It’s Fall Again, Therefore, It’s Time For This Link...Again

http://www.comptechdoc.org/humor/garden/

 

Would God, St. Francis or I kid u?

Smartfella

I Am Updating My Posting Of December 1, 2016

I’m Being Threatened By The Medical Community – Part 2

I told you that my operation tomorrow was called:

Guided Endoscopic Sinus Surgery/ Polypectomy

During my pre-op visit to the hospital I was informed that it is more precisely a:

Fess with Image Guidance – Frontal, Maxillary, Sphenoid, Ethmoid; Polypectomy

I feel a lot better!

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

We Have A Desperate Need In The Good Ole USofA To Crank Up Our Impeachment Mechanism

There you go jumping to false conclusions again. You are thinking I am talking about The President of the United States. I am not. I am referring to the well established mechanism we have in place to impeach Cabinet Officers and Agency Heads...Or do we have? 

Actually, the talked about impeachment that is the “inspiration” for this commentary is that of our current Director of The IRS.

 

The last impeachment of a Cabinet Officer or Agency Head was War Secretary William Belknap in 1876. Can you imagine how many times a Cabinet Officer or an Agency Head has done something worthy of impeachment in the last 140 years? If they were geese, their group would referred to as a gaggle.

 

It is hard to imagine the size of that gaggle. When I started to really think about the number of Snidely Whiplashes that might have been deserving of being ridden out of town on a rail it frightened me and I decided to think about something else (I’m sure glad it is Football Season).

 

Before I switched to football, I did do some research and came up with many deserving candidates. One of the more interesting ones was Peter Fernerk who was caught sneaking out of Fort Knox with 7 bars of gold stuffed inside his left shoe.

 

Our Judicial System is so tangled up with itself that it would not surprise any of us if his lawyer, Snidely Whiplash’s brother-in-law, defended him with likes of...

Ø He did not stuff those gold bars in his shoe.

Ø He was unaware that they were stuffed in his shoe because he has had a bad limp since he was in the 4^th grade and he thought the limp he was limping was caused by his limp.

Ø Even though he did not stuff them in his shoe he is sorry he stuffed them in his shoe.

Ø He had an abusive father.

Ø He has children to support and they would miss him if he had to go to jail for stealing the gold which he did not steal.

 

Come to think of it, our IRS is held in such low esteem by the folks back home (us), each of our IRS Commissioners probably ought to have Impeachment Process put into motion within 24 hours of being appointed IRS Commissioner.

 

I heard you. You just said to yourself, that the above paragraph is silly. Stop and think about it a moment and you just might find yourself saying to yourself...Or is it?

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

I’m Being Threatened By The Medical Community

Before I tell you about The Threat, I’ll give you the fix I got myself into that set me up for The Threat.

I have not been able to taste much of anything I eat nor have I smelled much of anything smelly that came wafting my way for about 3 years.  

The second opinion doctor (I did not trust the first opinion doctor) has convinced me that I have Chronic Sinusitis and Nasal Polyps and he is going to perform an Image Guided Endoscopic Sinus Surgery/ Polypectomy on me next Wednesday.

 

What this all means I have Chronic Sinusitis and Nasal Polyps that requires him to perform an Image Guided Endoscopic Sinus Surgery/ Polypectomy on me or he has just bought a Lexus and he needs to make payments.

 

Just how does a Medical Community Threat come into all of this? Well it’s those warnings that we are being bombarded with by our Doctors, Pharmacists and Lawyers in modern Good Ole USofA.

 

I did not slam my finger in a car door but had I done so I feel fairly certain that that Pre-Surgery Warning I would have to sign off on would be pretty much the same as if I was having my Smashed Finger Nail removed.

 

Here is The Threat...

“The MATERIAL RISKS (yes, all caps) of this procedure are: Infection, allergic reaction, disfiguring scar, severe loss of blood, loss or loss of function of any limb or organ, paralysis or partial paralysis, paraplegia or quadriplegia, brain damage, cardiac arrest, or death.”

 

As if that was not enough to cause me to run out of my doctor’s office, that was followed by this...

“OTHER POSSIBLE RISKS- In addition to the material risks listed above, there may be other possible risks involved in this procedure, including, but not limited to possible: (All of these were in ALL CAPS.)

THE NEED FOR ADDITIONAL SURGERY; INFECTION; BLEEDING; HEADACHE, NASAL CONGESTION, NASAL DRAINAGE, CFS LEAK (they should not use abbreviations), DIFFICULTY URINATING AND/OR CONSTIPATION DUE TO ANESTHESIA; EYE INJURY.

 

Had enough? I’m sorry but they were not finished...

“POSSIBLE RISKS OF ANESTHESIA: Aspiration (breathing in blood or mucus), pneumonia, loose or broken teeth, cardiac arrhythmias (irregular heartbeats), hoarseness, corneal abrasion, nose bleed, hyperthermia (abnormally high body temperature), electrolyte abnormalities (blood chemistry imbalance). Please discuss these with your anesthesiologist.”

 

Yes I signed their Legal Forms but what has me most worried is in the OTHER POSSIBLE RISKS part they had to throw in “but not limited to”. Now I have to worry about everything they did not mention. I guess that’s OK because they mentioned everything…Or did they?

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Lagniappe: Maybe, if I offered to make one of his Lexus payments, he would agree to say to me, “That’s nothing. Don’t worry about it”.

Take Your Pick. You Can Read Their Silliness Or My Foolishness

Recount Craziness

This is a link to an Article on MSN about the Recount Demands that are currently all over the news...

http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/judge-rejects-steins-request-for-hand-recount/ar-AAkVJnV?li=BBmkt5R&ocid=spartandhp.

(My advice is that you not bother reading the above link. What I have to say below is less confusing and a lot more fun.)

 

This is what The Fella (me) wrote on a very similar look at this issue back in May 2010 & February 2016...

 

Too Many Members Of Congress Can’t Handle Basic Arithmetic

This may seem elementary to those of you who have gone through the 5th grade.

Lots of numbers are being thrown around our 9% Approval Rating Congress these days. I watched in amazement recently on CSPAN as one of our elected "leaders" said the following …

"My good friend from across the aisle has just voiced strong opposition to my proposal to spend $10 Billion to convert all states that are using Paper Ballots to Electronic Voting Machines and to convert all states who are using Electronic Voting Machines to Paper Ballots. I continue to be amazed at the short sightedness of the Opposition Party and their ongoing inability to handle basic arithmetic with regard to a mere $10 Billion price tag."

"I am sure that the folks back home have no problem with spending $10 Billion for such a worthy project. They understand that 10 is not a big number. 11 is bigger than 10 and so is 12. If I were asking for 18, that ought to give pause to the taxpayers as to how their money is being spent but 10 is only 10.  It is hardly more than 9."

"Beam me up Lord. I can no longer stand being around these penny-pinchers who are not smarter than a 5th grader."

Ok, I admit I made up all of the above…Or did I?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: I think my take on this issue makes a lot more sense.

Don’t Worry About The Small Stuff

We have all heard this catchy saying...Don’t Worry About the Small Stuff and Remember It’s All Small Stuff.

That’s certainly catchy but it’s the Small Stuff that we do concern ourselves with that is the real problem...

Ø Hollywood Celebrity Jennifer has left Hollywood Celebrity Chuck to go spend the rest of her life, or the next month (whichever comes first), with Hollywood Celebrity Ro Badley.

Ø There is a Basketball Game on TV, which you will just die if you don’t see, at the same time as a Football Game, that you will just die if you don’t see.

Ø You really don’t need a Second Smartphone but you have decided to buy a second Smartphone because you just got to have a blue one.

 

In the meantime our Nation is all but ignoring an Ever-Growing and Utterly Unsustainable Federal Debt. We seem to have no concern or understanding of the terms, “Ever-Growing” and “Unsustainable”.

 

Do you want to know if you are a Typical Modern American Citizen? A Typical Modern American Citizen is one that will spend 12.3 seconds looking at the screen that comes up when you click this link... http://www.usdebtclock.org/

 

I understand. You don’t have need to worry about such things because all these years you have been electing President after President and Congress after Congress to ignore such things for you.

 

As for me, I am not going to concern myself with Hollywood Celebrities, TV Sports, a Blue Smartphone or even the Federal Debt because I have other issues. Right now I am obsessed with the dire and debilitating effect that Duluth, GA’s Killer Whale Population will have on our economy, if we were to ever to get a Killer Whale Population.

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

I Am Truly In A Quandary! … Lagniappe

Today is Black Friday.

Tomorrow is Small Business Saturday.

Monday is Cyber Monday.

Do I have to do them all?

If I don’t do them all, will they know?

If I don’t do them all, am I subject to a penalty of some kind?

What if I don’t need anything?

Am I allowed to not need anything?

If I don’t need anything, am I subject to a penalty of some kind?

What do we do on Tuesday?

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Lagniappe:

My newspaper just told me that Tuesday is #GivingTuesday (Charitable Donations).

What do we do on Wednesday?

Silly Me. I Thought The News Media Was Going To Lay Low For A Bit. Was I Wrong!

Here is what passes for “News” today...

Ø What Trump did today?

Ø What Trump did not do today?

Ø What Trump would have done, if he had done something else today?

Ø Why is Trump going so slow?

Ø Who might he pick for his Cabinet?

Ø Who has he picked for his Cabinet?

Ø Who did he not pick for his Cabinet?

Ø Is he going to do bing once he takes office?

Ø Is he going to do bang once he takes office?

Ø Is he going to do boom once he takes office?

Ø Why is he waiting till January 20 to take office? Does this hesitancy indicate he is afraid he bit off more than he can chew?

Ø Would he be a better president if he had been elected in 1880?

Ø Since he is only going to take $4 in salary for his term in office, what is he going to do with the remaining $1,599,996?

Ø Since he is the first President in 25 years to not smoke weed does that mean he lacks an understanding of the common man?

Ø Since he had enough ability to play professional baseball but did not, does that mean he thought Babe Ruth was fat?

Ø What is the real reason he let Jimmie Fallon mess up his hair?

Ø If he weighed more would he be heavier?

If you think this list is too long, you are wrong. I have had it analyzed for content by the American Academy of Lists and they have certified that it woefully short when compared to the craziness that has actually taken place since 11/8/16. 

My advice to you, my dear readers, is to not watch the nightly news for 4 years.

 

Yes, it’s going to be awful!

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

An Election First...Or Is It?

2016 is the first election in United States History where the losing candidate’s supporters were disappointed that the candidate they favored had lost...Or is it?

The difference this year was that the supporters of the losing candidate actually thought the candidate they wanted to win was better than the one who won...Or was she?

 

These strong feelings justify all the crying, all the street demonstrations and all the violence that we have seen on college campuses...Or does it?

 

There was a time in the not too distant past when College Students really had something to be concerned about...

Here are a few examples from U.S. History where the losing candidate supporters did not riot but accepted the election’s outcome and moved on with their lives...

Ø Republican James A. Garfield vs. Democrat Winfield S. Hancock: After the election Hancock supporters said things like this...I am disappointed that Winfield will not be our President but President-Elect Garfield is a fine fellow and I expect he will make a great President.

Ø Republican William McKinley vs. Democrat William Jennings Bryan: After the election Bryant supporters said things like this...We fought a hard campaign for William but I could not be more pleased that he lost to a very fine gentleman in Mr. McKinley. I will rest easy tonight knowing that McKinley will be steering the Ship of State for the next 4 years.

Ø Republican William Howard Taft vs. Bull Moose Party Theodore Roosevelt vs. Democrat Woodrow Wilson: After the election Roosevelt and Taft supporters said things like this...Wow! This was sure a historical election since it had 3 major party candidates. We could not be more pleased that our candidate was bested by such a qualified candidate as is the case with President-Elect Wilson who will certainly make a fine President.

 

If you think I made all of these loser accolades up, you are correct. In fact, the supporters of the losers were devastated. The difference was they went on with their lives and, as disappointed as they were, they hoped for the best and prayed that the newly elected President would do a fine job for the Good Ole USofA.

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Lagniappe: Let us not forget the election of 1800 where Thomas Jefferson and Aaron Burr tied with the same number of Electoral Votes and the President was chosen by the House of Representatives. The House decided in favor of Jefferson because they considered him the lesser of two evils. Some were said to believe Jefferson was “less dangerous” than Burr.

Becoming A Naturalized Citizen Of The United States

There are some among us that believe that we have an obligation to take into our country anyone who wants to come into our country for whatever reason they want to come into our country.

If you take the time to read through the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services...Citizenship Through Naturalization you will not find the following bullet points spelled out as valid reasons for becoming a citizen...

Ø Wants to come to America because of a strong desire to get rid of the U.S. Constitution and to replace it with Sharia Law.

Ø Wants to come here to be closer to the places he wants to blow up.

Ø Wants to become an American Citizen because he has a very contagious disease and the people that he is making sick in his home country are telling him to go away.

 

Here are some interesting parts of Citizenship Through Naturalization that you will not hear about on the Nightly News...

Ø An applicant for naturalization must show that he or she has been and continues to be a person attached to the principles of the Constitution of the United States and well disposed to the good order and happiness of the United States during the statutorily prescribed period.​

Ø An applicant who is hostile to the basic form of government of the United States, or who does not believe in the principles of the Constitution, is not eligible for naturalization.​ 

Ø The applicant must understand that he or she is sincerely and absolutely renouncing all foreign allegiance.

Ø The applicant must understand that he or she is giving true faith and allegiance to the United States, its Constitution and Laws.

Ø The applicant must understand that he or she is discharging all duties and obligations of citizenship including military and civil service when required by the law.

Ø The applicant’s true faith and allegiance to the United States​include supporting and defending the principles of the Constitution by demonstrating an acceptance of the democratic, representational process established by the U.S. Constitution, and the willingness to obey the laws which result from that process.​

Ø The officer will review an applicant’s record and testimony during the interview on the naturalization application to determine whether he or she was ever a member of or in any way associated with (either directly or indirectly) the Communist Party, any other totalitarian party or​ a terrorist organization.​

Ø Current and previous membership in these organizations may indicate a lack of attachment to the Constitution and an indication that the applicant is not well-disposed to the good order and happiness of the United States.​  Membership in these organizations may also raise issues of​ ​lawful admission, good moral character​ or may even render the applicant removable.​

 

If you think I am making things up again and want to read for yourself, go to https://www.uscis.gov/us-citizenship/citizenship-through-naturalization and read all about it.

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Lagniappe: Many practitioners of Sharia Law believe in limiting Freedom of Religion, Freedom of Speech & Freedom of Assembly. This does not sound very U.S. Constitutional to me.

 

Lagniappe Part 2: Hey, I just went over 60,000 Page Views! That is a momentous milestone because that’s just about what Katy Perry (whoever that is?) gets in a day.

 

Did You Forget Something?

I can only assume that this sign on the front door of my local Walmart is necessary because children have been forgotten by bargain hungry shoppers dashing into the store.

 

When I saw the sign I turned around and headed back into the parking lot to see if there were any little head sticking out of car windows gasping for air. They were all over the lot!

 

I started stopping the fleeing parents and, with my Smartphone in hand, began recording interviews with them. People today love to be interviewed. Everyone I approached stopped and submitted to an interview (after brushing their hair with their hands and straightening the holes in the knee cap area of their jeans).

 

I asked each one of them the same question, “Do you know you are leaving your children in your car?” Here are the most common responses I got...

Ø What children?

Ø I know it is not right to leave them like that but Walmart is having a One Day Sale and last time they ran out of what I wanted to buy before I got to the bargain rack. I blamed the children for slowing me down. One wanted to get in the shopping cart and the other wanted to get out of the shopping cart. By the time I got that straightened out, it was too late. All the bargains had been lapped up by parents who had left their children in their cars.

Ø Why are you attacking me? They will be fine. It’s not like I was leaving my dog in my car. I would never leave my dog in my car.

 

OK, I admit I made all of this up (except for the sign)...Or did I?

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

I’m On A Roll Here ... Here Is More About The Last Day Of WWI

Hate is a natural by-product of war. This U.S. Army Artillery Captain was very angry at the Germans on the last day of WWI. This excerpt comes from the Library of Congress. It is part of a letter he wrote to his fiancée during the last six hours of the war. I underlined the most shocking part...

“November 11, 1918

We are all wondering what the Hun is going to do about Marshal Foch's proposition to him. We don't care what he does. He's licked either way he goes. For my part I'd as soon be provost marshal of Cologne or Metz or Munich or Berlin as have any other job I know of now. It is a shame we can't go in and devastate Germany and cut off a few of the Dutch kids' hands and feet and scalp a few of their old men but I guess it will be better to make them work for France and Belgium for fifty years.”

--------------------------

More from the book (11th Month, 11th Day, 11th Hour by Joseph E. Persico) I referenced in my blog posting earlier today. This is more about the above Artillery Officer...

“He put aside his letter to his fiancée and assembled the battery for action. The ammunition he had been firing so far with his French 75 mm artillery pieces had a maximum range of 8,800 meters. He had just received the new “D” shells, estimated to reach 11,500 meters and was eager to test them before the cease-fire. He figured the grid coordinates for Hermville, northeast of Verdun, at 11,000 meters distance, and began raining shells on the tiny village.”

--------------------------

Remember all of the above (letter and new longer range artillery firing) happened during the six hours between the armistice being signed at 5am and the cessation of hostilities at 11am.

 

What’s that you just said? Did you just tell me that I have not given you the name of the U.S. Army Artillery Captain? You are right. Please forgive me. His name was Harry S. Truman.

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

I Ought To Post This One Every November 11th

This Is The 2nd Year In A Row That I have Posted This Blog

This posting refers back to two separate Foolishness...Or Is It? postings on the same subject. The first reiterates the Ignorance of Mankind & the second asks you to think about a Very Sobering Question.

-------------------------

First Posting...

The Last Day of World War One

The day humankind proved it is not too smart … again.

When did the First World War end? Many of you just said to yourselves…The 11th Hour of the 11th Day of the 11th Month of 1918. It sounds like that was scripted by Hollywood.

The most awful part of the story is that the armistice was signed at 5am on November 11th but was not effective until 11am and the fighting continued for those last six hours between 5am and 11am.

After the war, in a Congressional Hearing, General Pershing blamed Marshal Foch but many said that, at the time, Pershing appeared to be gung ho about the last assaults.

These were full frontal assaults as vicious as any on any other day of the war.

The Germans were shocked when the assaults started but defended against them with all that they had.

During these six hours, thousands of men were wounded or killed fighting for land on which they could have casually strolled smoking a cigarette at 11:01am on the 11th Day of the 11th Month of 1918.

I wish I were kidding you.
Smartfella

-------------------------

Second Posting...

No Foolishness, As My Mind Wanders Through This One

After you read below, I will invite you to ask yourself a very sobering question.

I published “The last day of World War One” commentary on April 23, 2008. It was about how WWI continued for six hours after the armistice was signed at 5 A.M. on November 11, 1918.

 

At present I am reading a book by Joseph E. Persico entitled 11th Month, 11th Day, 11th Hour. The quoted excerpt that follows is from page 3 of this book…

"The captain read the message twice. It must be a mistake. True, the night before, the U.S. 26th Division had received Field Order 105 to attack at 9:30 this morning. But at 9:10, just as they had been checking their ammunition and fixing their bayonets, word came that the armistice had been signed. Hostilities were to cease at 11 A.M. The attack had been cancelled. And here was another message telling the captain that the assault had been reinstated. His watch showed 10:30. A half hour remained in the war."

 

Now for the sobering question ... If you were this captain, what would you have done?

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Lagniappe: The men of the 26^th Division under that Captain’s command went over the top at 10:35. There were 25 minutes left in the war.

 

Aw, Come On, Man!

Don’t get mad at me because I peck out the name “Bernie Sanders”.

If you dislike Bernie, don’t worry this Blog Posting does not praise him. If you like Bernie, don’t worry this Blog Posting does not criticize him.

No, this Blog Posting is a shout out at the News Media of every ilk (I just love using the word “ilk”) Liberal or Conservative that will not leave me (us) alone for even a short period of time.

 

Today I am at the High School Track trying to keep my heart from attacking me and my phone interrupts my heavy breathing with a News Alert to tell me that Bernie Sanders will not rule out a run for the Presidency of the Good Ole USofA in 2020.

 

Aw, Come On, World! Leave us alone for a little while! It has only been 2 days since the culmination of the harangue you have been dumping on us for the last year and a half! There must be something else you can find to talk about!

 

Oops! The late Walter Cronkite just came into my computer cave and started verbally attacking me saying I was an awful person because I did not want to be kept informed. He had me on the ropes for a bit but I gathered myself and told him, “Aw, come on, Walter, enough is enough! I am tired of all things election related. Leave me alone!”

 

That being said, the Most Trusted Ghost in the World disappeared in a puff of smoke and I do not expect to see him again...Or will I?

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Lagniappe:

Some Synonyms for the word “Harangue”… Tirade, Diatribe, Lecture, Polemic, Rant, Fulmination, Broadside, Attack or Onslaught.

Yes, my dear reader, the last year and a half was all of these!