How I got rich off of Hurricane Katrina

Right after Hurricane Katrina did its deed I got an idea about how I could set myself up for life. I wasted no time in hiring a high-powered lawyer who, as my representative, contacted ABC, CBS, NBC, CNN, CNBC, MSNBC & NPR to negotiate on my behalf. In short order I signed a contract with these esteemed media outlets that would pay me 25 cents, retroactive to the day after Katrina, for every time they use the word "aftermath" (as in ‘Katrina Aftermath’).

The negotiations were tougher than I expected. I had to give them a counter payment of $5,000 for every time they used the phrase, "George W. Bush is doing a good job."

Within a few weeks, bolstered by the huge sum of money that was rolling into my bank account, I made a down payment on 52 acres in the mountains outside of Ashville, NC.

If I had not weakened in my negotiations with my high-powered lawyer and agreed to pay him half, I could really have been really rich.

Would I kid u?

Not Making THE News

Stop and think with me a moment... Who is in the news? Most often those that we hear about are people/politicians/actors/whatever doing bad things...

• Getting drunk and driving.
• Overdosing on drugs.
• Stealing.
• Lying.
• Cheating.
• Taking steroids.
• Sleeping with someone with which they are not supposed to be sleeping.
• And so on and so forth.

Usually, if you go about your life doing good things, you don't make headlines. Here is a good example. Below you will find what a famous person we all know has been doing for the last 37 years:

• He explored the North Pole with Sir Edmund Hillary.
• He taught for eight years at the University of Cincinnati as University Professor of aerospace engineering.
• He acted as a spokesperson for Chrysler Corporation, General Time Corporation and the Bankers Association of America. He makes it a practice to only act as a spokesman for United States businesses.
• Along with acting as a spokesperson, he also served on the board of several companies including Marathon Oil, Lear Jet, Cincinnati Gas & Electric Company, Taft Broadcasting, United Airlines, Eaton Corporation, AIL Systems and Thiokol. The last he joined after serving on the Rogers Commission investigating the Space Shuttle Challenger disaster caused by a problem with the Thiokol manufactured solid rocket boosters.
• He co-founded the Institute of Engineering and Medicine at the University of Cincinnati, which has improved heart-transplant surgery using space engineering.
• For two years he was Deputy Associate Administrator for Aeronautics, NASA Headquarters Office of Advanced Research and Technology.
• Usage of his name, image and a famous quote of his caused problems over the years. He sued Hallmark Cards in 1994 after they used his name and his most famous quote in a Christmas tree ornament without permission. The lawsuit was settled out of court for an undisclosed amount of money, which he donated to Purdue.
• He is still flying planes at age 75.

If you are like me you have said to yourself at least once in the last 37 years, “What the heck happened to Neil Armstrong since he landed on the moon?"
Would I kid u?