Little Known Facts

First Little Known Fact

Since the beginning of the Mueller Investigation (May 17, 2017) the word “Mueller” has been used in news reports 83,592,412 times.

Second Little Know Fact

The number of words that Mueller has been reported to have said in news reports is exactly Zero (give or take a Zero).

Don’t ask how I know the 83,592,412 number above. Let it suffice to say I have my sources and besides, after all these years of reading my Foolishness, you know better than to question me...Or do u?

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Trivial Trivia

We often hearken (whatever that is) back to the Good Old Days. Everything was better in the Good Old Days.

 

According to Time Magazine, in July 2007 it was reported in the news that...

Ø John Kerry (remember him?) orders his Philly Cheese Steak Sandwiches with Provolone instead of Cheese Whiz.
> This was being played up by the News Media as demonstrating his Remoteness from the Average American.

Ø Mitt Romney (remember him?) had spent $300 on a Makeup Artist.
>This was being played up by the News Media as demonstrating how out of touch he was from Average American Voters.

Ø Al Gore (remember him?) wore Earth Tones during his campaign for president because he was heeding the advice of a Political Consultant.
>This was being played up by the News Media as demonstrating his Insecurity as a Candidate.

Ø John Edwards (remember him?) had just embarked on 12-city tour to highlight the persistence of poverty in America after getting a $400 Haircut (I sure hope for that price he got them all cut and not just one).
>This was being played up by the News Media as demonstrating his inability to relate to Low-Income Americans.

 

The really bad news about the 4 Bullet Points above is the Good Ole USofA was certainly having really Big Problems back in 2007, same as we are having really big problems now, but Trivial Trivia was bigger news to the News Media than Big Problem News was.

 

Whatever your political leanings are, all of us would probably agree that the world we live in today is really in deep trouble. If you agree with this Doom and Gloom, I am about to make you feel even worse.

 

July 2007 is 11 years and 4 months ago. Stop and think about this. 11 years and 4 months from now we will be looking back at today and calling today the Good Old Days because we always look back at the past and look around at the present and say it was better in the past, probably because it actually was better in the past.

 

Does this Blog Posting make you feel better?

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

I Know I Am Treading On Thin Ice With This One

I am on thin ice with this one only because in the Good Ole USofA today we are not allowed to try and make sense or even joke about the use of “He” and “She”. Please do these 3 things before you attach a scathing comment to this Blog Posting...

Ø See the humor.

Ø Read what the Blog Posting has to say before you stop reading and start writing your scathing comment.

Ø See the humor.

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I understand it is only a matter of time before we will have Female Presidents of the Good Ole USofA .

 

When that happens it will no longer be correct to say things like, “All of the men who have served as President in the past” instead, it will be proper and correct to say, “All of the men and women who have served as President in the past”.

 

Until that time, it is still correct to say, “All of the men who have served as President in the past” because there has never been any female Presidents who have served as President.

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They Roam the Halls of Congress

At this point I wish to state an undeniable fact...

Some of Our Senators Are Mental Midgets

One such Senator is roaming the halls of Congress at this time because I just read where he said (Note: I did not say “he or she said” because he is only one person and he is a he), “The President deserves to have a Secretary of State that agrees with him or her in general on a foreign-policy direction”. (Note: I did the underlining.)

 

Come on, Senator, we only have one President at this time and, as unfair as that may be, he happens to be a he...again.

 

Senator, you would be correct if you were speaking in general terms and you said, “A President deserves to have a Secretary of State that agrees with him or her in general on a foreign-policy direction”. (Note: I did the underlining.)

 

Until such time as we actually have had Presidents that have been a She, it is not proper to refer to all our past Presidents as “He or She”. Therefore, when we have actually have had Females as Presidents and you want to say, “The President deserves to have a Secretary of State that agrees with him or her in general on a foreign-policy direction”, you will then have my permission to remove “Mental Midget” from your Senatorial Business Card.

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

One Call...That’s All!

According to the Wall Street Journal we now have a problem in the Good Ole USofA that we have not had in a long time...

The Labor Department reported roughly a million more job openings than unemployed Americans at the end of September. The unemployment rate is at a 49-year low of 3.7%.

Because of this severe shortage of Unemployed to fill Job Openings in the Good Ole USofA many companies are hiring sight unseen based on phone interviews alone. Sometimes this involves only a single phone call. There are even cases where the interview is entirely conducted by a Computer.

 

Allow me to paint a picture for your Mind’s Eye (whatever that is)...

Ø The Chairman of the Board and the Chief Operating Officer of a Major Mega Bucks International Corporation are seen standing in the lobby of their Palatial International Headquarters.

Ø They are staring intently at their newest employee on her first day on the job.

Ø It is evident that they are perplexed because many visitors are standing back at a distance shouting at the new employee as if they are afraid to get any closer to her.

Ø Their newest employee is smiling and going about her assigned duties but there are several things that are different about her when compared to employees who have held that same position in the past...
>She has several Tattoos on her head, neck and arms like a Snake across her forehead whose tail drifts down her nose and appears to disappear into her left nostril, a large Skull and Crossbones on her right cheek, a 4 inch long depiction of Red Human Lips on her Neck, several large Ants on her Left Cheek, Chinese Lettering on both arms that read a message (unknown to her) from the Tattoo Artist, “I can’t believe this jerk actually paid me to tattoo all this craziness all over her body”.
>Her Nose has a large Gold Ring hanging out of it.
>Her Lips have smaller Silver Rings piercing them in seven places.
>Her Ear Lobes are stretched and have Quarters inserted in them.

 

Since I had my Potted Plant Outfit on I got close enough to the perplexed Chairman to overhear him saying to the CEO, “I don’t want abandon our One Call Phone Hiring Initiative but maybe we should have put her into a position other than Company Receptionist?”  

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At another location in the article a Transportation Company’s Vice President of Driver Employment said...

The Labor Shortage is so acute we have to be able to make an informed decision as quickly as possible.

I have been known to quibble. Allow me to quibble about this VP’s statement. I take issue with two words...“Informed Decision”...Or is it?

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Attacking A Problem Where There Is No Problem Is A Problem

This first link below is my Blog Posting from March 29, 2018 which pointed out the Absurdity going on in Silly Ole England (Formerly known as Merry Ole England) about their creation of a Ministry for Loneliness...

http://forii.blogspot.com/2018/03/the-united-kingdom-takes-bull-by-horns.html

 

The next link below shows what happens when Goofiness is allowed to run rampant. This woman has now become a victim of her government’s Ministry for Loneliness.

 

Because her government thinks there is a problem she sees this same problem and the problem is verified in her mind (who is she to argue with her Prime Minister?) and the problem has now grown to the point where it is dominating her life.

 

This woman is not in Prison in Solitary Confinement...

Ø She has 3 children.

Ø She is 23 years old.

Ø She is attractive.

Ø She has a mother who talks to her.

Ø She has a brother who talks to her.

Ø She has a Super Market full on people who talk to her.

Ø Everyone always sees her as a happy and bubbly person.

Ø She has an ex-husband she can argue with anytime she wants to argue.

Ø Her Prime Minister says she has a whole country full of lonely people just waiting to interact with someone.

 

This woman is obsessed with herself...

Ø She says she hasn’t made a new friend for over a decade.

Ø She says she can’t have proper conversations with her children.

Ø She sees it as an extra problem that her children go to school and, therefore, are not around to have not-proper conversations with her.

 

There is hope. Facebook may come to her rescue because, after speaking openly about her loneliness, she has been inundated with messages from people looking to be friends with her.

 

I’m going to stop now. I am beginning to feel lonely. I am all alone in my computer room with no one to talk to and it is giving me an eerie feeling.

 

Read as much as you can stand about this lonely woman’s plight, but I warn you, you may start to get an eerie feeling...

https://metro.co.uk/2018/11/13/mother-says-shes-britains-loneliest-woman-and-visits-supermarkets-to-chat-to-strangers-8133291/

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Oh My Gosh! Am I About To Defend Our Present Poor Performing Congress?

I would like to use this Blog Posting to point out that, in addition to the zany happenings in our present day Congresses, there have been other periods of Congressional Folly.

 

Way back in President Grover Cleveland’s terms in office (he had two terms in office separated by 4 years out of office) Congress went over the edge about awarding Individual Pensions…

Ø Congress had started passing Private Relief Bills by giving out Individual Pensions on a grand scale.

Ø On many a Friday afternoon they would take bunches of these bills and pass them with a single vote.

Ø We should count our blessings because our modern day Congresses do not work on Fridays because this is proof they can do a lot of damage on Fridays.

Ø Incredibly, 55% of all bills introduced in the senate in its 1885 to 1887 session were such Private Pension Bills.

Ø President Cleveland started vetoing these Private Pension Bills right away.

Ø In his first term he vetoed 220 of them.

Ø He still holds the record for the largest number of vetoes by a President.

Ø Congress probably attacked him for being heartless but you and I know better...Or do we?

Ø I pecked out, “Or do we?” above because I just heard 12 of you say, “That sounds like a good thing to do!”

Ø  One pension that he vetoed was for a widow who claimed that her husband had died in the Civil War.

Ø Cleveland pointed out to Congress that the dead husband had become dead in 1882 and the Civil War had ended in 1865. (We should not be too hard on these past Congresses because they did not have the ability to Google Civil War Facts like our present day Congresses can.)

Ø It was later discovered that the dead husband had died choking on meat while gorging himself during a drunken spree.

 

Way To Go Grover!

 

Do you feel better now that you know that other Congresses were as bad as our present Congresses?

 

I do feel a little bit better but I’m still scared.

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

I Ought To Post This One Every November 11th

This is The 4^th Year in a Row That I have Posted This Blog

Someone once said, “You can’t beat a dead horse”. (Actually, you can but you are wasting your time because the horse can’t take notice of what you are doing to him.) Someone else (probably me) said, “If the horse is dead, get off the horse”. I’m going to ignore what that someone (probably me) said and do this Blog Posting at least this one more time because this is the 100^th Anniversary of the End of WW1 and it seems appropriate.

 

This posting refers back to two separate Foolishness...Or Is It? Postings on the same subject. The first reiterates the Ignorance of Mankind and the second asks you to think about a Very Sobering Question.

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First Posting...

The Last Day of World War One

The day humankind proved it is not too smart … again.

When did the First World War end? Many of you just said to yourselves…The 11th Hour of the 11th Day of the 11th Month of 1918. It sounds like that was scripted by Hollywood.

The most awful part of the story is that the armistice was signed at 5am on November 11th but was not effective until 11am and the fighting continued for those last six hours between 5am and 11am.

After the war, in a Congressional Hearing, General Pershing blamed Marshal Foch but many said that, at the time, Pershing appeared to be gung ho about the last assaults.

These were full frontal assaults as vicious as any on any other day of the war.

The Germans were shocked when the assaults started but defended against them with all that they had.

During these six hours, thousands of men were wounded or killed fighting for land on which they could have casually strolled smoking a cigarette at 11:01am on the 11th Day of the 11th Month of 1918.

I wish I were kidding you.
Smartfella

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Second Posting...

No Foolishness, As My Mind Wanders Through This One

After you read below, I will invite you to ask yourself a very sobering question.

I published “The last day of World War One” commentary on April 23, 2008. It was about how WWI continued for six hours after the armistice was signed at 5 A.M. on November 11, 1918.

 

At present I am reading a book by Joseph E. Persico entitled 11th Month, 11th Day, 11th Hour. The quoted excerpt that follows is from page 3 of this book…

"The captain read the message twice. It must be a mistake. True, the night before, the U.S. 26th Division had received Field Order 105 to attack at 9:30 this morning. But at 9:10, just as they had been checking their ammunition and fixing their bayonets, word came that the armistice had been signed. Hostilities were to cease at 11 A.M. The attack had been cancelled. And here was another message telling the captain that the assault had been reinstated. His watch showed 10:30. A half hour remained in the war."

 

Now for the sobering question ... If you were this captain, what would you have done?

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Lagniappe: The men of the 26^th Division under that Captain’s command went over the top at 10:35. There were 25 minutes left in the war.

I Don’t Believe In The Weather

Added the Lagniappe on 1/30/19

(But did not republish the entire post)

The Weather is so confusing. It’s like all of us are attached to a rope and we are being jerked all around...

Ø It’s looks like a beautiful day outside today but we are told not to go outside because there is a Code Orange Smog Alert waiting to attack us out there.
>What’s a Code Orange Smog Alert? I hear that in China, when it’s a Code Orange Smog Alert, the weatherman gets all excited and tells his huddled viewers to rush out and enjoy the fine weather while it lasts.

Ø It’s Summer but the weatherman says it is too hot to go outside.
>Come on, man, it’s only Summer! It happens every year in the Summertime. It’s supposed to be hot. Without hot it would not be Summer.

Ø Again it looks like a beautiful day outside but the weatherman tells us there is Humidity out there and we should stay inside where it is safe.
>In Las Vegas the Las Vegans are warned to stay inside when the Humidity gets above 20%.

Ø During a recent football game the announcers said it was a Very Hot Day and the players were “feeling the effects of the heat”.
>This caused me to shout at my TV something along these lines... “Come on, announcer guys, it’s only 82 degrees! That’s not hot!”

Ø Wind chill factor is defined as the effects of Wind and Temperature on Bare Skin.
>Useless information! We don’t go out naked on cold days.

Ø Wikipedia has a lot to say about what the Heat Index is. The first paragraph is pasted below.

>If you think I am going to try and explain what this means, you are wrong, but I am sure you will understand what it is...Or am I? “The heat index (HI) or humiture is an index that combines air temperature and relative humidity, in shaded areas, to posit a human-perceived equivalent temperature, as how hot it would feel if the humidity were some other value in the shade. The result is also known as the "felt air temperature", "apparent temperature", "real feel" or "feels like". For example, when the temperature is 90 °F with 70% relative humidity, the heat index is 106 °F. This heat index temperature has an implied (unstated) humidity of 20%. This is the value of relative humidity for which the heat index number equals the actual air temperature.”

Ø How many Storms of the Century are there permitted in a Century?
>This was really an attention getter when we first heard our weatherman hit us with this one but the 2^nd through the 52^nd (and counting) is not so scary.

Ø The Windblown and Rain Drenched Man in the Middle of the Street shouting at us has come to be a joke. We have all seen videos of this poor soul holding onto his hat while others calmly walk around behind him but this example below beats the Windblown Man by several notches higher up on the Silly Scale.
>My Brother-In-Law lives in Thomasville, GA. The night of that last big storm I saw a Weather Guy on my TV standing in the middle of a street in Thomasville and he was screaming at me about Thomasville coming apart at the seams. The next day I asked my Brother-In-Law if Thomasville had been destroyed by the Storm and he replied, "What Storm?"

I could go on and on about this one but I’ll simply leave it to the Weatherman to go on and on. This Blog Posting is not going to stop him and he is not paying any attention to me (or you) anyway because he is busy scanning the horizon for the next Storm of the Century.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella 

Added 1/30/19

Lagniappe: This is an addendum to the 5^th Bullet Point above...

Ø We are being programmed to worry about things we never knew existed until a short while ago. 

Ø A good example is, in only the last few days, we have been “educated” about the awful effects of the Polar Vortex. 

Ø This appears to be the Wind Chill Factor on Steroids. 

Ø Again, the Weather People are trying to scare us. 

Ø Wind Chill Factor is defined as the effect of Wind and Temperature on Bare Skin. 

Ø Now I ask you, Who In The Heck Is Gonna Go Out Into A Polar Vortex Naked?

For Any Organization To Get Off The Ground There Has To Be Growing Pains

There Is Not a Scintilla of Humor in This Posting

All new organizations have to start at the beginning and the beginning is not an easy place to start from. There are bumps in the road and usually a major crash or two or more before the kinks get ironed out.

 

The fledgling organization I want to blog about today is going through the first paragraph above and we wish them luck...Or do we?

 

Here come my bullets...

Ø The First Organization Meeting quickly dispensed with routine matters before the senior leadership got down to business.

Ø One top official said their Teamwork and Recruitment needed improvement.

Ø The leaders created a catchphrase for Widening Its Influence and Improving Cash Flow called “The Program”.

Ø A Meeting Leader told the group that they are going to need Total Cooperation and, if they are going to succeed, they will have to Work Together.

Ø For years, their impact on the U.S. was local—confined to specific neighborhoods and cities scattered across the country.

Ø That was the old way but they plan to put the old way behind them and Branch Out.

Ø Already their influence has started to Grow.

Ø Also they are growing their ability to leverage its network of local franchises into a Cohesive National Brand.

Ø A series of trial runs have already been conducted that show how they can be successful in pushing to make their mainstream leap by Streamlining Its Management Structure and creating Uniform Standards, much like any multinational company.

Ø The U.S. Government has not looked favorably upon their Efforts to Organize.

Ø On the other hand, there are Members of Congress in favor of looser restrictions say the Government’s Negative Rhetoric Is Overblown.

Ø Despite these road blocks Membership Has Grown by several thousand members over the past decade or so and it now Stretches To At Least 40 States and the District of Columbia.

Ø Dues range from $15 to $30 a month, largely paid by members who work as laborers, construction workers or dishwashers and most of this money is wired out of the country.

Ø The group was founded in the 1980s in and around Los Angeles by immigrants, who had fled their country’s civil war.

Ø Their goal now is to Begin Consolidating Members under a Single Cohesive Leadership Structure.

 

My bullets will now change and you will see that I have not been talking about Widgets International but about MS-13...

Ø MS-13 is looking to move into territory once occupied by the Italian Mafia and now held by Mexican Drug Cartels.

Ø One of the first new rules shows how they are getting serious about Organizational Control is that Anyone Wanting To Kill A Rival Must Secure Prior Approval.

Ø A key question, one that will determine whether MS-13 can make the jump to National Significance, is whether this transformation can Impose Order on its unruly and violent young members.

 

I find it interesting and alarming how MS-13 (in the top bullets) sounds like any other up and coming organization striving for recognition and acceptance.

 

Here is the kind of information that made me peck out “alarming” in the paragraph above above...

Ø Five gang members have testified in court.

Ø All of them were immigrants from either El Salvador or Honduras who entered the U.S. illegally.

Ø They admitted to committing street crimes, assaults and killings largely targeting rivals and suspected informants.

Ø Their weapon of choice was a machete because, as one gang member said, it allowed him to “cut somebody’s head off easily, and that person will not scream or make noise.”

Ø A Junior Member at age 21 testified how suspicion grew that another member was a snitch.

Ø He and associate were told “to make soup” of the suspected informant.

Ø “To make soup” is code for killing someone.

Ø In a deserted park, he grabbed the suspected informant from behind and held him, while the other man stabbed him.

Ø After the victim kicked him, the holding associate took out his folding knife and also stabbed the victim.

Ø They left the teen for dead and tossed away their knives and bloody clothes.

Ø Gang leaders were impressed by the work and promised to promote them to full gang status.

Ø The two associates were arrested before they were actually made gang members (how disappointing that must have been for them).

Ø Only later did they learn that the suspected informant was never truly an informant.

 

Notice the newspaper referred the killers “associates” in the 6^th bullet above as if they were really working for Widgets International instead of calling them Thugs, Murderers or Criminals.

 

Those lawmakers in favor of Looser Restrictions better be careful. Taking the position that the U.S. Government is over reacting to MS-13 is not being careful.

 

Maybe it would be better said that the Good Ole USofA ought to...

Be Afraid...Be Very Afraid

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Lagniappe: Maybe Fella is over-reacting...Or is he? Here is an excerpt from an article from the Wall Street Journal about El Salvador where MS-13 is well established and the innocent citizens of El Salvador are wishing their government had over-reacted long ago:

Ø Politicians must ask permission of gangs to hold rallies or canvass in many neighborhoods, law-enforcement officials and prosecutors said.

Ø In San Salvador, the nation’s capital, gangs control the local distribution of consumer products, experts said, including diapers and Coca-Cola. 

Ø They extort commuters, call-center employees, restaurants and store owners.

Ø In the rural east, gangs threaten to burn sugar plantations unless farmers pay up.

Ø While drug cartels collect profits from customers abroad, with dollars and euros trickling into local communities, these gangs steal from their own people.

Ø Documents collected in a recent federal investigation in El Salvador found that MS-13 extracts extortion payments from bus companies, retailers and other businesses.

Ø The payments range from a few dollars a day on each vehicle operated to hundreds of dollars a month charged to vendors in public markets.

Ø Drug enforcement officials said El Salvador’s gangs earn about $20 million a year from extortion, with an estimated $3 million coming from businesses in San Salvador’s historic center.

Ø The gangs also sell drugs and stolen cars, adding to the revenue from legitimate businesses they have seized.

 

This certainly could not happen in the Good Ole USofA...Or could it?…Or is it?   

Indiscriminate Murder Is A Powerful Weapon

When It Comes To Politics Nothing Is Clear

Have you ever thought to yourself, Self, that’s a problem that needs to be addressed! I’m going to run for political office so I can fix that problem! It is my civic duty!

 

If you are ever on the verge of throwing your hat into the ring, I’m here to tell you ForGetAboutIt!

 

What I am about to peck out in this Blog Posting will demonstrate what I am talking about. As usual, I will not mention the Political Affiliation of the real-life politicians involved here because it might activate your own Political Leanings and you will get mad at me.

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First Unnamed Politician

In this current crazy election year there is a politician who is running for re-election as governor of his state and he appears to be in great jeopardy of losing his re-election bid. Here is a short bullet point list of his record as governor since he took over a state that was an Ongoing Unmitigated Disaster...

Ø His state’s economy is now booming.

Ø His State’s Unemployment Rate has been 3% or below for eight months.

Ø His State’s Unemployment Rate has not been this low since at least 1976.

Ø Year to year average hourly wages in his State are up 5% when compared to the 2.9% Nationwide increase.

Ø Manufacturing employment has grown 12% since he first took office in January 2011.

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Second Unnamed Politician

This president saw the handwriting on the wall (whatever that means) and decided to not run for re-election because he knew he could not win.

Ø The United States government under him ran fiscal surpluses.

Ø The unemployment rate went down (from 3.9% to 3.1% during the last 4 years).

Ø The labor-force participation rate went up (from 57.2% to 58.9%).

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We’re getting near the Bottom Line so here is my Bottom Line...

Ø It sometimes does not make any difference how well you have performed in office.

Ø Some crazy unrelated event is going to happen (like your brother-in-law, who you have not talked to in 12 years, getting caught with his hand deep into the school board’s cookie jar in Buzzard’s Breath, WY) and you are going to be thrown out of office.

Ø The voters never seem to learn that next guy in that office has the same brother-in-law, only he has a different name.

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This Blog Posting could end right here and all of you would agree that I have made my point very well...Or would all of you?

 

However, it does get even crazier when you consider this...

There is a race going on in the Good Ole USofA this year where a political new-comer appears to have a very good chance of being elected with this as his past history...

Ø He’s been arrested nine times.

Ø The charges against him included...
>Operating a vehicle under the influence of alcohol.
>Driving with a suspended license.
>Unlawfully protesting.

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I’m going to contact my Congressman (if I can find him) and implore him to propose a New Tax called the You Gotta Be Crazy Tax. The money generated by this new tax is to be placed in a Lock Box to only be used to Examine the Heads of Anyone Foolish Enough to Have Ever Considered Running for Political Office in the Good Ole USofA.

 

If I got my Congressman (whoever he is) on the phone and asked him if he wants to be on my Blog Notification List, he would probably tell me he is too busy to talk to me because he is having his head examined.

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Lagniappe:

Above I was silly enough to use the term, “Lock Box That Cannot Be Broken Into”.

I looked this term up in the Congressional Dictionary and found the definition to be, “There is no such thing as a Lock Box That Cannot Be Broken Into but it is sure-fire way to get votes because the voters fall for this promise every time”.

It hurt me to see that there was actually a Smiley Face at the end of the definition but, what hurt me the most was the message behind the Smiley Face which read, “I am your Congressman and I approve this Smiley Face”.