I May Be Changing The World

I probably exaggerated by using the title above. The World Changing Part is the Exaggerated Part. The truth is I appear to only be changing my Local Newspaper.

Are you interested enough to read on? Are you confused enough to read on? I’ll accept interested or confused as you reason for reading on. I’m not picky.

I can see you are wondering why I think I am having an effect on my Local Newspaper. It’s because I have been known to make things up in my blog and my local Newspaper appears to be following my lead.

 

Here is a Bullet Point Summation of the article in my Local Newspaper that has me pecking out this Foolishness & has you wondering why I am pecking out this Foolishness...

Ø Local Police have arrested a Local Indecent Exposure Man.

Ø Our Local Indecent Exposure Man has showed his Indecent Parts 6 times since early June.

Ø He has been seen driving 2 different vehicles but none of the victims have been able to provide a tag number because they tended to be exercising without their cell-phones.

 

Do you see where my Local Newspaper tried to be like me by making things up? What you say you don’t?! I continue to be disappointed in you, my Dear Readers. I have tried to hone your Noticing Skills but here you go again failing to live up to my example!

As the above picture will testify women Do Not Exercise without their phones.

 

As I was trying to keep my heart from attacking me at my local high school track recently, I watched this lady go round and round more times than I could count and all the time she was talking on her cell phone.

 

I am prone to believe that, if she called and there was no one out there to talk to, she would have held the phone to her ear anyway. If she was asked why she held the phone there when there was no one to talk to, she would probably have looked at the questioner as if he were stupid and said, “That’s where it belongs!”

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Lagniappe: It is hard to comprehend that there was a time when we remembered license plate numbers of bad people we encountered. Now we have come to the point where, if we don’t have our phone to take a picture of the license plate, we don’t bother trying. That’s just asking too much!

There Is So Much Money Out There It Has Lost Its Value…Or has it?

• In 1968 the Wimbledon Total Purse was 26,150 Pounds.
• This year’s Wimbledon Total Purse is 28,100,000 Pounds ($41,050,000).

You think that is amazing, look at the picture below. It is astounding that the second place guy is not bursting out laughing at his little trophy. (If you can’t see his trophy, magnify the picture.)

I’m not saying this is a picture of the Wimbledon winners but it must have been pretty big tournament because the winner with the larger trophy looks like Rod Laver.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(You can’t say I don’t give you a variety of Foolishness to look at.)

What Would We Do Without Wal-Mart?

Wal-Mart To The Rescue!

I know many of you have one or more Pink Flamingo’s in your front yards & most likely have been hit hard by the Flamingo Flu (probably planted in the Good Ole USofA by ISIS). Below is a picture of the devastation caused by the Flamingo Flu in South Florida. It is an awful site to behold!

 

It has been reported that the ones that are more white than pink suffered the most.

 

We have all come to depend on Wal-Mart &, once again Wal-Mart has come through for us. Rush down to your local Wal-Mart today & get your Pink Flamingo Replacement before they are all gone.

 

Wal-Mart has guaranteed that they are Flamingo Flu Proof but is non-committal about their susceptibility to Athlete’s or Trench Foot.

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

I Did Not Plagiarize This Article...Or Did I Not?

I am not taking credit for the well written quoted words below. I thought about gathering up the thoughts contained & saying it in my own way but I decided against it. I will simply give credit to Mr. Philip K. Howard for the well written quoted words &, at the end of this Foolishness, give you the opportunity to again read my well written words from a past Foolishness to show that, almost 8 years ago, I tried to say the same thing.  

And you thought I was just being silly...

“The buildup of federal law since World War II has been massive—about 15-fold. The failure of Congress to adapt old laws to new realities predictably causes public programs to fail in significant ways.

The excessive cost of American health care, for example, is baked into legal mandates that encourage unnecessary care and divert 30% of a health-care dollar to administration. The 1965 law creating Medicare and Medicaid, which mandates fee-for-service reimbursement, has 140,000 reimbursement categories today and requires massive staffing to manage payment for each medical intervention, including giving an aspirin.

In education, compliance requirements keep piling up, diverting school resources to filling out forms and away from teaching students. Almost half the states now have more administrators and support personnel than teachers. One congressional mandate from 1975, to provide special-education services, has mutated into a bureaucratic monster that sops up more than 25% of the total K-12 budget, with little left over for early education or gifted programs.

Why is it so difficult for the U.S. to rebuild its decrepit infrastructure? Because getting permits for a project of any size requires hacking through a jungle of a dozen or more agencies with conflicting legal requirements. Environmental review should take a year, not a decade.

Most laws with budgetary impact eventually become obsolete, but Congress hardly ever reconsiders them. New Deal farm subsidies had outlived their usefulness by 1940 but are still in place, costing taxpayers about $15 billion a year. For any construction project with federal funding, the 1931 Davis-Bacon law sets wages, as matter of law, for every category of worker.

Bringing U.S. law up-to-date would transform our society. Shedding unnecessary subsidies and ineffective regulations would enhance America’s competitiveness. Eliminating unnecessary paperwork and compliance activity would unleash individual initiative for making our schools, hospitals and businesses work better. Getting infrastructure projects going would add more than a million new jobs.

But Congress accepts these old laws as a state of nature. Once Democrats pass a new social program, they take offense at any suggestion to look back, conflating its virtuous purpose with the way it actually works. Republicans don’t talk much about fixing old laws either, except for symbolic votes to repeal Obamacare. Mainly they just try to block new laws and regulations. Statutory overhauls occur so rarely as to be front-page news.”

Here is the link to the entire article quoted above...

http://www.conservativesolutionsproject.com/2016/04/01/the-crippling-hold-of-old-law/

 

Here is my past blog posting on the same subject...

 

There Ought To Be A Federal Law Against Federal Laws
Is it possible to keep track of all the Federal Laws?
November 03, 2008 | 05:05 PM

When members of our 9% Approval Rating Congress run for re-election they always tout in their "accomplishments" all the laws they proposed, sponsored and/or co-signed. They seem very proud when offering these facts up as undeniable evidence that they are deserving of the Public Trust (whatever that is).

The whole process is a mess…

Ø  Members of Congress spend gobs of money traveling to places like France and China in order to gather facts about legislation they propose upon their return. The problem is their legislation has nothing to do with France or China.

Ø  Once a law is passed, it has to be enforced. This requires more bureaucrats. (Bureaucrats … that can certainly be the subject of another Foolishness, Or Is It?).

Ø  Once a law is passed, it has to be kept track of, recorded and disseminated to the folks back home. How in the hell can they keep track of, record and disseminate to the folks back home 1,000 new laws passed every year?

Ø If we were lucky, no one would know of and/or bother with the 1,000 new laws, once passed.

I think that we ought to be smart enough, at this point in our storied history, where we could have legislation in place that would require that two laws must be repealed for each new law passed. If this were to come to pass, in a hundred years or so, we ought to be down to a manageable 10,000 laws (give or take a few). That just might be a workable number.

I am coming around to the point of thinking where the incumbent who can verifiably proclaim in his campaign slogan, "I Did Not Do Anything Since You Sent Me To Congress", is the kind of Do-Nothing that will get my vote in the future.

 

Could it be that I know what I am talking about?

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

He Won’t Be With Us For Very Much Longer But He Looks So Healthy!

I am on the way back from a trip to Park City, Utah. If you have a friend living in Park City, Utah and he invites you to come out for a visit you should jump at the chance. I drove out there and it was 1,871 miles but it was worth every mile.

I visited with 2 Medical Evacuation Pilots who served with me in Vietnam in 1965. It was special! Old friends are the best kind of friends and the older we get the better they get.

However, I am worried about our host. One night he came out of his bedroom wearing his 1965 Dress Blue Army Uniform. This was both Surprising and Sad...
· The Surprising Part was that It Still Fit Perfectly.
· The Sad Part was It Still Fit Perfectly.

I got to thinking that for it to Fit Perfectly he must be sick. He must be on the way out. He must be heading for the last roundup. He must be wasting away. He must have some dire debilitating disease. Putting that uniform for us must have been on his bucket list. The more I thought about it, the sadder I got.

On the other hand my trim friend plays a lot of tennis, does a lot of skiing, he eats a very healthy diet, does not drink alcohol and the week before my arrival he road in a bicycle journey all up and down the entire state of Colorado.

Maybe there is hope for him. Maybe he is not sick. Maybe he is gonna make it after all.

It just might be that all that exercise and proper diet are the reasons why his 1965 Dress Blue Army Uniform still Fits Perfectly!

Would I kid u?
Smartfella

Lagniappe: I have no idea when my Dress Blue Uniform disappeared from my closet but I’m really glad it did. It would be really discouraging if, when I got back from my 3,742 mile trip, I got curious enough to go try it on.

Some Things Never Change

Some things in life can be depended upon to never change...

Ø The Rock of Gibraltar

Ø Water Flows Down Hill

Ø Death

Ø Taxes

Ø Tattoos Are Ugly On Young Bodies & Are Going To Be Uglier When those Young Bodies Get To Be An Old Bodies

 

There is another Never Gonna Change Fact we hear every day on the Nightly News...There are 11 Million Illegal Aliens in the Good Ole USofA.

 

Every day more Illegal Aliens come into our country but the total number in our country never changes. It is always 11 Million.

 

Think about this Silliness. It is absolutely true. We have been told that there are 11 Million Illegal Aliens in the Good Ole USofA for about 20 years now. Why does it never change? Is it because...

Ø We are being lied to?

Ø Have they (whoever they are) decided that We Can’t Handle the Truth? If that is the case, why does Jack Nicholson not come right out & tell us?

Ø They think we are stupid?

 

I found this Silliness & I lay it out for you to decide whether it is Foolishness.

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Revise & Extend...Huh?

I’m so naive. I have always thought what was entered into the Congressional Record was the exact recording of what our Members of Congress said when they stand up & poke holes in the air with their fingers.

I am now disillusioned. My chops have been busted. My faith in my fellow man has gone caput. My dobber is in the dirt (whatever that means).

I have found out that Exact Ain’t Exact because of the existence of a phrase I have heard many times uttered in Congress but, until now, have paid little attention to. The phrase is, “I Reserve the Right to Revise and Extend my Remarks”.

The Congressional Record actually contains speeches, tributes and other extraneous words that were not actually uttered during open proceedings of Congress. 

This means that, by custom and rules of each chamber, members can make dramatic changes to what was actually said on the floor before the debates are finalized into the Congressional Record.

It appears that a Member of Congress can stand up and lose his train of thought, mispronounce words, state facts as fact that are not factual & then ”fix it later” (or have one of his many assistants fix it for him while he goes to Happy Hour).

The end result is that final entry into the Congressional Records could end up being what the member said, some of what the member said, none of what the member said or what the administrative assistant whishes the member had said.

Don’t shoot the messenger (I’m the messenger). As Howard Cosell said, I’m Just Telling It Like It Is.

On the other hand, if ole Howard had been a Member of Congress he could spent his Sports Journalistic Career, Telling It Like It Might Have Been If It Were Different Than What It Actually Was.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

How Would You Feel If You Woke Up One Day & Found Out You Were Dead?

Excerpts from an article that reported on this happening...

Ø The Department of Veterans Affairs has mistakenly declared thousands of veterans to be deceased and canceled their benefits over the past five years.

Ø The VA has made the error more than 4,000 times over a half-decade because of employee mistakes or erroneous cross-checking of data by the department’s computers.

Ø The VA has changed its procedures to address the issue, but it isn’t yet clear whether the new system is working. 

Ø For veterans, the mistake can be devastating, as benefits checks can suddenly stop showing up. 

Ø “Generally, I just don’t think people understand how bad it could be. It could be one day you’ve got a house, and the next you don’t,” said a Navy Veteran whose benefits were cut off last year. He was able to have his benefits restored initially, but a few months later, he was again cut off. 

Ø The former boat crewman became well-known locally for a few days, thanks to television and newspaper coverage the first time around. “I walked into the sandwich shop, and they were like, ‘Hey, it’s the dead guy!’”

 

He is ahead of the game...He has been declared alive 3 times (counting when he was born) & only dead 2 times.

 

I find the next statement unbelievable... “The department doesn't keep records of the causes behind such errors.”

 

The VA has an awful problem that is devastating to the Veterans they were created to serve & they do not keep track of the causes that resulted in the problem? Operating in this manner, how can they ever fix the problem?

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Lagniappe #1: If you wanna read all about it, go to:

http://www.inlandnewstoday.com/story.php?s=42370

 

Lagniappe #2: Sign over the Reception Counter at my local VA…

Does this fill you with confidence?

As Forrest Gump Said...Stupid Is Stupid

Another one of those Must Read articles in my newspaper tells me about a man in India who would make Forrest Gump roll over in his grave, even though he never was alive or dead.

Why am I being so bold as to say that a 73 Year Old Indian Man I never met is 3 Beers Short of a 6 Pack? Here is the evidence of his Silly Guinness Book of World Records records. Come to your own conclusions...

Ø For starters he is obsessed with setting records in Guinness Book of World Records.

Ø He has added 366 Tattoos of Flags to his body to get him over the 500 Tattoo record.

Ø All his teeth have been removed so he could put nearly 496 Drinking Straws.

Ø The removal of his teeth also allowed him to put more than 50 Burning Candles in his mouth.

Ø He first got into the Guinness Book of World Records in 1990 when, with 2 friends, rode a Scooter for 1,001 hours.

Ø He once delivered a pizza from New Delhi to San Francisco.

Ø He gulped a bottle of tomato ketchup in less than four minutes.

Ø He is now getting images of global leaders tattooed on his body to add to images of Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi, United States' president Barack Obama, Britain's Queen Elizabeth and Mahatma Gandhi, the leader of India's independence movement.

 

Not to be undone, his 80 year old wife holds a 1991 record for writing the world's shortest will: "All to Son".

 

Even though he has covered himself in all this “glory”, he seems to have turned off his wife. She has said she is definitely against having another baby.

 

There you go again thinking to yourself that I made all this up. You should know by now that I did not make these things up because when I make things up they are hard to believe.

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Facebook Without Facebook

I have a friend who is involved in a local theatre. She gave me this skit from one of her plays.

It’s about Facebook. I did not understand what Facebook was until I read this. It is all very clear now.

 

The Skit:

How many of you are familiar with Facebook? It’s an online social networking service. I think that means it’s supposed to help you make friends.

 

People can put information about themselves and what they are doing online. They can ask others to be their “friends” and they can also follow their “friends’” messages online.

 

For people like me who are not part of the Facebook generation, it’s difficult to understand why people need Facebook.

 

I actually apply the same principles of “social networking” without a computer...

Ø Every day I walk down the street and tell people I pass what I have eaten, how I feel at the moment, what I have done the night before, what I will do later and with whom I will do it.

Ø I give my street friends pictures of my family, my dog and of me gardening, taking things apart in the garage, watering the lawn, standing in front of landmarks, driving around town, having lunch and doing what anybody and everybody does every day.

Ø I also listen to their conversations, give them the “thumbs up” and tell them I like them.

 

It all works just like Facebook!

 

I already have 4 people following me: 2 Police Officers, a Private Investigator and a Psychiatrist.

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

How To Pump Up The Economy Of The Good Ole USofA

The solution about how to create Economic Activity is obvious but no one seems to see it except The Fella.

Holidays! We need more holidays. Every time there is a Holiday the Retailers in the Good Ole USofA have a Holiday Sale (Washington’s Birthday Sale, Memorial Day Sale, Independence Day Sale, Martin Luther King Day Sale, Ground Hog Day Sale, etc.) we rush out to save money & we stimulate the economy.

 

If our 9% Approval Rated Congress would just come back from their Vacation...or is it Recess?...or is it District Work Period? & pass laws that established a Holiday for each & every day of the year, we could then all go out & spend all our money.

 

Just think of how much we would save!

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

The Day Google Crashed

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - A hard-line Republican effort to impeach the top U.S. tax collector came under fire on Tuesday from Democrats who called it an unsubstantiated partisan attack that could undermine the credibility of Congress.

Can spot what caused Google to Overload & Crash?

 

What’s that y’all just said? Not one of you sees it! My dear readers, you disappoint me. I expect so much of you but sometimes you really disappoint me. This is certainly one of those times.

 

It’s the word “credibility”! As soon as that word was thrown out there, every member present for this hotly contested debate pulled out their Smartphone & Googled, “credibility”.

 

That did it. Google could not handle the onslaught.

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

The Polight Part III...It Is Here!

Do I know what I am talking about or what!?

8 years ago (2008 presidential election) I published the first Foolishness about The Polight.

 

4 years ago (2012 presidential election) I refreshed your collective memories by publishing The Polight again.

 

I am now going to publish it again because The Future Is Here! Read The Polight Post again below & then read about why I just said The Future Is Here. (If you make it a practice to read The Polight Post so often that you have it memorized, you can just skip to the bottom & see The Future That Is Here.)

 

The Polight (Part 2)

The word “Polight” is derived from a combination of “Politician” & “Light”.

Almost 4 years ago I posted the first Foolishness...Or Is It? about the Polight. Today I have revised it because of the current Presidential Election.

 

There ought to be a law requiring a red light be surgically implanted on the top of the head of any candidate running for President. The light would function as follow...

Ø  If the candidate were speaking a lie, the light would turn on.

Ø  If the candidate were making a proposal that was physically impossible to actually be implemented, the light would turn on. For Example: “My fellow Americans, today I am proposing that all B52’s that I send to drop nuclear bombs on anyone anywhere have a gear or a gadget or a doohickey installed that will allow the pilot to be able to stop forward flight and reverse direction within 25 feet, just in case I change my mind.”

 

Because of some politician's propensity to lie unceasingly or make statements on subjects about which they have no knowledge, the Polight would have to be rigged so that it would blink every 20 seconds. If this were not the case and the light stayed on all the time, voters might begin to think the Polight was broken. Then where would we be?

 

I can hear you out there saying to yourselves, that this is Foolishness. However, can you picture in your mind’s eye how wonderful it would be if only this Foolish Device really existed?

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

------------------------

Here if The Future I promised above. I found this today on the Internet (that means you know it is true). I’m so excited!

 

Ø There is an app called "moodies" which can already tell in which mood you are.

Ø By 2020 there will be apps that can tell by your facial expressions if you are lying.

Ø Imagine a political debate where the Facial Expressions App is being used to tell the audience when the politicians are telling the truth and when they are not.

 

It’s going to be a (my) Dream Come True!

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Here Today & Gone Tomorrow

We have 2 markers at the entrance to our subdivision.

Actually we no longer have 2 markers at the entrance to our subdivision because one of them was hit by a truck driver & demolished.

 

He was coming to the end of the road leading out of the adjacent subdivision, traveling in a 25 Mile Speed Zone & (as you can see in the last photo) he was fast approaching a Stop Sign at the Highway next to our sub.

 

I walk by that marker often.

 

Now I know why my Mother always told me to wear clean underwear because you never know.

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

 

Lagniappe:

Awards For Everything

Today there seems to be an awards show on TV every time I turn around. I even stopped turning around but that did not stop them from appearing on my TV.

I was going to use the Internet to compile a list of awards shows on TV but decided that I would burn out my computer keyboard trying to type all of them into the list. Here is a link to the search results that started out as “Awards Shows On TV”... http://www.yidio.com/category/awards-show?utm_source=Bing&utm_medium=Search&t_source=64&utm_campaign=472

 

The above link could have been the end of this Foolishness...Or Is It but I went a little further into the search & came up with an award within the ever expanding World of Awards that would certainly have made Ozzie & Harriett blush. (If you don’t know who Ozzie or Harriett were, Google Them!).

 

The Alliance of Women Film Journalists

Has An Award Entitled

“Best Depiction of Nudity, Sexuality, or Seduction”

I doubt that Ozzie & Harriett rolling over in their graves would be enough of a disruption to cause another California Earthquake but, if the word gets out among the Early Days of Television Dead Community in California about this “award”, I think we can expect a 7.6 on the Richter Scale.

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

 

 

How Much Work Is No Work?

It seems there is a Law/Regulation/Or Something Or Other that says that actions taken by a President within 60 Congressional Work Days of leaving office can be Negated/Reversed/Or Some Such Thing by the new President.

The current administration is working very hard to get all they want done outside of this 60 Day Deadline. They are really in a panic!

 

Since you are sly, cunning & alert you are saying to yourself, “Why the panic? The President does not leave office till January 20, 2017. There is lots of time to get done what they want to get done. November 21, 2016 is a long ways away.”

 

Actually there is hardly any time left. The Key Words are “Congressional Work Days”. 60 Congressional Work Days is not November 21, 2016. Because our 9% Approval Rating Congress hardly ever works, 60 Congressional Work Days is tomorrow, May 23, 2016.

 

Are you upset? Are you outraged? Are you about to email your Duly Elected & demand that they get to work?

 

Not me. Can you imagine how much damage they could do if they worked hard?

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

I Claim To Be Really Smart But I’m Really Not

I don’t know everything but I do have you, my dear readers, to fill in the gaps in my knowledge. Please explain this to me.

What I Understand...

In 2011 the Fish & Wildlife Service convinced the Justice Department to file criminal indictments against 3 Oil Companies working in North Dakota’s Bakken Oil Fields for inadvertently killing 6 Ducks & 1 Phoebe.

 

What I Don’t Understand...

Two weeks ago the Fish & Wildlife Service opened public comment on “proposed improvements” to its eagle conservation program. It wants to extend the length of permits for accidental eagle kills from the current five years to 30 years.

 

The changes would allow wind-energy producers to kill or injure as many as 4,200 bald eagles every year. That’s a lot. The agency estimates there are now about 72,434 bald eagles in the continental U.S.

 

A 2013 study in the Wildlife Society Bulletin estimated that wind turbines killed about 888,000 bats and 573,000 birds (including 83,000 raptors) in 2012 alone.

 

That’s a lot of Bats & Birds but it’s worse now (& getting worse each year) because Wind Capacity has since increased by about 24%, and it could triple by 2030.

 

“We don’t really know how many birds are being killed now by wind turbines because the wind industry doesn’t have to report the data,” says Michael Hutchins of the American Bird Conservancy. “It’s considered a trade secret.”

 

America’s top wildlife protector is still bending over backward to accommodate an industry that is killing iconic wildlife while at the same time that industry is collecting huge subsidies from taxpayers.

------------------------

There you have it. I know you can explain this to me. I’m so glad I have you out there to help me understand what I don’t understand.

 

Source: An Ill Wind: Open Season on Bald Eagles by Robert Bryce at the Wall Street Journal May 16, 2016.

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella