New Dynamic Duo

A new dynamic duo was created recently. Being the keen political observer that I am, I became aware of this happening instantaneously. Those of you reading this foolishness are not as keen as I am keen and surely missed it. That's why I am blogging you. I want you to be keener.

In the AJC 3/13/08, Eliot Spitzer mapped out his future..."In an appearance that lasted 140 seconds, the governor —- with his wife, Silda, at his side —- offered an apology to his family and to the public and said he would devote himself to serving "the common good.""

Here is where the keen comes in. This obviously means he is joining O. J. Simpson in his stalled, but never-ending, search for The Real Killers.

An arrest is expected any day now.

Would I kid u?

Going To Need Al Jazeera Someday

One day terrorists are going to destroy a bunch of buildings somewhere in the U.S. and kill a whole bunch of us and, if it happens on a day like today, we will have to tune to Al Jazeera to find out what happened.

Have I lost it? Not really. Think back to what u saw on the news today, if u were unfortunate enough to have watched the news today. I was in the gym again. I sort of had no choice.

Today was Eliot Spitzer Day. There was nothing on the news in the gym except Eliot & Company...

• How much did he spend?
• How often did he do this sort of thing?
• How does this compare to the escapades of one Bill Clinton?
• Will his lost Super Delegate Vote cost Hillary the nomination?
• Where did he get the money?
• How was he found out?
• What does his wife think?
• Did you see how his wife bolted out of the SUV when they returned to their place of residence after the resignation news conference?
• Some say, "No big deal".
• Some say, "Big deal".
• Will he be prosecuted?
• Has he committed any prosecutable offenses?
• What prosecutable offenses has he committed?
• Why does his wife stand by him when he makes public appearances?
• Did his wife really tell him not to resign?
• Why did he resign so quickly?
• Is he being singled out because he is such a nasty guy?
• Why is he such a nasty guy?
• Etc.
• Etc.
• Etc.

Fox News had about 22 seconds of film coverage of Spitzer's comings and goings today. Fox News showed those 22 seconds of film footage over and over and over and over.

Heck, this might be one of those days like ... Everyone knows where they were when they heard Kennedy was shot.
Now we will have ... Everyone knows where he or she was when he or she heard about Former Governor Eliot Spitzer's Transgressions.

Dare I say this is going be known as SpitzerGate?
Would I kid u?

Carbon Credits & Beyond

I normally create my own Foolishness but this idea came to me on a radio talk show. Only the idea came to me. I have expanded the heck out of it. You might say I Foolished It Up.
We have all seen people who preach conservation but have a gigantic house, travel by private jet, own several big gas guzzling SUVs BUT portend that is not a problem because they have "Carbon Credits".
The person to whom they say this to says, "Oh, I understand". That person then goes home and says to their Spouse, Significant Other, Partner or whatever, "What's a Carbon Credit?"
If the person they are living with is Mr. Webster he informs them...
The word you've entered isn't in the dictionary. Click on a spelling suggestion below or try again using the search bar above. Suggestions for carbon credit: 1. carbonic acid 2. carbon-dated 3. carbon-dates 4. carbuncled 5. carbon cycle 6. carbuncular 7. carbon dioxide 8. corporatized 9. carbolic acids 10. carbon paper 11. Kerry blue terrier 12. carbon black 13. Khirbet Qumran 14. Christocentric 15. combinatorial 16. carbolic acid 17. carpentered 18. Khirbat Qumran 19. corpora delicti 20. carbamic acid
It has taken me awhile to get around to my Foolishness...Or Is It? but here it is...
Why stop at Carbon Credit? Why not expand this ingenious idea to...

• Adultery Credit?
• Assault & Battery Credit?
• Perjury Credit
• Embezzling Credit?
• Murder Credit?
• Child Molestation Credit?
• Cussing Credit?
• Bearing False Witness Credit?
• Dipping A Pig Tail In An Ink Well Credit?

Would I kid u?

Coming To You From Over The Hill

This is coming to u from Over The Hill cuz that is where I presently reside.

The USA Weekend Magazine this week has a listing of the Celebrity Birthdays this week. There were sixteen Celebrities listed. From the other side of the hill, I only recognized five of the people listed who are at present being worshiped by people who worship people. To further show you how far I am over the hill, there is only one of the five that I care to read &/or know anything further about (Shaquille O'Neal).

Don't feel sorry for me. I am still a good person. Just because I don't know or care about the likes of a Camryn Manheim (what the heck kind of name is Camryn?) does not mean I am a bad person.

Would I kid u?
PS: Spell check did not know Camryn either.

Severe As Opposed To Dire

I know you are all concerned about our North Georgia Drought. Thanks worrying about us.

Lake Lanier has risen 2.5 feet. It has been raining a lot. It has been raining so much that whichever department it is in the state government that is in charge of keeping us on edge about our water situation has decided that they are changing the current drought classification from something like Dire to something like Severe ... or is it from Severe to Dire? I forget. I got to pay more attention so I can worry as much as "they" want me to worry.

As my four-year-old grandson said to my daughter the other day, "This sure is a wet drought".

Would my four-year-old grandson kid u?

Oh, by the way, it is raining again today.

Update 2/24/14... California is having a drought. They say the worst kind of drought is classified as "Exceptional Drought". Really? Dire or Severe sound worst than that.

Huntley & Brinkley Are Dead

I'm at the gym again. As I struggle to keep on keeping on, I watch TV. I got to wondering how the children of those men who would have had jobs on all the daytime news commentary shows are surviving now that their fathers do not have jobs. In the old days, when Huntley & Brinkley ruled, all these Talking Heads would have been male. Today these missing males are not just on the endangered species list, they are extinct!

I saw a panel of talking heads solving the world's problems and NOT ONE of the five was a man. They were all better looking than Huntley and Brinkley but I am worried about The Children of the Extinct Males Who Ain't There No More.

Regarding working out at the gym ... Keeping healthy is enough to kill you.

Would I kid u?

Snow Flakes Are Out To Get You

According to the Atlanta Journal Constitution 2/29/08 there is bacteria in snowflakes. This is serious stuff. I, a highly capable creator of foolishness, am ready to describe to you the future. Knowing what is to come will permit you to better prepare yourself to protect your loved ones. Listed below are news stories we are sure to see...

• Eight-year-old arrested & taken to jail for throwing a snowball at an unsuspecting playmate.
• Research has shown that ingesting a mere 3,217,412 snowflakes is the equivalent of drinking 17 gallons of milk from a Chernobyl Cow.
• Parents have their three children removed by social services for allowing their driveway to remain unshoveled for 48 hours.
• The tiny hamlet of Winnewaka, Minnesota is the first to construct Covered Snow-Deflector Walkways from every one of their school bus stops to every one of their school bus delivered children’s front doors. Demonstrations are increasing throughout the country for similar action to be taken by other local municipalities. Protesting parents in Whatize, New York were interviewed. Their responses below show how dire they regard SnowflakeGate to be:
• “If Winnewaka can do it. Why can’t we do it?”
• “Are our children not as precious as Winnewaka’s children?”
• “I see no recourse but to recall our useless mayor and every one of his cronies on the city council.”

You probably think I am over reacting. Go ahead and mock me. I am telling you now that I will expect an email of apology from each of you when my predictions come to fruition.

Would I kid u?

Raising Children Again

I wish I were just starting out raising my children ... You just said to yourself, "Self, is he nuts"? Allow me to explain.

If we were just beginning to have children I now have a fool-proof way of getting my children to eat their vegetables. I would look each of them into their tear-filled eyes and threaten to send them to live the rest of their lives in Liberia.

The quote below comes from the Atlanta Journal Constitution on 2/22/08. Notice the use of the words "overrun", "pervasive", "half", "not", "uninhabitable", "little" & "no". After you finish using these words there is not much left to lament...
"The country is overrun with weapons, malnutrition is pervasive, half of children are not in school, and many buildings are uninhabitable. There is little running water or electricity and no sewage or landline phone system."

The Liberian Tourist Bureau is left with something like...
"Come join us in Liberia. Is it is a terrible place to live but you don't live long."

Would I kid u?

Picky Me

Here I go being picky again...I can't help myself.

What ticked me off today (2/22/08) was the News Media ... again. In the Atlanta Journal Constitution there is short article on page A4 that is headlined...
"Clinton tells fans to vote early"
What's wrong with that you ask? It's the word "fans". It's not supporters. It's fans. It's like this is some kind of sporting event or game. Some of us may laugh and say it is a game but this is serious stuff. It ought to talked about (by the media, anyway) as serious stuff.

It's the same as when a politician concludes a news conference and the media refers to how the news conference came off by referring to it as a "performance". This is not a stage play. It is politics. It may be shameful but it should be treated (by the media, anyway) as serious stuff.

Don't get me started about the congregation in our churches being referred to as "audiences". Oh my gosh! I am picky.

Would I kid u?

The PolLight

There ought to be a law that a red light be surgically installed on the top of the head of any candidate running for office. The light would function as follows…
If the candidate were speaking a lie, the light would turn on.

Because of some politician’s propensity to lie unceasingly, the light would have to be rigged so that it would blink every 45 seconds. If this were not the case, voters might lose faith that the light was working properly.

Would I kid u?

Not About John McCain

This is not a commentary about John McCain. It is a commentary about this guy Anonymous. He really gets around. He is sometimes a Senator or a Representative or a Staffer or an Insider or that old stand-by, Etc.

In the February 11, 2008 issue of Newsweek there is a large picture-on-the-front article about McCain. Senator/Representative/Staffer/Insider/Etc. Anonymous is all over this article...

• Page 31 - "says the aide, who declined to be identified speaking for Cornyn".
• Page 31 - "say a Pentagon official and an adviser to Rumsfeld who declined to be identified discussing a confidential meeting".
• Page 32 - "says a former aide who wished to avoid McCain's wrath by remaining anonymous".
• Page 32 - "who declined to be named discussing the internal workings of the campaign".

Since there have been incidents where entire articles and/or parts of articles have been made up (like that reporter for the New York Times did), I wonder if Mr. Anonymous is, in all reality, many times is Mr. Does-Not-Really-Exist-I-Just-Made-Up-All-This-Stuff-Cuz-My-Article-Needed-Some-Pizazz (not that there's anything wrong with that).

Would I kid u?

My Fondest Wish

There is no way to unite a country as large as the USofA but my fondest wish would be that all of us refuse to answer any questions from any political pollster about anything political. This would drive the politicians absolutely nuts. Think of the positive results that would come out of an I-Ain't-Gonna-Tell-You-Anything America....

• It would prevent politicians from tweaking their latest campaign pitch to address how the public reacted to their prior campaign pitch.
• It would drive the politicians absolutely nuts.
• They would be forced to tell us what they really plan to do when elected, instead of telling us what they think we want them to do when elected.
• They would be forced to think out their positions and stick with them and hope for the best.
• It would drive the politicians absolutely nuts.
• It would put every polling company out of business. Since they are only interested in what's best for America (yea, right), they would then be free to join the Peace Corps (if such a thing still exists).

One final tirade...
The silliest one is when we are told the results of a poll done by a Democratic or a Republican Pollster. It is strange how the "results" always come out favoring their party's positions. I guess I could be made to believe that the poll did come out in favor of their party's positions but, you will never get me to believe, that any poll that did not favor their party's positions was just not published at all. It's sort of like them saying, "We are going to keep polling the American People until the American People get it right".

Would I kid u?

When will I learn to keep my mouth shut?

We have 4 children and 9 grandchildren. That means we buy lots of presents throughout the year for our 4 children and 9 grandchildren. The other day my wife tells me that our second daughter is having a birthday and she is concerned because she does not know what to get her for a present. I say, "Why don't you just take her out to a nice lunch?" My wife says that is a good idea, thanks me for my good idea and says that is exactly what she is going to do.

Today is the day. Today they are going out for a nice lunch together. After their nice lunch together, they are going to go shopping to pick out a nice birthday present. If I had only kept my mouth shut, I would only see a visa come through for a nice present, instead of a nice present and a nice lunch.

Oh well. I guess this is why I worked so long and reached the height of my mediocre automotive career. I can afford it. I hope they have a nice time.

Would I kid u?