Being A Good Winner Is Easy But Being A Sore Loser Is Hard Work

In all the Hullabaloo about how Cam Newton handled himself in the Super Bowl 50 Press Conference, I noticed something he said in the Press Conference that has not been commented on by anyone. I am now going to comment on the Not Commented On...

“It wasn't nothing special that they did”

Sir Isacked Newton has just written Newton’s Nonsensical Law of Football. All of what you are about to read below, according Sir Isacked Newton, equates to Nothing Special...

Ø Super Bowl 50 was 1 of the 3 games this season in which Newton did not throw a Touchdown Pass...Something Special!

Ø Newton had a season low 55.2 Passer Rating...Something Special!

Ø Newton was sacked a season high 6 times...Something Special!

Ø While Newton was sacked 6 times, receiver Ted Ginn, Jr. also was sacked once on an aborted trick play. The 7 sacks matched the most by a team in the Super Bowl...Something Special!

Ø Newton was sacked once in each of the previous 2 playoff games but, as stated above, 6 times in this game...Something Special!

Ø Newton was pressured 21 times a season record against the Panthers...Something Special!

Ø The Broncos seemingly dominated from beginning to end...Something Special!

Ø Newton fumbled twice. One resulted in a touchdown & one led to a touchdown...Something Special!

Ø Both of Newton’s fumbles were Strip Fumbles by the same man, Von Miller...Something Special!

Ø On Von Miller’s first strip of Newton he burst through and didn't even go for the sack. He reached directly for the ball and stripped it from Newton. The ball then rolled to the goal line, where Malik Jackson pounced on it for a 10-0 lead...Something Special!

Ø Von Miller had 6 tackles, 2 1/2 sacks, 2 hurries, 2 forced fumbles and 1 pass defensed...Something Special!

Ø Newton seemed pretty stressed the whole game...Something Special!

Ø Carolina led the league with 500 points but in Super Bowl 50 it was held to its fewest points of the season...Something Special!

Ø Place Kicker McManus kicked 3 Field Goals (he had kicked 5 against Pittsburg in an earlier playoff game)...Something Special!

Ø Bronco’s Jordon Norwood ran back the longest punt return in Super Bowl History...Something Special!

Ø According to Kevin Clark in the Wall Street Journal, “Broncos players and coaches said after the game that the Panthers didn’t do anything Denver hadn’t seen before on game film. But the Broncos did plenty new”...Something Special!

Ø Sometimes a Broncos Rusher (including MVP Von Miller) did something very special by doing nothing. They did not rush Newton. This left a defender in the middle of the field where Newton did not expect there to be a defender. This confused Newton about what he had decided to do before he snapped the ball...Something Special!

Ø Again according to Kevin Clark in the Wall Street Journal, “The game was a 60-minute example of how to stop the dynamic Panthers offense, which led the NFL in scoring this season. How did they do it? A brilliant convergence of game plan, athleticism and defensive discipline that combined to give Newton his worst game at the worst possible time”...Something Special!

Ø Denver Broncos linebacker Danny Trevathan had one career fumble recovery in 56 career games coming into Super Bowl 50. He had two fumble recoveries against the Panthers, the second of which came in the third quarter after Denver safety T.J. Ward intercepted Newton. Ward stumbled as he got to his feet and lost the ball as he was tackled, but Trevathan was able to pounce on it, maintaining possession for Denver at its own 7-yard line...Something Special!

One final point...By saying, “It Wasn’t Nothing Special” Sir Isacked Newton was actually using a Double Negative to say it was Something because if it Wasn’t Nothing it Must Have Been Something.

What a guy! He is even in control of the English Language...Or is he?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

London...Paris...Rome...Des Moines

Have I Become Too Cynical…Or Is It I Can See The Obvious?

Just last week the Candidates were saying the likes of...

• I just love Iowa!
• There are no finer people in the Good Ole USofA than the fine people in the great state of Iowa!
• I just love hogs!
• Ethanol is one of the greatest gifts to come out of the Chemical Industry!
• A Hawkeye has always been my favorite mascot!
• The people of Iowa always make me feel welcome when I come here. As I’ve always said, “Iowans Ames to Please!”
• God bless the great state of Iowa!

Yesterday all candidates taht are still in the race were asked if they enjoyed their time in Iowa. Each of them said some or all of the following...

• Iowa? ... Iowa? ... I’m drawing a blank. Give me a hint. It’s been a long campaign.
• Would you repeat the question?
• There you go again with your Gotcha Questions.
• Just a moment. Let me check my Smartphone Calendar. Ah, yes, I found it. It says I’m scheduled to return to Iowa (wherever that is) on January 27, 2019.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

It Is An Open Secret That The Secret Ballot Is No Secret

It has happened again. I was listening to my radio which is hot to the touch this morning because it won’t stop reporting to me all the important & unimportant information we got out of the Iowa Caucuses & are getting out of the New Hampshire Primary.

Several weeks back I blogged about how the Media attacks anyone who becomes a Front Runner. That Blog Posting was inspired by the brief emergence of Ben Carson as Front Runner. He was certainly made short work of.

Well it’s happing again. This time we have two new poor souls who have dared try & jump up to Front Runner. They are Cruz who was #1 in Iowa & Rubio who was #3 in Iowa.

Rubio rose so fast that the Media has decided to get ahead of the game in case he keeps on keeping on & gets to be #1. It’s called in Media Circles a Preemptive Strike.

The latest hot issue is the Media’s concern that Marko Rubio may have an unseen advantage. Many in the Good Ole USofA are jumping on the Rubio Bandwagon because they still feel badly because our only Irish President was assassinated. They are anxious to vote for another Irish President & they think Marco Rubio is Irish because they think his name is Mark O’Rubio.

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You do remember that I am a Noticer. Here is what I just noticed about what my radio was just shouting at me about. A Talking Head said the following, “We have to go through the voting data & find out why people voted the way they voted”.

How is that possible? It is a Secret Ballot, is it not? We can only know how many voted for this candidate & how many for that candidate but we ought not to be able to know as much detail as the pollsters say they know about the voters.

Two Past Blogs...

Exit Polling

I could understand...

• 55% say they voted for this guy.
• 45% say they voted for that guy.

It is the specific, exacting and minute detail that I don't understand...

• 42% of the white voters, who went to two years of college, who were left-handed carpenters, voted for this guy.
• 63% of fallen-away Catholics, who have been married three times, where the first and third marriages were to the same person, voted for that guy.
• 54% of those who voted in the 1992 election, but did not vote in the 1996, nor the 2000 election, but returned to the voting booth in the 2004, 2008 & 2012 elections, voted for this guy.

Oh well, so much for Secret Balloting.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

My Fondest Wish

There is no way to fully unite a country as large as the United States but my fondest wish would be that all of us refuse to answer any questions from any political pollster about anything political. This would drive the politicians absolutely nuts. Think of the positive results that would come out of an I-Ain't-Gonna-Tell-You-Anything America...

It would prevent politicians from tweaking their latest campaign pitch to address how the public reacted to their prior campaign pitch.

They would be forced to tell us what they really plan to do when elected, instead of telling us what they think we want them to do when elected.

It would drive the politicians absolutely nuts.

They would be forced to think out their positions and stick with them and hope for the best.

It would put every polling company out of business.

It would drive the politicians absolutely nuts.

One final tirade ... The silliest one is when we are told the results of a poll done by a Democratic or a Republican Pollster. It is strange how the "results" always come out favoring their party's positions. I guess I could be made to believe the poll did come out in favor of their party's positions but, you will never get me to believe, that any poll that did not favor their party's positions was just not published at all. It's sort of like them saying, "We are going to keep polling the American People until the American People get it right."

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

No, This Country Is Not Out Of Control, Provided This Country Agrees To All Our Nonsensical, Nonnegotiable & Ever Changing Demands

Last year one of the Good Ole USofA’s Institutions of “Higher Learning” was confronted with a list of Nonnegotiable Demands from their Student Body that had the faculty frantically Googling (in the ole days they would have gone to the library) to try & understand what it was that they must give in to...

The president apologize for the university’s “institutional legacy of white supremacy, colonialism, anti-black racism, anti-Latinx racism, anti-Native American racism, anti-Native/indigenous racism, anti-Asian racism, anti-Middle Eastern racism, heterosexism, cis-sexism, xenophobia, anti-Semitism, ableism, mental health stigma, and classism.”

I tried to Google the above paragraph of demands but, as I got to the fourth one, my Smartphone started to get hot & smoke in my hand.

Also, while I was researching material for this blog posting, a popup popped up (it is interesting how popup keep popping up even though the browser’s popup blocker is on guard to prevent popup from popping up) which presented me with the opportunity to take a course described as...

“The Everyday Self Love Course...Free yourself from toxic self-talk and build a daily practice of self-love.”

I feel like Sergeant Schultz on Hogan’s Heroes when he said, “I know nothing!”

Since every one of my dear readers is smarter than the Smartfella, I know that you completely understand what all of the above means. Next time we get together, please enlighten me. Until then I will continue to wallow in my own ignorance, since my Smartphone has refused to help me.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

What Is Sillier Than Silly … Part 2

In honor of the Iowa Caucuses today I have gone back into my Archives to bring you a Presidential Campaign Silliness from the 2008 Election. Do you think we have progressed past Silly since then. I sure don’t.

We are still mired in nonsense. When your TV is going crazy tonight about Everything Iowa think back to this Blog Posting. Tonight will be Crazy Nuts. It will be all about picking out the Fly Chit from the Pepper. Thank heaven we have the Talking Heads to help us tell the difference.

Some of us own Smart TVs. If you are one of them, I say you ought to get your money back. If your TV were really Smart, it would turn itself off.

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This came from the Associated Press July 8, 2008...

Headline … Pet owners prefer McCain over Obama…
“An AP-Yahoo! News poll found that pet owners favor McCain over Obama 42 percent to 37 percent, with dog owners particularly in McCain's corner.”

Ah come on America! Coverage of our Presidential Elections is many times silly but we have now gone beyond silliness.

Allow me to predict the kind of nonsense we will be subjected to in future elections…

• People with spaces between their teeth are overwhelmingly in What's His Name's corner.
• Is it true that What’s His Name once ate an escargot without removing it from its shell?
• Due to that fact that What's His Name uses Heavy Cream in his coffee is there a danger that, once elected, he will attempt to outlaw Half & Half?

The real bad news is it’s not over when it's over. We in this country are now being subjected to the Unending Presidential Campaign Cycle. You can bet that any day now we will be reading speculation about whom Chelsea Clinton will choose as her running mate and whether that running mate prefers dogs or cats.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Guaranteed To Be Silvact Free

Below is a Blog I sent out 2 years ago. I know you are excited to have the opportunity to read it again (below) but, before you do, I am adding this Gluten Update from Consumer Reports...

Beware Of: Gluten Myths. Unless you are one of just 7% of Americans who have a reaction to gluten, there is no reason to avoid it. In fact, gluten may be good for you, by helping blood pressure and inflammation. Gluten-free doesn’t necessarily mean healthier. Gluten-free foods often have more fat, more sugar and are more expensive than other foods.

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Here Is the Blog from February 2013…

In America today we are worried about lots of things attacking us. One of our new fears has gotten to be one of our biggest fears…

We Are All Afraid Of Gluten

We lie awake at night hoping that the Gluten that is already in us will not clog something up, make our hearts attack us, stop something from functioning properly or start something like pimples functioning that ought to be lying dormant.

Millions of Americans are now feeling comfortable with themselves because they are on a Gluten Free Diet.

However, research has shown that 87.4% of Americans are on a Gluten free Diet & 72.7% of that 87.4% do not know what Gluten is.

I wonder how much frenzy could be created if someone with a morbid sense of humor made up a mysterious word that sounded like something Americans ought to be worried about and spread fear about all the evils it can do to the human body.

This type of Information Dissemination is one of the “benefits” of the Internet

A word like Silvact ought to do the trick. Who in the heck wants to get all clogged up with Silvact?

Actually it would not be a lie to advertise that your product is Silvact Free because your product is Silvact Free because there is no such thing as Silvact.

Back To Gluten...

The real shock to Glutenless Americans is going to be when National Enquirer reveals that “Gluten Free” does not mean there is no Gluten in there. It only means they just do not charge you for the Gluten that is in there.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

The Passing Of A Legend

Every time I pass through a checkout line in any darn near any kind of store I see on the Impulse Purchase Rack a huge glamorous picture of Oprah emblazoned on the cover of Oprah Magazine.

I’m sorry to say that the Oprah Federation of All Things Having To Do With Anything & Everything About Oprah has just announced that Oprah Magazine will terminate publication immediately.

They have run out of pictures of The Oprah for the cover.

It’s a sad day indeed.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Is anybody listening to me?

U.S. Sen. Johnny Isakson announced recently that he is pursuing legislation that will stop the Internal Revenue Service from rehiring employees that it previously fired for poor performance and bad conduct.

Isakson is a co-sponsor on the Ensuring Integrity in the IRS Workforce Act of 2016. His office said the legislation is a response to a recent report that accused the IRS of frequently rehiring employees it had previously fired, including ones whose personnel file was marked “Do Not Rehire”.

The Fella first became aware of this silliness in April of last year. Now, in January of 2016, Congress is still poking holes in the air with their fingers about this silly practice because the IRS continues to say, “What problem?”

Here is the link to my April 20, 2015 Foolishness...Or Is It? Posting...

http://forii.blogspot.com/2015/04/getting-good-employees-is-easy-all-you.html

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

That Idea Is So Stupid We Just Have To Do It Again!

Once upon a time the Good Ole USofA (actually it was our 9% pproval Rated Congress) decided all breathing Americans “deserved” to have a Home of Their Own, regardless of whether or not they could afford to pay for a Home of Their Own.

The end result was the Financial Crisis of 2008 which led to The Great Recession of 2008. The passing of time has proven we are truly stupid because we are setting ourselves up for what could turn out to be The Great Recession-Part 2.

Why is it we think, if we change the terms we use to describe Silly, it is no longer Silliness?

If we decided that the word “Murder” had too negative a connotation & we changed the Act of Murdering to the Act of Flower Sniffing is the dead person not still dead?

Community Reinvestment Act was a Federal Law passed to “encourage” commercial banks and saving associations to help meet the needs of borrowers in all segments of their communities. Congress passed the Act in 1977 to reduce discriminatory credit practices against low-income neighborhoods, a practice known as Redlining.

The term "Redlining" was coined in the late 1960s by John McKnight, a sociologist and community activist. It refers to the practice of marking a red line on a map to delineate the area where banks would not invest; later the term was applied to discrimination against a particular group of people (usually by race or sex) irrespective of geography.

I certainly agree that it ought to be against the law to deny a mortgage to a person who has worked hard, saved money & accumulated the financial where-with-all to afford to buy a particular house simply because that hard working, money saving & financially sound person is a minority or is of a certain race or is of a certain sex.

I would, however, contend that it is the height of foolishness to give a mortgage to a person who has demonstrated that he cannot afford to pay for that mortgage. This is not helping the going-to-default-for-sure person. This is actually doing a disservice to that person. I am not swayed in this belief by an apologist who says, after the bankruptcy, “Yea but he really enjoyed living in that nice house for 14 months before he went bankrupt”.

Changing Things For The Sake Of Changing Things...

• The Community Reinvestment Act has evolved into the HomeReady Program.
• “Subprime” is a word that we all know to be a bad thing (actually most of us only know it is a bad thing but do not know what it means). The Word Changing Department of the Federal Government is changing “Subprime” to “Alternative” Mortgages.

Changing Things In Order To Trick the Folks Back Home (that’s us) Into Thinking That Congress Is Really Doing Something That Is Not Silly...

• Community Reinvestment was directed at Minorities but HomeReady (aks: DefaultReady) is going to be directed at High-Risk Immigrants.
• In order to qualify for the mortgage, instead of counting only the income of the person who is signing on the mortgage the HomeReady Program counts the incomes of all persons living in the house (non-borrowers).
• The Fella wonders if there is going to be an expansion of this law that prevents the non-borrowers from moving out of the house until the mortgage is paid off.
• To add stupidity to crazy, it is also going to be permissible to count the income of people not living in the house, like the borrower’s parents.
• What mental midget up in D.C. really thinks that non-borrowers are legally required to pay or will pay anything toward the mortgage?

What me worry?

Fannie Mae & Freddie Mac are not going to pay when this all comes tumbling down. They benefited from the Community Reinvestment Act & they are now pushing the HomeReady Program...

CNNMoney reported in 2011, "Mortgage finance giants Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac received the biggest federal bailout of the financial crisis. And nearly $100 million of those tax dollars went to lucrative pay packages for top executives, filings show."

Wasn’t this the type on silliness that led to the last housing market collapse? Could it happen again? Sure it could. Do politicians care? It doesn't appear so.

Would politicians kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: Much of the research for this posting was done by Cal Thomas... http://thecitizen.com/opinion-columnists/too-big-fail-sequel

When Push Comes To Shove In The House Of Representatives

The new Speaker of the House has his House upset at him. He is trying to get the members to pay attention to what is going on in the House. It has become apparent that these Dedicated Long Serving Public Servants are pushing back.

Many have started calling him (behind his back) “Pushy” after he delivered a memo to the House entitled, “Enough with the lollygagging”.

One of the most often spoken words in the House for some time now has been “Sanctions”. Putting Sanctions on Iran is something that will certainly get their attention...Or will it?

The Speaker last week started nudging the chamber to get a bit more efficient when voting. His message must not have sunk in, because so many lawmakers missed the vote on the high-profile Iran Sanctions Legislation that the voting ended up being scrapped because of lack of interest & had to be rescheduled for later this month.

I got into my car & drove to Washington, D.C. a few days ago to see this situation played out for myself. Yes I get in my car & drive up to Washington a lot. Actually my car has started to rebel against these frequent trips. As I neared Washington on this trip a message popped up on my GPS Screen that said, “Why don’t you just move to D.C.? It would be a lot easier on me!”

I talked to many members of the House who were really upset with Pushy Ryan...

Ø Representative Leghorn was very open with his opposition to what the Speaker is trying to do. He told me that when Ryan first arrived in Congress he had gone out of his way to take him under his wing. On several occasions he took Ryan with him on Coffee Breaks & showed him how to turn a 20 minute Coffee Break into a 75 minute discussion about Football.

Ø Representative Whiplash told me how he tried to educate Ryan about how long one could sit absolutely still at his desk before cobwebs started to form between his arms & his upper body.

Ø Representative Swindle told me how he had once hoped that Ryan might have what it took to break his long-standing record of missing more votes than anyone else in the House but Ryan disappointed him by not showing any interest in going after this milestone.

Representative Igotmine (has been in up there so long that he can’t remember which State originally sent him to Congress) was not bothered in the least by what the new Speaker was trying to do. He said he intended to be present on the floor of the House whenever Pushy directed he should be there because he has developed the ability to sit at his desk with his eyes wide open while being sound asleep. He seemed particularly proud as he explained to me how he had even developed the sleep mannerism where he periodically scratched his nose while still being in Deep REM Sleep.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Taxation Without Representation Was Worth Fighting A Revolutionary War Over. Taxation With Representation Is A Wonderful Thing...Or Is It?

I could have modified the above Subject & written it this way...

Taxation With Representation Is A Wonderful Thing Because It Is So Easy To Understand...Or is it?

The Powerball Lottery is upon us again. Today there are a whole bunch of people in the Good Ole USofA saying to themselves...

“I’m sure glad I did not bother going to High School or College because I’m about to be rich & I did not have to bother doing all that studying stuff. I always thought that was a big waste of time & my winning this lottery is going to prove me right!”

I’m going to list for you all the problems you will face if you win the Powerball Lottery. I will do it in Bullet Format because it will be easier to understand...Or will it be?

Don’t think that this Billion Dollar Jackpot is a rare occurrence. Well it has been but it’s not going to be. The people who run the lottery recently changed how it works to prevent winning as often as in the past. This was done so that it will grow big as this one has done. This way more people will become infatuated, become greedy, become interested, etc. & more money will come rolling in.

You do not have to read each bullet to get the flavor of the chaos that will engulf you if you win. Just skim through the bullets. Actually, reading & trying to understand each bullet, is guaranteed to give you a headache.

My source for all of this confusion below...

http://www.msn.com/en-us/money/taxes/taxes-on-a-dollar14-billion-powerball-jackpot-could-be-dollar400-million/ar-CCoHkj?ocid=spartandhp

© Mike Kemp/Getty Images

The next Powerball drawing is worth an estimated $1.4 billion (it may be even higher by the time you read this), and the odds are good that there will be a winner this time.

If there’s only one winner, we will have a new member of the Billionaire Club. Right? Wrong, because your friendly tax collectors are silent partners in the deal.

Here’s the story on all the tax hits on a huge payout.

Annuity Versus Cash Option

· The Jan. 13 Powerball drawing is a whopping $1.4 billion.

· That number is based on the winner taking his or her money in the form of a 29-year annuity.

· You get the first payment right away, and then one annual payment for the next 29 years.

· On the other hand, if you choose the cash option, you get all the money right away, but you get less.

· The projected cash-option jackpot is “only” $868 million.

· What’s the biggest reason to choose one option or the other?

· You guessed it: Taxes.

· If you choose the annuity option and then die before collecting all your rightful proceeds (a distinct possibility if you are not a youngster), the present value of the remaining payments will be included in your taxable estate for federal estate tax purposes.

· The first $5.45 million (indexed for inflation in future years) will be sheltered by your federal estate tax exemption.

· Anything in excess of that amount will be taxed at a 40% rate.

· Depending on where you live, there may be a state death tax hit, too.

· Your heirs would have to figure out how to pay the tax hit(s) on money they have not yet received.

· I’m sure there are ways to borrow what’s needed to pay death taxes, but I doubt those ways are cheap.

· So if you’re not a healthy millennial, the cash option could be the better choice.

· If you’re a youngster in robust good health, and choose the annuity option — but you live in a high-tax state like New York, Massachusetts, Minnesota, or Oregon (oddly enough, California does not tax lottery winnings) — can you move to Florida or Nevada or Texas, which have no personal income taxes, and thereby avoid any state income tax hit on your future lottery annuity payments?

· It depends on the laws of the state where you currently reside.

· This is a question to be researched by your newly hired tax professional (more on that later).

Federal Income Tax

· Lottery jackpots are fully taxable.

· Big jackpots are taxed at the maximum federal rate of 39.6%.

· On an $868 million cash payout, the federal income tax hit would be about $344 million.

· Federal income tax will automatically be withheld from your prize, but only at a 25% rate.

· So on an $868 million payout; you would still owe the federal government almost $127 million.

· You have the same underpaid tax issue if you receive big lottery annuity payments, but the underpaid amount for each year is much smaller.

· In any case, failure to recognize that additional tax is still owed on lottery winnings is one big reason why some winners wind up in bankruptcy court a few years later.

State & Local Income Tax

· Here’s what could happen if a big lottery winner is “unlucky” enough to live in a state with a personal income tax.

· In most states, the tax rates on high-income individuals range from 5% to 10%.

· If the rate is 7%, the winner of an $868 million cash payout will owe the friendly state tax collector about $61 million.

· If you live in New York City, you face an 8.82% state income tax rate plus another 3.876% for city income tax.

· The state income tax rate in Massachusetts is an oppressive 12%.

· The 11% rate in Hawaii is no bargain.

· Depending on where you live, automatic withholding of state and local income taxes may or may not occur.

· This is another big reason why some lottery winners wind up bankrupt is failure to plan ahead for these tax hits.

Federal Gift Tax

· Despite having already lost many millions to the Feds (and maybe to your friendly state and city tax collectors, too), your tax situation can quickly deteriorate even further if you share your newfound wealth generously with friends and loved ones.

· That’s because you’ll owe the 40% federal gift tax after you’ve given away more than the $5.45 million federal gift tax exemption (adjusted for inflation in future years).

· If you give away $25 million to siblings, children, parents, aunts, uncles, and friends, the gift tax bill would be about $7.8 million.

· Don’t give away anything until you’ve talked to your newly hired tax pro.

Death Taxes

· Let’s assume that you don’t give away any of your $868 million cash jackpot.

· You just pay your $344 million tax bill to the Feds and your $61 million state tax bill.

· You then have $463 million left ($868 million - $344 million – $61 million).

· That should be more than enough to at least last for the rest of your life.

· However, if you massively overindulge and die of a heart attack later this year, your estate will owe a $183 million federal estate tax bill [40% x ($463 million – the $5.45 million exemption)].

· Of the $868 million you started off with, $280 million is left.

· That means almost 68% has been lost to taxes.

· If your state income tax rate is higher than 7% or if your state charges a death tax, it could be even worse.

The Bottom Line

If you’re lucky enough to become a really big lottery winner, the next day after you win, please take my advice...

· Hire a super-competent tax pro.

· Hire a super-competent attorney.

· Hire a super-competent financial adviser.

Then don’t do anything with your money until you’ve talked to all three. That way, your big jackpot will be a blessing instead of a curse...Or will it be?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

One More Time...What Was It I Did That Was So Bad?

Years ago I latched onto a Charge that had been filed against a Vandal for spray painting a column on our local City Hall.

Did your logical mind just race ahead & say to you, “That’s Vandalism!” If so, your Racing Mind just proved that it is stuck in the Logical Past.

In Modern America, the Vandal is not a Vandal anymore. This Vandal’s crime was that he was an Interferer because he was actually charged with “Interfering with Government Property”.

This charge makes one think that the Column wanted to move around to the other side of City Hall to get out of the sun & the Interferer got in its way & prevented it from moving where it longed to go.

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All of the above is a lead-in to today’s silliness. My newspaper tells me that one of the officers who is charged with the death of Freddie Gray in Baltimore is charged with “Second-Degree Depraved-Heart Murder” which carries a maximum sentence of 30 years in prison.

Making the assumption that the officer is found guilty of “Second-Degree Depraved-Heart Murder”, one almost has to feel sorry for the officer. Try & get your mind’s eye (whatever that is) to picture this scene...

The “Second-Degree Depraved-Heart Murder” Found Guilty & Incarcerated Officer is in year 27 of his 30 year sentence. He is sitting across from his attorney talking through that little hole in that bullet-proof glass in the prison’s visiting room & as he says to his attorney, “You know how I hate to be repetitious & I know I have asked this question 317 times before but can you please explain to me one more time what Second-Degree Depraved-Heart Murder is?”

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Am I Being Too Picky...Again?

On December 7, 2015 Homeland Security Secretary Jeh Johnson announced he was changing the National Terrorism Warning System.

I have faith that these people in Homeland Security know what they are doing...Or do I?...Or do they?

In my reading of an article about the new National Terrorism Warning System there were two parts that caught my picky eye.

Me Being Picky, Part 1:

Jeh Johnson said the changes to the system allow Homeland Security to post a bulletin that does not depend on a Specific Credible Threat.

Huh?

For years now, whenever we are being warned about a Terrorist Threat, being assured about a Terrorist Threat not really being a Terrorist Threat or lied to about a Terrorist Threat the phrase “Credible Threat” is replete throughout the Warning, the Assurance or the Lie. We expect to see the phrase “Credible Threat” to know for certain that we need to be worried.

Actually “Credible Threat” it is being used so often that is approaching the gargantuan volumes of some of our nightly news all time great Catch Phrases like...

Ø “Boots on the Ground”

Ø “Bipartisan”

Ø “Transparency”

Ø “My Good Friend” (used constantly in the Senate as a substitute for “That Complete Idiot Across the Aisle”).

My thinking is, if we are not going to depend on the use of the phrase “Credible Threat” to start worrying, what are going to depend on?

Ø Are we going to jump under the table because of Not-Credible Rumors?

Ø Are going to go back to making plans to move to New Zealand because Jeh Johnson’s barber, who was high on cocaine during Jeh’s last haircut, whispered in Jeh’s ear that his brother-in-law told him about his wild guess about a terrorist attack coming on Thursday?

Ø Are we going to despair because the New York Times took a survey of Mulberry Creek’s Fourth Grade Class during recess?

Me Being Picky, Part 2:

The Alert issued on Wednesday under the new system, which expires on 16 June, reads: “We are in a new phase in the global threat environment, which has implications on the homeland”.

My thinking is, what the heck does “Implications on the Homeland” even mean?

My confusion continues... “Expires June 16, 2016”. Why June 16? Have the Terrorists told us that June 16 is the start of their Vacation Season, so we can stop worrying for awhile?

If that’s true, I hope they will have the common decency to tell us when their Vacation Season comes to an end, so we can crank up another warning to worry about.

If it all makes sense to you, email me & tell me it makes sense to you & I will personally pay to have your head examined.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Old Guy Tries To Help Out The Young Guy & The Young Guy’s Response

The Old Guy Has Been Around For A Long Time & Knows Quite A Few Things

The Old Guy uses a quote from The Noticer (yea, there is another Noticer out there) to make a potentially life changing point to the Young Guy...

“Remember, young man, experience is not the best teacher. Other people's experience is the best teacher. By reading about the lives of great people, you can unlock the secrets to what made them great.”
― Andy Andrews, The Noticer: Sometimes, All a Person Needs Is a Little Perspective

The Young Guy Has Been Around For Only A Short Time & Knows Everything

The Young Guy (aka: The Dude) says to the Old Guy, “I don’t have time to do that. I’ve got a busy schedule today. I’ve got to hang out with my friends, catch up on my tweeting & take a lot of selfies. I take a lot of selfies every day.”

The Old Guy says to the Young Guy, “Is that really important?”

The Young Guy says to the Old Guy, “You bet, ya. These things are very important!”

The Old Guy thinks to himself, “That’s the problem. He really believes those things are important.”

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Happy Birthday To Who?

Here I go again reminding you that I am a Noticer. I notice things that other non-noticing people do not notice. I know each of my dear readers is happy that I notice what I notice...Or are they?

My iPhone gives me access to over 1,500 Emoticons. I actually tried to count them but had to finally decide that a 1,500+ guess was the best I could do.

In looking through my 1,500+ Emoticons I saw that there was one of everything for anything...Or was there?

What I could not find was anything having to do with Christmas. (It must have something to do with Separation of Church & Smiley Faces.) There used to be a little Christmas Tree, but not anymore. I know some of you consider this progress but Old Fashioned Fella does not.

I was out & about in my car a couple of nights ago when I started thinking about creating this Blog Posting & I began looking at Holiday Decorations (formerly known as Christmas Decorations) as I drove along. Based on what I saw, I got to wondering about whose birthday we were celebrating. Was it...

Ø Frosty the Snowman?

Ø Charlie Brown?

Ø Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer?

Ø A Bunch of Nutcrackers?

Ø The Candy Cane?

Ø The Grinch?

To me it looked like Rudolph was the clear winner. Frosty was a strong but distant second. It is only a matter of time before we are going to be frantically scurrying around buying presents & greeting everyone we see with, “Merry Rudolphmas”.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Christmas Silliness

Congress ought to pass a law that says it's against the law to run Commercials and TV Shows every year about the absolutely awful time American Families have with awful relatives who visit with them for the holidays.

Usually there is an Uncle Jake &/or an Aunt Hazel that are the culprits. They have different names but they ruin everything for the rest of the relatives. Everyone dreads them coming & they come every year.

I think that such families are the exception & not the rule. However, by running so many such Commercials & TV Shows the producers make such families seem like the rule.

One thing I know for sure is my family does not have this problem. We don’t have a single Uncle Jake, Aunt Hazel or any such person by any other name. We are always glad to see each other & we enjoy being around each other.

If the depictions of these Commercials and TV Shows are actually true, I feel sorry for the families that experience such Christmas Silliness.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: Merry Christmas

When The Fella Sees Something...The Fella Says Something

I have just eaten my lunch. The whole time I was eating my lunch I was watching a TV screen full of Los Angeles Unified School District, Los Angeles City Officials, State of California Officials and Los Angeles County Officials standing behind a podium that was occupied in turn by one of them as they said what they had to say about the Closing of the Los Angeles Unified School District’s Schools today.

Each one of them was saying the same thing as the one before them had said and the one after them was going to say.

So far you are thinking I am being critical for over-reaction or repetition or loitering behind the podium but I am not. What I am blogging about is an important issue I saw on my TV and, as usual, I do not just poke holes in the air with my finger but I am here to propose a Fix.

The Issue/Problem:

• It appears that the Chief Official for every one of these entities were on my TV screen.
• By having to appear to speak and stand in support of others who are speaking they are not doing their jobs!
• Should they not be out chasing the bad guys?
• Should they not be at, the very least, tweeting words of encouragement in support of their people who are out chasing the bad guys?
• The Bottom Line: They can’t do their jobs because they are required to be at this podium telling us how they are doing their jobs and how much they care about us and how much they feel our pain.

The Fella Fix:

• In times like these there ought to be a Federal Bunch of Official Distinguished and Responsible Looking People ready to be flown to any such happening to stand in for the real Official Distinguished and Responsible Looking People who are out doing their jobs.
• This At The Ready Stand-In Team would be there to give us Folks Back Home confidence that everything is being done by the real Official Distinguished and Responsible Looking People and how much the real Official Distinguished and Responsible Looking People care about us and how much they feel our pain.
• If they want the Fella to help, I will be glad to go to Dollar Tree and buy them a bunch of Stars for their use on their hats, collars and upper lets (Yea, there were a whole bunch of stars on all of them.)

The Fella’s Sad Closing: We are told that these Officials are the ones in charge of the Los Angeles Unified School District, the Los Angeles Police Department, the State Police Department, the Mayor’s Office, etc. Actually they are not in charge. I’m sorry to say that it appears that the Terrorist, in cahoots with Alexander Graham Bell, are calling the shots.

Can a single phone call cause all this?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Sudden Death & Other Bad Things

Every day I am amazed at all these Prescription Drug Commercials on Television. What’s that you say? You say you have not seen one of these commercials in the last few minutes. Let me say this about that, “Wait another minute”.

What am I amazed about? It is simple. I am amazed that products can be sold to the American Public by running commercials where 80% of the contained information imparted is made up of Warnings about the Dire Consequence of what could happen to you if you took the Advertised Drug, including Sudden Death.

The whole scenario just does not make sense but, actually the Pharmaceutical Companies are making lots of Cents by running these commercials (millions of dollars).

I’ve often told you about my Potted Plant outfit which allows me to gather information for Foolishness...Or Is It?. Another arrow in my quiver is my Fly on the Wall Outfit. I used this outfit to get into a Board of Directors Meeting of a major pharmaceutical company last week & what I heard confirmed my ongoing confusion & general lack of comprehension as to why their sales pitches work.

Here is what I heard...

• A board member: Mr. Chairman, are we ready to launch our latest Wonder Drug Zxyjrza? (Have you ever noticed how often these drugs have J or X or Y or Z in their name?) 
•  Chairman: Before I answer that question of yours, Ed, how many times have I told you that it is against Federal Law to address me as “Chairman”? You know darn good & well that my title is “Chairperson”. 
•  Chairperson: That having been said, the launch delay is that our launch commercial team is stuck at 50% Bad Effects on the huperson body. We all know that we will not get the attention of the American Drug Buying Public if we launch a commercial that is not at least 80% chock full of Dire Catastrophic Warnings. 
•  Chairperson: If we launch with less than 80% God Awful Devastating Content, we would be forced to talk about the benefits of taking this drug. You all are well aware that we have many highly successful drugs on the market for years that we have yet to come up with any good reason why they ought to be taken. 
•  Chairperson: We know from past experience that, if we don’t put at least 80% Catastrophic Content in our commercials, the American Buying Public will pay no attention to us & we all are well aware of what that can do to our bonuses.

Ever wonder why these drugs are called Wonder Drugs? That’s because, after they tell you all the bad things that can happen to you by taking them, it is a Wonder that anyone actually dares to take them.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

The “Must Read” Requirement...Again

Years ago I took note of my local newspaper’s ongoing practice of labeling certain articles with a white on gray box that reads, “Must Read”.

I played around with this concept in two blog postings... http://forii.blogspot.com/search?q=Must+Read.

I had fun with it & I know those of you who read them had fun also...Or did u?

Today’s “Must Read” has the headline...

Scientists develop algorithm to make computers to think like people

I will finish this Posting with a Fella Assignment & a Simple Question...

Assignment:

• Go read the news in your morning newspaper or the news section of the Internet for 5 minutes.
• That ought to be long enough to come to a full realization of How People Think.

Simple Question:

• Do you still think it is a good idea for computers to Think Like People?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella