When Did Russia Start Trying To Interfere Electronically With The Good Ole USofA?

Everyone knows Russia started to mess electronically with the Good Ole USofA just before the 2016 Presidential Election. Why did they all of a sudden get so brazen?

I don’t like having people who are ill informed reading my silliness. If you were in agreement as you read through the above paragraph, maybe my blog is not for you. May I recommend People Magazine or Comic Books?

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If I did not make you mad in the paragraph above and you are still reading this Blog Posting, allow me to update your apparent limited knowledge of Russian Electronic Meddling with the Good Ole USofA.

First of all, you are way off with your thinking that Russia started electronically meddling in the last 3 years. How much way off? Don’t get your feelings hurt because you have a lot of other people believing this 3 years estimate but you and your other people are about 40 Years Off.

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Do you know what a Keylogger is? If not you are about to get a very brief education on Keyloggers...
Ø A Keylogger is a particularly insidious type of Spyware that can record and steal consecutive keystrokes (and much more) that users enter on a device.

Ø Using a Keylogger can allow Cyber Criminals to eavesdrop through your System Camera or through your Smartphone’s Microphone or through your Keyboards.

Do you remember the Typewriter? Go a step further. Do you remember the IBM Selectric Typewriter? The Russians started meddling with the IBM Selectric Typewriter in the Mid-1970s.

Way back then Soviet spies developed an amazingly clever hardware Keylogger that targeted IBM Selectric typewriters in the US Embassy and Consulate buildings in Moscow and St Petersburg.

Once installed, the Keyloggers measured the barely detectable changes in each typewriter’s regional magnetic field as the print head rotated and moved to type each letter.

In those days we were smarter than Russians because we figured out what they were doing and we thwarted their sneaky efforts by opting to use manual typewriters rather than electric ones for typing classified information.

We showed them. We made them crawl back into their dark places and say to their collective selves, “Selves, those Americans sure are smart! We are never going to ever try that kind of sneaky thing again!”...Or were they going to not?

Would I kid u?
Smartfella

Let's Go Ahead Because We Now Have The Go Ahead...Or Should We Wait Before We Go Ahead?

Businesses must spend money before they can make money. A Widget Factory must be built before Widgets can be built. Imagine the angst that would be created if, as soon as Widgets R Us completes the construction of their new State of the Art Widget Factory, Widgets were suddenly outlawed.

It just might be a wiser course of action for businesses to wait 2 or 3 or 5 years before they spend a whole bunch of money Going Ahead with the Go Ahead until they find out if a Judge is going to step in and put a hold on the Go Ahead and caused the Went Ahead Company to have wasted all the money it spent getting ready to take advantage of the Go Ahead they had gotten.

The stock holders will come down on management like a ton of bricks accusing them of Going Ahead with the Go Ahead before they found out if the Go Ahead was a Temporary Go Ahead or a Permanent Go Ahead.  

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Prime example of what is causing me to confuse you like this is that the Obama Administration issued an Executive Order, just weeks before it left office, which banned drilling in about 125 million acres of the U.S. Arctic Ocean and 3.8 million acres of the Atlantic Ocean.

President Trump issued a Counter Executive Order during his First Months in Office to overturn the Obama Administration’s last minute ban.

Two years later (on March 29, 2019) a federal judge in Alaska reinstated the Last Minute Ban.

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Uncertainty Has Certainly Become a Certain Problem

Why can’t judges act more quickly? Drilling for oil is very expensive undertaking and cannot be turned on and off as easily as politicians can sign go ahead directives and judges can sign cease and desist directives to cancel those signed go ahead directives.

Imagine the money that may have been spent by oil drilling companies getting ready to start getting ready to suck the oil or gas out of the ground only to have a judge say the Ready To Spring Into Action Company can’t start sucking the oil or gas out of the ground.

All that spent money does not come back into their coffers when a judge says they can’t proceed. Are businesses in the future going to stop acting on the authority to do what they do (spend money to make money and deliver products and services) because future judges may outlaw what they were lawfully doing?

Don’t forget that, during this spending money process (and into the foreseeable future), employees are paid salaries and families are fed.

What happens when businesses run out of money or get too timid to act? Senator Foghorn Leghorn addressed this perplexing issue only yesterday, “Son, I say, Son, that’s not for us to worry about, especially not this close to Happy Hour. I say leave this thorny issue for future Presidents and Congresses to figure out. They might come up with something”.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

I’m Going To Sue The Heck Out Of Snickers Candy Bars

My question to the Lawyers that read my Blog is…

Have you ever seen a more open and shut case of Blog Identification Infringement than this?

Which one of you wants to represent me? The first of my Dear Lawyer Readers to accept my case is going to make a Tidy Sum of Easy Money, but you have to be quick, because other Dear Lawyer Blog Readers are certain to be jumping at the chance to represent me.

My question for the Dear Lawyer Reader that becomes My Snickers Law Suit Lawyer...

If I eat the evidence, will it hurt my case if we were to only present the empty wrapper to the court?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Your Wife Is Going To New York City To Buy A $3,000 Dress And You Quickly Realize That That Dress Is Going To Cost You A Lot More Than $3,000

Your wife is swooshing around the living room wearing the $3,000 Wide Swath Dress (the black and white spotted one above) she bought when she and her lady friends went to New York City to see the latest fashions. You feel the beginning of You-Did-What? Distress Syndrome coming on and you can’t catch your breath.

Your wife has always been one to be concerned about your health, so she springs into action. Immediately she recognizes your distress and she hits you with one of the Make ‘Em Feel Better Soothing Tidbits that the Fashion Designer who she bought the $3,000 Dress from (Eli Yousurearestupid) had her memorize right after she signed the Visa Receipt.

She tries out the first Soothing Tidbit on her wide-eyed husband...

Darling, you need to understand that these sculptural designs have an urbane sophistication that’s due in part to their relaxed relationship with the female body.

That did not work, so she immediately tried the second Soothing Tidbit on her wide-eyed starting to foam from the mouth husband...

Volume in women’s fashion can be read as denoting power. You see, sweetie pie, the wearing of big clothes is assertive and is a way of taking up space. “It’s like, ‘I’m here and don’t mess with me,’”

At this point she recognizes that the Soothing Tidbits are having the opposite of their intended effect as her husband is struggling to get to his Blood Pressure Medicine.

She begins to fear she is losing him for sure as she recalls the image of what another disbelieving husband had put into a letter about these Wide Swath Fashions when he wrote...

...the designers should be “shackled with Chanel chain belts and force-fed Audrey Hepburn movies until they gained some taste and appreciation of the female body”.

Do you want to see more Wide Swath Fashions?...

Had enough of more?

This Blog Posting is reaching the Bottom Line and here it is... If your wife tells you she is going with the girls to NYC to see some Fashion Shows, here’s what you do as soon as the wheels of the girl’s plane leaves the ground...

Ø Go to the nearest Harley-Davidson Motorcycle store and buy that Big One you have always wanted.

Ø Before you leave the Cycle Store go into the Accessories Department and buy everything the commission hungry salesman recommends.

Ø Call Geico and insure your body, your bike and all your accessories.

Ø Go back home and sleep the sleep of Great Anticipation.

Ø The next morning get on your Hog and take a 3 Week Trip out west to see all those places where John Wayne made all those great movies.

(Word Of caution: On your trip, do not ask any waitress younger than 40 years old if she knows who John Wayne was because her answer will certainly cause you to mumble to yourself for the next 15 miles of your ride.)

If you get home and your wife tells you she did not buy a $3,000 Wide-Swath Dress, give her 2 smiles...

Ø One smile of Relief and Thanksgiving.

Ø One smile of remembrance for the wonderful Motor Cycle Trip You and John Wayne had enjoyed together.

Finally, say a little prayer for all those bugs that died on your helmet’s faceplate as you merrily rolled along (except for those 15 miles where you mumbled to yourself).

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Making It All Better

There is an article in the Wall Street Journal that starts off with a Big Bold Promise...

“All Americans would be able to get care from their chosen providers without having to pay premiums, deductibles or copayments.”

I will not attempt to explain all of what the author of the article says to get to the point where he talks about Taxes. I’ll just lay out the Taxes part because that is the part we fear the most and understand the least.

 

Eventually the author says that the government would need to take about $1 Trillion out of what businesses and families now pay to private insurers.

 

(Here I go again but this time in more depth... Remember $1 Trillion is 1 Thousand Billion Dollars and $1 Billion is 1 Thousand Million Dollars.)

 

Where is the $1 Trillion to come from? The author says it will come from a Confusing Array of Taxes and Fees (another word for taxes)...

Ø He proposes that all businesses that currently purchase health insurance for their employees be mandated to pay into Medicare for All 92% of what they now spend to purchase that health care insurance.

Ø He proposes that larger firms that haven’t provided coverage for every worker would pay $500 for each uninsured worker.

Ø He proposes that small businesses would be exempt from these premiums. (This makes me wonder how many currently small businesses will strive to stay small because they will not be able to “afford” to become big.)

Ø He proposes that after two or three years, this system could make a transition to a 1.78% Tax on Gross Receipts.

Ø He proposes the possibility that the above 1.78% Tax on Gross Receipts could be bypassed in favor of an 8.2% Payroll Tax.

Ø He proposes a National Sales Tax of 3.75% on nonnecessities (Congress will argue over what is a nonnecessity forever).

Ø He proposes a Wealth Tax of 0.38% (after exempting the first $1 million of all families’ net worth).

Ø He proposes taxing Long-Term Capital Gains as Ordinary Income.

The Bottom Line: The sum of these revenue streams will allow Medicare for All to operate with a 1% Budget Surplus.

 

How in the name of heaven can these many New Complicated and Confusing Taxes be imposed on a Fluid and Volatile Economy and this man has the gall to look into our wide disbelieving eyes and say, “All of this will result in a 1% Budget Surplus”?

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Lagniappe: If you want to read the entire article for yourself, click below, however, I warn you, if you think what I wrote in this Blog Posting was confusing, the confusion you just read was the tip of the iceberg… https://flipboard.com/@WSJ/the-case-for-medicare-for-all/f-89912b738f/wsj.com

Are We Headed For Our First What’s His/Her Name President?

If you are to become President of the Good Ole USofA, should not someone have heard of you before you are sworn in?

 

I recently saw a news clip on my TV which showed pictures of 9 Presidential Candidates. There were 5 pictures on the top row and 4 on the bottom row. The Unseen Talking Head said the names of the 5 on top in a sentence that contained this kind of wording...

...of the announced presidential candidates, Warren, Sanders, Booker, Gillibrand, Harris and others...

Since I am a Accomplished Noticer I noticed the “and others” part of the sentence. I thought to myself, “What chance does one have of being elected if the Talking Heads of the Good Ole USofA don’t even mention your name during your presidential run?”

 

Do voters go into the voting booth thinking to themselves thoughts like...

Ø I would be really impressed with that candidate if I knew anything about him.

Ø I am ready to vote for that guy on the bottom row but I can’t remember his name. I am almost certain that it began with a “P”. I’ll just go down the list here and see if there is a name that begins with a “P”.

Ø Eeny, meeny, miny, moe…

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Not only do I Notice but I also wonder. I started wondering how many people were actually running for President. I searched the Internet and came up with an article in USA Today that listed a lot more than the 9 I talked about above. That means there are some that have even less of a chance of being elected than those 4 on the bottom row.

 

Below is an alphabetical listing of the people who have officially announced their Candidacy or have formed an Exploratory Committees (whatever that is)…

Ø Cory Booker

Ø Pete Buttigieg

Ø Julián Castro

Ø John Delaney

Ø Tulsi Gabbard

Ø Kirsten Gillibrand 

Ø Kamala Harris

Ø John Hickenlooper

Ø Jay Inslee

Ø Amy Klobuchar

Ø Beto O'Rourke

Ø Bernie Sanders

Ø Elizabeth Warren

Ø Marianne Williamson

Ø Andrew Yang

 

I never heard of some of these candidates and, some of the ones I have heard of, I have only heard of because I heard they announced their candidacy for president.

 

I could Google the ones I do not know but I’ll just wait for a bunch of them to drop out and save some Googling Time and Effort.

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Every one of these candidates claims that they can “Bring People Together”. They usually say this while they are swirling around in controversy.

 

John Hickenlooper stands out from the crowd because he is the first candidate in the history of the Good Ole USofA (probably the world) who has puffed out his chest and said, “You should vote for me because I took my mother to see Deep Throat”.

 

I found an article on the Internet about Hickenlooper that years ago would have immediately caused a candidate to Drop Out Of The Race. It appears John is so proud of his “accomplishments” that he put his “accomplishments” in his autobiography. The article’s headline is... “Hickenlooper offers something different in crowded Democratic field: A detailed history of his sexual conquests”.

 

The first 3 paragraphs of the article are...

If Democratic voters are struggling to see what sets John Hickenlooper apart from the 2020 pack they need to look no further than his autobiography, which outlines in excruciating detail his quest to lose his virginity and, seemingly, every sexual exploit since.

The candidate's book, The Opposite of Woe: My Life in Beer and Politics, outlines the journey from a child in the Philadelphia suburbs to the president of a brewing company, mayor of Denver, and then governor of Colorado.

Sprinkled throughout is the minutiae of his angst-ridden relationships with women, named and unnamed. A Washington Examiner analysis totaled Hickenlooper's declared sexual partners at seven, including his two wives. Even his experience of the 9/11 terrorism attacks is viewed through the prism of whom he was in bed with at the time.

Where were you when you heard the news of the 9/11 Terrorist Attacks? Yes, my Dear Readers, John knows where he was...

At one point, Hickenlooper's romantic desires eclipsed one of the gravest moments of American history. He devotes four paragraphs to his experience during the 9/11 attacks, when he was 49, which he introduces by saying that he "was visiting the intriguing Helen Thorpe in Austin Texas" that day.

"On September 11, 2001, Helen and I were just getting out of bed in Austin when we heard the news that a plane had crashed into the World Trade Center."

Last but not least, I prove my contention above about Bringing People Together by offering you the last paragraph of this Internet Article...

"I believe that not only can I beat Donald Trump, but that I am the person that can bring people together on the other side and actually get stuff done". (Yea, I did the underlining.)

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Lagniappe: I just watched a promo video about Hickenlooper. At the end of the video a Former Hickenlooper Strategist says, “…I think he can speak his mind and do so in an unscripted way but with core values that more align with the country”. Silly me. I always thought Core Values and Detailed History of Sexual Conquests were not that closely related.

They Can’t Be Serious!

There are Known Knowns ... Things that we know we know.

There are Known Unknowns ... Things that we know we do not know.

There are Unknown Unknowns ... Things that we don’t know that we don’t know.

Reading over the above confusion makes all of us want to have a discussion of Bestiality...Or does it? And, if it does...Why does it?

 

I’m going to begin by talking about Known Knowns. On the Negative Side Known Knowns are things that are accepted by all of us as being wrong. No need to question them. Certainly there is no need to pass laws about them...Or is there?

 

Governor Bevin Signs Bill Outlawing Sex Between People And Animals In Kentucky

My first impulse is to think this is a waste of time. Why bother with such a law? People don’t go around having sex with animals...Or do they?

 

As I educated myself about this subject by reading through the news article I found about Kentucky and their Animal Sex Problems, I found out that Kentucky is not a trail blazer on this issue. Now that Kentucky has passed its Bestiality Law there are only 4 States left without Anti-Bestiality Laws on their books. They are Wyoming, New Mexico, West Virginia and Hawaii.

 

I wonder if there are Gaggles of Bestiality Loving People Flocking to these 4 states?

 

Kentucky easily passed the House and Senate Bills earlier this month and all of the restrictions below remain in effect for at least five years after the convicted ones complete their sentences.

 

The Kentucky Law has these kinds of provisions...

Ø Sex crimes against an animal are a Class D felony.

Ø They are punishable by one to five years in prison.

Ø The convicted are prohibited from owning animals.

Ø The convicted cannot live in a household with animals.

Ø The convicted cannot work or volunteer in a place where they would have unsupervised access to animals.

 

All of this comes as a shock to me. I have often claimed to be a Smart Fella in my Blog Postings. Many times this is actually said by me with my tongue planted firmly in my own cheek. However, I do actually think I am pretty smart compared to some people, like members of congress, but I had no idea this activity was so popular among my fellow man and animals.

 

I guess we learn something new every day.

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Did I Just Hear You Say You Don’t Believe In Inflation?

Don’t you dare try and deny it! I heard you say you don’t believe in Inflation! Here is exactly what you said, “Yea, prices go up a little bit. So what? A little bit is not much. Certainly a little bit is not Inflationary!”

Or is it?

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The other day I was with the guys in a Dunkin Donuts. I ordered a Single Donut. Compared to others in the display case, it looked to be bigger.

I may have thought it was bigger because it had a hole in the middle and Mr. Dunkin probably makes the Holed Ones slightly bigger to try and trick the Donut Eater into thinking they are bigger to compensate the eater for the loss of the hole.

I have thought about this before but this time I actually asked the Donut Dolly if the donut I was tempted to buy was truly bigger. She said it was slightly bigger but it came with the hole in the middle which is where Mr. Dunkin puts the Vitamins.

Don’t you just love it when you come across an Honest Donut Dolly?

I paid her $1.13 and took my Slightly Bigger Holed Donut back to the table where we planned to eat our Vitamin Filled Treasures and tell our lies and insult each other for the next 20 minutes.

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I know I just made my Female Dear Readers reading this Blog Posting sad because they know they do not participate in this time-honored Male Tradition. I actually feel sorry for my Female Dear Readers because they do not do this with your female friends. They are really missing out on a lot of fun.

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Where Did The Inflation Part Of This Blog Posting Go?

Were you wondering if the Inflation Part of this Blog Posting went away? Don’t you get your hopes up. Inflation never goes away.

Once I sat down at the Lying and Insulting Table I placed my Holed Vitamin Filled Donut on a spread out napkin. It was then that the full weight of Inflation hit me.

It seemed like only yesterday that, when I was 8 years old, I used to do to Long’s Bakery on Carrolton Avenue in New Orleans and buy Box Of Cream Filled Much Bigger Without Holes Donuts for $.40 a dozen!

No, they did not have holes but I was sure the Vitamins were in there somewhere. How did I know that? I knew because I asked the Donut Dolly and she told me, “You bet ya, little fella. These here donuts are chock full of vitamins.”

Would I kid u?
Smartfella

My Post Card Must Have Gotten Lost In The Mail

Do you remember all the talk about our being able to do our Income Taxes on a Post Card? Go ahead and admit you forgot all about this vote getting promise. The people who ask for our votes count on us forgetting about such things. History has proven they know how to count.

 

This is the kind of promise that will always get out the vote. It got votes in the last election and it will get votes in the next election. That’s why in political circles it is called, A Never Ending Promise.

 

If it became a Fulfilled Promise it would quickly become a Forgotten Promise and it would no longer be effective in gathering votes. No one is going to get excited when a politician makes a promise to give you something that you already have.

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Here is how I came to remember this Post Card Promise...

Ø I was in Starbucks the other day and I took note of this Buckster who looked really beaten up.

Ø I asked him why he looked so frazzled and he replied, “I’m a CPA and it is Tax Season and, as usual, we are covered up in boxes of Raked Paperwork”.

I interrupted him to ask what Raked Paperwork was.

Ø He said that was where the American Taxpayer goes into his garage gets his garden rake and uses it to clear off his desk by raking all his tax documents into a big box and brings that box into his CPA, leaves it there saying as he leaves, “Hurry up”.

Having answered my interruption, he got back to explaining his frazzled state...

Ø He said it’s worst than awful this year because of the Post Card Promise various politicians had campaigned on (again) in the last election.

Ø The politicians had turned the promise over to the IRS for implementation and then they went to Happy Hour.

Ø The IRS had performed a vague swipe at the Post Card Promise which resulted in the 2018 Tax Return incorporating 5 New Tax Schedules into the madness that we have all come to hate so much.

 

The Bottom Line is, to put your tax calculation numbers on a Post card (if there actually was a Post Card) the Tax Payer must still make a Humongous Number of Calculations on Tax Schedules and 5 New Tax Schedules have been added.

 

The CPAs are being driven over the edge this year more than ever. They are feeling Betrayed, Put Upon, Beaten Up but one thing they are not feeling is Surprised.

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I tried to cheer my new CPA friend up. I cracked a few jokes but they all fell flat like, “It could be worse. They could have come up with 6 New Tax Schedules”. It was about then that I thought he was going to hit me.

 

I quickly ascertained that cheering him up was hopeless. I started backing away leaving him to his misery.

 

By the time I backed out of the door the poor fellow had actually started to whimper loudly and the Bucksters nearest to him were beginning to relocate further away from him and/or put in their Starbucks Logoed Earplugs that are displayed right next to the Baconless, Eggless, Glutenless Bacon and Egg Biscuit Display.

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Governmental Protection or Governmental Confusion

The Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act stipulates that we (the minions of the Good Ole USofA) are entitled to an Annual Wellness Visit.

 

My Family Doctor likes me. (I pay him well to like me.) He performs an Annual Physical on me during my birth month each year and he follows that up 6 months later with a Mini Physical.

 

I am going to turn down the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act’s Annual Wellness Visit because I see it as overkill and at my age I avoid anything with the word “kill” in it.

 

However, after reading the letter my doctor is required to send to me by my Governmental Protectors, I am thinking I need to schedule a visit to my Well Paid Doctor to address a New Area of Concern that I now have. My New Area of Concern is I have now become Confused.

 

See if you can understand why I am confused...

“The components of this examination are detailed in the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act. According to Congress, the AWV examination is considered a screening and preventive examination only. If a person has any specific medical complaints, symptoms or active problems that require evaluation outside the definition of the preventive nature of this exam, then the visit may not be considered preventative.”

 

Why do my Governmental Protectors do these kinds of things to us? Are they going to be laughing at Happy Hour tonight about how confused they have made us or are they just confused themselves?

 

I don’t know which it is but I bet they are not looking forward to phone calls from us minions where we say to them, “Can you explain this to me.”

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

After Reading Darn Near Any Paragraph Of Darn Near Any Law Passed By Our 9% Approval Rated Congress This Question Is Sure To Be Asked... “Huh?”

I have done this kind of analysis in the past for Foolishness...Or Is It?. I am doing it again because you were not paying attention last time.

Point of discussion for today: Our Laws Are So Confusing They Can’t Be Understood

Send in the Regulators (or as Frank Sinatra used to sing), “Send In The Clowns”. These Civil Servants tell us what the laws mean based on their understanding of what the words say...

Ø Or is it...What they think they say.

Ø Or is it...What they are told they say.

Ø Or is it...What they want them to say.

We will never know. We just comply as best we can and, if we get it wrong, we go to jail.

I contend that the excerpts you are about to read below are Silliness That Even the Creators of this Confusion Do Not Understand.

------------------------

I promise you that the 3 paragraphs below were taken completely at random from...

PUBLIC LAW 115–52—AUG. 18, 2017 entitled

“FDA Reauthorization Act of 2017”

My completely at random first paragraph:

(J) in subparagraph (A) of such paragraph (2), by

amending the first sentence to read as follows: ‘‘Except

as provided in subparagraphs (B) and (C), each person

who is named as the applicant in a human drug application,

and who, after September 1, 1992, had pending before

the Secretary a human drug application or supplement,

shall pay the annual prescription drug program fee established

for a fiscal year under subsection (c)(5) for each

prescription drug product that is identified in such a human

drug application approved as of October 1 of such fiscal

year.’’;

------------------------

Another completely at random paragraph from the same law:

(G) scientific or operational challenges associated with

performing an investigation described in section

505B(a)(1)(B) of the Federal Food, Drug, and Cosmetic

Act, including the effect on pediatric studies currently

underway in a pediatric patient population, treatment of

a pediatric patient population, and the ability to complete

adult clinical trials;

------------------------

The last completely at random paragraph from the same law:

‘‘(A) data, analysis, and discussion of the changes in

the number of full-time equivalents hired as agreed upon

in the letters described in section 301(b) of the Generic

Drug User Fee Amendments of 2017 and the number of

full time equivalents funded by budget authority at the

Food and Drug Administration by each division within

the Center for Drug Evaluation and Research, the Center

for Biologics Evaluation and Research, the Office of Regulatory

Affairs, and the Office of the Commissioner;

All Regulatory Interpretations usually come down to one or all of the following...

Ø Trust us.

Ø We are smart and you’re not.

Ø You owe more taxes.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: If you want to practice your Written Law Understanding Skills, click on the link below and you can read this Unable To Be Understood Foolishness in its entirety. You will then be able to hone your skills on the 38,241 or 39,917 words contained in the law (I took 2 different counts and got 2 different totals)...

https://www.congress.gov/bill/115th-congress/house-bill/2430/text?format=txt

Money Each Month Is Breaking Me!

I’m a sucker for Emotional TV Appeals and the effect on my meager resources is sucking me dry.

We are all being bombarded by appeals to donate money every month for all kinds of TV Appeals That Are Very Hard to Turn Down.

Who can forget those Shivering and Malnourished dogs out in the cold that have had their coats scuffed up with wire brushes?

You know of which I speak. These ads ask us for only $11 or only $19 or only $25 a month to make everything all better for whomever/whatever the ads are appealing to us about.

For example, the $19/month ones pull at our heart strings (actually they pull at our wallets) by asking us how we can refuse to spend only .6333333333333333 cents a day to make it all better for whomever or whatever is suffering out there somewhere.

If the average American multiplies .6333333333333333 cents a day times the number of such appeals they see on TV, they are going to stop being able to afford braces on their children’s teeth and then we are going to see ads on TV appealing for $19/month for Shivering and Malnourished Orthodontists.

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They do the same thing with Shivering and Malnourished Jews out in the deserts of Israel. (Silly me, I always thought deserts were hot.) Except for all those bombs bursting in air over them, I always thought Israel was doing OK but then the Shivering and Malnourished Jews Ads started and I was horrified. Those poor suffering people! They look like they are living in the South Side of Chicago.

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I am not impugning all of these Shivering/Suffering Ads. This blog is simply warning my Dear Readers that they better resist the temptation to contribute to all of them or they run the risk one day becoming Shivering and Malnourished themselves.

************************

Here is a partial listing of the Shivering and Malnourished Ads I jotted down while watching my TV over the last week or so...

Ø Dogs and Cats...Asks for our money for these poor creatures. The pictures they show are really hard to look at.

Ø Closing Gaps in Gap-Toothed People’s Gapped Teeth.

Ø Starving/Shivering Jews...It’s not the Israeli Government pleading for these poor souls. Actually it’s an American-Based Tax-Exempt Chicago-Based Group doing the pleading.

Ø St. Jude’s Hospital. This one got my donation more than once.

Ø Build homes for widows of soldiers that have been killed inaction.

Ø Removing tattoos from people who were stupid enough to get tattooed. Their tag line says, “Please help these Stupid Tattoo Covered People to no longer look like they were stupid enough to become Stupid Tattoo Covered People”.

Ø Wounded Warriors. This one makes me nervous about donating to it.

Ø Shriners Hospitals. This one has not gotten to me yet but I have to look away fast when it comes on.

I made up some of these...Or did I?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: The TV ad that really has bothered me over these many years is the one that blamed for all of those Forest Fires. I hardly ever go into the forest, but every time a Forest Fire breaks out, I am told I was the only one that could have prevented it.