Barbers and Tennis Players Are Smart

Barbers have a reputation for being smart people. Whether this reputation is deserved or not has now been called into question because someone has uncovered the fact that 87% of those who are saying Barbers are smart are Barbers.

As for the other grouping in the above Subject…Tennis Players…I have some first-hand knowledge of those guys and I say that they are as smart as or smarter than Barbers because I have participated in at least 12 conversations where we put our smart heads together and solved the Mid-East Situation.

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This week’s brilliant discussion on the courts involved the Coronavirus / Wuhan Virus / Chinese Flu / Novel Coronavirus / COVID-19 / CCP (Chinese Communist Party) Virus / SARS-CoV-2 Virus/Flu/Pandemic and how it has become The Big Excuse for all kinds of businesses to Not Be Responsible for Anything Because the Virus/Flu/Pandemic is Responsible for Everything.

For example, every time we call a business we have to listen to a Disclaimer about the Virus/Flu/Pandemic and the Disclaimers are getting longer and longer as the lawyers get more and more involved.

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Back to my Smart Tennis Players and their Smart Heads, we started giving each other examples of this Virus/Flu/Pandemic Big Excuse Intrusion…

·      Banks: Because of the Virus/Flu/Pandemic we are sorry that, for the foreseeable future, we will not be able to pay you interest on the savings accounts you have with our bank.

·      Grocery Stores: Because of the Virus/Flu/Pandemic we are sorry that, for the foreseeable future, we will not be able to put the groceries you have just purchased from us in your shopping bag. Until this crisis has passed we will be returning your groceries back to our shelves for safe keeping so that others of our customers (who are also important to us) can shop with us.

·      Toll Roads: Because of the Virus/Flu/Pandemic we are sorry that, for the foreseeable future, we will not be able to allow you to venture out onto our Toll Road after you have paid your Toll. We cannot guarantee your safety out there, and until we can, please make a U-Turn right past the Toll Booth.

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I can just see that some of you think I am kidding. I will now give you Conclusive Proof that I’m Not Kidding U. This is a picture of a sign I saw in a store I was giving my money to yesterday…

Don’t ever doubt me.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

It Is Now Fella Official! ... We Are Nuts!

Nasdaq has now joined the... We Are Out of Our Gourds Club

Maybe I should modify the above sentence by changing it to... We at Nasdaq Are Proud to Announce the Creation of the We Are Out of Our Gourd Club

This Blog Posting could become very complicated. I will try to peck it out so that even I can understand it.

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Excerpt #1 about Nasdaq’s Plans to Advance Diversity Through New Proposed Listing Requirements...  

NEW YORK, Dec. 01, 2020 (GLOBE NEWSWIRE) -- Nasdaq (Nasdaq: NDAQ) today filed a proposal with the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) to adopt new listing rules related to board diversity and disclosure. If approved by the SEC, the new listing rules would require all companies listed on Nasdaq’s U.S. exchange to publicly disclose consistent, transparent diversity statistics regarding their board of directors. Additionally, the rules would require most Nasdaq-listed companies to have, or explain why they do not have, at least two diverse directors, including one who self-identifies as female and one who self-identifies as either an underrepresented minority1 or LGBTQ+. Foreign companies and smaller reporting companies would have additional flexibility in satisfying this requirement with two female directors.

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Did you see the little “1” hooked onto “underrepresented minority”? This is the Nasdaq Manager of Confusion’s attempt to clarify things for us. (I told you this was going to be confusing)...

1 - An “underrepresented minority” is an individual who self-identifies in one or more of the following groups: Black or African American, Hispanic or Latinx, Asian, Native American or Alaska Native, Native Hawaiian or Pacific Islander or Two or More Races or Ethnicities.

I hope this has helped.

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Did “Latinx” throw you for a loop? Fella is again glad to help...

Latinx is a gender-neutral neologism, sometimes used to refer to people of Latin American cultural or ethnic identity in the United States.

Glad I could help, again.

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I will not bother to explain the full Nasdaq Quoted Paragraph above because I don’t understand what the heck Nasdaq is talking about but I am sure you understand it fully...Or am I or Do You?

If you want to read more than I want to read about all of this, here is the link that will allow you to do that... https://www.nasdaq.com/press-release/nasdaq-to-advance-diversity-through-new-proposed-listing-requirements-2020-12-01

Good Luck.

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Excerpt #2 comes from the Wall Street Journal and reports what Berkshire Hathaway’s Warren Buffett thinks about Nasdaq’s venture into Confusion and Absurdity...

Nasdaq vs. Warren Buffett

The more we think about the new racial, gender and LGBTQ mandates for corporate directors that Nasdaq announced on Tuesday, the more absurd they seem.

How is a company supposed to find out if a board candidate is gay if that isn’t already known? Is it supposed to hire private detectives to look into it? Once that person joins the board, does the company then have to broadcast his or her sexual orientation in the annual report so progressives can be satisfied that the quota is met? We could go on.

For a dose of sanity, we thought readers might enjoy Warren Buffett’s views on what he looks for in a director. The following is from the legendary investor’s 2006 letter to shareholders in Berkshire Hathaway’s annual report:

“In selecting a new director, we were guided by our long-standing criteria, which are that board members be owner-oriented, business-savvy, interested and truly independent. . . .

“Charlie [Munger, Berkshire vice chairman] and I believe our four criteria are essential if directors are to do their job—which, by law, is to faithfully represent owners. Yet these criteria are usually ignored. Instead, consultants and CEOs seeking board candidates will often say, ‘We’re looking for a woman,’ or ‘a Hispanic,’ or ‘someone from abroad,’ or what have you. It sometimes sounds as if the mission is to stock Noah’s ark. Over the years I’ve been queried many times about potential directors and have yet to hear anyone ask, ‘Does he think like an intelligent owner?’ “The questions I instead get would sound ridiculous to someone seeking candidates for, say, a football team, or an arbitration panel or a military command. In those cases, the selectors would look for people who had the specific talents and attitudes that were required for a specialized job. At Berkshire, we are in the specialized activity of running a business well, and therefore we seek business judgment.”

Nasdaq is nuts.

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Now We Can Wrap Up All Of This With... Fella’s 2 Cents

Fella Cents #1...Is not Nasdaq an Indicator of How Things Are Going In The Stock Market kinda thingie? If it starts kicking companies out because of Various Social Justice Requirements for Membership (currently 3,300 companies) does it not dilute and destroy their ability to be an Indicator of much of anything?

They may end up changing their motto to...

We Don’t Have Enough Members For You To Pay Any Attention To Us But, If You Have Nothing Better To Do, Would You Please Look At Our Trading Day Ending Averages As If They Were Still Important Like They Used To Be Important?

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Fella Cents #2...Is it a Federal Law that All LGBTQ+’ers must declare their Sexual Idenitity? What if some of them, for whatever their reasons are, do not care to declare their Sexual Identity or just do not want to get mixed up in all of this...

Ø Are the LGBTQ+ Police going to arrest them for not wanting to be a part of all of this?

Ø Are the LGBTQ+ Revenuers going to fine them for not wanting to be a part of all of this?

I shudder to think of where this is taking us!...

Are we going to see a plethora of imitation LGBTQ+’ers claiming to be actual LGPTQ+’ers just so they can get on Nasdaq Boards?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

I Demand You Let Me Pay For Something!

If you have watched TV in the last 2 months, you have seen (actually have been bombarded with) commercials for Medicare Advantage. The Fella Perspective has this to say about that...

I have a lot of skepticism for a Health Care Program...

• Where you will not have to pay co-pays.
• Where you will not have to pay monthly premiums.
• Where Medicare will pay you a “Refund” each month.
• Where Hearing Aides are included.
• Where Prescription Drugs are include.
• Where Dental Care is included.
• Where Eye Glasses are included.
• Where Meals are delivered to your house.
• Where Joe Namath will come to your house and pick you up and take you to all your doctor appointments.

What the heck is wrong with you guys? Have you forgotten...

• There is no such thing as a Free Lunch!
• If it sounds too good to be true, it isn’t true!
• Maxwell Smart who, after he told you a lie and he saw that you had not fallen for his lie, would say, “Would you believe...?” and look you straight in the eye and try and see if you would fall for a new and different lie.

Breaking News: This just in from the Office of Joe Namath... “Hey guys, I certainly did not mean to imply that I personally will pick each and every one of you up and take you to your doctor appointments. That would, of course, be an insurmountable task. I have, however, hired 2 assistants to help me. Don’t worry you none. Fred, Sidney and I will get you to your doctor on time! I Guarantee It!”

Would I kid u?

Smartfella 

Lagniappe: Forget about all of them (Medicare, Medicaid, Hillary Care, Obama Care, Biden Care, Medicare for All, Medicare for Illegal Citizens)!

This seems like a No Brainer to me...

Put everyone in the Good Ole USofA on Medicare Advantage!

Don’t worry about where the money will come from. Congress could pass a law that Medicare Advantage stop their TV Ads for 7 days, Congress could confiscate the money saved and that would be more than enough.

My Bubble Has Burst! ... Again!

We have all been caught forwarding something juicy that came to us on the Internet which appears to be Absolutely True but later turns out to be Absolutely False.

I have cut back on forwarding such juicy stuff and since you did not get what I did not send you have no appreciation for the fact that I did not bother you with what I did not send you.

This is probably the biggest Absolutely False Item I have ever sent out but it is Probably Absolutely True. Are you confused? I’m confused too but please read on and another Smart Fellow named Gary North* will straighten both of us out...Or will he?

*Gary Kilgore North is an American economic historian. Writing from a Christian Reconstructionist perspective, North has authored or coauthored over fifty books on topics including Christian theology, economics, and history.

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Here is Alexander Tyler’s oft-quoted quote that we have forwarded many times in the past...

At about the time our original 13 states adopted their new constitution, in the year 1787, Alexander Tyler (a Scottish history professor at The University of Edinborough) had this to say about “The Fall of The Athenian Republic” some 2,000 years prior:

A democracy is always temporary in nature; it simply cannot exist as a permanent form of government. A democracy will continue to exist up until the time that voters discover that they can vote themselves generous gifts from the public treasury. From that moment on, the majority always votes for the candidates who promise the most benefits from the public treasury, with the result that every democracy will finally collapse due to loose fiscal policy, which is always followed by a dictatorship.

The average age of the worlds greatest civilizations from the beginning of history, has been about 200 years. During those 200 years, these nations always progressed through the following sequence:

From bondage to spiritual faith; From spiritual faith to great courage; From courage to liberty; From liberty to abundance; From abundance to complacency; From complacency to apathy; From apathy to dependence; From dependence back into bondage.

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Provided you are a fellow clear thinker, you believed that Alexander Tyler proved he was a really clear thinker when he wrote these words but, thanks to Professor North, I now know that Alexander Tyler did not say what he is Internet Famous for having said.

I’ll start off this clarification with a bit of confusion. It looks like Alexander Tyler was not Alexander Tyler but was actually Alexander Fraser Tytler (with an extra “t” inserted).

Yes, there was a Scottish historian named Alexander Fraser Tytler. He was a Professor at University of Edinburgh and he wrote several books in the early nineteenth century, but none with the title, The Fall of the Athenian Republic and in none of his other books does this Stage Theory passage appear.

A detailed response from the librarian at the University of Edinburgh reveals that no such quotation appears in the library’s holdings of books by Tytler...

Edinburgh University Library occasionally receives enquiries, particularly from North America, about this particular work. However, this title is not in our Library holdings, nor does it appear in the stocks of the other major research libraries in the UK (according to the ‘union’ catalogue COPAC)…

Locally, the chapters of Tytler’s General history … (which we DO have) has been checked on the off-chance that The decline and fall might have been a chapter title… but it is not…

He goes on to say that the U.S. Library of Congress has found no such quotation in its collection of books by Tytler.

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I will now show how obstinate I can be. I believe that Alexander Tyler/Tytler was absolutely right when he said what he did not say.

Again, Gary North has the right words...

“It is true that democracy undermines freedom when voters believe they can live off of others’ productivity, when they modify the commandment: “Thou shalt not steal, except by majority vote.”

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

This Is the Day to Be Especially Thankful

Be Especially Thankful that any one of these Red Carpet Celebrities is not your girlfriend...

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella 

I Am So Relieved!

Thank heaven for the Coronavirus / Wuhan Virus / Chinese Flu / Novel Coronavirus / COVID-19 / CCP (Chinese Communist Party) Virus / SARS-CoV-2 Virus/Flu/Pandemic!

I better peck fast before I am covered up with Hate Mail because I dared to peck out the above paragraph.

I am not really happy that all this misery has been thrust upon us. It’s just that a see a sliver of relief slithering towards me because of all this misery that has been thrust upon us.

It has to do with Smiling. I don’t always want to smile. If someone says something that is Dirty Look Back At Them From Me Worthy, I would love to send a Dirty Look in their direction but social pressure has always required me to Smile and say something socially acceptable like...

Ø “Do you really think so?” (While thinking to myself, “What a jerk!”)

Ø “That’s very interesting.” (While thinking to myself, “It’s not near as interesting as the fact that that’s flawed thinking.”)

Ø “I never thought of that.” (While thinking to myself, “That’s because I have the ability to not think stupid thoughts.”)

Because we have all been hammered into being Politically Correct and I am tired of sawing off limbs on which I sit, I will probably not start saying any of my above While Thinking to Myself Thoughts but I do see that the wearing of these Pandemic Prevention Masks is offering me some small amount of I Don't Want To Smile Tension Relief...

I don’t have to smile at stupidity any longer because my mask is hiding that fact that I am not smiling!

I just may carry this True Feelings Security even further. My Mother taught me not to stick out my tongue at people who deserved to have a tongue stuck out at them. I am now free to stick out my tongue with reckless abandon!

I am so excited!

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Why Won’t You Look At Me?

The Subject of this Blog Posting goes through our minds but is not often actually put into words by millions of us every day. This happens because we are interacting with people who are right in front of us but the people we are interacting with are paying us no nevermind.

The problem is our paying-no-attention-to-us friends are holding in their hands a Smartphone and the Smartphone has their constant attention and they are can’t stop looking at and pecking at it.

I was in a Mexican Restaurant last Saturday and my Only Friend (our little ongoing joke for the last 10 or so years) was at the table with me. I was paying attention to him and he was paying attention to me and we were the only people who were not paying ongoing constant interrupting attention to their Smartphones.

We were the first ones to occupy a table in the restaurant’s designated Outside Coronavirus/Wuhan Virus/Chinese Flu/ Novel Coronavirus/COVID-19/CCP (Chinese Communist Party) Virus/SARS-CoV-2 Virus/Flu/Pandemic Eating Survival Area. 

As soon as the occupants of the second table sat down, they each took out their Smartphones and started doing unnecessary things on it. (Maybe I was not paying attention to my Only Friend after all because I sure watched these 2 Smartphoners a lot.) 

When the menus arrived one of them put her Smartphone down and looked at the menu. The other one held the Menu in one hand and her Smartphone in the other and she continued to peck at the Smartphone while she read the Menu. (I sure hope this was not her only “talent”.)

Eventually 2 more tables were filled before we left. There were 3 Smartphoners at one table and 2 at the other 2 tables. As we left I took note that all 7 of them were looking at and pecking at their Smartphones.

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I may have put into a prior Blog Posting but I am about to put it again...

Steve Jobs Is In Heaven! ... Or is he still?

When Steve Jobs arrived in heaven he was assigned his cloud and given his never ending supply of Cannoli* and started munching away happily ever after. My sources tell me that God, being a keen observer of happenings down on Earth, keenly observed the Chaos that Steve’s Smartphone was causing and decided to relocate him. My sources did not want to presume where Steve went to but they are certain the direction he went was Not Up.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

* Don’t embarrass yourself by commenting to this Blog Posting to tell me I should have pecked out “Cannolis” because “Cannoli” is already plural and “Cannolo” is singular. (Now you and I and the Dictionary are the only ones that know this.)

The NFL Is Leading the Way...Or is it?

I can’t believe how uncaring the players in the NFL are considering the dire circumstances the Good Ole USofA is in during this dire situation as we try to cope with this dire pandemic that is causing us all to feel so dire.

What am I talking about? Oh, I thought everyone knew how uncaring the New Orleans Saints were when they uncaringly celebrated after a big victory (38 to 3) over the league-leading Buccaneers on 11/8/20.

They actually celebrated in their locker room after this emotional victory without their Face Masks on! Can you believe it? The NFL’s Imitation Leadership could not believe it and they are eventually going to fine the Saints a bunch of money after they finish throwing darts at the Official NFL Fine Invocation Dart Board. These are fines the NFL will certainly give to charity...Or will they?

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As I mentioned above the celebration happened after the 11/8/20 victory. The Saints have not been fined yet but, as of 11/22/20, these article headlines are still on the Internet...

Ø Report: Saints 'Facing Significant Discipline' for Celebration Videos Amid COVID

Ø Report: Saints face discipline for not wearing masks while celebrating after beating Buccaneers

Ø Report: NFL considering 'significant discipline' for Saints after postgame celebration

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The NFL is leading the way with their Admirable Stance against the Coronavirus/Wuhan Virus/Chinese Flu/ Novel Coronavirus/COVID-19/CCP (Chinese Communist Party) Virus/SARS-CoV-2 Virus/Flu/Pandemic!

I think the NFL is benefiting because of 2 things...

Ø A slick Public Relations Department

Ø A Gullible Country with a Short Memory

The NFL refused to react in any coherent way while the League and the Country were torn apart by the Kneeling during the National Anthem to Show Disrespect for the Country and for the Military Craziness was going on and on and on.

Then we saw the message change to We Are Not Showing Disrespect for the Country and for the Military Craziness by kneeling during the National Anthem we just happened to always Kneel during the National Anthem by Accident.

Originally the League quietly whispered, “Maybe you guys should not do the kneeling stuff”. Now the league has Apologized to the Kneelers and is running a series of videos called Salute to the Military and the too much of America is seeing the videos and saying, “Ain’t that nice of the NFL to do that?!”

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Back to the fining by the league for not following Coronavirus/Wuhan Virus/Chinese Flu/ Novel Coronavirus/COVID-19/CCP (Chinese Communist Party) Virus/SARS-CoV-2 Virus/Flu/Pandemic Guidelines.

Has anyone but me noticed players are in violation if they do not wear a mask in the locker room after playing a 3 hours game while these kinds of things are happening?...

Ø On the sidelines during the game only a few coaches are wearing masks (the ones the camera will be on during the game).

Ø The players on the field are not wearing masks while they...
>Collide with each other (at close range).
>Shout at each other (while inches apart).
>Don’t wear masks on the sidelines when not in the game.
>After the game the players walk around the field and hug each other (at close range).
>After the game the players walk around the field and congratulate each other (while their mouths are inches apart).

They have to get so close because they can’t hear each other say nice things to each other because the NFL still has the recording blasting away of a cheering crowd from the days when a cheering crowd was allowed inside the stadium to cheer.

Regarding the blasting away comment above, truthfully I am not sure if it is a Cheering Crowd or a Rap Ode to Colin Kaepernick entitled, “Colin, We Love You”.

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I got a fix for the NFL to consider...

The players should be required to Shout at Each Other and, most of all, Tackle Each Other From 6 Feet Away until this Dire Situation is behind us.

If the NFL adopts this logical rule change, we will all be convinced that the NFL is taking the Coronavirus/Wuhan Virus/Chinese Flu/ Novel Coronavirus/COVID-19/CCP (Chinese Communist Party) Virus/SARS-CoV-2 Virus/Flu/Pandemic Seriously.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: I have some very important advice for Saints Head Coach Sean Payton that I know he will appreciate...Or will he? I read this on the Internet (so you know it is true), “Saints coach Sean Payton joined his players for a brief celebration before showering and changing minutes after the game.” My advice is, Payton should never interact with his players after a game. He should never even look them in the eye. If he is approached by a player, he should say, “I don’t like you. Go away from me.” That ought to make the League Happy...Or will it?

You Did What?

This Automobile Commercial has been running for years and I think it is Foolishness. Did I just hear you say, “What makes you think you are an expert on Foolishness?”

OK, Mr. Smarty Pants Dear Reader, I will come to the defense of me on the subject of Foolishness and Silliness and Craziness. I have written more than 1,500 Blog Postings on these subjects. The only person who can even approach this record of “achievement” was Willy Wonka and he is dead and, even more than that, he never was alive.

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Let’s get back to the Automotive Commercial. You tell me if you think this is not Foolishness...

Ø An excited wife is shown outside her family home getting her Husband’s Christmas Present ready to be presented to an unsuspecting him.

Ø The getting ready part is...

>Parking it in exactly the right place.

>Putting the Gigantic Red Bow in exactly the right place on top of her about-to-be-shocked hubby’s new very expensive Christmas Present.

Yes, you now remember the commercial of which I speak. The new Christmas Present for her about-to-be-shocked like he has never been shocked before hubby is a Brand Spanking New Lexus.

Now I ask you how many wives are going to go out and spend more than $50,000 for a Christmas Present without first talking the purchase over with her husband.

This is Foolish. This is Silly. This is Crazy. However, this commercial must be working because it has been running every year for many years.

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What the commercial makers leave out of the commercial is the part where the wife makes the husband feel all better about her gigantic dip into their checkbook when she tells him...

Honey, the best part is the Gigantic Red Bow! I got such a deal on that Gigantic Red Bow you will not believe me when I tell you. All I had to pay was $312 a month for 36 Months but, my Lexus Salesman gave me 0% Interest!

There it is! There is that look on your face that my Salesman told me you were going to have on your face when I told you about the Gigantic Red Bow Deal I negotiated!

Shut your mouth, shocked hubby, and go take a ride in your New Lexus.

Merry Christmas from Lexus...Experience Amazing!

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: Reminder to Shocked Hubby... Before you go for your ride, be sure to remove your Gigantic Red Bow and store it in your garage. You would not want to have it blow off and get all dirty. Too bad your Lexus is going to be left outside because your Gigantic Red Bow will be taking up its parking space.

I Know It Is Against Federal Law to Question the CDC

The question I have is...

Is It Also Against Federal Law To Be Confused By The CDC?

If it is against the Federal Law to be confused, I am guilty as hell.

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A person could spend an entire day reading any one of the CDC’s Weekly Key Updates. Below is the link to CDC Web Site Key Update for Week 45, ending November 7, 2020. You are welcome to read all of it in detail but I recommend you just scroll through the confusion. Be patient, it will come to an end...Or will it?

https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/covid-data/covidview/index.html

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The overriding guideline for any CDC Weekly Key Update is to Always Include Bad News. If the people who put together these updates can’t include enough Bad News they are instructed to, at the very least, insert as much Confusion as is possible.

I have selected 3 examples of Confusion Insertion that would win awards, if there were awards for such things. They usually are inserted at the end of a long Bad News paragraph. You may think I made these up but I did not...

Ø ...data for the most recent weeks may change as additional admissions occurring during those weeks are reported.

Ø ...other indicators have increased more rapidly in some regions.

Ø ...estimates from previous weeks are subject to change as data are updated with the most complete data available.

These are like saying, “All of the Bad News you just read may not be all of the Bad News because this situation may be Worst than just Bad”.

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I wonder what the Mortality Rate is for those who have tried to Adsorb, Analyze and Worry about the CDC’s Weekly Key Updates.

If you are wondering what would be the Cause of Death, I think there would be at least 3 very likely ways you could die from reading these updates...

Ø Extreme Irreversible Depression

Ø Extreme Irreversible Confusion

Ø Head Explosion

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It’s like a Poker Game. You dare to put into the pot some semblance of Good News and the CDC will raise you with an abundance of Bad News until you panic and fold up your cards.

During these Dire Economic Times one thing I am certain of is we will never hear someone say, “I’m really worried now. Did you notice that the CDC has started shortening the length of their Weekly Key Updates?”

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

New Additions to the Top 5 List

I’ve said this often in recent years...

In those lists we often see published about the Richest People in the Good Ole USofA 3 of the top 5 have got to be Tattoo Artists.

Bob Dylan is visiting with me today and he just burst into song singing, The Times They Are a Changin.  Because we have been “blessed” with the Coronavirus/Wuhon Flu/Chinese Flu/COVID 19 Pandemic times around us are a changin faster than ever.

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I just checked out the latest Top 5 List and I was not surprised that the other 2 positions that formerly belonged to Jeff Bezos and Bill Gates are now occupied by 2 Owners of Plexiglas Manufacturing Companies.

What is that you just said? You just said you don’t know what Plexiglas is? Where have you been?

Plexiglas is the Upright See-Through Plastic Stuff that is between every customer being checked out and the checkout clerk checking them out in every store in the Good Ole USofA. You say you are still a little hazy about Plexiglas. Let me make it a little clearer for you...

Plexiglas is the Upright See-Through Plastic Stuff that is between every customer being checked out and the checkout clerk checking them out in every store in the Good Ole USofA that the Person Checking Out and the Clerk Checking Them Out are leaning to the side of so they can talk directly to each other and wondering why that Plastic Stuff has been put between them.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Why Does Anyone Want Evil People’s Stuff?

I saw an article where there was an auction of the Personal Belongings of Ted Kaczynski the Unabomber. There are a lot of things I don’t understand and this is one of them.

Before I move on with this Blog Posting allow me to tell you how stupid we (not me) are...

 In total 58 items were sold for $232,246

Why would anyone want anything that once belonged to an acknowledged bad guy and this bad guy is one really bad guy...

• The span of his crimes was 1978 to 1995.
• He killed 3 people.
• He wounded 23 people.
• He was convicted of 10 counts of transportation, mailing, and use of bombs and 3 counts of murder.
• He has been sentenced to serve 8 consecutive life sentences with no possibility of parole.

What are the people who end up acquiring his stuff going to do with his stuff? Let’s say that Sidney Sillyperson is now the proud owner of the Unabomber’s Shoes. How is he going to go about enjoying his new old shoes?

Here are some circumstances where Sidney might convince his silly self that he has made a wise purchase...

• Sidney might put them on and wear them to grocery store but this might not work because the people he came in contact with would not know that he was wearing a really special pair of shoes.
• He might have to resort to wearing a sandwich board that called the other shopper’s attention to the fact that they were in the presence of something really special.
• Maybe he could partner with the grocery store proprietor and an announcement could be made over the store’s PA System along these lines, “At this very moment in the canned meat aisle one of your fellow shoppers is proudly wearing the Unabomber’s Actual Shoes. Get 25% off on canned corned beef while the Proud Unabomber Shoe Owner shops in the canned meat aisle. This is a limited time offer. Better get there quickly because once he makes his turn into the pasta aisle this savings opportunity is null and void.”

As for me, I would not want to own the Unabomber’s Shoes. There are things I would pay big bucks to own. For example, I would jump at the chance to acquire Jack be Nimble’s Candlestick! What a treasure that would be!

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: Here is more than you ever wanted to know about Jack be Nimble...

Jack the Pirate: The nursery rhyme Jack be Nimble refers to an English privateer (later pirate) named Black Jack Smatt. Black Jack lived on Jamaica, in Port Royal, which during the Golden Age of Piracy was known as “The Wickedest City on Earth.” Black Jack was one of the most famous pirates of the Caribbean, particularly for the reason of being notoriously smart (and quick and nimble) to escape from authorities, who in his later pirate years wanted to capture and hang him. 

Jack the Jumper: Jumping over the candlestick was an old medieval game. It originated from an ancient pagan tradition of jumping over fires. A person was supposed to jump over a burning candle so that the flame was not extinguished. This was seen as a good luck forecast.

Shoot the Leg and Only the Leg

There is a Life-Long Politician out there that is quoted as saying, “We can do this; you can ban chokeholds. But beyond that you have to teach people how to de-escalate circumstances, de-escalate. So instead of anybody coming at you, and the first thing you do is shoot to kill, you shoot them in the leg”.

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Contrary to this astute pronouncement by this Experienced Politician, neither the cops nor anyone else (except perhaps the late John Wayne) could plan to shoot people in the leg as a matter of routine practice.

Unless a target is at close range and standing perfectly still, it’s very difficult to hit a specific location on the body. In reality, people are often moving during an actual shootout, which means that legs and arms can be the hardest part of the body to hit.

David Klinger, professor of Criminology and Criminal Justice at the University of Missouri-St. Louis, who had served as a Los Angeles Police Department officer, told of a 1981 incident in which a suspect stabbed Klinger’s partner in the chest with a Butcher Knife, then jumped on him and held the Butcher Knife to his throat. After Klinger shot the suspect, piercing his aorta and left lung, the suspect still fought for another 30 seconds, requiring six officers to subdue him.

In other words, the suspect attacker was still capable of killing a person for 30 full seconds. 30 full seconds is an eternity when an attacker is on top of you with bad intent and a Butcher Knife.

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Fella has a better idea. Next time this Expert Marksman Politician is attacked by an Enraged Constituent with a Butcher Knife he should shoot the Butcher Knife out of the charging constituent’s hand. He should also be mindful enough to hit only the Butcher Knife and not the hand because, after the Enraged Constituent has seen the error of his ways, he will need a fully functioning hand to make his way in the world.

After all, Enraged Attacking Constituents are people too.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Finding Another Way...12 Year Update

When I first found this article about this Craziness out in San Francisco I went to various sites to see if it was a spoof by some other spoofer other than me. I found out it was true. I am sad to report to you, my Dear Readers, that it is still true. L

I have actually done 2 updates over the years to this story about what the crazy people in San Francisco call the Suicide Deterrent Net System.

First, I will give you the original the Blog Posting and then I will play around with this some more...

Finding Another Way

If someone wants to commit suicide, they will find another way.

October 15, 2008 | 12:51 PM

On Saturday October 11, 2008 I read where the city of San Francisco is considering a stainless steel net under the Golden Gate Bridge to prevent people from committing suicide by jumping off the bridge.

This net will cost somewhere between $40 & $50 million. What do you want to bet it will end up being closer to that $50 million figure?

There is no law that requires a person who commits suicide to jump off of the Golden Gate Bridge. If someone wants to kill himself, there are a lot of other ways to get the job done. What is next for the suicide prevention minded city council of San Francisco? …

Ø  Nets under all tall buildings, trees and ladders?

Ø  Outlawing all tall buildings, trees and ladders?

Ø Requiring all tall buildings, trees and ladders be short?

I may be one step ahead of the city council but I wonder if they have thought of the possibility that the suicide minded person might just scramble up the stainless steel net and continue their plunge? I know what they could do if the jumpers started crawling up the net, they could shoot them.

Would I kid u?
SmartFella

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The project is actually under construction. The cost has rocketed past the $40 to $50 Million mentioned above to (I feel certain this latest number is an estimate which means it’s still going higher) $211 Million!

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The good people at the Golden Gate Bridge Highway & Transportation District actually think that what they are doing is so important that the whole world wants to read about everything they do.

To help the whole world read about everything they do they have their web site set up so that everything they do it can be translated into 108 Different Languages.

Yes, the people who speak Siberian can read all about everything they do. Here is the first paragraph of what Siberians see while they are reading all about it... 

Ажурирање пројекта за спречавање самоубистава на мосту Голден Гате

12. децембра 2019

Мост Голден Гате Бридге, Хигхваи анд Транспортатион Дистрицт је у процесу изградње система за спречавање самоубистава (СДНС) за одвраћање самоубистава на мосту постављањем физичке баријере између особе и воде испод. СДНС се састоји од морске мреже од нерђајућег челика причвршћене за носаче структурних челичних мрежа постављених 20 стопа испод тротоара и пружајући се 20 стопа изнад воде.

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One last item that caught my eye is one of the 108 languages is Latin. I took 4 years of Latin in High School and I will now share all of what I know about Latin...

Latin Is a Dead Language

That means no one speaks Latin any longer and probably most of them are also dead. That being the case, the good people at the Golden Gate Bridge Highway & Transportation District could have simplified their web site and only offered 107 Language Options and no one would have been the wiser.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella