Getting Control Of GOP Debates

Back in the old days when Father Knew Best & we young guys were terribly mortified if we used a bad word in front of young girls, there was a show on TV named, The $64,000 Question. Today we ought to emulate the producers of that show to get control of the GOP Debates.

Did you just say, “Fella, that sounds very interesting, please tell me more.” Don’t worry. I will explain. I always do.

The GOP Debates Are Wild & Crazy...

Ø In the beginning the moderators announce the rules.

Ø The rules are about civility, politeness, taking turns, etc.

Ø Then the moderators make the mistake of asking the first question.

Ø There must be a window back stage because, once the first question is asked, all civility, politeness, taking turns, etc. go flying out of that window.

Ø The Folks Back Home (that’s us) are sitting in our debate watching chairs saying, “What did he say? Did he really say that? Actually he may not have said that because they were all talking at the same time & I am not sure what any of them are saying. This is awful! Why am I sitting here? I must be sitting here because it is my civic duty but, if I can’t understand what they are saying, am I duty bound to even try & do my duty?”

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How Things Would Be Different If The Debates Were Being Run By The $64,000 Question Rules...

Ø Those $64,000 Question people invented the Sound Proof Booth.

Ø The contestant was put into this booth in which he could not hear anything but what was spoken to him by the show’s host & the audience could hear the answer given.

Ø In the GOP Debates all of the candidates should be put into Sound Proof Booths.

Ø The Candidate whose booth is activated would only be able to hear what the Moderator said to him & the other Candidates would be able to hear the question & the answer given by the candidate to whom the Moderator is speaking.

Ø If any of the other candidates started shouting at the answer being given, it would make no never mind because no one could hear the shouting & the shouting candidate would look a lot silly & quite a bit crazy shouting when no one could hear him.

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There you have it... Complete Control of the Debating Process!

Above I pecked out “quite a bit crazy”. Actually this may be an over reach on my part. The Folks Back Home would never believe that a Crazy Person would ever run for President of the United States...Or would they?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Dear Federal Government, May I Please...

We have a problem here in my home county. A venue of vultures are destroying county property in a local county park & flying through the flight path of airplanes trying to take off & land at a nearby airport.

This is from my local newspaper, The Gwinnett Daily Post...

Gwinnett County, GA officials have tried for months to run off at least 250 vultures, mostly black vultures but also some turkey vultures that have been gathering at one of their parks.

The birds are spreading trash and tearing up buildings, equipment and wiring at the park. They have also been flying into the flight paths of planes going to and from the airport.

Although officials have been monitoring the vulture situation at the park for months, county spokesman Joe Sorenson said the Parks and Recreation Department had to go through channels at the Federal Level to get permission to proceed.

Black vultures, it turns out, are a protected species and the federal government has to give it blessing to go ahead.

I would like to repeat the key part of the first paragraph above... “...flying through the flight path of airplanes trying to take off & land at a nearby airport”. This is serious. Would you not think that local authorities would have the authority to shoo away some vultures without having to ask Federal Government permission?

“Shoo” is the key word here. County officials were not asking the Federal Government to kill the vultures but only to try & shoo them away.

County Officials have been Shooing for a while now & birds are proving to be Shoo Resistant.

Thankfully our Federal Government has also given permission to kill the vultures. Now, if you think that sounds like progress, it is & it isn’t because they have permission to kill 5 & only 5 of the birdies.

On the other hand, if the county succeeds in shooing the vultures away they will probably be sued by People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals for using an Effective Shooing Technique.

I can just hear the lawyer for PETA pleading his case in court…

“Your honor, never in a million years did we think, when we heard of the Federal Government giving Gwinnett County permission to shoo away the vultures, did we ever imagine that they would be so uncaring of vulture sensitivities that they would use an Effective Shooing Technique. They ought to be required by law to use a technique that would not work. It is hard to contemplate the horror that each of these birds must have felt as they scurried away to their uncertain & unfamiliar new strange habitat!”

Would you like to look at the bright side? I am one to always point out the bright side of any bad situation. Here is the obvious bright side...

If you are killed because a kettle of these creatures made your plane crash at that nearby airport, you will be able to take solace in knowing you were killed on the Sacrificial Altar of Silliness.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Unemployment Rate & Homicide Rate...You Say You Understand What They Are...But Do You?

Recently I decided I wanted to get a better understanding of the Unemployment & Homicide Rates in the Good Ole USofA. I went to U.S. Government Statisticians Lunch Room & made like I was one of them.

At first, since I was not recognized, I was treated with some skepticism but once I spouted off a sentence that was too long, full of buzz words, which made no sense & chock full of numbers that were unrelated to each other, I was accepted.

After lunch we went back to an office that had a sign over the door that read “Conjureification Department” (that’s where they conjure up numbers to confuse us).

Unemployment Rate...

I was shown a monthly chart that went back to the beginning of reported history of the U.S. Domestic Unemployment Rate. It was quite interesting.

Something caught my eye on the right side of the chart. It was identified as the “Unreported Domestic Unemployment Rate”. Each of these rates had an asterisk next to it that referred to a footnote that simply said, “Ignore This Rate”.

The Domestic Unreported Rate was always much higher that the Domestic Unemployment Rate. When I inquired about this rate, I was told that this was the Unemployment Rate after adding in all the people who had stopped looking for work.

I asked how it was determined that a person had stopped looking for work. The explanation I got was so convoluted, long & complicated that I can’t possible repeat it to you. I did try & get a better understanding so as to educate you as best I could but I must have pressed too hard because I was told to shut up.

I then asked if a person who had stopped looking for work still unemployed? The answer was yes but I was then told that the Folks Back Home did need to know about this. I pressed again & I again I must have pressed too hard because I was told to shut up.

I have always been told, You Can’t Beat a Dead Horse. At about this point I came to the realization that I had gone about as far as I could go on the Domestic Unemployment Rate & decided, If The Horse Is Dead, Get Off The Horse, so I moved on the Homicide Rate.

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Homicide Rate...

A few years ago the Homicide Rate in Honduras was reported by the United Nations as being 91 Killings for every 100,000 people (highest in the world at that time). At the same time the comparable Homicide Rate in the Good Ole USofA was Fewer Than 5.

While looking at the U.S. figures, I took note that the figures for Chicago’s Homicide Rate were set off to the side. When I asked what was going on with the Chicago Statistics they said that Chicago was not included in the Fewer Than 5 U.S. Homicide Rate.

At first the statisticians tried to change the subject but I really thought I was onto something, so I continued to ask why Chicago was not included in the U.S. Homicide Rate. Again I must have pressed too hard because I was again told to shut up.

I did not give up on this one. I continued to press them. All of them became very uneasy & started to sweat a lot & eventually they saw that I was not going to be deterred.

Finally the Chief Statistician lowered head & in a very soft voice said, “If we included Chicago, we would be higher than Honduras”.

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In the future if you want the unvarnished truth & getting that truth would require me to contact the U.S. Government’s Statisticians, you are going to have to seek that truth in someone else’s blog because they won’t let me in the front door anymore. I have been told to never come back.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

“Must Read” Newspaper Articles...Again

In the past I have directed my Silliness at the Foolishness practiced by my local newspaper of labeling at least one article in every issue as Must Read.
I really don’t have time to read everything but I am concerned that these Must Read Articles might be a requirement of a Federal Law. If that be the case, I am fearful that I might get sent to jail because, don’t tell anyone, I do not read every one of them.
The Headline for a recent Must Read Article was:

Monkey Cannot Own Copyright to ‘Selfie’, U.S. Judge Says

Thank heaven there is a least one judge still left in the Good Ole USofA who has Ole Fashioned Common Sense. If you don’t recognize the term “Common Sense”, Google It!.
Here are excerpts from the article...
Ø A rare crested macaque that took a now internationally famous "selfie" cannot own the copyright to the photograph because he is not human, a U.S. judge ruled in a suit brought by animal rights group People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals on behalf of the monkey.
Ø PETA brought the case in September on behalf of the seven-year-old monkey Naruto against British photographer David Slater, who self-published the photo in a wildlife book.
Ø Naruto, who resides on a reserve in Indonesia, took the image and several others in 2011 using a camera left unattended by Slater, the suit said.
Ø PETA argued he should be declared owner of the photos and receive damages for copyright infringement that would be used for habitat preservation.
Ø PETA General Counsel Jeff Kerr told Reuters that the group is reviewing its legal options.
Ø "Although we are disappointed, we are celebrating the fact that this is a historic case," he said. "For the first time we are arguing that an animal can own property, rather than merely being a piece of property himself."
My only disappointment in this judge is he processed the case through his court using proper judicial procedures. My regret is that he did not say, “Get the hell out of my courtroom!” as soon as he realized what was being presented before him.
Would I kid u?
Smartfella
Lagniappe: Not only does this judge have Common Sense but the way he plays with words brings a tear to my word loving heart. He said in his court papers, “Monkey see, monkey sue is not good law”.

The 2,713 Issue Non-Voter

This Foolishness...Or Is It is about a very Conscientious Voter. He studies the issues. He quit his job years ago & now spends his time watching CNN, Fox News, NBC, ABC, CBS, NPR & all the others all day long.

He turns on his local radio stations on the hour & the half hour & listens to the News, Traffic & Weather (never realizing that the News, Traffic & Weather is 95%Commercials).

He has made a computerized list of 2,713 Key Issues that are important to him. He is looking for a candidate who feels the same about all of his 2,713 Key Issues. As the Big Election approaches a certain candidate is more & more capturing his attention.

Then one day he finds his Perfect Candidate is not Perfect. He is devastated when he realizes that his candidate does not support 1 of his 2,713 Key Issues. Right then & there he determines that he cannot possibly vote for such an Awful Candidate.

The end result is our Conscientious Voter does not vote after all. As they say on the Nightly News... He Sits This One Out.

The candidate who gets elected does not support 2,712 of our Non-Voting Conscientious Voter Key Issues but it just so happens that he does support the 1 Key Issue that turned him into a Non-Voter because his Perfect Candidate proved to be Imperfect.

After the Newly Elected Candidate gets into office he announces he “Has Evolved” with regard to that 1 Key Issue & he no longer supports it.

Ready For The Moral?

The Only Candidate Who Agrees With You On All Your Key Issues Is You (& you are not running for office).

If you think this blog posting is confusing, think how confused you would be if you had had to peck it out.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe:

Thinking Intelligent Voters... If they would only vote if they found a candidate that agreed with them on all their key issues, none of them would vote.

Non-Thinking Unintelligent Not Conscientious Voters... That leaves them to decide everything for us.

Cuban Cigars In The 7 Eleven

As a loyal reader of my Foolishness you are aware that I do not single out the Silliness of only one political party. Why should I? There is enough ongoing Silliness in both parties to continue to cause me to run to my computer saying to myself, “I can’t believe what I just read! I got to create a Foolishness...Or Is It to get this silliness out to my Dear Readers! They are going to love this one!”

As proof of my bipartisanship, think back to the number of times I even mention a politician by name (except for Senators Foghorn Leghorn, Dudley Doo Right or Snidley Whiplash). I am going to do it again. I am not going to mention names in this posting but I am aware that, after you finish reading it, you may think I mentioned a name because the nameless person I don’t mention is pretty obvious.

My Unnamed Politician has been pushing Cuba & everything Cuban for more than a year now. He is making it look so good that many of our fellow citizens are selling everything they own in this country & moving to the Cuban Paradise 90 miles south of us.

In some people’s minds there is finally the opportunity to go lie on a beach & get a suntan. They are so wrapped up in everything Cuban that they have completely forgotten that we have beaches in the Good Ole USofA.

No matter how much you are a supporter of my Unnamed Politician, all of you ought to agree that he is about to go too far with the Executive Order (did I just give away his identity?) he is about to announce.

My sources in D.C. have obtained a copy of the Executive Order & you are about to be among the first to read it...

“My Fellow Americans, I am pleased to announce to you today a sweeping dictate that I am certain will be greeted with enthusiasm all over the Fruited Plain. It is not often that I get the pleasure to announce something that is entirely without controversy & will have full support from both side of the aisle & all of the folks back home.

Effective immediately, if anyone in the Good Ole USofA wants to leave this country to go on vacation, I am directing that the only place they can go to is Cuba.”

Now who could argue with that?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

If It’s A Good Thing Then We Must Go All The Way...Right?

Don’t blame Frank Sinatra because he sang All The Way. It goes far beyond him.

The Fella usually gives 3 Silly examples to prove his Foolishness. I will not disappoint this time...

• Your favorite baseball team has a player who hit 70 Home Runs last season. 70 is a lot but would it not be better if he hit a Home Run every time he came to bat. Of course it would. All The Way, Baby!
• You have a favorite charity. You find out that only 20% of donations go to benefit the people that the charity was set up to help. Would it not be wonderful if every dollar you donate to that charity went directly to the needy? Of course it would. All The Way, Baby!
• The people in Central America are coming to the Good Ole USofA in order to benefit their families. Would it not be the height of kindness if every one of them would be allowed to come to live in America? Of course it would. All The Way, Baby!

Did I just hear you say, “Hold on a minute, Fella, that’s going overboard. That would overburden the Good Ole USofA. That would cause consternation & gridlock in housing, health care, schooling, welfare payments, etc. That would not be a good thing!”

Just when I get to the point where I think I understand you, my dear readers, I don’t understand you at all. You say you are a kind & caring person. This is epitome of kind & caring. All The Way, Baby!

OK, as usual, I will alleviate your concerns. After we, who were here before they were here, get to the point where we don’t want to be here anymore, we can all go live in Central America. After all, there’s no one living down there anymore.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: After hearing what The Pope said on his trip to Mexico, I’m sure glad he does not read my blog…Or does he?

Why Was Hillary Clinton So Happy After Her Devastating Defeat In New Hampshire?

This Is What Democracy Looks Like!...Or Does It?

The reason she was not worried is because she knew something very few of us know about...Super Delegates.

Are you tired of the never ending attack on your senses every day & night about the current Presidential Campaign? Of course you are. The only way you could not be tired of all this craziness is if you were blind, deaf & had been locked in cellar in Tibet for the last year & a half with your only companions being those 3 Monkeys...See No Evil, Speak No Evil & Hear No Evil.

It is mind numbing to think about all the money that was spent in Iowa & New Hampshire.

It is not just the money but it is also the effort that has gone into these 2 pip squeak states...Town Hall Meetings (one candidate said he did 107 in New Hampshire), News Conferences, TV Advertising, Radio Advertising, Speeches, Interviews, Focus Groups, Signage, Lie Creation Work Shops, etc.

Since all this has been done to get Delegates, let’s take a look at the Delegate Count after Iowa & New Hampshire...

• Clinton has 32 delegates.
• Sanders has 36 delegates.

By law I may not be entitled to make an Editorial Comment but, if I were so entitled, I would say something like, “All of this for only 68 delegates? Now there is a waste! If they had spent that amount of money & effort to cure cancer, it would not be long before we would be remembering its devastating effects not experiencing its devastating effects.”

The end result up until this point is we have a Nip (32) & Tuck (36) Contest! We have a Real Horse Race! We have a Battle Royal! ... Or do we?

Enter the Super delegates. The real count after the Super Delegates are factored in is...

• Clinton has 461 delegates.
• Sanders has 50 (lucky Sanders himself is a Super Delegate or his count would only be 49 & then he would really be in trouble).

Now I ask you, is it fair that we have been subjected to all of this noise & consternation for only 68 Delegates?

Since it takes 2,382 to win the Democrat Nomination, 712 (30%) Super Delegates are a powerful group of people!

Makes you almost wish you were Deaf, Blind & in a Cellar in Tibet.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: Did I hear you just say that the Republicans are just as bad? The Fella is about to make you wish you had not just said that to yourself. The Republicans do not have any Super delegates. Could it be that Republicans are more Democratic than Democrats?

A Genius Stopped Dead In His Tracks

Stephen Hawking Predicts, “This Pill Will Change Humanity"

[Harvard Study Shows Brain Boosting “Smart Drug” Proven To Double IQ Is the Biggest Discovery in History]

Stephen Hawking credits his ability to function and maintained focused on such a high level to a certain set of “smart drugs” that enhance cognitive brain function and neural connectivity, while strengthening the prefrontal cortex and boosting memory and recall.

In an interview with Discovery, Stephen Hawking said that his brain is sharer than ever, more clear and focused and he credits a large part to using Neurocell Hawking went on to add “The brain is like a muscle, you got to work it out and use supplements just like body builders use, but for your brain, and that’s exactly what I’ve been doing to enhance my mental capabilities”.

Everyone that has taken this, from athletes like Tom Brady to musicians like Kanye West have nothing but praise for the brain booster, which doubles IQ, skyrockets energy levels and connects areas of the brain not previously connected.

(The above wording is from a 2/14/16 written article from The Discovery Channel.)

Since we are both smart fellas, I am on a first name basis with Stephen Hawking. He often calls me when he wants to kick around ideas. This time I called him. We exchange calls like this every time one of us comes up with a new Biggest Discovery of the Century.

I congratulated him & conveyed how excited I know he must be about his Smart Pill. I was surprised at how subdued he seemed & I inquired as to what had put such a damper on the enthusiasm he had so obviously conveyed to the world in the Discovery Channel Article.

He said he felt badly because he had said in the article that everyone who had taken this pill has experienced double IQ, skyrocketing energy levels and they had connected areas of the brain not previously connected.

He went on to say he lamented the fact that he had spoken too soon. At time he said what he said it was a true statement but the results had not come back from the part of the experiment he had done on the U.S. Congress. Those results are now in & not a scintilla of progress had been made by our Elected Representatives.

His voice then became mournful and trailed off as he said... “Not the slightest bump in IQ, absolutely no perk up in energy levels nor was there any discernible new brain connections...”

I felt so badly for him but before I could even start to say something to make him feel better he simply hung up the phone. He has never hung up on me without saying goodbye before but I really don’t blame him. I could feel his pain.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Are You Becoming A Noticer Because Of Me?

I know all of you have been working on your Noticing Skills, therefore, I will now give you a Pop Quiz. I know this is hard but do your best.

What’s strange about this paragraph from the WSJ on January 31, 2016?...

“United Continental holdings, Inc. is taking the unusual step of calling back all 12,000 of its pilots for an extra training day over the next three months, an aggressive response to a spate of serious safety incidents more than a year ago and to prepare for looming changes facing the industry.”

I can see that all too many of you did not see anything strange. For those of you that did see the strange, I am proud to be your leader & your inspiration as you advance in your quest to become Really Picky.

There are three points that should have caught your eye...

• Aggressive Response
• Serious Safety Incidents
• More Than a Year Ago

If they were being Aggressive about the Serious, why has it taken More Than a Year to address the Serious?

Later in the article my concerns expressed above were reinforced by how United reacted on February 25, 2015...

“United considered them serious enough to send a dramatic two-page safety bulletin to its pilots early last year.”

Did the Dramatic Bulletin Dramatically say something to this effect?...

“This is kind of situation United will not put up with & we will be taking action to remedy these violations. However, it is Basketball Season & shortly the College National Championship Games will be upon us, which will be followed by the NBA Playoffs & then, before you know it, it will be NFL Football Season. We will get seriously concerned about this right after the Super Bowl next year. Until then, be very careful.”

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: I don’t mean to be picky…Or do I? but I have done a bit of flying back in the old days & I must quibble about something I saw in the link “to a spate of serious safety incidents” above. In it, one of the Safety Violations against United Pilots was, “Another flight cited in the document landed with less than the mandatory-minimum fuel reserves”. Now I ask you, what were they supposed to do, keep circling the airport until the fuel reserves got back up above Mandatory-Minimum?

It’s not easy being me.

Being A Good Winner Is Easy But Being A Sore Loser Is Hard Work

In all the Hullabaloo about how Cam Newton handled himself in the Super Bowl 50 Press Conference, I noticed something he said in the Press Conference that has not been commented on by anyone. I am now going to comment on the Not Commented On...

“It wasn't nothing special that they did”

Sir Isacked Newton has just written Newton’s Nonsensical Law of Football. All of what you are about to read below, according Sir Isacked Newton, equates to Nothing Special...

Ø Super Bowl 50 was 1 of the 3 games this season in which Newton did not throw a Touchdown Pass...Something Special!

Ø Newton had a season low 55.2 Passer Rating...Something Special!

Ø Newton was sacked a season high 6 times...Something Special!

Ø While Newton was sacked 6 times, receiver Ted Ginn, Jr. also was sacked once on an aborted trick play. The 7 sacks matched the most by a team in the Super Bowl...Something Special!

Ø Newton was sacked once in each of the previous 2 playoff games but, as stated above, 6 times in this game...Something Special!

Ø Newton was pressured 21 times a season record against the Panthers...Something Special!

Ø The Broncos seemingly dominated from beginning to end...Something Special!

Ø Newton fumbled twice. One resulted in a touchdown & one led to a touchdown...Something Special!

Ø Both of Newton’s fumbles were Strip Fumbles by the same man, Von Miller...Something Special!

Ø On Von Miller’s first strip of Newton he burst through and didn't even go for the sack. He reached directly for the ball and stripped it from Newton. The ball then rolled to the goal line, where Malik Jackson pounced on it for a 10-0 lead...Something Special!

Ø Von Miller had 6 tackles, 2 1/2 sacks, 2 hurries, 2 forced fumbles and 1 pass defensed...Something Special!

Ø Newton seemed pretty stressed the whole game...Something Special!

Ø Carolina led the league with 500 points but in Super Bowl 50 it was held to its fewest points of the season...Something Special!

Ø Place Kicker McManus kicked 3 Field Goals (he had kicked 5 against Pittsburg in an earlier playoff game)...Something Special!

Ø Bronco’s Jordon Norwood ran back the longest punt return in Super Bowl History...Something Special!

Ø According to Kevin Clark in the Wall Street Journal, “Broncos players and coaches said after the game that the Panthers didn’t do anything Denver hadn’t seen before on game film. But the Broncos did plenty new”...Something Special!

Ø Sometimes a Broncos Rusher (including MVP Von Miller) did something very special by doing nothing. They did not rush Newton. This left a defender in the middle of the field where Newton did not expect there to be a defender. This confused Newton about what he had decided to do before he snapped the ball...Something Special!

Ø Again according to Kevin Clark in the Wall Street Journal, “The game was a 60-minute example of how to stop the dynamic Panthers offense, which led the NFL in scoring this season. How did they do it? A brilliant convergence of game plan, athleticism and defensive discipline that combined to give Newton his worst game at the worst possible time”...Something Special!

Ø Denver Broncos linebacker Danny Trevathan had one career fumble recovery in 56 career games coming into Super Bowl 50. He had two fumble recoveries against the Panthers, the second of which came in the third quarter after Denver safety T.J. Ward intercepted Newton. Ward stumbled as he got to his feet and lost the ball as he was tackled, but Trevathan was able to pounce on it, maintaining possession for Denver at its own 7-yard line...Something Special!

One final point...By saying, “It Wasn’t Nothing Special” Sir Isacked Newton was actually using a Double Negative to say it was Something because if it Wasn’t Nothing it Must Have Been Something.

What a guy! He is even in control of the English Language...Or is he?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

London...Paris...Rome...Des Moines

Have I Become Too Cynical…Or Is It I Can See The Obvious?

Just last week the Candidates were saying the likes of...

• I just love Iowa!
• There are no finer people in the Good Ole USofA than the fine people in the great state of Iowa!
• I just love hogs!
• Ethanol is one of the greatest gifts to come out of the Chemical Industry!
• A Hawkeye has always been my favorite mascot!
• The people of Iowa always make me feel welcome when I come here. As I’ve always said, “Iowans Ames to Please!”
• God bless the great state of Iowa!

Yesterday all candidates taht are still in the race were asked if they enjoyed their time in Iowa. Each of them said some or all of the following...

• Iowa? ... Iowa? ... I’m drawing a blank. Give me a hint. It’s been a long campaign.
• Would you repeat the question?
• There you go again with your Gotcha Questions.
• Just a moment. Let me check my Smartphone Calendar. Ah, yes, I found it. It says I’m scheduled to return to Iowa (wherever that is) on January 27, 2019.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

It Is An Open Secret That The Secret Ballot Is No Secret

It has happened again. I was listening to my radio which is hot to the touch this morning because it won’t stop reporting to me all the important & unimportant information we got out of the Iowa Caucuses & are getting out of the New Hampshire Primary.

Several weeks back I blogged about how the Media attacks anyone who becomes a Front Runner. That Blog Posting was inspired by the brief emergence of Ben Carson as Front Runner. He was certainly made short work of.

Well it’s happing again. This time we have two new poor souls who have dared try & jump up to Front Runner. They are Cruz who was #1 in Iowa & Rubio who was #3 in Iowa.

Rubio rose so fast that the Media has decided to get ahead of the game in case he keeps on keeping on & gets to be #1. It’s called in Media Circles a Preemptive Strike.

The latest hot issue is the Media’s concern that Marko Rubio may have an unseen advantage. Many in the Good Ole USofA are jumping on the Rubio Bandwagon because they still feel badly because our only Irish President was assassinated. They are anxious to vote for another Irish President & they think Marco Rubio is Irish because they think his name is Mark O’Rubio.

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You do remember that I am a Noticer. Here is what I just noticed about what my radio was just shouting at me about. A Talking Head said the following, “We have to go through the voting data & find out why people voted the way they voted”.

How is that possible? It is a Secret Ballot, is it not? We can only know how many voted for this candidate & how many for that candidate but we ought not to be able to know as much detail as the pollsters say they know about the voters.

Two Past Blogs...

Exit Polling

I could understand...

• 55% say they voted for this guy.
• 45% say they voted for that guy.

It is the specific, exacting and minute detail that I don't understand...

• 42% of the white voters, who went to two years of college, who were left-handed carpenters, voted for this guy.
• 63% of fallen-away Catholics, who have been married three times, where the first and third marriages were to the same person, voted for that guy.
• 54% of those who voted in the 1992 election, but did not vote in the 1996, nor the 2000 election, but returned to the voting booth in the 2004, 2008 & 2012 elections, voted for this guy.

Oh well, so much for Secret Balloting.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

My Fondest Wish

There is no way to fully unite a country as large as the United States but my fondest wish would be that all of us refuse to answer any questions from any political pollster about anything political. This would drive the politicians absolutely nuts. Think of the positive results that would come out of an I-Ain't-Gonna-Tell-You-Anything America...

It would prevent politicians from tweaking their latest campaign pitch to address how the public reacted to their prior campaign pitch.

They would be forced to tell us what they really plan to do when elected, instead of telling us what they think we want them to do when elected.

It would drive the politicians absolutely nuts.

They would be forced to think out their positions and stick with them and hope for the best.

It would put every polling company out of business.

It would drive the politicians absolutely nuts.

One final tirade ... The silliest one is when we are told the results of a poll done by a Democratic or a Republican Pollster. It is strange how the "results" always come out favoring their party's positions. I guess I could be made to believe the poll did come out in favor of their party's positions but, you will never get me to believe, that any poll that did not favor their party's positions was just not published at all. It's sort of like them saying, "We are going to keep polling the American People until the American People get it right."

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

No, This Country Is Not Out Of Control, Provided This Country Agrees To All Our Nonsensical, Nonnegotiable & Ever Changing Demands

Last year one of the Good Ole USofA’s Institutions of “Higher Learning” was confronted with a list of Nonnegotiable Demands from their Student Body that had the faculty frantically Googling (in the ole days they would have gone to the library) to try & understand what it was that they must give in to...

The president apologize for the university’s “institutional legacy of white supremacy, colonialism, anti-black racism, anti-Latinx racism, anti-Native American racism, anti-Native/indigenous racism, anti-Asian racism, anti-Middle Eastern racism, heterosexism, cis-sexism, xenophobia, anti-Semitism, ableism, mental health stigma, and classism.”

I tried to Google the above paragraph of demands but, as I got to the fourth one, my Smartphone started to get hot & smoke in my hand.

Also, while I was researching material for this blog posting, a popup popped up (it is interesting how popup keep popping up even though the browser’s popup blocker is on guard to prevent popup from popping up) which presented me with the opportunity to take a course described as...

“The Everyday Self Love Course...Free yourself from toxic self-talk and build a daily practice of self-love.”

I feel like Sergeant Schultz on Hogan’s Heroes when he said, “I know nothing!”

Since every one of my dear readers is smarter than the Smartfella, I know that you completely understand what all of the above means. Next time we get together, please enlighten me. Until then I will continue to wallow in my own ignorance, since my Smartphone has refused to help me.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

What Is Sillier Than Silly … Part 2

In honor of the Iowa Caucuses today I have gone back into my Archives to bring you a Presidential Campaign Silliness from the 2008 Election. Do you think we have progressed past Silly since then. I sure don’t.

We are still mired in nonsense. When your TV is going crazy tonight about Everything Iowa think back to this Blog Posting. Tonight will be Crazy Nuts. It will be all about picking out the Fly Chit from the Pepper. Thank heaven we have the Talking Heads to help us tell the difference.

Some of us own Smart TVs. If you are one of them, I say you ought to get your money back. If your TV were really Smart, it would turn itself off.

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This came from the Associated Press July 8, 2008...

Headline … Pet owners prefer McCain over Obama…
“An AP-Yahoo! News poll found that pet owners favor McCain over Obama 42 percent to 37 percent, with dog owners particularly in McCain's corner.”

Ah come on America! Coverage of our Presidential Elections is many times silly but we have now gone beyond silliness.

Allow me to predict the kind of nonsense we will be subjected to in future elections…

• People with spaces between their teeth are overwhelmingly in What's His Name's corner.
• Is it true that What’s His Name once ate an escargot without removing it from its shell?
• Due to that fact that What's His Name uses Heavy Cream in his coffee is there a danger that, once elected, he will attempt to outlaw Half & Half?

The real bad news is it’s not over when it's over. We in this country are now being subjected to the Unending Presidential Campaign Cycle. You can bet that any day now we will be reading speculation about whom Chelsea Clinton will choose as her running mate and whether that running mate prefers dogs or cats.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Guaranteed To Be Silvact Free

Below is a Blog I sent out 2 years ago. I know you are excited to have the opportunity to read it again (below) but, before you do, I am adding this Gluten Update from Consumer Reports...

Beware Of: Gluten Myths. Unless you are one of just 7% of Americans who have a reaction to gluten, there is no reason to avoid it. In fact, gluten may be good for you, by helping blood pressure and inflammation. Gluten-free doesn’t necessarily mean healthier. Gluten-free foods often have more fat, more sugar and are more expensive than other foods.

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Here Is the Blog from February 2013…

In America today we are worried about lots of things attacking us. One of our new fears has gotten to be one of our biggest fears…

We Are All Afraid Of Gluten

We lie awake at night hoping that the Gluten that is already in us will not clog something up, make our hearts attack us, stop something from functioning properly or start something like pimples functioning that ought to be lying dormant.

Millions of Americans are now feeling comfortable with themselves because they are on a Gluten Free Diet.

However, research has shown that 87.4% of Americans are on a Gluten free Diet & 72.7% of that 87.4% do not know what Gluten is.

I wonder how much frenzy could be created if someone with a morbid sense of humor made up a mysterious word that sounded like something Americans ought to be worried about and spread fear about all the evils it can do to the human body.

This type of Information Dissemination is one of the “benefits” of the Internet

A word like Silvact ought to do the trick. Who in the heck wants to get all clogged up with Silvact?

Actually it would not be a lie to advertise that your product is Silvact Free because your product is Silvact Free because there is no such thing as Silvact.

Back To Gluten...

The real shock to Glutenless Americans is going to be when National Enquirer reveals that “Gluten Free” does not mean there is no Gluten in there. It only means they just do not charge you for the Gluten that is in there.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

The Passing Of A Legend

Every time I pass through a checkout line in any darn near any kind of store I see on the Impulse Purchase Rack a huge glamorous picture of Oprah emblazoned on the cover of Oprah Magazine.

I’m sorry to say that the Oprah Federation of All Things Having To Do With Anything & Everything About Oprah has just announced that Oprah Magazine will terminate publication immediately.

They have run out of pictures of The Oprah for the cover.

It’s a sad day indeed.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Is anybody listening to me?

U.S. Sen. Johnny Isakson announced recently that he is pursuing legislation that will stop the Internal Revenue Service from rehiring employees that it previously fired for poor performance and bad conduct.

Isakson is a co-sponsor on the Ensuring Integrity in the IRS Workforce Act of 2016. His office said the legislation is a response to a recent report that accused the IRS of frequently rehiring employees it had previously fired, including ones whose personnel file was marked “Do Not Rehire”.

The Fella first became aware of this silliness in April of last year. Now, in January of 2016, Congress is still poking holes in the air with their fingers about this silly practice because the IRS continues to say, “What problem?”

Here is the link to my April 20, 2015 Foolishness...Or Is It? Posting...

http://forii.blogspot.com/2015/04/getting-good-employees-is-easy-all-you.html

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

That Idea Is So Stupid We Just Have To Do It Again!

Once upon a time the Good Ole USofA (actually it was our 9% pproval Rated Congress) decided all breathing Americans “deserved” to have a Home of Their Own, regardless of whether or not they could afford to pay for a Home of Their Own.

The end result was the Financial Crisis of 2008 which led to The Great Recession of 2008. The passing of time has proven we are truly stupid because we are setting ourselves up for what could turn out to be The Great Recession-Part 2.

Why is it we think, if we change the terms we use to describe Silly, it is no longer Silliness?

If we decided that the word “Murder” had too negative a connotation & we changed the Act of Murdering to the Act of Flower Sniffing is the dead person not still dead?

Community Reinvestment Act was a Federal Law passed to “encourage” commercial banks and saving associations to help meet the needs of borrowers in all segments of their communities. Congress passed the Act in 1977 to reduce discriminatory credit practices against low-income neighborhoods, a practice known as Redlining.

The term "Redlining" was coined in the late 1960s by John McKnight, a sociologist and community activist. It refers to the practice of marking a red line on a map to delineate the area where banks would not invest; later the term was applied to discrimination against a particular group of people (usually by race or sex) irrespective of geography.

I certainly agree that it ought to be against the law to deny a mortgage to a person who has worked hard, saved money & accumulated the financial where-with-all to afford to buy a particular house simply because that hard working, money saving & financially sound person is a minority or is of a certain race or is of a certain sex.

I would, however, contend that it is the height of foolishness to give a mortgage to a person who has demonstrated that he cannot afford to pay for that mortgage. This is not helping the going-to-default-for-sure person. This is actually doing a disservice to that person. I am not swayed in this belief by an apologist who says, after the bankruptcy, “Yea but he really enjoyed living in that nice house for 14 months before he went bankrupt”.

Changing Things For The Sake Of Changing Things...

• The Community Reinvestment Act has evolved into the HomeReady Program.
• “Subprime” is a word that we all know to be a bad thing (actually most of us only know it is a bad thing but do not know what it means). The Word Changing Department of the Federal Government is changing “Subprime” to “Alternative” Mortgages.

Changing Things In Order To Trick the Folks Back Home (that’s us) Into Thinking That Congress Is Really Doing Something That Is Not Silly...

• Community Reinvestment was directed at Minorities but HomeReady (aks: DefaultReady) is going to be directed at High-Risk Immigrants.
• In order to qualify for the mortgage, instead of counting only the income of the person who is signing on the mortgage the HomeReady Program counts the incomes of all persons living in the house (non-borrowers).
• The Fella wonders if there is going to be an expansion of this law that prevents the non-borrowers from moving out of the house until the mortgage is paid off.
• To add stupidity to crazy, it is also going to be permissible to count the income of people not living in the house, like the borrower’s parents.
• What mental midget up in D.C. really thinks that non-borrowers are legally required to pay or will pay anything toward the mortgage?

What me worry?

Fannie Mae & Freddie Mac are not going to pay when this all comes tumbling down. They benefited from the Community Reinvestment Act & they are now pushing the HomeReady Program...

CNNMoney reported in 2011, "Mortgage finance giants Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac received the biggest federal bailout of the financial crisis. And nearly $100 million of those tax dollars went to lucrative pay packages for top executives, filings show."

Wasn’t this the type on silliness that led to the last housing market collapse? Could it happen again? Sure it could. Do politicians care? It doesn't appear so.

Would politicians kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: Much of the research for this posting was done by Cal Thomas... http://thecitizen.com/opinion-columnists/too-big-fail-sequel

When Push Comes To Shove In The House Of Representatives

The new Speaker of the House has his House upset at him. He is trying to get the members to pay attention to what is going on in the House. It has become apparent that these Dedicated Long Serving Public Servants are pushing back.

Many have started calling him (behind his back) “Pushy” after he delivered a memo to the House entitled, “Enough with the lollygagging”.

One of the most often spoken words in the House for some time now has been “Sanctions”. Putting Sanctions on Iran is something that will certainly get their attention...Or will it?

The Speaker last week started nudging the chamber to get a bit more efficient when voting. His message must not have sunk in, because so many lawmakers missed the vote on the high-profile Iran Sanctions Legislation that the voting ended up being scrapped because of lack of interest & had to be rescheduled for later this month.

I got into my car & drove to Washington, D.C. a few days ago to see this situation played out for myself. Yes I get in my car & drive up to Washington a lot. Actually my car has started to rebel against these frequent trips. As I neared Washington on this trip a message popped up on my GPS Screen that said, “Why don’t you just move to D.C.? It would be a lot easier on me!”

I talked to many members of the House who were really upset with Pushy Ryan...

Ø Representative Leghorn was very open with his opposition to what the Speaker is trying to do. He told me that when Ryan first arrived in Congress he had gone out of his way to take him under his wing. On several occasions he took Ryan with him on Coffee Breaks & showed him how to turn a 20 minute Coffee Break into a 75 minute discussion about Football.

Ø Representative Whiplash told me how he tried to educate Ryan about how long one could sit absolutely still at his desk before cobwebs started to form between his arms & his upper body.

Ø Representative Swindle told me how he had once hoped that Ryan might have what it took to break his long-standing record of missing more votes than anyone else in the House but Ryan disappointed him by not showing any interest in going after this milestone.

Representative Igotmine (has been in up there so long that he can’t remember which State originally sent him to Congress) was not bothered in the least by what the new Speaker was trying to do. He said he intended to be present on the floor of the House whenever Pushy directed he should be there because he has developed the ability to sit at his desk with his eyes wide open while being sound asleep. He seemed particularly proud as he explained to me how he had even developed the sleep mannerism where he periodically scratched his nose while still being in Deep REM Sleep.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella