I am tired of watching a player getting brushed by
an opposing player on his collarbone and seeing the brushed player fall to the
floor holding his eye as if he is trying desperately to keep his eyeball from
coming out of its eye socket. 
That’s bad enough but it gets even worse when
the referee sees what had occurred and he falls for the player falling to the
floor in imitation pain and he blows his whistle while thinking to
himself, “Oh my gosh! At first it looked to me as if the brushed player
has received an Insignificant Collarbone Brush That Actually Did Not Make
Contact With His Collarbone, but I must be wrong, because he fell to the ground
in Significant Imitation Agony so this must certainly have been a serious hit because
he is screaming that he has been seriously hit.”
************
Every time I turn around (and sometimes when I don’t
turn around) I hear the announcers saying, “It looks like they (the
referees) are going to take a look at this one”.
Some of us think games are too long (I certainly do), and
this is the major reason why they are too long...
Ø The games are repeatedly
stopped to, “take a look at this one”.
Ø the referees go to the
Official Official’s Table on the sidelines to, “take a look at this one”.
Ø A TV Monitor is turned
around so they can, “take a look at this one”.
Ø All 3 of the referees’ stare
at the monitor for a long time because they are looking at whatever they are
looking at from 27 different angles.
Ø Fans go to sleep,
announcers go to the rest room, fans at home start shouting at their TVs and
monks in abbeys start praying for football season to start.
Ø The players who were on a
hot streak cool off.
Ø The players who were
getting the puntuck (I made that up) kicked out of them recover and they go on
a hot streak if ever the game starts again because the players who were on a
hot streak have cooled off.
************
The most Stupid of Stupid’s is when we hear the
announcer saying, “He thinks he was fouled!?”
Fella says, “He thinks he was
fouled?! Huh? They think they are fouled whenever an opposing player gets
within 2 feet of them.”
If all the players were given whistles and allowed
to call fouls when they thought they were fouled, the games would last days
instead of hours because the clock would never run for more than 5 seconds
before a player would blow his whistle and play would stop so the referees could
go to the Official Official’s Table to, “take a look at this one”.
Michael Jordan would never have been the great
player he was because he always played with his tongue sticking out of his
mouth when he was about to make another one of his jaw-dropping miracle shots.
It would have thrown His Greatness off his game if he had a whistle in his
mouth and he had to keep his tongue in his mouth behind his whistle. It would
have put a hitch in his get along and he would have ended up being called “His
Average” instead of “His Greatness”.
Would I kid u?
Smartfella
Lagniappe: I am going to start this Blog Posting over from
the very beginning and this time I will not get carried away and exaggerate…Or am I going
to?
