The Demise Of The 30 Second Commercial

It seems like only yesterday that the 30 Second TV Commercial was always there in front of us. We may not have always paid that much attention to it but it was there bringing us information about things we might want to buy, whether we needed to buy those things or not.

All of a sudden they were gone but Fella is here to tell you they that they are not gone. Did you just say, “Fella, did it again. Again he confused us again”.

OK, I get your drift and, even though I promised in the past not to confuse you in the future, I am apologizing to you in the present and admitting I will probably confuse you in the future but, as in the past, I will always do my best to unconfuse you.

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The 30 Second TV Commercial is still seen by us every day as we watch TV but now they only lasts 10 seconds. This, of course, all came about because the TV Networks had raised the cost of their 30 Second TV Commercial so high that the advertisers could no longer afford to pay to run the 30 Second TV Commercials, so they cut them down to 10 Seconds.

Now you are thinking that Fella has lost it (again) because you are thinking, if it is a 10 Second TV Commercial how can it be a 30 Second TV Commercial?

I’m ready for you thinking. It is still a 30 Second TV Commercial because, even though it only lasts 10 seconds, it has all the words you would have heard if the 30 Second, but now 10 Second TV Commercial, had still been a 30 Second TV Commercial.

This, My Dear Reader, is why you often say after you listen to 10 Second TV Commercial things like this...

Ø What did he just say?

Ø Hazel, (provided your wife, partner or significant other is Named Hazel) did you get that?

Ø I’m not sure what the name of the product he was just selling to me was.

Ø Did the announcer mention the name of the product he was selling?

Ø I’m sorry but my ears just don’t hear that fast!

I am sorry to tell you that it’s going to get worse. That will happen when the Networks start charging as much for a 10 Second TV Commercial as they used to charge for a 30 Second TV Commercial and the advertisers respond by stopping the buying 10 Second TV Commercials and start buying 5 Second TV Commercials.

When that happens, the Late Paul Harvey is going to come into my Computer Cave and say to me, “Fella, I would like to introduce you to a late friend of mine. Sergeant Shultz, meet Fella?”

And Sergeant Shultz will say, “Now I really know nothing!”

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Overnight Fix

As Pogo almost said (yea, go ahead and Google Pogo), “We See The Problem And It Is Us”

Pogo’s actual quote was: ”We Have Met the Enemy and He Is Us”

I usual I see the Problem and, as usual, I have a Fix to the Problem.

The Problem is our Administrations of Higher Learning don’t know what to do. While they try and figure out what to do about the consternation and mayhem on their college campuses they are negotiating with the consternation and mayhem creating students controlling their out-of-control campuses.

Fella (hidden inside his potted plant outfit) overheard one of Administration Versus Student Negotiations and it went like this (in bullet point format) ...

Ø Administration: We understand that you want to burn down 5 of our college’s buildings.

Ø Students: That’s correct.

Ø Administration: Are you open to negotiation on this issue?

Ø Students: What’s your offer?

Ø Administration: Would you be agreeable to burning down only 3?

Ø Students: No!

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Fella’s Fix:

The Administrations of Higher Learning could fix this problem overnight if our 9% Approval Rated Congress would pass a law that said that any Administration of Higher Learning that can’t provide an Education to it’s Tuition Paying Students has to Reimburse In Full All Tuition Already Paid for the Current College Session to the Current Paying Student’s Parents.

Fella thinks the Administrations of Higher Learning would fix the problem the day after this law is passed.

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On the other hand, do you see the problem with Fella’s Fix of the Problem?

We have gotten to this low point in our once storied history where laws passed by our congress are being ignored by our congress. This means Fella’s Fix Is No Fix At All. It also means that Fella has given up and he has this message for the Good Ole USofA...

You Figure It Out. I’m Done.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe:

I'll tell you, son, the minority got us out-numbered!

Quote from Congersman Frog from Pogo

I’m Always Running Into Strange Happenings

 

I don’t know what it is about me but Strange Happenings are always happening all around me. It may be because I notice things. Maybe that’s not the case at all. Maybe you would have noticed this one because this one was really strange. I’m getting ahead of myself again. Please allow me to explain...

I was in a diner I like to dine in when I noticed this Strange Happening. A couple of men had come in and sat at a table close to me. That’s not strange. The strange part was they had been there long enough to be into their desserts and they had not said a thing to each other the whole time they were there.

You may not know this about me but, besides being a Noticer, I am also Nosey. I asked Jake, the owner of the diner, what was going on. He immediately got a sad look on his face and, in bullet point format, he started telling me the whole sad story...

• The older of the two men is the boss.
• He is a great guy.
• He believes in getting to know his employees.
• For at least a decade he has been bringing his employees into the diner for a Get To Know Each Other Lunch.
• He has 10 employees and he brings them in, one at a time, eager to get to know all about them.
• Over this time the Federal Government has been piling on a List of Subjects that an employer is not allowed to ask an employee.
• The Great Guy Boss recently shared the Don’t Dare Ask List with Jake.
• Jake took the list out of his apron and shared it with me...
  >The total Don’t Dare Asks List is now up to 20.
  >Jake had yellow highlighted the 8 ones the Great Guy Boss told him were the most problematic to him...
  
  1. Questions about your race, religion, skin color, sexual orientation, gender identity or disability...
  >The Great Guy Boss said he understood the need for these restrictions but he had a hard time of it when he had to go to a court hearing because he asked a disabled employee to not leave his wheelchair in the aisle between the desks. He has a small office for his 10 employees to work in and the wheelchair was causing other employees to climb over the desks on either side of the wheelchair to get to the rest room. Some very important paperwork had been stepped on and crinkled up and 2 employees had fallen off the desks and had been out of work for several days each before they could return to the office. The Great Guy Boss said all he had done was ask the disabled employee if it was OK to have someone move the wheelchair so as not to hinder access to the rest room. He was shocked to hear his disabled employee shout back at him, “Are you saying I’m disabled?”
  2. Details about your marital status...
  >The Great Guy Boss said he got in trouble with this one when he asked his newly married employee, “Did the wedding ceremony go well?”
  3. Your age.
  4. Your criminal history.
  5. Your weigh or appearance...
  > The Great Guy Boss said he realized his little joke was not well accepted when his Get To Know Each Other Lunch Guest threw his cannoli at him after he said, “For a fat guy you don’t sweat much.”
  6. Your immigration status.
  7. Your plans for vacation...
  > The Great Guy Boss said he was only trying to show concern for his employee when he asked, “Are you sure Bungee Jumping is safe?”
  8. Your Medical History...
  > The Great Guy Boss said he got a black eye when he asked, “I understand you were hit by a truck over the weekend. Are you OK?”

Jake said, “Now you understand why the Great Guy Boss is reluctant to say anything at his Get To Know Each Other Lunches. He just sits there, chews slowly and pays the check when their meals have been eaten. I believe he is really a Great Guy. I also believe he longs for the days before the 20 Things Your Boss Cannot Ask You List was published on the Internet. Probably his greater fear is the fact that he is certain the 20 List is still growing.”

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

I know how to stop all the Violence, Mayhem and Blowing Up of Things in the Middle East

I know I don't have to remind you that I am The Noticer. Here is a recent notice that I noticed but you would not have noticed even if you had run across what I noticed...

The Middle East Terrorist we see on television every night are always driving around in Small Toyota Pick Up Trucks with a whole bunch of armed to the teeth terrorist in the bed of their Small Toyota Pickup Trucks and 50 Caliber Machine Guns mounted in the bed of their Small Toyota Pickup Trucks.

They and their Small Pickup Trucks are responsible for all the Mayhem, Violence and the Blowing Up of Things we see on the Nightly News.

As Usual, Fella has a Fix. It is as simple as this...

• Tell Toyota they are not allowed to build any more Small Pickup Trucks.
• Tell Toyota to tell the Terrorist that there is a Return To The Factory Recall in effect that requires the return of all Small Pickup Trucks to the Original Assembly Plant for replacement of the 50 Caliber Machine Gun Bracket.
• Once all the trucks are back in Toyota’s hands, Toyota can send a text message to all terrorists and tell them that they have been tricked and their Small Pickup Trucks will not be returned to them.

It won’t be long before the terrorist are going to be all tuckered out from walking all over the place carrying all those 50 Caliber Machine Guns, Handguns, AK 47s, Explosives and Ammunition. They are going to be so tired they are going to stop with all that Violence, Mayhem and Blowing Up Of Things. Letters the likes of this will be flying all over the dessert, “Dear mom, if I promise not to blow you up, can I come home? I've had it with all this Violence, Mayhem And Blowing Up Of Things. It's not as much fun as it used to be. I’m going to open a kiosk in the mall to sell dates and new and used magic carpets”.

There you have it the Violence, Mayhem and Blowing Up of Things Up In the Middle East will be a thing of the past before they know what hit them and they are going to be so tired they won't hit back.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella