Are You Wise? If You Are, Heed My Words. What Are My Words? Don’t Dare Go Driving Around Up There!

From the get-go of this Blog Posting I will admit, last month I was not wise because I was Silly. I actually drove around in the Northeast of the Good Ole USofA.

That begs this question, how do those that drive to and from work in the Northeast make it back home alive day after day? 

Said another way...

• I wonder how many times a year does a Northeastern Driver call into work and say, “I’m terribly sorry but I can’t come in today. I’m afraid to go out there”. 
• The office says, “What do you mean ‘out there’? What are you afraid of?” 
• The scaredy cat says, “Them!” 
• The office says, “Oh, I understand”.

Potholes…

I now believe that every pothole in the Good Ole USofA is in the Northeast. There is a lot of money to be made by a Smartfella who opens a series of Repair Shops named, Alignments "Я" Us. 

On the other hand, it may be that they are not bothered by potholes. They drive so fast that their tires do not sink into potholes. They just zip over them.

They All Hated Me...

It was quickly obvious to me why every other driver around me was mad at me. It was because I was only going 15 miles per hour over the posted speed limit. If you only drive 15 miles per hour over the posted speed limit, every other driver will blow his horn as he speeds past you, and he will glare at you as he goes by.

State Governments Actually Employ Horn Blowers to Blow Their Horns…

Allow me to explain... 

• These Horn Blowers are everywhere.
• I probably can’t prove they are everywhere but in my personal experience I can testify that there was always one of them behind me.
• The Departments of Transportation equip the Horn Blower’s cars with electronic devices mounted on their dashboards that constantly scan for drivers who dare to think while they drive.

Allow me to explain... 

• If you are a driver who comes up against a toll booth and for a slit second you get confused and don't know what to do, one of these horn blowing drivers is certain to be behind you and he is certain to angrily blow his angry horn at you because you dared to pause and think what you should do next. 
• The Rule of the Road up here is...When in Doubt, Smash the Accelerator!

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: The mugging is so bad up there that the muggers are offering the mugged half of what they lost in the mugg, if the mugged will walk the mugger safely back home.