Everyone In My Neck Of The Woods Is All Excited!

Another Subject Title Of This Posting Could Be... The Most Anticipated After Picture in the History of Before & After Pictures

Calling on my unerring ability to see the future, I predict that the After Picture referred to above will never happen. Please read through this posting until the end to see my irrefutable logic.

First the reason for the excitement...

Krispy Kreme Is Opening a New Store

It is going to be absolute chaos! The Krispy people have set up a bunch of yummy giveaways to ensure that the chaos is chaotic to the nth degree (whatever that means).

On opening day...

• The first person in line will receive a free dozen original glazed doughnuts every week for a year.
• Customers 2 through 100 will receive a free dozen original glazed doughnuts every month for a year.

My prediction is directed at lucky customer #1. As stated in the opening paragraph of this blog posting, I predict that the After Picture will never happen because somewhere between weeks #48 & #51, before that picture can be taken, customer #1 will explode. The only evidence that he ever existed will be his gooey shoes.

Did I hear some of you question why the shoes would remain after such a horrific explosion? Allow me to explain...

Ever since I put the late Albert Einstein’s picture in my Foolishness Office, he has been paying me visits on a regular basis. He does this because no one else appears to know who he is...was. Simply stated, the man is lonely.

He explained to me that the reason the shoes would remain intact is, when things explode, they Blow Up not Down &, obviously, his shoes are down.

Who am I (or you) to question his opinion on this? This man knows all about explosions.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(319)

This Blog Posting Is Apolitical

At first blush those of you who lean to the Left may take this Blog Posting to be an attack on politicians you support. If this is what you see, you are not seeing what I am attempting to point out. Please read slowly.

This is not a Left/Right Diatribe. This is my way of pointing out that our 9% Approval Rated Congress is obsessed with spending money. Their mindset is more akin to... If we spend a lot we have done a lot.

Here is my Apolitical Thinking...

If the Fella had read that Congress had spent $100,000 on their "Torture Report" he probably would have said, "Why did you spend such a large amount of money? What is wrong with you guys? You are obsessed with spending for the sake of spending!"

This indignation proves The Fella has no understanding of the ability of Congress to open our wallets.

The actual number spent by our Drunken Sailor 9% Approval Rated Congress on this report was $40,000,000!!!

Because of my past attempts to educate you, my dear readers, I know you know how much $1,000,000 is but, for the sake of those new to my Blog's Wisdom, I'll lay it out again...

A million is a thousand thousand.

By spending Forty Million Dollars our duly elected Congress has spent...

Forty Thousand Thousand Dollars

It seems to me that 100 thousand dollars ought to be more than enough to spend on any investigation.

Senator Foghorn Leghorn has been looking over my shoulder as I peck this posting out & he has just become agitated at what I am saying. He finally said, "Son, why son, forty ain't much! Hell, forty is not even fifty. Everyone knows fifty is a lot more than forty. If we had spent fifty, you might have a point, son, but you are just being picky, son! You ought to use your excellent communication skill to do something of more importance like getting Postal Workers to Smile Once a Day!"

The Senator really means well & actually is a reasonable fellow. He saw the look of anguish on my face when I contemplated the impossibility of trying to get a postal worker to smile. In an effort to show his compassion, he quickly changed my assignment, "Son, why son, I feel your pain. I'll give you an easier task. Why don't you get the Mississippi River to change course & flow out to California? They need the water out there."

He saw the relief of my face as I realized my new assignment was much easier. We both felt better.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(496)

Lagniappe: I often make reference to Senator Foghorn Leghorn. If you don’t know who he is, click below. Watch as much as you can stand...

Foghorn Leghorn Rants

(Issue: It might take a minute for the picture to appear after the sound starts. If so, click the refresh button. Heck if I know what the problem is.)

Understanding The Logic Behind Congressional Inner Workings

I am certain that your excitement is at a fever pitch about the promise contained in the Subject of this Blog Posting. I am excited also.

Yesterday I was watching a House of Representatives Hearing. The Chairman in his introductory remarks said the following, “All Members Will Have Seven Days to Submit Opening Statements For The Record”.

Did I just hear some of you say that his statement about Opening Statement confuses you? It seems to be pretty straight forward to me.

Sometimes I am at a loss for words to understand why my dear readers do not understand what they do not understand. You are obviously intelligent because you are smart enough to read my foolishness but many times you just can’t understand plain English!

Please allow me to allow me to explain in the simplest wording I can put together. In this context...

• “Opening” refers to the beginning.
• “Seven Days” means anywhere from 24 hours to 168 hours after the beginning.

Now I am confused! Is the Chairman telling us that committee members can actually tailor their Opening Comments about the committee hearing after having the benefit of reading the testimony of what actually transpired in the committee hearing?

I would not be surprised if these Opening Statements are really Forward Thinking.

Would they kid u?

Smartfella

(284)

Lagniappe: Regarding the promise I made in the Subject of this Blog Posting. I must admit I can’t live up to that lofty commitment. I meant well but I have failed and, as they say in Congress, “I sincerely apologize for my shortcomings. That having been said & duly recorded, let’s go to Happy Hour.”

We Have Moved Beyond Good News & Bad News. Now We Have Bad News & Worse News.

The Bad News

A small child asks his Father a question in the not-too-distant future... “I really like this Holiday Season. I especially like all the presents I get on December 25. I really thank you for the Ray Gun you gave me this year. It is going to be a blast to shoot especially since there is now a law that says I can incinerate people with spaces between their front teeth.”

“The Holiday Season is so special! How did the Holiday Season originate?”

The Worse News

The Father says to his Small Child, “I don’t know”.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(151)

Lagniappe: It would be even worse if the Father had said, “I don’t know. I anticipated your asking this question so I Googled it but Google did not know either”.

Is It My Fault That I Have An Uncanny Ability To See The Obvious?

I originally wrote this Blog Posting on January 29, 2010. I have sent it out before as a reminder of how obviously smart I am about the obvious. Now I am doing it again because it is obvious that our 9% Approval Rated Congress is not reading my Foolishness.

I must correct the above sentence. Actually I have it from my sources in Washington, D.C. that many of them are reading my silliness. This makes the future prospects look even worse for the Good Ole USofA. They are reading the Fella’s Foolishness yet they are ignoring the obvious.

I have often said, “If the horse is dead, get off the horse”. If I truly believe that, why am I sending this 2010 piece of wisdom out again? Simply stated I am a Patriot & I keep hoping that one day our 9% Approval Rated Congress will all shout in one voice, “By golly, the Smartfella ain’t stupid!”

Yes, Dear Reader, our duly elected Congress is about to raise the Debt Limit again...

http://forii.blogspot.com/2010/01/what-does-word-limit-mean-to-you.html

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(193)

Who Can Be Opposed To A Caboose?

There is a town next to the town I live in called Suwanee. It is a nice place, well organized & many times has gotten national recognition as a great place to live.

That being said, it appears to me Suwanee is a town that has been Amucked, as in Political Correctness is Running Amuck over there.

This is the time of year when the Lighting of the Christmas Tree used to be on the calendars of communities all over the Good Ole USofA. They did not even have to be Nice Places nor Well Organized nor Recognized to have a Christmas Tree Lighting Ceremony.

This is not the case anymore & not even in Nice Well Organized Recognized Suwanee, GA.

Announcing...

Suwanee’s Jolly Holly-day Celebration

(Formerly the Old Town Holiday Festival & Caboose Lighting)

Yes, Dear Readers, Suwanee is about to light up a Caboose because Who Can Be Opposed To A Caboose? Cabooses are so Correct.

I will never forget the caller to a Radio Talk Show who was objecting to a Manger Scene in front of his City Hall. If you are thinking he was objecting based on Separation of Church & State Grounds you would be wrong in thinking that. He said he was objecting because every time he drove past the Manger Scene he Felt Threatened.

I wonder if there is actually a Christmas Tree over in a dark corner of Suwanee Town Center with a sign on it saying, “Do not look at this relic of the past. If you do look, you might feel threatened”.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(275)

The Dictionary Is A Living & Dying Book

Words come into our English Dictionary all the time...

• Dis... To treat with disrespect. To be rude.
• Humblebrag... An ostensibly modest or self-deprecating statement whose actual purpose is to draw attention to something of which one is proud.
• Amazeballs... Extremely good or impressive; amazing.

Being sly, cunning and alert, the Smartfella has taken note of some words or phrases that are going out of usage. They are still in the dictionary but it won’t be long before they will be stricken...

• Vulgar or Profane... Hardly anything is Vulgar or Profane today.
• Respect... It just does not have much of a place in the today’s Self-Centered Good Ole USofA.
• Politeness... Yes, Sir ... No, Sir ... Yes, Mam ... No, Mam. These all sound sort of silly to too many of us.

That’s progress... Or is it?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(156)

Thinking Of Going Into The Homecare Business? Think Again.

There are more than 3,000 new regulations going into effect January 1, 2015.

Some of you just said that 3,000+ is not that much. Allow me to point out that this is 3,000+ added on to whatever existing regulations there are in effect before January 1, 2015.

I don’t know the total number. Probably no one does. I am comfortable in saying that it is a Whole Bunch of Confusion.

Allow me to narrow this bit of foolishness down to the Homecare Industry.

Below is a link to the January 1, 2015 changes for the Homecare Industry. I must compliment our rulers for giving the ruled more than a year to get ready for these massive changes. This allows us time to get out of the business before January 1, 2015.

You have my permission to skim the link below. Get the feel of it. Then go on to something that is easier to understand like the Mid-East Situation.

Since you are not going to read it all, allow me to paste in one paragraph in order for you to fully understand why you don’t want to be in the Homecare Industry &/or come to the realization that anyone who wants to be in the Homecare Industry ought to have their head examined...

Live-In Domestic Service Employees...

“Live-domestic service workers who reside in the employer’s home permanently or for an extended period of time and are employed by an individual, family, or household are exempt from overtime pay, although they must be paid at least the federal minimum wage for all hours worked. Live-in domestic service workers who are solely or jointly employed by a third-party must be paid at least the federal minimum wage and overtime pay for all hours worked by that third-party employer. Employers of live-in domestic service workers may enter into agreements to exclude certain time from compensable hours worked; such as sleep time, meal time, and other periods of complete freedom from work duties. If the sleep time, meal period, or other periods of free time are interrupted by a call to duty, the interruptions must be counted as hours worked. Under the final rule, employers must maintain accurate records of hours worked by live-in domestic service workers. Employers may require the live-in domestic service employees to record their hours worked and to submit records to employers.”

The Link is below. Remember to skim. I would not want to confuse you and/or depress you...

http://hometrak.com/department-labor-issues-final-regulations-companionship-exemption-effective-january-1-2015/?doing_wp_cron=1417018621.1573030948638916015625

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(493)

Lagniappe: Yes, dear reader, that is a typo at the beginning of the green paragraph above. Can it possibly be that Our Regulatory Rulers made a mistake?

Lagniappe More: On the other hand it is not a mistake if they want to make sure that we understand that, if we have a Dead Domestic Service Worker working for us, this confusing bit of regulation does not apply to him.

Eight Years Ago I Was Already Ahead Of My Time

Probably could not get all of you to agree with me about the happenings in Ferguson, so I will not tell you what I think.

Actually this bit of Foolishness is only peripherally about Ferguson anyway. It is really about those evil Eye Witnesses out there.

There may be one thing that we all could agree on & that is there has been a lot of contradictory testimony given by Eye Witnesses about what their eyes saw...

• Some saw Michael Brown charging head long at Officer Darren Wilson when he was shot.
• Some saw Officer Darren Wilson standing over Michael Brown while he was on the ground & shooting him in his back.

No matter what you believe in this case, we can all agree that is Contradictory Testimony... Or can we?

Remember the Subject of this Blog Posting where I claimed to have been ahead of my time a long time ago (actually August 4, 2006)?

If you are ready for a chuckle or two, click below & you will be impressed with my futuristic blogging abilities... Or will u?

http://forii.blogspot.com/2006/08/we-need-one-eyewittness.html

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(228)

Lagniappe: I sometimes wonder what has happened to Cynthia McKinney since she left Congress. Every time I do I realize that I do not know & it gives me a good feeling that I do not know.

Where Do The People Who Work For The Social Security Administration Come From?

I changed my checking account a few months ago. This account is the account that our Social Security Payments are deposited into each month.
Since this is the first time that anyone in the entire history of the Social Security Administration (SSA) has ever changed their depository checking account, I was in deep trouble because the SSA apparently did not know how to handle such a “complicated” changeover.
Here are some of the things that happened to me because I challenged the SSA to change my Checking Account...

• My most honest estimate is there have been about 20 phone calls to the SSA.
• Calls to the National SSA Office are unbelievably time consuming, the people I talked to did not listen very well to what I had to say, they were often times rude & I did not get my problem resolved.
• Calls to my Country SSA Office did not take nearly as much time, the persons I talked to listened to what I had to say, they were very polite but I did not get my problem resolved till after I had called about 6 times & made 1 in-person visit to their office.
• On 2 calls to the National Office I had to wait an hour listening to the worst sounding music ever written &, at the end of the hour, I was cut off & I had to call back.
• On 2 calls to the National Office I was offered the option to receive a call back. This meant I did not have to hold the phone listening to the worst sounding music ever written but at the end of the hour I was cut off & I had to call back.
• On 9/1 I went into our Online SS Accounts & updated our deposit bank to the correct Routing & Account Numbers. At that time I was trying to get our August SS Deposits which had missed their deposit due dates. I called the National SS Office & told them my situation. I was berated for going in & updating my account information on my own. I was told that, since I had done that, my August deposits were going to be delayed 60 to 90 days to allow for processing.
• I hung up & immediately called back & told a different agent my story & he said I would have my money in my account in 3 days & my deposit was in my account on the third day as promised on 9/4.
• It was not that easy for my wife’s deposit. After several more phone calls, her money was deposited on 10/9.
• The last remaining problem was we did not get our September Deposits on the 9/24 due date. We had already gotten our 10/22 deposits made on schedule. We eventually got our 9/24 deposits on 11/18.
• In the midst of all of the calls trying to get the 9/24 deposits, I was told twice that, since we had gotten our 10/22 checks in October, it was against the law to get our 9/24 deposits in October because that would mean we would have gotten 2 checks in the same month & we cannot get 2 checks in the same month. Stop & think about this logic for a moment.
• The deposit of the 9/24 checks got handled unbelievably fast only after I told my SSA contact that I was in the process of contacting my Congressman.

I could go on but I am certain you are tired of this by now & half of you have decided that I made all of this foolishness up.

------------------------

The story below was copied from the SSA’s own web site. If you wanna check me out, click here: http://www.ssa.gov/history/ssn/misused.html
Social Security Cards Issued by Woolworth
The most misused SSN of all time was (078-05-1120). In 1938, wallet manufacturer the E. H. Ferree company in Lockport, New York decided to promote its product by showing how a Social Security card would fit into its wallets. A sample card, used for display purposes, was inserted in each wallet. Company Vice President and Treasurer Douglas Patterson thought it would be a clever idea to use the actual SSN of his secretary, Mrs. Hilda Schrader Whitcher.
The wallet was sold by Woolworth stores and other department stores all over the country. Even though the card was only half the size of a real card, was printed all in red, and had the word "specimen" written across the face, many purchasers of the wallet adopted the SSN as their own. In the peak year of 1943, 5,755 people were using Hilda's number. SSA acted to eliminate the problem by voiding the number and publicizing that it was incorrect to use it. (Mrs. Whitcher was given a new number.) However, the number continued to be used for many years. In all, over 40,000 people reported this as their SSN. As late as 1977, 12 people were found to still be using the SSN "issued by Woolworth."
Mrs. Whitcher recalled coming back from lunch one day to find her fellow workers teasing her about her new-found fame. They were singing the refrain from a popular song of the day: "Here comes the million-dollar baby from the five and ten cent store."
Although the snafu gave her a measure of fame, it was mostly a nuisance. The FBI even showed up at her door to ask her about the widespread use of her number. In later years she observed: "They started using the number. They thought it was their own. I can't understand how people can be so stupid. I can't understand that."
Remember the subject of this blog? If not, I repeat, “Where Do The People Who Work For The Social Security Administration Come From?”
Based on my dealings with the SSA in the last few months, I have determined what happened to the Mental Midgets who used the Specimen Card as their own... The Social Society Administration Hired Them.
Would I kid u?
Smartfella
(1151)
Lagniappe: If you remember the bullet points above, you will understand my agony. The agony just came back. Three days after our 9/24 checks were deposited on 11/18 we received 2 letters from SSA telling us it looks like they have overpaid us & they are going to take the 2 checks back.
Lagniappe More: They said nothing about sending us to jail because they paid us double but that may come in the next 2 letters.
I sure hope I can continue to Blog from my jail cell & I know you do too... Or do u?

The President & I Know What’s Wrong With The Economy

Yes, the President & I know the problem. Actually it is not just the two of us who are in the know. There is a third person as smart as we are & that person is you.

Did you just say you do not know what you know? If you just open your mind to what your ears are hearing, you would quickly come to the realization that you really know what you don’t know you know.

The manifestation of the problem can be heard daily on your radio. It simply is that radio advertisers are giving away their products for free. No one is making any money!…

• Program about how to Control your Uncontrollable Teenager.
• Pills to make you Lose Weight without having to eat less or to eat differently or do any form of exercise.
• Creams that will Stop Your Itches from itching you.
• Free Investors Kit. When the stock market goes up, you make money. When the stock market goes down, you make money.
• Free Makeup Foundation (whatever that is).
• Credit Reports that are free & some others that are really free.
• Free Web Sites.
• Clean Up Your Computer for free.
• Magical Debt Relief without having to stop spending more money than you have.
• Free book on how to Buy Gold.
• Book on how to make your Erectile Dysfunction function again.
• Stop Low Testosterone for free.

The Problem Is Apparent...Or Is It?

If our economy keeps giving away everything, there will continue to be no generation of income to the economy & our GDP will continue to go deeper into the tank.

The President is doing his best to get a handle on the situation. He keeps going to Hawaii so he can be alone to try & come up with a plan of action to bring this awful situation under control.

We have all seen the news clips on TV of him sitting on the beach for hours. Many times he remains there till the sun goes down with a drink in his hand with a little umbrella it just thinking thinking thinking about this thorny issue.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(379)

Finally Relief Is Coming For Our Fellow Citizens Trapped In The Awful Violence & Mayhem Of Chicago But It’s Going To Cost Us A Lot Of Money… Or is it?

My sources tell me that our Federal Government is launching a plan to physically relocate our fellow Americans trapped in Chicago for their own safety. Before the end of the year the plan will start to come to fruition...

• Whole communities will be created where they can escape their awful living conditions in Chicago to new confines where they can begin to live peacefully.
• Homes will be constructed at taxpayer expense for them to live in safety after their relocation.
• Our government will arrange for their household good to be packed up transported out of their dangerous living conditions in Chicago.
• There was a tremendous expression of gratitude when the Chicagoans came out of hiding after seeing the announcement of the “Escape from Hell Relocation Program” on television.

Some Americans were concerned about where the money to finance this costly project was going to come from but were relieved when they heard that the whole project is being funded by borrowing a lot of money from China.

This means it will cost us almost nothing because money borrowed from China does not have to be repaid. We just have to pay a little bit of interest.

One savvy Talking Head was heard to say on TV, “It’s like free money”.

The “Escape from Hell Relocation Program” will cost the Chicago Refugees absolutely nothing.

In truth their only responsibility will be that they must choose whether they want to go live in Guatemala, El Salvador or Honduras.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(286)

Georgia Has Set Its Foot In The Door & Nobody Told Me

My last blog posting...

“The Rulers Of Colorado Have Determined That Pot Is OK For Coloradans... Or Is It?”

was responded to with this comment...

“Thanks. Is this what we can expect from good olde GA after Jan 1st?”

I am one to keep up with the news but I knew nothing about what SmartRichard was talking about but I looked it up on the Internet &, I’m sorry to say, I now know about it.

Here is the text from the news article I found about what my home state intends to do to itself...

Part 1: “Medical marijuana is one step closer to becoming legal in Georgia, but it's taken a different form from its original version that passed the House 171-4 last week.

The Senate Health and Human Services committee unanimously approved House Bill 885 on Wednesday, which would legalize a form of medical marijuana in Georgia.

But the bill now also requires insurance companies to cover autism treatment for children ages 6 and under.

A few minutes before the vote, the committee's chairwoman said the medical marijuana bill will be combined with the autism bill.”

(The Smartfella hereby interrupts this quote for a comment.)

If I am one thing it is Logical. What did I just hear you scoff at my claiming to be Logical? OK I will modify that contention of mine to more accurately state that I am Logically Silly.

After reading Part 1 above I could logically assume that, in the interest of transparency, my legislature will now call this bill...

“The Medical Marijuana & Care for Kids Bill”

Right?...

Wrong!...

It is now called “The Care for Kids Bill”

How do you like that for transparency?

I ask you, who in their right mind want to go on record as having voted against a bill called, “The Care for Kids Bill”?

Part 2: Our esteemed transparent Chairwomen went on to say, "We also combined the autism bill with it. We're calling it the Care for Kids Act," she told 13WMAZ. "All the people in this legislature care about the children of Georgia."

------------------------

The bill to help Autistic Children in Georgia came to fruition because a 4 year old Georgian Child has a condition where she is subjected to 200 Seizures a Day & it appears someone has determined that Medical Marijuana will help her.

As usual, I have an Alternative Course of Action to propose...

• Send one of our caring legislators to California.
• Have him go into one of their Medical Marijuana Dispensaries.
• Go over to the “Doctor” sitting at that little desk in the corner with the stethoscope around his neck, clutching that bottle of bourbon with a sign over his head reading “Lickety Split Prescriptions”.
• Tell him you have Toe Fungus.
• Get a prescription for a bunch of Medical Marijuana for your Toe Fungus.
• Bring your bunch of Medical Marijuana back to our Suffering Georgian Autistic Child.

There you have it, another logical fix for a perplexing issue from The Fella!

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(584)

Lagniappe: There is a possibility that the legislature is not contending that Medical Marijuana will be used to treat this Autistic Child but they just attached it to a pending Autistic Child Help Bill so they could hide it in the Care for Kids Act. If that is the case, the subterfuge is even worse than I thought.

The Rulers Of Colorado Have Determined That Pot Is OK For Coloradans... Or Is It?

Colorado has legalized pot. It has been big news ever since the State saw the light and decided to mend its ways. Wiser heads than I say there is no turning back the clock on this one because it was the right thing to do.

The Smartfella, however, sees the real reason why the clock will not go back and that reason is money. The Pot Industry is booming and the Pot Entrepreneurs and the State of Colorado are getting rich!

Almost immediately following the State giving the OK to smoke and/or eat pot it started a campaign to discourage Coloradans from smoking and/or eating pot.

Somebody is confused here and it’s not the Fella...

• Colorado has instituted a hard-hitting campaign to emphasize to teenagers that pot could be harmful to them.
• An example of what the campaign looks like is billboards throughout the State that say, “Does Marijuana really cause schizophrenia in teenagers? Smoke it and find out for yourself.”
• Another sign says, "Subjects needed. Must be teenager. Must smoke weed. Must have eight IQ points to spare."
• Another phase of the discouragement program is having human size cages located around the state where they can be seen by potential young pot smokers. The message the cages try to convey is pot smokers are becoming laboratory rats.
• State health officials also say they were concerned by studies showing pot can lead to depression and impairment of cognitive functioning.
• The campaign is being criticized by pro pot smokers and sellers as Scare Tactics. (The Fella believes Scare Tactics are not intrinsically evil. The key factor is, is there anything to be scared about?)

There is a lot in the above bullets that makes one wonder why Colorado would do such a thing. Do you remember my earlier comments about the State getting rich?

It’s like the State saying something like, “The State of Colorado has determined that there are 26 very valid reasons why pot should not be approved for recreational use in Colorado. We have decided to approve pot for recreational use because there are not 27 very valid reasons why we should not approve it.”

The Smartfella has two questions...

• If it is unsafe to use why approve it for use?
• If it is safe to use why spend $5.68 million to discourage its use?

Here is where we come to the full realization of how “smart” the Colorado State Legislature is. Ask yourself this question... Where does the legislature get the $5.68 million to pay for the Anti-Pot Smoking Campaign?

You guessed it... Or did you?...

They're getting the $5.68 million (and a lot more) for the Anti-Pot Smoking Campaign from the revenue generated by their approval of Marijuana for Recreational Use.

If you think you are confused after reading this Foolishness, imagine how confused I am after writing it.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(502)

Can God Tell Time?

There is another Subject Line I could have written for this bit of Foolishness...

Maybe God Won’t Notice. I Understand He Is Pretty Busy.

Actually I did not write the verbiage below. One of you Dear Readers sent this to me. He is sort of like a voice crying in the wilderness. He is crying, “Oh My Gosh! I am beginning to think like the Smartfella. Is that bad? It may be a good thing because he is rather well known in his very small corner of the world”.

For better or for worst, here is what caught the eye of our new contributor, the Smartherr...

“Thought of you this morning as I was reading the AJC, page 2, story about Egypt changing clocks back and forth. The most recent change was to shorten the fasting time for Ramadan which is supposed to be from dawn to dusk”.

Either they really came up with something totally new that affects the rotation of the earth but only for Egypt, or there are hints that they are not about to become a technologically savvy country any time soon.

Maybe I am too harsh. Our Congress is capable of worse.”

Actually the Smartherr has made me feel guilty after his very first posting. Right out of the box he is taking shots at Congress. He is a frequent reader. Did I turn him against Congress?

Maybe I ought to back off a bit. Why it was only a couple of years ago that I was really pleased by an action taken by our 9% Approval Rated Congress. I actually said to myself, “Self, who says Congress is all messed up? That’s a great name for a Post Office!”

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(295)

It’s Time To Recall An Oldie But Still A Goodie

At the end of this posting is the link to a Brilliant Political Observation and a Real Sneaky Plan of Action published by the Fella on October 28, 2012. I bring them to your attention because the questions posed in the “Exit Polling” part have still not been answered (& never will be)...

http://forii.blogspot.com/2012/10/two-prior-postings-because-it-is-silly.html

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(70)

Good News & Bad News

The Good News... Tomorrow the Mid-Term Elections will be over & our crack news media will no longer be talking about Possibilities, Probabilities & Improbabilities of the upcoming Mid-Term Elections.

The Bad News... Tomorrow our crack news media will start talking about the Possibilities, Probabilities and Improbabilities of the upcoming 2016 Presidential Elections.

Oh well, at least they will be just getting started & they won’t be Wide Eyed & Shouting...

“Breaking News!”

“News Alert!”

“This Just In!”

...Or will they?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(92)

Golly Gee! I Certainly Am On Top Of Things!

I just blogged about the Sweet Tax five days ago http://forii.blogspot.com/2014/10/thats-crazyor-is-it.html & now my newspaper tells me that the enemies of sweetness are moving ahead in San Francisco & Berkeley, CA.

These two bastions of intelligence are voting on a Special Tax on Sugary Beverages tomorrow. I am not pecking this foolishness out to redo this last blog (link above). I want to point out to you why this Wave of the Future is going to come crashing down on us eventually.

The reason the Sweet Tax will pass someday is the Intended Use of the Tax Proceeds that its proponents have tagged the measure with...

The tax revenue will be used for School Nutrition, Public Education & Fitness Programs

Who is going to come out & say they are against these three consistent vote getters? Even the Fella is too smart for that but he will give you this warning...

We will be shocked & awed by what that revenue is actually used for.

The truth is we will never be shocked & awed by its use because we will never find out what it is eventually used for but I bet some Special Interest Group like Citizens for the Preservation & Expansion of Kumquat Cultivation are licking their chops as I peck out this warning.

Want proof? Can you say, “Federal Highway Trust Fund” (aka: Gasoline Tax)? We were told these monies would be directed to only pay for Road & Bridge Repairs.

Actually there is a wide range of causes that have received funding from the Gasoline Tax.

Eventually we hear members of Congress lamenting the fact that our Roads & Bridges are in need of repair, our Federal Highway Trust Fund is depleted & we have to raise the Exclusive Gasoline Tax to be used exclusively for Road & Bridge Repair.

How stupid do they think we are?

The simple answer is… Pretty Darn Stupid.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

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There Are Too Many Bases Out There

An alternative Subject for this Foolishness...Or Is It? could have been...

There Are Too Many Lawyers Out There

Because There Are Too Many Lawyers Out There we are required to “Cover All Bases” in everything we do. Allow me to prove my point...

A restaurant wants to offer a coupon to draw customers. The cook and the manager come up with wording for their coupon that reads like this... “This coupon may be used to purchase one (1) Classic Soup, Salad and Breadsticks Lunch Combo for $5.00”.

Because they have been sued before, they run it by their lawyer. The lawyer looks at them with distain and says, “When will the two of you ever learn? You have not Covered All Bases”.

He then proceeds to add on the necessary disclaimers to keep the restaurant from being sued by his brother-in-law and a whole raft of other savvy diners.

The list of disclaimers below was taken from an actual restaurant coupon I had in my possession.

• This coupon may be used to purchase one (1) Classic Soup, Salad and Breadsticks Lunch Combo for $5.00 (excludes children’s menu items, soup, Garden Salad, pizza, tax and gratuity).
• Maximum value of discount offer is $4.30.
• Valid Monday – Friday until 4 p.m.
• Limit one (1) Classic Soup, Salad and Breadsticks Lunch Combo per coupon.
• One coupon per visit, per table.
• Coupon must be surrendered at time of use, and any unused value will not be refunded.
• Coupon may not be redeemed for cash or combined with any other offer.
• Dine in only.
• Cash redemption value 1/20 of one cent.
• Coupon may not be reproduced, sold, transferred or traded.
• Sales tax paid by the bearer.
• Valid at any Mama Mia Gonzales Restaurant location in the U.S. Code: Lunch5.
• Expires 10/17/14.

The only thing I changed in this list was the name of the restaurant.

------------------------

It is a wonder the restaurant lawyer did not put in a few more like...

• Mama Mia is not responsible for soup splashed on any piece of clothing.
• Mama Mia will not be held responsible if any of our patrons dies from Ebola after leaving our restaurant.
• Some forms of our pasta have holes in the middle of them. These holes are the exclusive responsibility of the manufacturers of the pasta. Mama Mia is, therefore, not responsible for anyone consuming this type of pasta in our restaurant who is allergic to holes.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(431)

That’s Crazy...Or Is It?

The first time we hear a Crazy Idea we say to our collective selves, “That’s a Crazy Idea”.

The next time we hear that Crazy Idea we say to our collective selves, “There’s that Crazy Idea again!”

The next time we hear that Crazy Idea discussed it is a bunch of Talking Heads on TV and the Crazy Part is gone and they are talking about a Topical Idea of the Day.

The first time we heard that the former mayor of New York City wanted to shoot anyone who drank a big sugary soda in his city most of us thought he was being silly. Thank heaven the courts got involved and stopped him and his sweet police after only a few people were shot.

In the old days that would have been the end of such an idea but not in today’s Good Ole USofA. Not by a long shot. Now we have...

• Representative Rosa DeLauro of Connecticut recently launched the first national effort in years to tax soda drinks.
• The Connecticut lawmaker is under no illusion about the chances that her Sugar-Sweetened Beverages Tax Act will become law.
• She does not even expect the bill to come to a vote.
• However, she is forging ahead anyway anyway.
• DeLauro said, "We have a serious health problem. It is in part related to the consumption of sugar and added sugars and sugary beverages. Therefore we need to move to do something to avert this crisis."
• DeLauro's legislation would levy a one-cent tax on manufacturers for every teaspoon of sugar in their beverages.
• San Francisco and Berkeley will hold ballot measures to introduce soda taxes in November.

(Why is it that the remedies proposed to real or imagined maladies in our society always involve the levying of higher taxes?)

As is usually the case, the Smartfella has alternative courses of action to propose...

• How about an Absence of Taxes Tax? Imagine the number of children we could help with the revenue that could be generated by taxing everything.
• Sugar now and salt next. Actually a Salt Tax should have been before a sugar tax. We could go a long way to eliminating poverty in the Good Ole USofA by levying a one cent tax for every time one of us shook a salt shaker over our food.
• Stupidity would generate a humongous amount of revenue. We could start with that college student I saw on TV the other day who proposed that we fight the ISIS Terrorists by dropping food on them.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

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Lagniappe: More than one breathless Connecticut Voter has been heard to say, “I’ll follow Rosa DeLauro anywhere”. Looking at her all dressed up below you can easily see why... Or can you?