I Can Do a Better Job … Just Watch Me

Here is what’s wrong with Governmental Bureaucracy…

Imagine I am employed by the Federal Government and I am assigned the task of coming up with the wording for an Executive Order that will tell all government employees that they should not Text Message while driving a government vehicle. I am given this assignment 10 minutes before quitting time.

Being well qualified for my assigned responsibilities (as are all bureaucrats) I immediately put my nose to the ole grindstone. As is usually the case, I am at Happy Hour 5 minutes after quitting time.

Here is what I came up with, “All government employees are not allowed to text message while driving government vehicles”.

Did I do well? I think I did, if I do say so myself.

On October 1, 2009 our federal government issues an Executive Order that addressed this same subject…
• It is 3 pages long.
• It contains 1,071 words.
• It is much harder to understand than my 13 words above.

To belabor the point even further, here is the part that defines “Driving”…
“(c) "Driving" means operating a motor vehicle on an active roadway with the motor running, including while temporarily stationary because of traffic, a traffic light or stop sign, or otherwise. It does not include operating a motor vehicle with or without the motor running when one has pulled over to the side of, or off, an active roadway and has halted in a location where one can safely remain stationary.”

They just used 69 words to define “driving” while I used 13 words to put to bed the entire Executive Order.

In case you want to read all 1,071 words of the official Executive Order on Texting, go to…
http://www.whitehouse.gov/sites/default/files/other/other/Federal_Leadership_On_Reducing_Text_Messaging_While_Driving.pdf

If you do take the time to read the entire 1,071 words, as you are reading them, keep thinking to yourself…“All government employees are not allowed to text message while driving government vehicles”. Enough is enough.

Would I kid u?

Making Progress With Regard To My Simple Requests

Within days of the presidential election last fall, I wrote a letter to our new president asking for ten very logical modifications to the world around me. As the months wore on I began to fear that my wishes might not be getting the proper amount of attention. I kept telling myself that the new guy seemed to be really busy and I clung to the hope that he would get to work on my requests any day now. Anyone can clearly see that these simple requests are really essential to the fabric of America.

I was thrilled to read in the AJC of December 15, 2009 that there appears to be something stirring around my third request …
“Radio & TV … Require that the announcers on all commercials stop shouting at the American People”.
I am so excited!

The news article headline…
Bill would quiet blaring TV ads
The sub-headline…
Lawmakers move to address viewer complaints.

I, however, am made a little uneasy about just how firm the commitment is to this particular concern of mine when I read in the article the following legal mumbo jumbo …
“Managing the transition between programs and ads without spoiling the artistic intent of the producers...”

What the heck does artistic intent have to do with wakening me up from my TV nap? Just what is so artistic about shouting at me?

My fear is that politics will water it down. In the end we will find that the advertising commercial’s volume is essentially unchanged or even louder once the people involved really focus in on artistic intent. Who of us would want to be seen as against artistic intent?

Maybe the best that I can hope for is a federal subsidy to all of the folks back home to be used for the purchase of ear plugs. My hopes are not on firm footing here either because I can hear the TV Advertiser’s Attorney’s impassioned plea, “Your honor, the wearing of ear plugs is an unconstitutional attempt to interfere with the artistic functional transitional projection rights of my client, as was originally intended by our founding fathers”.

Would I kid u?
-------------------------------------------------------------
You can stop reading now or, if you want a refresher, here is the original Foolishness…Or Is It? referred to above…
Dear Mr. New President
Please take into consideration the pressing issues I am directing to your attention by way of this communication…

 Tattoos … Make sports teams with the largest amount of tattoos lose every game.
 Tattoos Again … Until you get legislation passed regarding my tattoo request above, please electronically put those smudges that hide the faces of criminals on the nightly news over all of their tattoos.
 Radio & TV … Require that the announcers on all commercials stop shouting at the American People.
 RAP Artists … Require that they get real names and learn how to spell.
 Handicapped Parking Spots … Require that anyone who parks in a handicapped parking space, that is not handicapped, become handicapped.
 Postal Service … Require that the Counter Agents at the Post Offices smile once an hour.
 Postal Service Again … Require that Counter Agents not go on break as soon as the number of people waiting in line gets to six.
 Privacy Notices … Stop sending those Privacy Notices every time we turn around and have the heads examined of the three people in the Country that actually do read them.
 Dumb White Guys … Stop TV commercial makers from always depicting the White Males as ignorant buffoons. I find it unrealistic and insulting that we have to always be instructed how to do anything and everything by every other type of species on the planet. This includes other men, women, children and talking animals.
 SUV Drivers … Those SUV Drivers that can't seem to fit their vehicles within the lines of their respective parking spaces should have their SUV taken away and replaced with a Yugo.
Mr. President, I am well aware that you may have one or two more pressing issues on your plate than some of my requests. I trust that you will do your best to get right on what I am asking of you because, I am equally certain, you can see that the need for action on each of these pressing issues is self-evident.

Please do instruct your Chief Of Staff to advise me once these ten have been addressed and I will send you some more.

Would I kid u?
Smartfella?

Headline That Never Was

The headline that never was is…
“Vince Lombardi Strangles One of His Players with His Own Bear Hands”

The Smartfella? is dead serious. This headline could have come about if one of Lombardi's players had come into his office before the big game and said, “I’m sorry, coach but I can’t play in the big game this Sunday because I have Turf Toe”.

There is no doubt that, if this had happened, Lombardi would have shouted, “You expect me to pay you $200 for not playing in the big game because your toe hurts?” As he was shouting he would have jumped across his desk and choked the life out of the player with the bad toe.

Turf Toe had not been invented in Vince’s coaching days. That is the only thing that stood between Lombardi being a coaching legend and a convicted murder.

Now I am reading where Turf Toe has evolved into Chronic Turf Toe. As Vince went looking for his dictionary to find out what “chronic” meant, the toe-challenged player probably would have seen his chance to save his life by slipping away. If he was smart enough to be paid $200 a game, he was smart enough to have seen the impending danger and would have gotten away before Lombardi came storming back in.

Would I kid u?

Stringent and Comprehensive Anti-Distraction Driving Policy

Atlanta is not going to take it anymore! According to the AJC on December 11, 2009…
(For those outside of Atlanta, MARTA is the agency that runs our public transportation system.)
“As mass transit crashes have increasingly been linked to driver distractions like cell phones and texting, MARTA has issued a new ban. The agency in a statement calls it “one of the most stringent and comprehensive anti-distracted driving policies in the nation.”

“Under the ban, employees may not operate MARTA equipment while using a cell phone or other electronic device, or while eating, drinking, reading, reaching for fallen items or otherwise engaging in distracting activities.”

What has the Smartfella? confused is why is a policy of any degree of stringency needed for this situation? Do Americans not have enough common sense left to not have to be told to avoid doing stupid things?

Are we going to see more of this foolish nonsense in the future? …
• School Board … We understand that driving a school bus can sometimes be boring but, from now on, school bus drivers are not allowed to drive their busses over cliffs, if there are children on board their bus at the time of the drive over.
• Zoo Visitors … Even though it is a lot shorter to walk through the lion’s den to get to the concession stand, this practice is herewith absolutely forbidden.
• Airline Passengers … Airplane passenger cabins can become stuffy on long flight but passengers are no longer allowed to use a fire extinguisher to break out their windows.

The Smartfella? is considerate of his readers’ time and, therefore, he did not reproduce the entire news article. The part I left out was that MARTA Police are exempt from the Stringent and Comprehensive Anti-Distraction Driving Policy when it comes to eating donuts. Police know how to handle donuts.

Would I kid u?

New and Improved … Or Is It?

Sun-Maid Girl Makeover Sparks Controversy
by Brett Michael Dykes
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
(Excerpts in bold italics below were taken from the larger article.)
“Naturally, the revamped look hasn't gone unnoticed, rankling both ends of the political spectrum. The blog for conservative magazine The Weekly Standard noted that the new Sun-Maid girl looks "as if Julia Roberts decided to don a red bonnet and start picking grapes," while the feminist website Jezebel.com remarked that it looks as if she's had “some implants.”

Though the new look for the raisin girl has been garnering attention of late, the changes to the 90-year-old icon were actually introduced three years ago.”
Old
New

Are there really people who sit around just waiting for something to get offended and/or agitated about?

Considering all the dastardly happenings that are happening every minute of every day, is this issue really important?

This story does make the Smartfella? wonder what have these watchdogs been up to for the last three years? As you read above, this terrible happening happened three years ago. You would think that when it did finally come to the watchdogs’ attention they might quietly have just fired the staffer responsible for uncovering such evil. Then they could have concentrated their full attention toward trying to get us excited about something really injurious to the fabric of America like Tiger Woods.

The Smartfella? is also in a quandary about another part of this story. How does one go about implanting implants in a drawn figure? Does one draw the drawn figure and then have it sent off to a hospital and have some highly specialized surgical team do the implanting?

I also wonder if the original Sun-Maid Girl is sitting on her shelf somewhere wishing Implant Technology had been around when she was first drawn 90 years ago.

Would I kid u?

The Smartfella? Just Got Back From New York City

Here is what caught my eye…
• Individual Walking…
o A significant number of people cannot walk the streets of NYC without earphones sticking in their ears.
o The rest of them cannot walk the streets without talking on their cell phones.
• Group Walking… All NYC residents live in apartments but they are not permitted to be in their apartments any more than six hours a day. By law they are required to walk up and down the streets the other eighteen hours.
• English Speaking Walkers… There are none.
• Multitasking… Some NYC residents have acquired the ability to talk on their cell phones and type on their computers at the same time.
• Corned Beef Sandwiches… $15.
• New York Times… $6 on Sundays.
• Waiter in Little Italy… I have been drinking Dark beers more than forty years. One of my favorite Dark beers is Heineken Dark. I asked my waiter if his establishment had Heineken Dark. He looked me right in my ignorant eyes and said, “Heineken does not make a Dark beer".
• Cabs… Every fifth car on NYC streets is not a cab.
• Airline Food… A single ginger tasting cracker.
• Pleasant Surprise… The people (except the above mentioned waiter) were friendly.
• Saddest Thing I Saw… Nine o’clock mass in a huge Catholic Church had somewhere between 40 & 50 people in it. You would think that, in a city of more than 19,000,000, people they could have scrapped up more than that.
• Fashion Trend Coming To Your Feet… You are going to love your feet! I saw numerous people wearing old fashioned looking tennis shoes (Converse/Keds) that were either bright Purple or bright Pink (men were wearing pink too).

Would I kid u?

GrandmaNearYou.com

By way of this Foolishness…Or Is It? I am formally offering each of you the opportunity to get in on the ground floor of a Sure Fire Money Making New Venture aptly named...

GrandmaNearYou.com

If you are one to quickly know an financially sound opportunity when you see it, you will be writing a check even before you get to the end of this one...

Back when my Mother used to visit us for various holidays we flew her to wherever we were living at that time...Los Angeles or Detroit or Milwaukee or Detroit (again) or Atlanta or Los Angeles (again) or Atlanta (again). My family was always excited to see her, especially since she was sure to be carrying 5 pounds of Cousin George’s Italian Sausage and several jars of Ma Brown Kosher Dill Pickles (I have never found them outside of New Orleans).

One visit, as my family and I sat waiting in an airport for her to deplane, I watched all the Grandmas from all over the United States who had flown in for the holiday. The idea for this Sure Fire Money Making New Venture hit me like a thunderbolt!

Why not use the computer technology that we have now developed to locate a Grandma that is closer to the where your family lives and bring this, more conveniently located, Grandma over for the holiday? The family whose Grandma you "took" could do the same with a Grandma in their own neighborhood. The computer data bank of available Grandmas could do the locating and arrange for the pick ups and drop offs, etc.

In making this suggestion, I am not being heartless because the Grandma that you had been intending to fly in, at great expense, would likely just have to go a few blocks to her new Holiday Family. On your end you would save a bundle in airfare. (As we roll out this idea, we will surely face strong opposition in Washington, D.C. from the evil paid lobbyists of the Airline Industry.)

The further benefits for the Stay At Home Grandmas are too numerous to list in their entirety but here is a few of the obvious ones:

• Would not have to pack and unpack her suitcases.


• Would not have to stop the newspaper.


• Would not have to stop the mail.


• Would not have to put the dog or cat in a kennel.


• Would not have to get herself to the airport.


• Would not have to suffer the humiliation of being frisked (while that guy with the two foot long beard wearing a robe walked right by her).


• Would not have to have to take off her shoes during the frisking process.


• Would not have to sit in a cramped airplane for hours.


• Would not have to eat airline snacks (they used to get actual food that they would not have to eat).


• Would not have to be endangered by terrorists.


• Would not have to sleep on an unfamiliar bed and pillow while visiting.


• Would not have to fly back home and again be exposed to all the above airline persecutions.

Heaven knows that a lot of American Males would jump at the opportunity to have a different Mother-In-Law.

Variety could also be added to your life because your new Grandma quite possibly would introduce your family to her own special cooking talents.

Again computer technology could be used to make this a Win-Win Proposition for all involved by use of computer technology to tailor make your conveniently located grandma. The form where you applied for your substitute Grandma would allow you to fine tune your replacement Grandma…
You would be able to pick from one of the following:

• Black hair


• Brown hair


• Red hair


• Grey hair


• Blue hair

You would be able to specify a cooking specialty:

• Italian


• Mexican


• French


• German


• Chinese
  

You would be able to select a nationality:

• Anything but French

The potential of this brilliant (if I do say so myself) idea is boundless! This may be your last chance to become one of the Filthly Rich.

Become a Charter Owner of GrandmasNearYou.com today! Don't let this opportunity pass you by! Send your check to:
GrandmaNearYou.com
c/o The Smartfella?
What A Deal, GA 30096

Dig deep. The bigger your check the larger will be your percentage of ownership permitting you to become filthly sooner than your fellow investors.

Would I kid you?

How Do “They” Know That?

We are constantly being barraged by “them” & their numbers. Who are “them”? Are “them” related to “they”?

What the heck am I talking about? I’m not sure. Hold on a moment and I will collect myself (whatever that means) and I’ll be back with you in a bit.

Pause … Pause … Pause

OK, I remembered what sent me into this tirade. I have been told by my radio that the following is fact…
In The Last Year 82,000,000 Americans Contemplated Suicide
I ask you, How Do “They” Know That?

“They” would probably give me the standard response, “Researchers” told us.

Who are Researchers? Are Researchers in any way related to “them” and “they”?

Did “they” ask 82,000,000 people if they had contemplated suicide?

Ok, I know what “they” did. “They” asked a smaller number and extrapolated that smaller number into a larger number…
• If “they” asked 39 people and 10 said they had contemplated suicide, this would be 25.625%.
• There are about 320,000,000 people in the country at this time.
• 320,000,000 times 25.625% equals 82,000,000 suicide contemplating people.
That’s it! That is how “they” got to their number. I should have known that “they” would not give us a bum steer (whatever that means).

If this satisfies your curiosity, you can consider the matter closed and I encourage you to go do something constructive with your time.

IF YOU ARE NOT A FOOTBALL TV WATCHER, DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER BECAUSE YOU WILL NOT UNDERSTAND, OR CARE, WHAT THE SMARTFELLA? IS TALKING ABOUT (I hope this is a first time you have not cared what the Smartfella? is talking about).

The other factor that must be taken into consideration is what universe of people “they” canvased with their suicide question. If “they” had asked New England Patriots football fans within an hour of the end of the Patriots game with the Colts last Sunday, “they” very well might have gotten 25.625% of them to say they had contemplated suicide within the last year (actually within the last hour).

What happened Sunday was the renounced, highly praised and never-makes-a-mistake coach of the Patriots, Bill Belichick, had just ended the titanic struggle by making one of the worst decisions in the entire history of football (pee wee, grammar school, flag, touch, YMCA, high school, college and professional). With only seconds more than two minutes left in the game and his team ahead by six points, Coach Belichick had called for his team to go for a first down on fourth down on their own 28 yard line. He forsook punting the ball and having the Colts start their possession somewhere around 60 to 70 yards away from the Patriot’s goal line. Belichick’s team did not make the first down by a football length. That gave one of the best offensive teams in football today, with maybe the best quarterback in the history of the game, a first down inside Belichick’s 30 yard line with 1:57 left on the clock. Four plays later with 13 seconds left in the game the Colts scored a touchdown and Belichick’s Patriots lost by 1 point.

The Smartfella? thinks that 25.625% was probably a low number of Patriot fans who were contemplating suicide in the aftermath of that bit of football stupidity. He also thinks that the wrong question might have been posed to the distraught fans. If “they” had asked, “Have you ever contemplated murder in the last year?”, they very likely would have come up with a much higher percentage.

Would I kid u?

Progress In Education?

In the AJC of 11/12/09 is an article on the front page that contains…
“For the first time in its history, the Georgia Department of Education this month will hand out grants for schools to pioneer the use of “handheld computing” to see if it engages students better than traditional book-and-paper methods.”

This makes the Smartfella? a bit nervous. I fear that blind faith in calculators may become a problem. If students do not understand numbers will they accept any answer that their calculators put out because the answer must be right because the calculator put it out? Allow me to belabor the point…
• Will the engineers of the future understand the inviolate principle of, Garbage In…Garbage Out? If they want to know what 5X5 is and they put in 5X55 and find their answer is 275, will they not become suspicious?
• Will the makers of the calculators have no understanding of numbers and, therefore, come up with machines that punch out bad results all the time and really screw things up for everyone?
• Will the rocket scientists of the future send rockets to Mars but end up blowing up downtown Albuquerque?
• Will the students of the future be taking their final exams and try to find the answer of 558X863 but come up with an answer of 17 say to themselves, “Boy, this is not gonna take any time at all. If all the answers are this short, I’m going to be sitting in the coffee shop, drinking my latte and texting in no time at all!”

Since this is the bottom of this Foolishness, the Bottom Line is…I hope the Georgia Department of Education teaches our modern students some Arithmetic.

Would I kid u?

Sure Way To Reduce Crime

The State of Georgia has decided to ban smoking in its Correctional System (formerly known as Prison System … also formerly known as Da Jail House).

This has gotten the Smartfella? into some deep thinking and that is always an interesting few moments in the Smartfella’s? day. He has come up with a plan that is sure to reduce crime in the good ole USofA.

Step 1 … Get a billion or so dollars from the federal government to run a television advertising campaign to encourage criminals to take up smoking … Real Heavy Smoking. The campaign would look something like this…
• Thinking about robbing a bank? This is not a project that should be executed without careful planning of every devious detail. This is important. Make sure you take the time to properly plan your venture by having a few packs of cigarettes with all your buddies at the Bank Robbery Planning Meetings.
• Working hard at accumulating ill gotten gains for your retirement but feeling the strain of the everyday pressures of sneaking around and staying undercover? You need some time to yourself. You need a friend. You need a cigarette.
Step 2 … Once the bad guys are good and hooked on cigarettes they will think long and hard about continuing to ply their trade for fear of being incarcerated for many years without being able to light up a good smoke. They will be very apprehensive about having to walk that last mile without a Camel.

There is always the possibility that a large number of would-be criminals all at once giving up their chosen profession will be a glut on the law-abiding labor force but we will have to address that thorny issue when and if it happens. The Smartfella? can’t solve all the world’s problems in a single Foolishness…Or Is It? posting.

Having to come up with solutions for all of the world’s ills really puts a lot of pressure on me. It would be a lot easier if I smoked.

Would I kid u?

This One Is Serious!

This is a serious Foolishness…Or Is It? about down right serious foolishness, seriously.

What if … I came to you and asked for a major ongoing donation to me personally that I would use to pay for the college education of gifted students who would otherwise never be able to go to college without my funneling them the funds you generously donate to them through me?

What if … You found out after ten years of your continuing sacrifice on behalf of these very worthy students that I had been using your donations to preserve the habitat for giraffes in Africa? Would you be mad?

Sure you would be mad. You would probably say to me, “If you wanted me to donate my money to preserve the habitat for giraffes, you should have asked me for donations for giraffes. I may have given the money for the giraffes and I may not have given you the money for the giraffes but that ought to have been my decision.”

It is not a successful argument that the poor giraffes needed help. What is pertinent is it is your money and my asking for it for one specific purpose and using it for another specific purpose is misappropriation of your money.

This kind of thing has been going on for an awful long time in our local, state and federal governments. How long I don’t know. Did it start in George Washington’s first term? I like to think not but it well may have.

Did it start in the current federal government administration? It absolutely did not.

It is part of how we do things and how we do things is awfully wrong.

Want a current and continuing example from the State of Georgia? …
In today’s Atlanta Journal-Constitution there is an article about how Georgia uses our “Trust Fund” monies. The article tells us …
“Lawmakers also created a Solid Waste Trust in 1992 to clean up scrap tire dumps, improve and expand solid waste collection and recycling, and eliminate open dumps on roadsides and along streams. Georgians shell out an additional $1 for each new tire they buy to pay for that effort.

In 2009, the fees brought in more than $16.38 million, but only $1.4 million will go toward cleanups.”

Did the paper find the only possible example of this kind of redirection of our taxes? You can bet there are hundreds or thousands of such examples but here are two more…
1) Hazardous Waste Trust Fund … $15,960,000 collected & $3,200,000 to be spent on Hazardous Waste.
2) Brain, Spinal Injury Trust Fund … $1,900,000 collected & $97,396 to be spent on Brain & Spinal Injuries.

Very appropriately the article says we need to put Trust back into Trust Funds.

Did I make all this up? Not this time. Go to … http://www.ajc.com/news/misused-fees-lead-state-189810.html and read all about it.

Would I kid u?

The King Still Lives!

Listening to the election coverage Tuesday night and during one stretch, where I was not asleep, I heard a Talking Head make a slip of the tongue ... Or did she?

‘The results are in. Voters in (umpty ump) congressional district have chosen to be ruled by (Democrats/Republicans) for the next four years’.

It is not important which district it was, nor which party it was, the operative word is “ruled”.

I always thought we chose our Governmental Representation not our Rulers.

And I thought I knew what was going on.

Would I kid u?

Nelson Is Dead and Happy Is Out There Somewhere

I am old fashioned. I like the old days as exemplified by when Nelson Rockefeller got divorced and married Margaretta Large Fitler Murphy (otherwise known as Happy). By doing this divorce thing it is generally agreed that he ruined his chance to become a presidential candidate in 1964.

That was then and this is now … shucks. Now I have to listen to a talking head on TV saying that she admired the manner in which David Letterman handled his “situation”.

In Nelson and Happy’s day, David and his career as a late night entertainer would have been ruined. Now we have people saying they admire him and his manner handling.

Exactly what there is to admire about him and his manner handling is beyond old fashioned me. Does this speaking head “admire”…
 That he had his affairs with women that he had power over?
 That he had repeated affairs with various different women?
 That he made lots of jokes about his affairs and his women on his show?

Well the Smartfella? will get the last laugh when he sees David’s ratings fall like a rock. What’s that you say? You say his ratings are UP since he came “clean”? Can that possibly be?

I am so old fashioned that I am not Happy for David. I am surprised that David’s ratings are up. My being surprised proves how old fashioned I am.

Would I kid u?

I Have Not Been Notified, As Of Yet

I recently read an article that had a quote in it as follows…
“Some of these now-aging men believe they can improve their chances of getting government pensions and mental health care”.

Did you catch the phrase that triggered this Foolishness…Or Is It? posting?

If you zeroed in on “now-aging”, you are on the mark!

This phrase started the Smartfella? wondering about when is it that we begin to age. Silly me, I always thought that process was pretty automatic and started as soon as we were born. Guess I was wrong.

Now that I know that I have been wrong all these years it seems to me that there must be some kind of notification from a governmental agency to tell us that the Aging Process has started.

This is important stuff. It would not seem proper that the Aging Process would start unbeknownst to us. We ought to be properly informed of what is about to happen to us. We should have to sign a formal Receipt of Aging Notification.

Armed with this knowledge, is it possible to beat the system? Could we not prevent the Aging Process from putting its unwelcome hitch in our get-along? ...
•If it is done by the US Postal Service, can we move and not give a forwarding address?
•If it is done by Email, could we not find out the governmental agency that sends the emails and put a block into our Email Options to keep the bad news from getting to us?
•If it is done by Twitter, could we not … Hold on a minute! I think there must be a Federal Law that forbids using a Tweet to convey such a momentous life-changing message. All of you Twits out there reading this, don’t you worry none about your Tweets.

This Foolishness…Or Is It? has been the most difficult one for me to put together. This is very unsettling to me. My Foolishnesses usually flows from my fingers tips easily. Is it possible that my Aging Process has already started and there really is no Federal Government Notification Mechanism in place? If that be the case, it just does not seem fair.

Would I kid u?

Mr. Anonymous Now Has the Rule of Law On His Side

Back in April I published a Foolishness...Or Is It? about that guy Anonymous. I have cut and pasted the link to that piece at the end of this posting. You might want to go back and read it all over again because I have been told by thousands of you that reading my past foolishness over and over is a delightful way to while away the hours. (OK, maybe I have not been told the prior statement by anyone. However, in the mode of darn near any member of our present Congress ... If I had been told what I just said I was told, then I would have been told what I was not told.)

Back to Subject of this posting about why Mr. Anonymous now has the Rule of Law on his side...
In today's Atlanta Journal-Constitution on page A4 in the very left column at the very bottom there is the following wording "...said a spokesman for Brazil's civil aviation authority, who spoke on condition of anonymity in keeping with policy". (I added the bold lettering.)

There you have it. The Mr. Anonymoui of the future are a protected class. They are part of our national fabric. Don't you feel better? I know I do.

Would I kid u?

The link to the original Mr. Anonymous piece is below...
http://forii.blogtownhall.com/2009/04/24/anonymous%e2%80%a6without_this_guy_we_would_not_know_anything.thtml

Am I That Smart?

Recently I read that people purported to be a lot smarter that the Smartfella? came out with some very startling news about evolution.

I say startling because they really seemed to be excited about their “discovery”.

I say “discovery” because that’s what they called it and they are a lot smarter than I am … Or are they?

This is what had them all in a tizzy (whatever that is)…

Monkey Primates of today and the Human Primates of today

evolved on two different evolutionary paths.

These are the times when I really begin to believe that I know what I am talking about. It seems pretty elementary to me…
• Today there are Humans.
• Today there are Monkeys.

Does not that seem like the end of the argument? Should it even be called an “argument”? What is there to argue about? If there were not two separate and distinct evolutionary paths involved in this evolvement, we would have 535 Humkeys making laws for us in Congress. That would be terrible! … Or would it?

Would I kid u?

What’s Up With Names?

Many in our society (but not the Smartfella?) are infatuated with what we name ourselves. A “mature” adult who changes his name to “Bow Wow” (I did not make this one up) bears his own responsibility for being laughed at. The sad part is we are not laughing. We say things like, “Dat’s cool”, “Whatever floats your boat”, “Everyone is entitled to do their own thing”.

What is even worse is modern “mature” adults are naming their newborn offspring using name creation thinking that results in some strange monikers…

• Taking well-known names and misspelling them and coming up with…
  o Regena instead of Regina.
  o Dawnn instead of Dawn.
  o Martellus instead of Marcellus.
  o Billye instead of Billy.
  o Parisa instead of Paris.
• Some geniuses have taken to inserting an Apostrophe in the middle of names and coming up with the likes of, “Nu’Keese”.
• We also have the holdover from ancient times where we try to keep alive Roman Names and come up with such gems as, “DeQuayvious”.
• Many years ago President Reagan put his tongue into his cheek and wrote a commentary about the phenomena developing at the time for hyphenating names by combining the bride and the groom’s names into one name. He noted that if this practice were to go on through just a few generations we might end up with…
  o John Smith-Halloran-Schwamm-Morningside-Lacarelli-Sherman-Bukowski-Krenwinkle-Roget.
  o Can you imagine the difficulty this would present to John Madden if John Hyphenating was a running back for the Chicago Bears?
• I read an article a few years ago that told me that people were naming their children after automobiles. A quote from this article is shown below…
  o “There are kids named after cars: Corvette, Acura, Camry, Celica and Infiniti.”
  

It will be a sure sign that a modern mother-to-be went into labor in Walgreen’s Drug Store if you see “Neutrogena” on her little fellow’s soccer shirt.

Would I kid u?

Second Place Is No Place

We are constantly hearing about milestones that report when the first of anything does anything ... first.

Categories of firsters usually involve ... Gender, Nationality, Gender combined with Nationality, Inventors and, of course, Sports Figures (usually called “heroes”).

As a society we pay no attention to the second of anything that does anything about anything. I am pecking out this foolishness to call your attention to the biggest overlooked second in the history of mankind (now called “personkind”).

We are always giving magnamunious (don’t bother looking that one up) praise to the Person Who Invented the Wheel. I agree this was a tremendous leap forward in human development but what about the Person Who Invented the Second Wheel?

That individual was history’s first Rodney Dangerfield before Rodney Dangerfield was Rodney Dangerfield ... Gets No Respect At All.

Would I kid u?

All Is Well ... The Dow Jones Industrial Average Is Over 10,000 Again!

The Dow will never fall below 10,000 ... Or will it?

Most of the time the Smartfella? says when someone tells him something worth knowing, “I knew that”.

He has never been overheard to say, “That’s news to me”.

However, there is one thing that has always puzzled me. It’s the closing of the New York Stock Exchange each and every day.

If the Stock Market has gone up dramatically that particular day, there is this overhang that looks out at the exchangers who have just finished exchanging and there is a group of people standing in the overhang that are applauding and smiling and smiling and applauding. They look really happy!

On those days when the Stock Market has fallen like a heavy rock, there is another group of people standing on the overhang and they are applauding and smiling and smiling and applauding. They look really happy!

This does not seem to make sense to the Smartfella?. Why are they happy when the Stock Market goes up and are just as happy when the Stock Market goes down? On those horrible down days do they not understand that fortunes have just been lost? Do they not see that lives have just been ruined? Do they not comprehend that in the next several hours a number of recently-used-to-be-rich Americans will be jumping out of tall buildings all over the country?

Maybe that is it! The people applauding on those crash days are the people who rent window space to that day’s jumpers. The used-to-be-rich are desperate to end it all and the Jumpers R Us Industry is always ready to serve. They advertise, “Space is limited. Take a number. Have a donut on us. We promise to move you through as quickly as possible”.

Would I kid u?

The Smartfella? Is Spending Lots of Time in an Ongoing State of Confusion

I used to know and understand the world around me. Now I feel like Sergeant Shultz on Hogan’s Heroes ... “I know nothing!” (I wonder how many out there reading this never heard of Sergeant Shultz and/or Hogan’s Heroes?)

Here is the latest change I don’t understand courtesy of our modern news media...

I used to read things like this in the newspaper:
“What’s Her Name had a child as a result of an adulterous relationship with What’s His Name”.

Now I am reading things like this in the newspaper:
“What’s Her Name produced a child through an encounter with What’s His Name”.

“Adulterous Relationship” I understand but “Encounter” somehow seems different.

To me an encounter is like when you accidently bump into someone on a bus and you say, “Excuse me”. Come to think of it Excuse Me is out also. Now we say, “Get outta my way!”

Oh well, that’s Progress ... Or Is It?

Would I kid u?

Can Your Mind’s Eye See?

This is Sight Foolishness. To enjoy the full impact of this bit of Foolishness you must be able to picture these images in your mind’s eye. If you can’t picture images in your head, do not read any further.

First, the Smartfella? must set the stage…

• I am old fashioned.
• I believe that we show respect for places we go by the way we dress.
• To go to church on Sunday dressed like we just came out of the field after picking cotton or just back from toting that barge and lifting that bale is not proper.

I understand that I have just lost more of my dear readers because some of you are now mad at me for attacking the way you dress for church. Oh well, I accept this because that’s the way it is in the glaring spotlight of public opinion.

Those of you still with me please read on.

Since I am sure that God in heaven shares my dislike for Beach/Garden Wear in his church, here is what I find my mind’s eye picturing as I sit there on Sunday watching my fellow parishioners walk up to communion in blue jeans, shorts and thongs…

• All of a sudden all males wearing blue jeans, shorts and thongs are no longer attired in blue jeans, shorts and thongs but are in white boxer underwear, with the word “Alleluia” printed all over them and wearing very loud wooden Dutch shoes that are 3 sizes too big for their feet.
• Since the Smartfella? does not do risqué and picturing women in their underwear in church would be risqué , I do not have the same picture of the females.
• I picture the females walking up and all of a sudden there are flower pots on top of their heads with one large yellow daisy growing out of the pot and held onto their heads by an elastic strap under their chins and, of course, the very loud wooden Dutch shoes that are 3 sizes too big for their feet.

Ah yes, this just might be the biggest miracle since the Loaves and the Fishes!

What? You say you can’t picture my pictures. I feel sorry for your mind’s eye.

Would I kid u?

Miss Manners & Gentle Reader Wrote Most of This One

The Smartfella? gets concerned about lots of foolish issues but he is unable to understand how this “problem” amounts to anything more than Miscellaneous Trivia…

Question to the newspaper column starring Miss Manners:
So my question is twofold: One, just how wrong have I been, lo these many years, eating all sorts of soups with a round-bowled spoon? I really do vastly prefer these to the big oval spoons. And two, if I can find some round-bowled soup spoons, how tacky would it be for them to not match my new stainless? I am aware that it's quite all right to mix silver patterns, but everyday stainless is hardly so exalted.

Answer from Miss Manners:
Gentle Reader: The good news is that you may mix patterns. The bad news confirms what you already know: that soup eaten from a bowl requires round spoons (although these should not be confused with the smaller round bouillon spoons used to eat bouillon from a two-handled soup cup).
Taking your word for it that round-bowled stainless steel spoons do not exist, Miss Manners recommends exhausting yourself by trying to track down soup plates, rather than bowls, that go with your china or pottery.

Wise Guy Comments from Smartfella?:

Dear Gentle Reader and Miss Manners: The two of you should spend your time getting into some really weighty issues that would be of benefit to all mankind like…
Is permissible to throw my cigar butts into my wife’s flower garden?

Would I kid u?

This Is Going Too Far!

Recently there was a Terrorist Plot uncovered in New York City. At first you might find yourself saying to yourself, “Self, why is the Smartfella? bothering me with this? This happens all the time. Has he not got better things to get foolish about?”

Actually I hope you don’t have the above mentioned attitude. Just because we are doing a good job of stopping them from blowing us up does not mean that we ought to stop paying attention and assume that we will always be unblownup. I could say what I said in the prior sentence but I won’t because that belongs in a Blog called Seriuosness…Or Is It? and the Smartfella? does not do Serious.

Back to the terrorists…It seems that the defense attorneys are claiming Entrapment. The Smartfella? thinks they have a firm basis on which to make that contention. Here is a quote from the news article…
“The defendants’ lawyers demanded on Thursday in federal court that prosecutors turn over evidence. Among those mentioned were checks of up to $25,000, gifts to the men’s families and an open credit line at a fried chicken store.”

The money I see as a nice neat entrapment. Gifts are right up there with money. The Smartfella? accepts these two as fine police work but Fried Chicken?! That is dirty pool, that is dealing from the bottom of the deck and certainly that is hitting below the belt! It appears our law enforcement officials have gone beyond the pale (whatever that means).

I think these guys just might get away with their dastardly deed once they get into our crack Judicial System and receive their fair trial.

Would I kid u?

We Are Going To Have To Crank It Up, Hazel

Once upon a time there was a small businessman who had a small business in his garage. He was a tinker. He tinkered in lots of different areas. He loved his small business, made small money and his wife Hazel brought him a big sandwich every day at lunch time.

During the course of his tinkering, he invented that Orange and White Plastic Roadside Construction Warning Barrel. I am, of course, referring to the Orange and White Barrels that we see along our roadsides wherever there is road construction going on.

Our little businessman enjoyed his work and he enjoyed the pace at which he worked. He made about seven and a half barrels each day. Any day he got his output up to eight barrels he felt extremely satisfied with himself.

One day he was tinkering away on his third barrel when the mailman came with a delivery that was much larger than the usual amount of mail. Once he started opening his mail, he found himself equal parts shocked and delighted. His ship had come in!

What had happened was that the Planet Earth had discovered his Orange and White Plastic Roadside Construction Warning Barrel. When he had finished opening his mail, he realized that he had received orders for 17.75 billion barrels!

As the size of his good fortune was sinking in, his wife came in with his lunch. Without even looking up he said, “Hazel, looks like expenses are going to go up. We have to call your brother back from layoff.”

Would I kid u?

Looking Good Ain’t Good!

Have you looked at the Obituary Page lately? If you have, you most certainly have noticed that the pictures of the dearly departed all look like they are in great shape. There is reason to be concerned about this situation and the Smartfella? is here to advise you accordingly.
If any of the following has happen to you recently, you need to take action…
· Someone told you, “You sure are looking good!”
· A friend says, “My my! Aren’t you looking chipper today!”
· You go through the guard shack of a fancy gated community to play tennis where you have to show your driver’s license and when the guard returns your license he says, “You have lost weight since your driver’s license picture was taken. Good job!”
If any of the above is happening to you, you are in eminent danger of finding your good looking self on the Obituary Page. I urge you to do something before it is too late…
· Get a friend who really cares for you to punch you in an eye or your nose hard enough to make things swell, turn black and blue and/or bleed.
· Start wearing a patch over one eye.
· Start frowning a lot.
· Spring for some plastic surgery and get several really ugly scars installed on your good looking face.
· Get a tattoo or two.
The third bullet above (about the drivers license) has me completely unnerved because it actually happened to me last Wednesday. I have been having trouble sleeping ever since.
Would I kid u?

I Am Interesting and Special … Or Am I?

We must have a whole bunch of people in our government who’s job it is to change what we call things. Just when we think we know what’s going on, the People Who Change Things go and Change Things.

What am I talking about? I guess it is best to give some familiar examples…
>We used to have a Secretary of War but now we have a Secretary of Defense.
>We used to have Congressmen but now we have Congresspersons.
>We used to have Jungles but now we have Rain Forests.
>We used to have City Dumps but now we have Transfer Stations.
>We used to have bombs that were called Bunker Busters but now we have Peacekeeper Missiles.

The Smartfella? and his wife are into watching TV Detective Shows. I have picked up on a change that must have come from the People Who Change Things which, at first, had me confused but since I am sly, cunning and alert I did figure it out but not without some difficulty.

If someone had referred to the Smartfella? as a “Person of Interest” this is the kind of thing that would have run through my mind…
>I most certainly am a Person of Interest because I am witty, as is evident by my ability to create these highly entertaining bits of Foolishness.
>Of course I am a Person of Interest because I waste a lot of time coming up with these worthless bits of Foolishness.
>I definitely am a Person of Interest because you people who read my mind wanderings spend a lot of time laughing at and/or trying to figure out what the heck I am talking about.

I have finally figured out that a Person of Interest is a person who is suspected of committing a crime. They used to be called Suspects but now they are Interesting People.

What’s next? Since there appears to be a desperate movement afoot to not call anything anything Male or Masculine or He-man, are we on the cusp of having the People Who Change Things redo the title of the person who delivers our mail from a Mail Man to a Person Person?

Would I kid u?

I Made A Good Shot One Time & You Can Bet I Did Not Cry About It

The Smartfella? is a tennis player, of sorts. That being said, it is not strange that I watch the big tennis matches on television, to some degree. Here is the degree to which I watch the big matches…
>I watch every Andy Roddick match.
>Once Roddick loses, I do not watch any more matches, until the finals.
>Even in the finals, I only watch the end of the matches (unless it is shorter than I expect and then I miss the whole thing).

Here is the Smartfella‘s? Fondest Tennis Wish…
>I wish that when the final ball has bounced its final bounce, the winner, male or female (especially male), would not fall on the ground and start crying.
>It has been a long time since I have seen the triumphant champion simply smile, wave and jog up to the net and shake hands with the vanquished opponent.

I can guarantee each and every one of you faithful readers that, when I win a Grand Slam Tennis Tournament, you will not see me on the ground crying, rolling around and getting up to blow kisses to my worshiping, adoring and weeping fans.

Would I kid u?
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Footnote: More Foolishness can be found at… http://www.northfulton.com/1bloglistingsbody.lasso?-token.blogref=6920.112113
AND/OR
http://forii.blogtownhall.com/

If Hugo Is Not Responsible for the Yugo Automobile, He Is An OK Guy ... Or Is He?

On September 8, 2009 the Atlanta Journal Constitution carried the following information on page A3 in the column entitled, World In Brief.

Chavez, director hit Venice Film Festival…"Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez received a movie star welcome Monday at the Venice Film Festival, where he walked the red carpet with director Oliver Stone for the premiere of the documentary "South of the Border." Stone says "South of the Border" is meant to illustrate "the sweeping changes" in South America in recent years as a direct counterpoint to what he sees as Chavez’s depiction as a dictator by U.S. and European media."

The Smartfella? reads the above news brief to say that Oliver Stone believes that Chavez is getting a bad rap by the media calling him a dictator. In other words, Stone is saying he is not a dictator.

Immediately below the above news brief is another news brief which is entitled …
Media: Venezuela shutting them down. This article contains the following quote; "Opponents accuse Chavez of cracking down on dissent by silencing the media, noting the government closed 32 radio stations and two small television stations last month."

Hugo sounds pretty dictatorial to the Smartfella?.

Would I kid u?

If Everyone Were A Hero, Would We Have Any Heroes?

A dictionary definition of the word “hero” is: “A person noted for feats of courage or nobility of purpose, especially one who has risked or sacrificed his or her life”.

Who is the Smartfella? to quibble with the dictionary? He does not, in fact, question this definition but he does have a problem with the way some persons out there use the word. He has been known to get very quibblie (how is that for inventing a word?) when he hears an athlete referred to as a “hero”. He admits he gets excited when an athlete throws a football through a hoop and hits, as they say, “nothing but net”. What he fails to see is the “courage or nobility of purpose” in performing such a feat.

Recently the Smartfella? was reading an opinion by a fellow unimportant person and he saw these words used and it caught his eye and his eye said, “Huh?”… “Political Hero”.

Just what is a “Political Hero”? The foolishness juices have began to flow and here is what is oozing out…
§ Is a “Political Hero” one who created such an well-oiled Misappropriation Machine that his staff can continue to misappropriate at a high rate of efficiency even while the “Political Hero” is off for two weeks on a fact-finding boondoggle to Paris?
§ Is a “Political Hero” one who has missed more votes on more critical issues than any of his fellow distinguished colleagues?
§ Is a “Political Hero” one who has never been late for, much less missed, a single happy hour in his entire career as a public servant?

The Smartfella? likes to think that Washington, Lincoln and Churchill would have been insulted to be called “Political Heroes”. Referring to people of their ilk (he still loves that word) as not wanting to be remembered as “Political Heroes” is one time that the Smartfella? is thinking that he is thinking pretty good.

"Senator, I served with political heroes, I knew political heroes, political heroes were friends of mine. Senator, you are a political hero."

Would I kid u?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Footnote: More Foolishness can be found at: http://www.northfulton.com/1bloglistingsbody.lasso?-token.blogref=6920.112113 AND/OR http://forii.blogtownhall.com/

Let It Go To Voice Mail

When the Smartfella? was still in the working world, he became aware of a modern day phenomena whereby the people who were working around me had developed a habit of sitting at their desks and letting the phones on their desks ring until the voice mail system picked up.

They did not think that there was anything wrong with this technique. When it first started happening, I said something about their ringing phone, they would sometimes look annoyed and tell me something like, “I’m busy”.

I quickly realized that I was “old school” and I backed off. The thing I had difficulty getting my mind around was that they did not look busy. That is, unless you are willing to accept playing solitaire as a part of your definition of “busy”.

Now that I have been in retirement all these years it seems that there is less and less opportunity to talk to humans out there. Actually it has gotten worse than simply, “Let it go to voice mail”. Allow me to give you a recent example…
§ Called and got into a voice mail message that told me the person who’s recording I was listening to was out until the following Monday.
§ His slick message told me to call another person who would help me and he even gave me the other person’s number.
§ I called the other person.
§ She was out of the office till Tuesday and her message told me to call the person whose message had told me to call her.

Now am I just being an old geezer about this or is there a real problem out there?

Would I kid u?

When Pigs Fly … or … Da Swine Flu

Recently the people who raise pigs successfully brought tremendous pressure to bear on the people in our government who are in charge of naming what we call things (otherwise called the US Department of Names).

The pig growers were very persuasive and made the following points…
§ The Swine Flu was hurting their businesses.
§ There were definite signs out there that the eating public was becoming afraid of eating pig meat.
§ The American public, being sly, cunning and alert, were fast coming to the conclusion that the Swine Flu could be gotten from eating swine.

It made no difference that the Swine Flu cannot be gotten from eating swine. The contrary is actually the case. The AP ran an article on August 31, 2009 which reported that the people who run County Fairs around the good ole USofA are having to take preventive measures because there is growing evidence that swine are in danger of getting the Swine Flu from being in contact with people with the Swine Flu.

The American Public, as always, does not want to confused by the facts. They want action! They want someone to do something about something or other.

The people who are in charge of naming what we call things decreed that the Swine Flu was dead and in quick order invented the H1N1 Flu.

What a stroke of genius! Who could be worried about eating an H1N1? Now we can all go eat a ham sandwich in complete confidence that we ain’t gonna be attacked by anything flulike.

Considering all of the above, the Smartfella? did think it was funny yesterday when he heard a intrepid member of our News Media say the following, “It looks like the H1N1 Flu, otherwise known as the Swine Flu, has the potential of becoming a major pandemic this fall”.

It appears this Talking Head did not get the Don't-Call-It-Da-Swine-Flu memo.

Would I kid u?
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Footnote:
More Foolishness can be found at:
http://www.northfulton.com/1bloglistingsbody.lasso?-token.blogref=6920.112113
AND/OR
http://forii.blogtownhall.com/

It's Nice To Be Nice

I've always thought that banks were really nice to set up Overdraft Protection for their customers. What a kind gesture on their part to go to such lengths to try and save their customers the embarrassment of having a check bounce!

In reading the Internet today I find out that the banks are not only nice but they are making a few extra coins while they are being so nice...
"The Financial Times recently reported that U.S. banks are set to earn $38.5 billion this year from overdraft fees alone, more than double the number from 1994."

I don't wanna tell you what to do but, if you are the person from whom they acquired their $38.5 billion, I think you ought to make a consciencious effect to rectify your spending and paying habits.

Would I kid u?

How Much Waste Is Not Much Waste?

According to the New York Times on August 23, 2009, our Energy Department needs to pay attention to its own internal energy practices…
“WASHINGTON – The Energy Department strives to be a leader in championing energy efficiency. Its Web site lists energy-saving tips, while Secretary Steven Chu calls conservation one of the department’s most important goals.
But at many of the agency’s buildings, even at national laboratories where talented scientists seek technological breakthroughs to save energy, the department has failed to use one of the simplest, most effective tools available to any ordinary household – thermostats that automatically dial back the temperature when nobody is around.
A recent audit found that the Energy Department could save more than $11.5 million in energy costs by properly employing these “setback” controls to adjust the heat and conditioning at night or on weekends.
The inspector general reviewed 55 buildings at four department sites for the audit, finding that the Agency had either not used or not suitably maintained setbacks at 35 of those buildings.”
----------------------------------------------------------
The Smart fella? Is not an expert on Energy or on Europe but he has been to Europe and seen how they use energy. In some ways they are smarter than we are. I’ll give you a couple of examples below...
Ø When you drive into many parking garages, and if those garages are unoccupied by a moving object, all the lights are out. As soon as the nose of your car enters, all the lights come on.
Ø When you get out of an elevator in many hotels and apartment buildings, you see that the lights are out. In some cases there is a switch right next to the elevator with which you turn on the lights. In other cases, there is a motion detector that turns them on for you.
Try and imagine how much energy could be saved if only these two examples were employed in every hotel, apartment building and garage in the good ole USofA.
----------------------------------------------------------
I am aware that there are objections to anything and everything and I fully expect that some member of Congress would stand up and make comments like these below about the measly $11.5 million saving potential that the Energy Department could garner by going to Setback Thermometers…
Ø I fail to see why the honorable gentleman is so concerned about saving a mere $11.5 million.
Ø Why 11 ain’t much and .5 is even less.
Ø Does my friend realize how many times $11.5 million could be divided into $1 billion?
Ø I respectively submit that until my colleague can come up with a $1 billion saving, he should not take up this august body’s time with such minor considerations.
Ø I see where I have 20 seconds left in my allotted time and I would like to add that I fail to understand what’s wrong with having only 20 of 55 Energy Department buildings properly using Setback Thermometers (whatever that is). By golly, 20 out of 55 is .364 and in baseball that is good enough to win the batting title in any given year!
Ø Let’s go to Happy Hour!
Great Spirits Often Encounter Violent Opposition from Mediocre Minds
Would I kid u?

While We Were Arguing...

Roosevelt The First (President Theodore) was determined to build the Panama Canal. He was getting a lot of resistance from Congress (things never change). The following is not a quote but it is close, so I will use single quotes ... 'It seems that Congress does not want to build the canal. They only want to argue about building the canal for fifty years. I'm going to build the canal and let them argue about me for fifty years.'

The same can be said about our current situation with the Health Care "Crisis"...

• We hear about how much it is gonna cost.
• We hear what it's gonna cost is too much cost.
• We hear that it is not gonna be that bad because "they" have found a way to save money that is currently being frittered away in waste, fraud and abuse in our current system.
• Various numbers have been thrown around (Congress is very good about throwing numbers around) ... $313 Billion or a Trillion or so (give or take a few Billions or so) ... "a significant sum" ... etc.

Here is what the Smartfella? thinks ... If we have found how to save all this money, why to we have to wait to pass Health Care Reform to save all this money? Why can't we start saving all this money right now and argue about Health Care Reform for the next fifty years or so?

If Theodore were alive, he would be turning over in his grave.

Would I kid u?