Am I That Smart?

Recently I read that people purported to be a lot smarter that the Smartfella? came out with some very startling news about evolution.

I say startling because they really seemed to be excited about their “discovery”.

I say “discovery” because that’s what they called it and they are a lot smarter than I am … Or are they?

This is what had them all in a tizzy (whatever that is)…

Monkey Primates of today and the Human Primates of today

evolved on two different evolutionary paths.

These are the times when I really begin to believe that I know what I am talking about. It seems pretty elementary to me…
• Today there are Humans.
• Today there are Monkeys.

Does not that seem like the end of the argument? Should it even be called an “argument”? What is there to argue about? If there were not two separate and distinct evolutionary paths involved in this evolvement, we would have 535 Humkeys making laws for us in Congress. That would be terrible! … Or would it?

Would I kid u?

What’s Up With Names?

Many in our society (but not the Smartfella?) are infatuated with what we name ourselves. A “mature” adult who changes his name to “Bow Wow” (I did not make this one up) bears his own responsibility for being laughed at. The sad part is we are not laughing. We say things like, “Dat’s cool”, “Whatever floats your boat”, “Everyone is entitled to do their own thing”.

What is even worse is modern “mature” adults are naming their newborn offspring using name creation thinking that results in some strange monikers…

• Taking well-known names and misspelling them and coming up with…
  o Regena instead of Regina.
  o Dawnn instead of Dawn.
  o Martellus instead of Marcellus.
  o Billye instead of Billy.
  o Parisa instead of Paris.
• Some geniuses have taken to inserting an Apostrophe in the middle of names and coming up with the likes of, “Nu’Keese”.
• We also have the holdover from ancient times where we try to keep alive Roman Names and come up with such gems as, “DeQuayvious”.
• Many years ago President Reagan put his tongue into his cheek and wrote a commentary about the phenomena developing at the time for hyphenating names by combining the bride and the groom’s names into one name. He noted that if this practice were to go on through just a few generations we might end up with…
  o John Smith-Halloran-Schwamm-Morningside-Lacarelli-Sherman-Bukowski-Krenwinkle-Roget.
  o Can you imagine the difficulty this would present to John Madden if John Hyphenating was a running back for the Chicago Bears?
• I read an article a few years ago that told me that people were naming their children after automobiles. A quote from this article is shown below…
  o “There are kids named after cars: Corvette, Acura, Camry, Celica and Infiniti.”
  

It will be a sure sign that a modern mother-to-be went into labor in Walgreen’s Drug Store if you see “Neutrogena” on her little fellow’s soccer shirt.

Would I kid u?

Second Place Is No Place

We are constantly hearing about milestones that report when the first of anything does anything ... first.

Categories of firsters usually involve ... Gender, Nationality, Gender combined with Nationality, Inventors and, of course, Sports Figures (usually called “heroes”).

As a society we pay no attention to the second of anything that does anything about anything. I am pecking out this foolishness to call your attention to the biggest overlooked second in the history of mankind (now called “personkind”).

We are always giving magnamunious (don’t bother looking that one up) praise to the Person Who Invented the Wheel. I agree this was a tremendous leap forward in human development but what about the Person Who Invented the Second Wheel?

That individual was history’s first Rodney Dangerfield before Rodney Dangerfield was Rodney Dangerfield ... Gets No Respect At All.

Would I kid u?

All Is Well ... The Dow Jones Industrial Average Is Over 10,000 Again!

The Dow will never fall below 10,000 ... Or will it?

Most of the time the Smartfella? says when someone tells him something worth knowing, “I knew that”.

He has never been overheard to say, “That’s news to me”.

However, there is one thing that has always puzzled me. It’s the closing of the New York Stock Exchange each and every day.

If the Stock Market has gone up dramatically that particular day, there is this overhang that looks out at the exchangers who have just finished exchanging and there is a group of people standing in the overhang that are applauding and smiling and smiling and applauding. They look really happy!

On those days when the Stock Market has fallen like a heavy rock, there is another group of people standing on the overhang and they are applauding and smiling and smiling and applauding. They look really happy!

This does not seem to make sense to the Smartfella?. Why are they happy when the Stock Market goes up and are just as happy when the Stock Market goes down? On those horrible down days do they not understand that fortunes have just been lost? Do they not see that lives have just been ruined? Do they not comprehend that in the next several hours a number of recently-used-to-be-rich Americans will be jumping out of tall buildings all over the country?

Maybe that is it! The people applauding on those crash days are the people who rent window space to that day’s jumpers. The used-to-be-rich are desperate to end it all and the Jumpers R Us Industry is always ready to serve. They advertise, “Space is limited. Take a number. Have a donut on us. We promise to move you through as quickly as possible”.

Would I kid u?

The Smartfella? Is Spending Lots of Time in an Ongoing State of Confusion

I used to know and understand the world around me. Now I feel like Sergeant Shultz on Hogan’s Heroes ... “I know nothing!” (I wonder how many out there reading this never heard of Sergeant Shultz and/or Hogan’s Heroes?)

Here is the latest change I don’t understand courtesy of our modern news media...

I used to read things like this in the newspaper:
“What’s Her Name had a child as a result of an adulterous relationship with What’s His Name”.

Now I am reading things like this in the newspaper:
“What’s Her Name produced a child through an encounter with What’s His Name”.

“Adulterous Relationship” I understand but “Encounter” somehow seems different.

To me an encounter is like when you accidently bump into someone on a bus and you say, “Excuse me”. Come to think of it Excuse Me is out also. Now we say, “Get outta my way!”

Oh well, that’s Progress ... Or Is It?

Would I kid u?

Can Your Mind’s Eye See?

This is Sight Foolishness. To enjoy the full impact of this bit of Foolishness you must be able to picture these images in your mind’s eye. If you can’t picture images in your head, do not read any further.

First, the Smartfella? must set the stage…

• I am old fashioned.
• I believe that we show respect for places we go by the way we dress.
• To go to church on Sunday dressed like we just came out of the field after picking cotton or just back from toting that barge and lifting that bale is not proper.

I understand that I have just lost more of my dear readers because some of you are now mad at me for attacking the way you dress for church. Oh well, I accept this because that’s the way it is in the glaring spotlight of public opinion.

Those of you still with me please read on.

Since I am sure that God in heaven shares my dislike for Beach/Garden Wear in his church, here is what I find my mind’s eye picturing as I sit there on Sunday watching my fellow parishioners walk up to communion in blue jeans, shorts and thongs…

• All of a sudden all males wearing blue jeans, shorts and thongs are no longer attired in blue jeans, shorts and thongs but are in white boxer underwear, with the word “Alleluia” printed all over them and wearing very loud wooden Dutch shoes that are 3 sizes too big for their feet.
• Since the Smartfella? does not do risqué and picturing women in their underwear in church would be risqué , I do not have the same picture of the females.
• I picture the females walking up and all of a sudden there are flower pots on top of their heads with one large yellow daisy growing out of the pot and held onto their heads by an elastic strap under their chins and, of course, the very loud wooden Dutch shoes that are 3 sizes too big for their feet.

Ah yes, this just might be the biggest miracle since the Loaves and the Fishes!

What? You say you can’t picture my pictures. I feel sorry for your mind’s eye.

Would I kid u?

Miss Manners & Gentle Reader Wrote Most of This One

The Smartfella? gets concerned about lots of foolish issues but he is unable to understand how this “problem” amounts to anything more than Miscellaneous Trivia…

Question to the newspaper column starring Miss Manners:
So my question is twofold: One, just how wrong have I been, lo these many years, eating all sorts of soups with a round-bowled spoon? I really do vastly prefer these to the big oval spoons. And two, if I can find some round-bowled soup spoons, how tacky would it be for them to not match my new stainless? I am aware that it's quite all right to mix silver patterns, but everyday stainless is hardly so exalted.

Answer from Miss Manners:
Gentle Reader: The good news is that you may mix patterns. The bad news confirms what you already know: that soup eaten from a bowl requires round spoons (although these should not be confused with the smaller round bouillon spoons used to eat bouillon from a two-handled soup cup).
Taking your word for it that round-bowled stainless steel spoons do not exist, Miss Manners recommends exhausting yourself by trying to track down soup plates, rather than bowls, that go with your china or pottery.

Wise Guy Comments from Smartfella?:

Dear Gentle Reader and Miss Manners: The two of you should spend your time getting into some really weighty issues that would be of benefit to all mankind like…
Is permissible to throw my cigar butts into my wife’s flower garden?

Would I kid u?

This Is Going Too Far!

Recently there was a Terrorist Plot uncovered in New York City. At first you might find yourself saying to yourself, “Self, why is the Smartfella? bothering me with this? This happens all the time. Has he not got better things to get foolish about?”

Actually I hope you don’t have the above mentioned attitude. Just because we are doing a good job of stopping them from blowing us up does not mean that we ought to stop paying attention and assume that we will always be unblownup. I could say what I said in the prior sentence but I won’t because that belongs in a Blog called Seriuosness…Or Is It? and the Smartfella? does not do Serious.

Back to the terrorists…It seems that the defense attorneys are claiming Entrapment. The Smartfella? thinks they have a firm basis on which to make that contention. Here is a quote from the news article…
“The defendants’ lawyers demanded on Thursday in federal court that prosecutors turn over evidence. Among those mentioned were checks of up to $25,000, gifts to the men’s families and an open credit line at a fried chicken store.”

The money I see as a nice neat entrapment. Gifts are right up there with money. The Smartfella? accepts these two as fine police work but Fried Chicken?! That is dirty pool, that is dealing from the bottom of the deck and certainly that is hitting below the belt! It appears our law enforcement officials have gone beyond the pale (whatever that means).

I think these guys just might get away with their dastardly deed once they get into our crack Judicial System and receive their fair trial.

Would I kid u?

We Are Going To Have To Crank It Up, Hazel

Once upon a time there was a small businessman who had a small business in his garage. He was a tinker. He tinkered in lots of different areas. He loved his small business, made small money and his wife Hazel brought him a big sandwich every day at lunch time.

During the course of his tinkering, he invented that Orange and White Plastic Roadside Construction Warning Barrel. I am, of course, referring to the Orange and White Barrels that we see along our roadsides wherever there is road construction going on.

Our little businessman enjoyed his work and he enjoyed the pace at which he worked. He made about seven and a half barrels each day. Any day he got his output up to eight barrels he felt extremely satisfied with himself.

One day he was tinkering away on his third barrel when the mailman came with a delivery that was much larger than the usual amount of mail. Once he started opening his mail, he found himself equal parts shocked and delighted. His ship had come in!

What had happened was that the Planet Earth had discovered his Orange and White Plastic Roadside Construction Warning Barrel. When he had finished opening his mail, he realized that he had received orders for 17.75 billion barrels!

As the size of his good fortune was sinking in, his wife came in with his lunch. Without even looking up he said, “Hazel, looks like expenses are going to go up. We have to call your brother back from layoff.”

Would I kid u?

Looking Good Ain’t Good!

Have you looked at the Obituary Page lately? If you have, you most certainly have noticed that the pictures of the dearly departed all look like they are in great shape. There is reason to be concerned about this situation and the Smartfella? is here to advise you accordingly.
If any of the following has happen to you recently, you need to take action…
· Someone told you, “You sure are looking good!”
· A friend says, “My my! Aren’t you looking chipper today!”
· You go through the guard shack of a fancy gated community to play tennis where you have to show your driver’s license and when the guard returns your license he says, “You have lost weight since your driver’s license picture was taken. Good job!”
If any of the above is happening to you, you are in eminent danger of finding your good looking self on the Obituary Page. I urge you to do something before it is too late…
· Get a friend who really cares for you to punch you in an eye or your nose hard enough to make things swell, turn black and blue and/or bleed.
· Start wearing a patch over one eye.
· Start frowning a lot.
· Spring for some plastic surgery and get several really ugly scars installed on your good looking face.
· Get a tattoo or two.
The third bullet above (about the drivers license) has me completely unnerved because it actually happened to me last Wednesday. I have been having trouble sleeping ever since.
Would I kid u?

I Am Interesting and Special … Or Am I?

We must have a whole bunch of people in our government who’s job it is to change what we call things. Just when we think we know what’s going on, the People Who Change Things go and Change Things.

What am I talking about? I guess it is best to give some familiar examples…
>We used to have a Secretary of War but now we have a Secretary of Defense.
>We used to have Congressmen but now we have Congresspersons.
>We used to have Jungles but now we have Rain Forests.
>We used to have City Dumps but now we have Transfer Stations.
>We used to have bombs that were called Bunker Busters but now we have Peacekeeper Missiles.

The Smartfella? and his wife are into watching TV Detective Shows. I have picked up on a change that must have come from the People Who Change Things which, at first, had me confused but since I am sly, cunning and alert I did figure it out but not without some difficulty.

If someone had referred to the Smartfella? as a “Person of Interest” this is the kind of thing that would have run through my mind…
>I most certainly am a Person of Interest because I am witty, as is evident by my ability to create these highly entertaining bits of Foolishness.
>Of course I am a Person of Interest because I waste a lot of time coming up with these worthless bits of Foolishness.
>I definitely am a Person of Interest because you people who read my mind wanderings spend a lot of time laughing at and/or trying to figure out what the heck I am talking about.

I have finally figured out that a Person of Interest is a person who is suspected of committing a crime. They used to be called Suspects but now they are Interesting People.

What’s next? Since there appears to be a desperate movement afoot to not call anything anything Male or Masculine or He-man, are we on the cusp of having the People Who Change Things redo the title of the person who delivers our mail from a Mail Man to a Person Person?

Would I kid u?

I Made A Good Shot One Time & You Can Bet I Did Not Cry About It

The Smartfella? is a tennis player, of sorts. That being said, it is not strange that I watch the big tennis matches on television, to some degree. Here is the degree to which I watch the big matches…
>I watch every Andy Roddick match.
>Once Roddick loses, I do not watch any more matches, until the finals.
>Even in the finals, I only watch the end of the matches (unless it is shorter than I expect and then I miss the whole thing).

Here is the Smartfella‘s? Fondest Tennis Wish…
>I wish that when the final ball has bounced its final bounce, the winner, male or female (especially male), would not fall on the ground and start crying.
>It has been a long time since I have seen the triumphant champion simply smile, wave and jog up to the net and shake hands with the vanquished opponent.

I can guarantee each and every one of you faithful readers that, when I win a Grand Slam Tennis Tournament, you will not see me on the ground crying, rolling around and getting up to blow kisses to my worshiping, adoring and weeping fans.

Would I kid u?
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Footnote: More Foolishness can be found at… http://www.northfulton.com/1bloglistingsbody.lasso?-token.blogref=6920.112113
AND/OR
http://forii.blogtownhall.com/

If Hugo Is Not Responsible for the Yugo Automobile, He Is An OK Guy ... Or Is He?

On September 8, 2009 the Atlanta Journal Constitution carried the following information on page A3 in the column entitled, World In Brief.

Chavez, director hit Venice Film Festival…"Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez received a movie star welcome Monday at the Venice Film Festival, where he walked the red carpet with director Oliver Stone for the premiere of the documentary "South of the Border." Stone says "South of the Border" is meant to illustrate "the sweeping changes" in South America in recent years as a direct counterpoint to what he sees as Chavez’s depiction as a dictator by U.S. and European media."

The Smartfella? reads the above news brief to say that Oliver Stone believes that Chavez is getting a bad rap by the media calling him a dictator. In other words, Stone is saying he is not a dictator.

Immediately below the above news brief is another news brief which is entitled …
Media: Venezuela shutting them down. This article contains the following quote; "Opponents accuse Chavez of cracking down on dissent by silencing the media, noting the government closed 32 radio stations and two small television stations last month."

Hugo sounds pretty dictatorial to the Smartfella?.

Would I kid u?

If Everyone Were A Hero, Would We Have Any Heroes?

A dictionary definition of the word “hero” is: “A person noted for feats of courage or nobility of purpose, especially one who has risked or sacrificed his or her life”.

Who is the Smartfella? to quibble with the dictionary? He does not, in fact, question this definition but he does have a problem with the way some persons out there use the word. He has been known to get very quibblie (how is that for inventing a word?) when he hears an athlete referred to as a “hero”. He admits he gets excited when an athlete throws a football through a hoop and hits, as they say, “nothing but net”. What he fails to see is the “courage or nobility of purpose” in performing such a feat.

Recently the Smartfella? was reading an opinion by a fellow unimportant person and he saw these words used and it caught his eye and his eye said, “Huh?”… “Political Hero”.

Just what is a “Political Hero”? The foolishness juices have began to flow and here is what is oozing out…
§ Is a “Political Hero” one who created such an well-oiled Misappropriation Machine that his staff can continue to misappropriate at a high rate of efficiency even while the “Political Hero” is off for two weeks on a fact-finding boondoggle to Paris?
§ Is a “Political Hero” one who has missed more votes on more critical issues than any of his fellow distinguished colleagues?
§ Is a “Political Hero” one who has never been late for, much less missed, a single happy hour in his entire career as a public servant?

The Smartfella? likes to think that Washington, Lincoln and Churchill would have been insulted to be called “Political Heroes”. Referring to people of their ilk (he still loves that word) as not wanting to be remembered as “Political Heroes” is one time that the Smartfella? is thinking that he is thinking pretty good.

"Senator, I served with political heroes, I knew political heroes, political heroes were friends of mine. Senator, you are a political hero."

Would I kid u?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Footnote: More Foolishness can be found at: http://www.northfulton.com/1bloglistingsbody.lasso?-token.blogref=6920.112113 AND/OR http://forii.blogtownhall.com/

Let It Go To Voice Mail

When the Smartfella? was still in the working world, he became aware of a modern day phenomena whereby the people who were working around me had developed a habit of sitting at their desks and letting the phones on their desks ring until the voice mail system picked up.

They did not think that there was anything wrong with this technique. When it first started happening, I said something about their ringing phone, they would sometimes look annoyed and tell me something like, “I’m busy”.

I quickly realized that I was “old school” and I backed off. The thing I had difficulty getting my mind around was that they did not look busy. That is, unless you are willing to accept playing solitaire as a part of your definition of “busy”.

Now that I have been in retirement all these years it seems that there is less and less opportunity to talk to humans out there. Actually it has gotten worse than simply, “Let it go to voice mail”. Allow me to give you a recent example…
§ Called and got into a voice mail message that told me the person who’s recording I was listening to was out until the following Monday.
§ His slick message told me to call another person who would help me and he even gave me the other person’s number.
§ I called the other person.
§ She was out of the office till Tuesday and her message told me to call the person whose message had told me to call her.

Now am I just being an old geezer about this or is there a real problem out there?

Would I kid u?

When Pigs Fly … or … Da Swine Flu

Recently the people who raise pigs successfully brought tremendous pressure to bear on the people in our government who are in charge of naming what we call things (otherwise called the US Department of Names).

The pig growers were very persuasive and made the following points…
§ The Swine Flu was hurting their businesses.
§ There were definite signs out there that the eating public was becoming afraid of eating pig meat.
§ The American public, being sly, cunning and alert, were fast coming to the conclusion that the Swine Flu could be gotten from eating swine.

It made no difference that the Swine Flu cannot be gotten from eating swine. The contrary is actually the case. The AP ran an article on August 31, 2009 which reported that the people who run County Fairs around the good ole USofA are having to take preventive measures because there is growing evidence that swine are in danger of getting the Swine Flu from being in contact with people with the Swine Flu.

The American Public, as always, does not want to confused by the facts. They want action! They want someone to do something about something or other.

The people who are in charge of naming what we call things decreed that the Swine Flu was dead and in quick order invented the H1N1 Flu.

What a stroke of genius! Who could be worried about eating an H1N1? Now we can all go eat a ham sandwich in complete confidence that we ain’t gonna be attacked by anything flulike.

Considering all of the above, the Smartfella? did think it was funny yesterday when he heard a intrepid member of our News Media say the following, “It looks like the H1N1 Flu, otherwise known as the Swine Flu, has the potential of becoming a major pandemic this fall”.

It appears this Talking Head did not get the Don't-Call-It-Da-Swine-Flu memo.

Would I kid u?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Footnote:
More Foolishness can be found at:
http://www.northfulton.com/1bloglistingsbody.lasso?-token.blogref=6920.112113
AND/OR
http://forii.blogtownhall.com/

It's Nice To Be Nice

I've always thought that banks were really nice to set up Overdraft Protection for their customers. What a kind gesture on their part to go to such lengths to try and save their customers the embarrassment of having a check bounce!

In reading the Internet today I find out that the banks are not only nice but they are making a few extra coins while they are being so nice...
"The Financial Times recently reported that U.S. banks are set to earn $38.5 billion this year from overdraft fees alone, more than double the number from 1994."

I don't wanna tell you what to do but, if you are the person from whom they acquired their $38.5 billion, I think you ought to make a consciencious effect to rectify your spending and paying habits.

Would I kid u?

How Much Waste Is Not Much Waste?

According to the New York Times on August 23, 2009, our Energy Department needs to pay attention to its own internal energy practices…
“WASHINGTON – The Energy Department strives to be a leader in championing energy efficiency. Its Web site lists energy-saving tips, while Secretary Steven Chu calls conservation one of the department’s most important goals.
But at many of the agency’s buildings, even at national laboratories where talented scientists seek technological breakthroughs to save energy, the department has failed to use one of the simplest, most effective tools available to any ordinary household – thermostats that automatically dial back the temperature when nobody is around.
A recent audit found that the Energy Department could save more than $11.5 million in energy costs by properly employing these “setback” controls to adjust the heat and conditioning at night or on weekends.
The inspector general reviewed 55 buildings at four department sites for the audit, finding that the Agency had either not used or not suitably maintained setbacks at 35 of those buildings.”
----------------------------------------------------------
The Smart fella? Is not an expert on Energy or on Europe but he has been to Europe and seen how they use energy. In some ways they are smarter than we are. I’ll give you a couple of examples below...
Ø When you drive into many parking garages, and if those garages are unoccupied by a moving object, all the lights are out. As soon as the nose of your car enters, all the lights come on.
Ø When you get out of an elevator in many hotels and apartment buildings, you see that the lights are out. In some cases there is a switch right next to the elevator with which you turn on the lights. In other cases, there is a motion detector that turns them on for you.
Try and imagine how much energy could be saved if only these two examples were employed in every hotel, apartment building and garage in the good ole USofA.
----------------------------------------------------------
I am aware that there are objections to anything and everything and I fully expect that some member of Congress would stand up and make comments like these below about the measly $11.5 million saving potential that the Energy Department could garner by going to Setback Thermometers…
Ø I fail to see why the honorable gentleman is so concerned about saving a mere $11.5 million.
Ø Why 11 ain’t much and .5 is even less.
Ø Does my friend realize how many times $11.5 million could be divided into $1 billion?
Ø I respectively submit that until my colleague can come up with a $1 billion saving, he should not take up this august body’s time with such minor considerations.
Ø I see where I have 20 seconds left in my allotted time and I would like to add that I fail to understand what’s wrong with having only 20 of 55 Energy Department buildings properly using Setback Thermometers (whatever that is). By golly, 20 out of 55 is .364 and in baseball that is good enough to win the batting title in any given year!
Ø Let’s go to Happy Hour!
Great Spirits Often Encounter Violent Opposition from Mediocre Minds
Would I kid u?

While We Were Arguing...

Roosevelt The First (President Theodore) was determined to build the Panama Canal. He was getting a lot of resistance from Congress (things never change). The following is not a quote but it is close, so I will use single quotes ... 'It seems that Congress does not want to build the canal. They only want to argue about building the canal for fifty years. I'm going to build the canal and let them argue about me for fifty years.'

The same can be said about our current situation with the Health Care "Crisis"...

• We hear about how much it is gonna cost.
• We hear what it's gonna cost is too much cost.
• We hear that it is not gonna be that bad because "they" have found a way to save money that is currently being frittered away in waste, fraud and abuse in our current system.
• Various numbers have been thrown around (Congress is very good about throwing numbers around) ... $313 Billion or a Trillion or so (give or take a few Billions or so) ... "a significant sum" ... etc.

Here is what the Smartfella? thinks ... If we have found how to save all this money, why to we have to wait to pass Health Care Reform to save all this money? Why can't we start saving all this money right now and argue about Health Care Reform for the next fifty years or so?

If Theodore were alive, he would be turning over in his grave.

Would I kid u?

New Dynamic Duo

A new dynamic duo was created recently. Being the keen political observer that I am, I became aware of this happening instantaneously. Those of you reading this foolishness are not as keen as I am keen and surely missed it. That's why I am blogging you. I want you to be keener.

In the AJC 3/13/08, Eliot Spitzer mapped out his future..."In an appearance that lasted 140 seconds, the governor —- with his wife, Silda, at his side —- offered an apology to his family and to the public and said he would devote himself to serving "the common good.""

Here is where the keen comes in. This obviously means he is joining O. J. Simpson in his stalled, but never-ending, search for The Real Killers.

An arrest is expected any day now.

Would I kid u?