Your Eternal Menu Selections are what you would like to eat in heaven. If you sign on and make your choices known before you die, here is what heaven will be like for you…
- I chose to eat Cannolis and Very Crisp Bacon.
o In case you don’t know what a Cannoli is, it is a tubular Italian pastry shell stuffed with a sweetened filling of whipped ricotta and often containing nuts, citron, or bits of chocolate. - In heaven we will all have a fork in each of our hands.
- On the end of our forks we will have the two foods we most loved to eat on Earth.
- We will spend eternity munching, first on the left fork and then on the right fork.
- As soon as you finish one fork, your chosen food will re-appear again on your just emptied fork.
The cynical among you are saying to yourselves, “Self, this guy is not thinking very straight. Crisp Bacon cannot be punctured by a fork without falling apart”.
My answer, of course, is, “Self, don’t forget where you are. This is heaven and, in heaven, all things are possible”.
To elaborate further, not only will the Very Crisp Bacon be securely punctured but no crumbs will fall on my cloud either from my Bacon or my Cannoli.
You have probably already figured this out, but in case you have not, here is the web site where you must make your selections … http://www.heavenlymunchies.god/.
If you do not make your selections before you die, you are going to spend eternity turning your head back and forth trying to eat off of empty forks and that would be Hell.
Would I kid u?
1 comment:
I saw a Twilight Zone like this once. For some reason - perhaps after reading a blog posting, though I doubt it, since this was the 1950s - a guy wound up eating a never-ending buffet of Chinese food. At first he thought it was heaven, but as he ate and ate and ate and ate was still starving, it became clear he was in hell.
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