Oh My Gosh! My County Rulers Are Reading My Blog!

On August 9, 2015 I published a Blog Posting entitled, “My Visit To My Local County Park”. It appears that the good people who rule my county may have read my Blog Posting.

Here is what I posted...

Second Example... Scummy Dangerous Fenced Pond

During my park walks I pass right by a pond. It has a fence around it to prevent our park children from wandering into the Scummy Dangerous Fenced Pond.

 

County law says that there ought to be a fence around the pond & there must be a Lock & Chain on the gate into the dangerous pond…

 

This law also is not specific enough. As you can see county workers have placed a strong lock & chain on the gate to the dangerous pond but the lock & chain are not locked. They are just hanging there.

 

Here is the addendum that should have been added by the sloppy law writers... “Once the Strong Chain & Padlock Have Been Placed on the Gate to the Dangerous Pond, the Padlock & Chain Should Be Used to Lock the Gate In Order To Keep Our Park Children from Drowning in the Dangerous Pond”.

 

Yesterday as I walked past the Dangerous Pond, I was surprised & pleased to see that the County has taken action...

 

I did such a good job putting the Fear of Social Media in them that they, not only locked the gate, but they put 3 locks on it.

 

I guess this could all be a coincidence & they could have been headed toward the gate with the securing mechanism as I pecked out my hit piece.

 

I’ll know for sure when I get my next property tax assessment. If there is a large increase in my taxes, I’ll know for certain they are reading Foolishness...Or Is It?.

 

If I have to pay more taxes, I will have no regrets. It’s the White Knight in me. When I see a wrong, I try & right it. I gotta do what I gotta do.

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Keeping You Informed

On February 4, 2008 I informed all of you who are smart enough to read my Foolishness about the conditions in Liberia, Africa.

Here is the entire blog posting...

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Raising Children Again

I wish I were just starting out raising my children ... You just said to yourself, "Self, is he nuts"? Allow me to explain.

If we were just beginning to have children I now have a fool-proof way of getting my children to eat their vegetables. I would look each of them into their tear-filled eyes and threaten to send them to live the rest of their lives in Liberia.

The quote below comes from the Atlanta Journal Constitution on 2/22/08. Notice the use of the words "overrun", "pervasive", "half", "not", "uninhabitable", "little" & "no". After you finish using these words there is not much left to lament...

"The country is overrun with weapons, malnutrition is pervasive, half of children are not in school, and many buildings are uninhabitable. There is little running water or electricity and no sewage or landline phone system."

The Liberian Tourist Bureau is left with something like...
"Come join us in Liberia. Is it is a terrible place to live but you don't live long."

Would I kid u?

 

Here is an article that will bring you up to date on the conditions in Liberia as of August 26, 2013: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-23843578

Here is the gist of the news article (first 3 paragraphs) in case you decided not to click on the link above:

“Liberia's education minister says she finds it hard to believe that not a single candidate passed this year's university admission exam.

Nearly 25,000 school-leavers failed the test for admission to the University of Liberia, one of two state-run universities.

The students lacked enthusiasm and did not have a basic grasp of English, a university official told the BBC.”

I always try to help out my dear readers. In case you or your offspring are having trouble getting into college, here is a link to the University of Liberia’s Web Site. The above information makes it appear they have openings in their Freshman Class...

http://www.universityliberia.org/

On Final Point: The article says Liberia has not gotten over the effects of their Civil War that ended a decade ago. The Smartfella believes that the Government’s Department of Getting Over Things ought to crank it up a bit.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

The Smartfella Is Now Famous...Or Is He?

In October ‘14 I sent information about my little-read book into my College Alumni Magazine for possible insertion into their section devoted to Alumni Authors.

I then forgot that I had done what I just said I had done in the above paragraph.

Gadzooks! My forgotten submission has been inserted!...

Please be advised that I have now gone from being a little-known author who sold a few books to an author that a little more than a few have heard about who sold a little more than a few books.

 

I am so pleased with myself!

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

You Are Trying Your Best To Fool The Court But Don’t For A Second Think You Can Fool The Federal Government

According to my newspaper...

“For young people trying to get a foot on the career ladder, internships offer valuable experience.”

“But lawsuits are mounting that claim the often unpaid positions violate U.S. labor laws, prompting experts to call for changes.”

“In March, media and entertainment company Viacom Inc. agreed to pay $7.2 million to end a class action lawsuit by former interns.”

The Smartfella is trying hard to understand this development. It looks to him that... A person needing experience in a particular field agrees to work as an Unpaid Intern in order to gain experience in that particular field. After working as an Unpaid Intern the, now Ex-Unpaid Intern, sues because his former Unpaid Intern Position was Unpaid.

Enter the U. S. Department of Labor to clarify this confusion. The Department executes its clarification responsibilities flawlessly by stipulating this flawless stipulation, “The work must be educational, beneficial and supervised and that the employer derives no advantage from it.”

This is very helpful & the Department of Labor is to be commended but the Fella has a problem with, “the employer derives no advantage from it”.

This means that the business must go to all the trouble of Educating the Unpaid Intern & Benefiting the Unpaid Intern & Supervising the Unpaid Intern but, after all that is done, There Is To Be No Benefit Derived to the Business.

Planning ahead, in order to prevent finding themselves back in court defending themselves against charges as to whether or not they did Derive Benefit, businesses ought to become pro-active & hire Cubicle Chaos Creator Interns who would go into cubicles during bathroom breaks & do things like... break pencil points, disassemble ball point pens & hiding their several parts in several trash cans throughout the workplace, empting desk drawers into other desk drawers, etc.

No lawyer could possibly argue in court that the Business Derived Benefit from such activities... Or could they?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: Once the Cubicle Chaos Creator has been created will his creativity naturally evolve into?...

I hope not.

Earth Day 1970 Predictions

Here are some of the predictions made on Earth Day 1970...

Ø “Civilization will end within 15 or 30 years unless immediate action is taken against problems facing mankind.” George Wald, Harvard Biologist.

Ø “Population will inevitably and completely outstrip whatever small increases in food supplies we make. The death rate will increase until at least 100-200 million people per year will be starving to death during the next ten years.”
• Paul Ehrlich, Stanford University biologist

Ø  “Demographers agree almost unanimously on the following grim timetable: by 1975 widespread famines will begin in India; these will spread by 1990 to include all of India, Pakistan, China and the Near East, Africa. By the year 2000, or conceivably sooner, South and Central America will exist under famine conditions….By the year 2000, thirty years from now, the entire world, with the exception of Western Europe, North America, and Australia, will be in famine.”
• Peter Gunter, professor, North Texas State University

Ø “Scientists have solid experimental and theoretical evidence to support…the following predictions: In a decade, urban dwellers will have to wear gas masks to survive air pollution…by 1985 air pollution will have reduced the amount of sunlight reaching earth by one half….”
• Life Magazine, January 1970

Ø  “Dr. S. Dillon Ripley, secretary of the Smithsonian Institute, believes that in 25 years, somewhere between 75 and 80 percent of all the species of living animals will be extinct.”
• Sen. Gaylord Nelson

Ø “The world has been chilling sharply for about twenty years. If present trends continue, the world will be about four degrees colder for the global mean temperature in 1990, but eleven degrees colder in the year 2000. This is about twice what it would take to put us into an ice age.”
• Kenneth Watt, Ecologist

Wisdom from the Fella... Despite all of the above, I am still a strong supporter of Earth Day because it is the only planet known to have Cannoli.

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: Continuing Your Education... Until I did research for this Foolishness I thought “Cannoli” was singular & I never gave a second thought as to what the plural was. “Cannolo” is the singular & “Cannoli” is the plural. This tidbit of info makes the last sentence of the blog above grammatically correct.

Beware Of Greeks Bearing Confusion

The world has been very hard on Greece recently for its Financial Crisis. It seems like everyone knew how to fix it except the person who was proposing how to fix it.

An agreement was recently reached to resolve the Financial Crisis...again. We all wish the Greeks luck but they may need more than luck.

The Smartfella, in my capacity as advisor to the world, am of the opinion that a major reason why the Greeks have been having so much difficulty resolving this seemingly never ending crisis is the confusion that is engrained in the very fabric of their society because of the names that they have chosen to call themselves.

Here is a sampling of everyday Greek names, Papageorgiou, Mavromoustafakis, Papadopoulos, Georgiades, Petropoulos, Sotiropoulos, Georgiadis, Panagopoulos, Stavropoulos, Georgopoulos, Stathopoulos & Gianopoulos.

I don’t want to be contentious but I contend it is not possible to read through the above name list & not become confused. You find yourself confused & you are just reading a silly blog posting. The poor Greeks are faced with this verbal assault every day!

It could be worse. In his comedy Assemblywomen (c. 392 BC) Aristophanes coined the 173-letter word λοπαδο­τεμαχο­σελαχο­γαλεο­κρανιο­λειψανο­δριμ­υπο­τριμματο­σιλφιο­καραβο­μελιτο­κατακεχυ­μενο­κιχλ­επι­κοσσυφο­φαττο­περιστερ­αλεκτρυον­οπτο­κεφαλλιο­κιγκλο­πελειο­λαγῳο­σιραιο­βαφη­τραγανο­πτερύγων.

This was a fictional food dish consisting of a combination of fish, poultry and other meat. It is cited as the longest ancient Greek word ever written.

Another comedy writer of some note, Shakespeare, just entered my blogging room looked over my shoulder & asked a very pertinent question, “Would λοπαδο­τεμαχο­σελαχο­γαλεο­κρανιο­λειψανο­δριμ­υπο­τριμματο­σιλφιο­καραβο­μελιτο­κατακεχυ­μενο­κιχλ­επι­κοσσυφο­φαττο­περιστερ­αλεκτρυον­οπτο­κεφαλλιο­κιγκλο­πελειο­λαγῳο­σιραιο­βαφη­τραγανο­πτερύγων by any other name taste as sweet?”

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Major Mischief!

My newspaper has hit the proverbial nail on its proverbial head!

For decades now Iran has been supplying its evil minions in the Middle East with the materials & finances to blow up Iraqi Soldiers, American Soldiers, Iraqi Civilian Men, Iraqi Civilian Women, Outdoor Public Markets, Mosques, Wedding Receptions, Schools, Police In & Out Of Their Stations, etc.

Now my newspaper has expressed a new concern of Middle Eastern leaders...

They fear their arch-rival Iran is on the verge of making Major Mischief in the region.

Oh my gosh! This is awful! Not Major Mischief!

This can only mean that all those people harmed in the past must have been harmed by Minor Mischief.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

No Trash On The Streets Of The Good Ole USofA

With all the people that have been given Community Service Sentences in recent years, there should not be any trash on the streets of the Good Ole USofA.

I just read where a woman was given 240 hours of Community Service for cutting off Rottweiler’s tails without the State’s or the Rottweilers’ permission.

Every few days we hear about some Celebrity being given a Community Service Sentence. I have never seen a single Celebrity on TV performing their Community Service.

You know darn well that photographers would be following them around while they were out & about serving their fellow man, if they were out there serving their fellow man. Lord knows they follow them whenever they do everything else...

Ø Jennifer & Chuck going out for a burger & fries.

Ø Cue Tip getting his hair cut.

Ø Sean getting divorced again.

Ø Holly getting married again.

Ø Shirley sunbathing when she was fat & sunbathing after she was no longer fat.

Ø Austin driving his sports car.

Ø Sean divorced again.

Ø Holly getting married again.

Does anyone keep track of all these Community Service Sentences? How do we know that they performed all or any of their sentences?

I have noticed many judges in court winking as they handed down these Community Service Sentences. Up until now I thought all these judges had nervous twitches but I have seen the light.

The Fella now believes that all these sentences are being handed out simply to make us feel that something is being done when actually nothing is being done.  

On the other hand, if you stop & think about it, why should they have to abide by their Community Service Sentences? They are important & we’re not.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

My Visit To My Local County Park

Considering That Our Local, State & Federal Governments Write About 700 New Laws Every Week (My Wild Guess But Probably On The Low Side) You would Think They Would Be Better At Coming Up With Laws That Would Not Be So Full Of Loop Holes

I’ve been Heavy Duty Walking for several months now. I am using Nordic Sticks when I walk (pushing with walking sticks that look like ski poles). The sticks dramatically increase calorie burn & exercise of my upper body. I have never seen anyone else in my park with these sticks. Some of the people I pass ask me if I am sick (Multiple Sclerosis) & the rest think I am crazy. 

 

Wow! This Blog Posting has started off with a major digression! Allow me to get back to Sloppy Law Writing which is the reason for this bit of foolishness....

 

First Example... Handicapped Door Opening Buttons

There is a law that says that all rest rooms in my local county park should have a button installed next to the door for handicapped resters to use when trying to exit the restrooms…

 

The left picture is the door & the door opening button with the door closed. The right picture is the door opening button being pushed but the door staying closed. This button has not worked in any of the park’s 3 public restrooms for the 12 years I have been visiting this park.

 

Here is the addendum that should have been added by the sloppy law writers... “The button should open the door when it is pushed”.

 

Second Example... Scummy Dangerous Fenced Pond

During my park walks I pass right by a pond. It has a fence around it to prevent our park children from wandering into the Scummy Dangerous Fenced Pond.

 

County law says that there ought to be a fence around the pond & there must be a Lock & Chain on the gate into the dangerous pond…

 

This law also is not specific enough. As you can see county workers have placed a strong lock & chain on the gate to the dangerous pond but the lock & chain are not locked. They are just hanging there.

 

Here is the addendum that should have been added by the sloppy law writers... “Once the Strong Chain & Padlock Have Been Placed on the Gate to the Dangerous Pond, the Padlock & Chain Should Be Used to Lock the Gate In Order To Keep Our Park Children from Drowning in the Dangerous Pond”.

 

Last Example... Doggie Poop Control

It is a well known fact that people in the Good Ole USofA do not like Dog Poop. In an effort to make it convenient for Dog Owners to pick up their doggie’s poop after their pooping doggie has pooped, our county has made it easy for Poop Picker Uppers to pick up their cute little dog’s poop by passing a law that Plastic Bag Dispensers be placed in our county parks.

 

Here is the addendum that should have been added by the sloppy law writers... “County Workers Are to See to it that Plastic Bags Are Placed in the Plastic Bag Dispensers Whenever All Plastic Bags Have Been Dispensed”.              

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Poopy Lagniappe #1...

 

Poopy Lagniappe #2... One time when I was living in California, I saw an Asian Lady on her knees in the gutter holding a small red plastic shovel at the Poop Ejection Point of her Cute Little Doggie which was pooping on the grass above the gutter.

 

Poopy Lagniappe #3... Picture this in your mind’s eye. What if a creature from outer space had just arrived over the Earth & was hovering above a Doggie Owner while he picked up the poop of his Cute Little Doggie. Which would the space creature think was the Superior Being, the Cute Little Doggie or the Cute Little Doggie Owner?

A Sign Of The Times

I recently blogged about the Good Ole USofA’s obsession in with Lists.

One of the most often published Lists is the Ten Richest People in the United States...

Based on What I Am Seeing More & More Of Each & Every Day, How Long Will It Be Before 7 Of The 10 Richest People Will Be Tattoo Artists?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe #1: In the first paragraph I almost typed, “Ten Richest Men in the United States”. What do you wanna bet that, if I had done that, I would have received more than a few Death Threats?

Lagniappe #2: If you wanna read my Lists Blog Posting again, click here: http://forii.blogspot.com/2015/05/a-listing-of-lists.html

Am I Smarter Than Policemen Too?

My newspaper tells me that a person has been arrested in Los Angeles for robbing 5 banks between March & July of this year.

The police are perplexed about why he robbed the banks. The newspaper article says, “No motive for the crime is spelled out in the complaint”.

I could use some extra money. I should print up some business cards & set up a blog offering myself as a Professional Confusion Remover to police departments all across the Fruited Plain.

I could start with this case which is baffling the Los Angeles Police Department. It would not take long. I would walk into the midst of the confusion & say, “The reason he took the money is he wanted the money. Pay me my stipulated exorbitant Confusion Removal Fee & I’ll be on my way. There a lot of confusion out there & I have work to do in other locales”.

I would be like a Super Hero. Maybe I’ll start wearing a cape. I’ll skip wearing a mask because I enjoy having the world know who I am...Or do they?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

The Demise Of The Whitman Sampler Is Costing Us Dearly

This is what used to happen when someone sought forgiveness...

• The Feeling So Badly Person would go to the corner drug store & buy a box of Whitman Sampler Chocolate Candies & bring it to the person from whom they wanted forgiveness.
• They would approach the person whom they wanted forgiveness from & hand them the Whitman Sampler Chocolate Candies & express their sorrow for having given offense.
• The offended person would accept the candy & smile & say, “Oh, you did not have to do that. It was nothing”.

For a moment the Forgiveness Seeking Person would think to himself, “Darn! I spent $1.75 & it was nothing!”

This $1.75 thought would be fleeting & both parties would shake hands (Now we hug because that’s what we do today, we hug on every possible occasion) & all would be forgiven.

------------------------

Fast forward to today...

Last week the Chattanooga Coo Coo decided he was going to go out & shoot as many people as he could. In today’s paper we get this explanation from his family...

“Members of Mohammod Youssuf Abdulazeez's family believe deep depression and shame over a drunken driving charge may have led him to go on a rampage in which five U.S. servicemen died last week, a source close to the family said on Tuesday.

Substance abuse combined with long-standing psychological issues appears to have stirred up intense religious guilt, driving Abdulazeez to find forgiveness in a violent outburst, they believe.”

There you have it is a proverbial nutshell. He needed forgiveness. In the old days he would have gone & bought a box of chocolates but in the new days he goes out & kills people.

Some say the craziness in the world today is a pendulum & it is going to swing back but the Smartfella has great fear that someone has Super Glued that ole pendulum in place.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: I personally think we hug too much but Jana Christy does not agree with me...

“Hugs can be tricky! But you can learn how to hug. Never hug anyone too tight—ouch! And don’t hug too many people at once—uh-oh! You can be a leg hugger or a bear hugger or a surprise hugger. If you don’t want a hug, it’s okay to say so. But if you learn how to give a hug and do it just right, you might get one back...so be ready! Jana Christy’s digital illustrations provide a charming twist to something everyone loves to do.”

http://www.amazon.com/How-Hug-Maryann-Macdonald/dp/0761458042?tag=duckduckgo-ffab-20

Where Has Our Ability To Discuss Issues Gone?

If one of us dares bring up a Sensitive Issue, the other of us immediately begins to take offense. The problem is how Modern Us defines a Sensitive Issue. A Sensitive Issue is any issue where our opinion is different from the Other Guy’s Opinion of that Same Issue.

When it comes to Solar Power the Other Guy is stupid. There does not seem to be any possibility of one side of the argument thinking that the other side of the argument is not Stupid, Unthinking, Devious & a Bunch of Other Unkind Adjectives.

Is it possible to have a meeting of minds? Probably not but I’m going to give it a try anyway. Wish me luck...

Above is the 2.2 Billion Dollar Ivanpah Solar-Thermal Plant in California which uses thousands of mirrors to reflect sunlight and generate steam.

There have been a series of missteps and technical difficulties that threaten to make this newfangled solar-thermal technology obsolete.

Here are facts that the Pro-Solar Side do not want to come to grips with...

Ø Solar Power has a long way to go before it will be able to fulfill the predictions/dreams of those who support it.

Ø Some costly high-tech solar power projects aren’t living up to promises their backers made about how much electricity they could generate.

Ø The Ivanpah Plant was supposed to generate more than a million megawatt-hours of electricity each year but, 15 months after it started up, it is producing just 40% of that prediction.

Ø Replacing broken equipment and learning better ways to operate the complex assortment of machinery has stalled attempts to reach full potential.

Ø Engineers have had to fix leaky tubes connected to water boilers and contend with a vibrating steam turbine that threatened nearby equipment.

Ø The power plant requires far more steam to run smoothly and efficiently than originally thought. Instead of ramping up the plant each day before sunrise by burning one hour’s worth of natural gas to generate steam, the plant needs more than four times that much help from fossil fuels to get the plant humming every morning.

Ø Another unexpected problem: not enough sun. Weather predictions for the area underestimated the amount of cloud cover that has blanketed the area since it went into service in 2013.

Plant operators say their plants will reach power targets once the kinks are worked out.

The short paragraph above makes my point for me. Below is what I think the argument of the Fossil Fuel Proponents ought to be (I’m a True Conservationist because I only use one bullet)...

Ø Until such time as Solar Power can replace Fossil Fuel Production, can we halt attempts to shut down Fossil Fuel Production?

My crazy argument is simply that. If we were to shut down all Fossil Fuel Production immediately, as some propose, it would be impossible to see the light at the end of the tunnel (or even crank up the Ivanpah Solar-Thermal Plant each morning).

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: A couple of other points to consider...

Ø The plant was delayed several months and had millions of dollars in cost overruns because of wildlife protections for the endangered Desert Tortoise.

Ø Once built, U.S. government biologists found the plant’s superheated mirrors were killing birds. It is estimated that 3,500 birds died at the plant in the span of a year, many of them burned alive while flying through a part of the solar installment where air temperatures can reach 1,000 degrees Fahrenheit.

Yea, I know my bringing up these 2 Lagniappe Bullets makes me Stupid, Unthinking, Devious & a Bunch of Other Unkind Adjectives. It seems like we are back to where this Blog Posting started, does it not?

Denying The Obvious Is Obvious

The arithmetic is simple. It is beyond the Fella’s well developed powers of understanding to understand how so very few of us see the impending disaster that is in front of us.

Did I hear you just say to yourself, “I wonder where the Fella is as he pecks out this Posting?” (It is amazing how I can hear what my Dear Readers are saying to themselves.)

 

I am in the Wilderness Crying. I am getting used to being a Voice Crying in the Wilderness. It is very lonely out here.

 

Here is the simple arithmetic referred to above simply stated...

Ø A person has a fixed income of $100.

Ø It has been fixed at $100 for many years.

Ø There are no prospects of this income increasing.

Ø This person has fixed expenses of $150.

Ø These expenses have been rising for many years.

Ø There are no prospects of these expenses decreasing because our person has no intention of decreasing his expenses.

 

The person goes to his local bank & asks to borrow $10,000. His banker asks him questions...

Ø Question: Are you going to be getting an increase in income in the future?

Ø Answer: No way possible.

Ø Question: Are you going to be able to reduce your expenses?

Ø Answer: I have no intention of reducing my expenses.

 

The banker says: “That’s excellent! Here is your $10,000”.

 

This scenario is repeated many times with the same result...The loan is always approved & the amount loaned gets bigger each time.

This does not make sense!

If you would like to understand how this makes sense, contact the people running (the percent figure is the Annual Budget Shortfall at end of 2012)...

Ø Camden, NJ 20.2%

Ø Honolulu, HI 5.1%

Ø Washington, DC 3.4%

Ø New York, NY 7.0%

Ø Cincinnati, OH 20.0%

Ø San Francisco, CA 5.5%

Ø Los Angeles, CA 6.6%

Ø Baltimore, MD 15.0%

Ø Detroit, MI 5.0%

Ø Chicago, IL 7.7%

I know they can explain it to you.

Would they kid u?

Smartfella

 

Lagniappe: Oops! How could I forget? Be sure to also contact the people running the Good Ole USofA.

You Won’t Believe How Old This Blog Posting Is But, Even Though It Has Been A Long Time Since I first Pecked It Out, Nothing Has Changed

I started pecking out this Foolishness...Or Is It? about this time in the year 2007. I put it into my “New in Process” folder (that’s where I put blog ideas I am working on) & proceeded to forget about it.

Time marched on but it is as valid today as the day I forgot about it.

 

Nothing has changed. Actually a few Members of Congress have been voted out of office but the sad truth is A Few Ain’t Many. To be more precise, A Few Ain’t Enough.

------------------------

Here is my blog about what Congress was doing in 2007...

 

The Congress is wasting its (our) time. They appear to believe that they can pass an Amendment, a Law, express a Sense of the Congress, hold someone in Contempt of Them & something out in the real world is affected by what they do.

 

Today (July 17, 2007) our Senate passed the amendment shown below by a vote of 94 to 3. It looks like only 3 Senators saw this amendment the same as the Smartfella saw it... A Colossal Waste of Time.

 

Senate Amendment 2100

Sponsor: Sen Cornyn, John [TX] (R) (submitted 7/11/2007) (proposed 7/12/2007)

AMENDMENT PURPOSE:
To express the sense of the Senate that it is in the national security interest of the United States that Iraq not become a failed state and a safe haven for terrorists.

 

No matter what they do from now on about Iraq (ie: they could vote to stop giving our military in Iraq bullets to defend themselves) 94 of them could say to their constituents, "I voted that Iraq not become a failed state and a safe haven for terrorists. The fact that it became a failed state & a safe haven for terrorists is not my fault because I voted against it."

------------------------

Since they seem intent on going about passing useless amendments, they should do something about all the mosquitoes that keep biting the Folks Back Home (that’s us). Here is what I propose that they should have proposed:

 

To express the sense of the Senate that it firmly believes it is in the national security interest of the United States that something need to be done about all the mosquitoes in the Good Ole USofA biting the folks back home. Since we also have lots of flies, the Senate hereby directs our flies to start eating our mosquitoes.

 

Did I just hear you say to your collective selves, “That’s silly”? Well the Fella has this to say about that... This Flies Eating Mosquitoes Amendment Makes As Much Sense As Senate Amendment 2100.

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Would George Washington Be Ashamed Of Himself?

We see it happen over & over. Dudley Do-Rightgets elected to Congress. He is a Straight Shooting Extremely Honest Person. He sets about doing Straight Shooting Extremely Honest Things. He & we are proud about how Straight Shooting Extremely Honest he is.

His Straight Shooting Extremely Honest Virtues are noticed by old time members of Congress who were once Straight Shooting Extremely Honest People. They have taken notice of him because they are getting wet by the waves he is generating & their once nicely laid out feathers have become ruffled.

An old timer is assigned to Dudley in order to Straighten Out the Straight Shooter. The Old Timer invites Dudley into the Cloak Room & says to him, “What the hell is wrong with you?”

From that point on, it is just a matter of time. Little by little our Straight Shooting Extremely Honest Dudley is changed into Extremely Dastardly Dudley. 

What does all of this have to do with George Washington? Obviously this transformation would never have happened to the Father of Our Country who never told a lie.

Going along to get along is a Powerful Driving Force in our 9% Approval Rated Congress but Ole George’s Honesty would have remained intact... Or would it have?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

The Age Of Enya

Mankind has passed through many Ages. We have had The Ice Age, The Stone Age, The Bronze Age, The Iron Age, The Dark Ages, The Middle Ages, Rock of Ages, Age of Enlightenment (too bad this one got away from us), The Atomic Age, etc.

The daily news is sometimes usually always depressing but I am fighting back. I have officially entered The Age of Enya. From now on, as I drive along in my car, I am not listening to the daily news but will be listening to Enya CDs.

 

I am determined to stop listening to my radio shout at me about all that is wrong, is going wrong &, most depressing of all, all of these wrong things are things that I can’t do anything about except worry about all these wrong things that I can’t do anything about.

------------------------

If you are saying to yourself “Who or what is an Enya?”, I feel sorry that you have gotten this far in your life not knowing who Enya is.

 

Enya is a musical person (she is more than a mere singer) who comes to our ears from Ireland.

 

It is an awesome experience driving (floating) down a highway listening to Enya... http://www.enya.com/

 

If you go to the site I just gave you, you will find a link entitled “Lyrics”. DO NOT CLICK ON IT! I have listened to Enya for many years & I do not understand the words & I do not want to understand the words. Enya is the sounds she emits, not the words. If I every understood the words, it might spoil it all for me...Or would it?

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

The Gift That Keeps On Giving

Do you hate someone who is always right? If so, you hate the Smartfella. I can’t help it. There actually was an occasion where I made a mistake. I had come to the conclusion that I had made a mistake but, as it turned out, I had not made a mistake. My mistake was thinking I had made a mistake.

Boy, am I glad that first paragraph is done with because I was getting confused.

 

Back on 2/19/13 I published a Blog Posting (lagniappe link below) that almost dared to say I was feeling sorry for BP because they had become the Federal Government’s Gift That Keeps on Giving.

 

Another “Final” (there’s that word again) Agreement has been reached for BP to pay another $18,700,000,000. Quoting ABC News...

“Trying to close the books on the worst offshore oil spill in U.S. history, BP agreed Thursday to provide billions of dollars in new money to five Gulf Coast states in a deal the company said would bring its full obligations to an estimated $53.8 billion.”

 

Do you see the ominous word for BP? It’s “trying”. Trying means it is not Final (there’s that word again).

 

While we all know that ABC never gives us bad information, the Fella often quotes more than one source to prove his point. My local newspaper tells me...

“BP will pay up to $18.7 billion in penalties to the U.S. government and five states to resolve nearly all claims from its deadly Gulf of Mexico oil spill five years ago in the largest corporate settlement in U.S. history.”

 

Do you see the ominous words for BP? It’s “nearly all”. Nearly All means it is not Final (there’s that word again).

 

I’d be willing to bet you dollars to donuts that, when they saw the Omnious Words above, umpteen lawyers throughout The Fruited Plain texted each other from their Palatial BP Mansions... “Yahoo! The Ominous Words are in there!”

 

Hey, BP, count your bleesings! The Exxon Valdez ran aground on March 24, 1989 & their Litigation Headaches show no signs of coming to an end. At least you are flirting with Finality.

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Lagniappe: The link to my prior blog posting about BP... http://forii.blogspot.com/2013/02/the-mother-of-all-revenue-enhancements.html

 

Lagniappe #2: If you are a long time reader of my Foolishness, you knew this was coming... $53.8B is not as small as $53.8B looks like it is. This is 53.8 Thousand Million Dollars & a Million is a Thousand Thousands. That’s a lot of Palatial Mansions.