Right after Hurricane Katrina did its deed I got an idea about how I could set myself up for life. I wasted no time in hiring a high-powered lawyer who, as my representative, contacted ABC, CBS, NBC, CNN, CNBC, MSNBC & NPR to negotiate on my behalf. In short order I signed a contract with these esteemed media outlets that would pay me 25 cents, retroactive to the day after Katrina, for every time they use the word "aftermath" (as in ‘Katrina Aftermath’).
The negotiations were tougher than I expected. I had to give them a counter payment of $5,000 for every time they used the phrase, "George W. Bush is doing a good job."
Within a few weeks, bolstered by the huge sum of money that was rolling into my bank account, I made a down payment on 52 acres in the mountains outside of Ashville, NC.
If I had not weakened in my negotiations with my high-powered lawyer and agreed to pay him half, I could really have been really rich.
Would I kid u?
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