Smudges Are Everywhere

Have you noticed how many times you go to something on your handheld devices that looks interesting, but once you get there, you find that you can’t see much of anything because there are smudges all over everything of interest?

There was a video recently of a high school student who had pulled a knife in school and was causing chaos but all you could see was the chaos…

• There was shouting like, “He got a knife!” repeatedly.
• The were people running around very fast.
• I am not sure if there were people running around or not because all I could see was Smudges sliding around very fast.
• I say Sliding Around because I could not see the smudged people’s feet because these were Complete Smudges which means the feet of the Smudges were smudged also.
• I may be wrong in what I said in the above bullet because I’m not entirely sure if Smudges have feet.
• Did I say there was Chaos?
• Did I say there was repeated shouting, “He got a knife!”?
• Yes, I know I did but I’m saying it again because the chaos is still with me.

What I did not get from the video was anything concrete like…

• Did he stab anyone?
• Did he get away?
• Were they not able to identify him at all because he was smudged and he was completely obscured?
• Did he simply go back to his seat and sit down and read one of those long apologies that he got from the Internet’s Apologies R Us Web Site that all those Hollywood Stars use so often?
• Did he die because of Smudge Suffocation?
• Did his parents sue everyone in the video for chasing him all around and getting him all upset.
• Did his parents sue everyone in the video contending their son was not responsible for all of the bad things he did because he suffered from bad parenting?

All this confusion reminds me of the baby abduction I saw several years ago that was recorded by street security cameras…

• A mother was walking down the street with a baby in her arms and her other two small walking children.
• A bad guy ran up and took the baby from her and started running up the street.
• The two walking children started chasing the bad guy up the street.
• The security cameras recorded the bad guy with baby in his arms and the two walking (now running) children in hot pursuit.
• Are you thinking, this is great because the bad guy was going to be easy to identify because he was being recorded as he ran...Or was he?
• The TV Station smudged out the bad guy’s running face!

Was the TV Station afraid that it was going to be sued by the bad guy? ... That could not be! ... Or could that not be?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Is It, A Republic, If You Can Keep It! … Or Is It, A Toothbrush, If You Can Keep It?

Upon exiting the Constitutional Convention Benjamin Franklin was approached by a group of citizens asking what sort of government the delegates had created. His answer was: "A republic, if you can keep it."

I just bought a high-powered toothbrush that is so wonderful the manufacturer of the toothbrush felt obligated to charge me a lot of money.

As is usually the case, the toothbrush comes with an Owner’s Manual. Because someone back in times past invented lawyers, the Owner’s Manual starts off with page after page of Threats (If you don’t read and abide by these threats, you could be seriously injured or seriously die) and Warnings (A bunch of warnings about everything you can imagine and a bunch you could never have imagined) ...

The Warnings… There are 12 Warnings. I will not list all 12 but I must admit that I am a bit baffled by number 11… “The maximum altitude of use is 4500 meters”.

The Medical Warnings… There are 5 Medical Warnings. I found number 4 very interesting… “If you have medical concerns, consult your doctor before you use this appliance”. Medical Concerns? What could possibly medically concern you about a toothbrush?

The Battery Safety Instructions… There are 13 Battery Safety Instructions. I started to not even look at these, but by now I had become a bit unnerved and confused, so I looked. I wish I had not looked. I saw things like…

>Do not place this product or its battery in a microwave oven (I ask you, who is going to take the battery out of their toothbrush and put it into a microwave oven?

>Keep product and battery away from fire (No kidding!)

>Do not expose the battery to direct sunlight (This greatly disappointed me because I had been so looking forward to brushing my teeth outdoors).

I was compelled to analyze the above bullet point in more depth because this one is Foolishness of The Highest Order…
     >To expose the battery to direct sunlight it must be removed from the toothbrush.
     >Getting the battery out of the toothbrush is a herculean task.
     >The Owner’s Manual has 2 pages of instructions explaining how to remove the battery.
     >The removal instructions are laid out into 17 separate paragraphs.
     >To remove the battery, one needs a towel or cloth, a hammer, and a flat-head screw driver.
     >At one point you are told, “Hold the top of the handle with one hand and strike the handle housing 0.5 inches above the handle end. Strike firmly with a hammer on all 4 sides to eject the end cap. Note: You may have to hit on the end several times to break the internal snap connections.”

    You should understand that your toothbrush is now broken and will never work again. Which make one wonder why you went to all this effort to expose your battery to direct sunlight…Or will you wonder?

Wow! The lawyers who had assembled this Owner’s Manual must have been afraid of their collective own shadows!

************

This next one got my Foolishness…Or Is It? juices flowing and inspired me to write this Blog Posting…

Changes or modifications not expressly approved by us could void the user’s authority to operate the equipment.

What the heck does this mean?

Could they really void my authority to use my own very expensive toothbrush?!

This causes my now completely confused mind to wonder…

• I thought because I had paid for my toothbrush I not only had the right to use it, but I also had the right to keep it if I wanted to keep it.
• Does this mean they have a right to come into my house and take my toothbrush away from me?
• How would they know I did what I was not allowed to do, especially since they have now confused me to the point that I can’t figure out what it is that I’m not allowed to do?
• If I am in mid-brush, when they break down my door, will I be allowed to finish my brush?
• This makes me think I really ought to only use my toothbrush outdoors, at least that would save me the expense of having to replace my broken-down door.
• Is it possible that all these words I don’t understand add up to a Preemptive Breaking and Entering Search and Seizure Authorization?

I wish Benjamin Franklin was not dead. I’m beginning to feel that he’s the only one I can trust.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella