Wednesday, November 20, 2024

Of Course, the Answer Is Definitely Yes! ... Or is it Definitely No?

Fella is of the opinion that the Complete Opposite of any subject can be found on the Internet. I could spend the next week researching 40 or 50 different subjects and thereby prove to each and every one of you that I know of which I speak but I won’t do that because I don’t want to do that.

Instead, I researched one single subject and then extrapolated that into a shaky proof positive of the 40 or 50 different subjects that I did not research.

Did you just say to yourself, “That ain’t right!”

Well, I am going to counter that perfectly logical position with a perfectly indefensible counter-position.

I got my inspiration for this bit of Foolishness from a Blog Posting I did years ago about Domestic Cats. In that case the “facts” “proved” that Domestic Cats kill Over 2 Billion Creatures (bugs, squirrels, rats, mice, birds, chipmunks & etcetera’s) a year.

How did they come up with this Over 2 Billion Creatures Number? It was easy. They had a Bureaucrat With A Pencil and A Clipboard follow One Domestic Cat around for One Day ticking off the cat’s kills. Then, at the end of that cat’s night out, they multiplied its total kills by the number of domestic cats (a wild-ass guess) times the number of days in a year (probably used a leap year) and came up Over 2 Billion Kills.

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Ok, here is my One Single Flaky Extrapolation...

Is Bacon Healthy?

Some Say, Hell No!

This Was Found On The Internet...

Based on the search results, here is a summary of the information:

Bacon Has Bad Stuff In It!

Bacon is a processed meat that has been linked to an increased risk of colon and stomach cancer due to the presence of chemical preservatives and nitrates. The World Health Organization has classified bacon as a Group 1 Carcinogen, meaning it is known to cause cancer.

Bacon is high in saturated fat and sodium, which can contribute to adverse health issues such as high blood pressure, atherosclerosis, high cholesterol, and heart disease.

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Some Say, Hell Yes!

This Was Found On The Internet...

Based on the search results, here is a summary of the information:

Bacon Contains Brain-Friendly Fatty Acid

Bacon contains choline, a nutrient essential for maintaining healthy brain function and memory. Choline is converted into acetylcholine in the brain, a neurotransmitter that plays a crucial role in memory formation, attention, and cognitive processing.

Other Potential Benefits

Additionally, bacon’s B vitamins, amino acids, and other nutrients may contribute to improved energy levels and mood regulation.

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There it is! How can anyone argue with either side’s set of “facts”?

What’s that you said? Are you arguing? I can’t believe you are arguing!

OK, I’ll stop you in mid-argue...

You know each competing side of this argument is true because I found it on the Internet and you know the Internet is always true even when it is contradicted by the Internet.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Sunday, November 03, 2024

11 Things Humans Do That Dogs Dislike

Please tell me that you have something better to do than read the Stupid Article below that demanded I write this Blog Posting!

 

Fella has been known to ask this kind of question:

A dog doesn’t know what a dog thinks so how do they (the people who wrote this Stupid Article) know what a dog thinks?

 

OK, read this little bit of the Stupid Article to prove to yourself that you need not read all of the Stupid Article…

“Dogs are our loyal companions, but sometimes our actions can confuse or upset them. Here’s a friendly guide to understanding the things we do that can annoy our furry friends. Each point highlights a characteristic that dogs don’t appreciate, and how we can change our behavior to make them happier.”

 

“Don’t Appreciate”? ... Did the article really say, “Dogs Don’t Appreciate”? Can dogs really appreciate? Next thing we will be told We Have Offended Fido

 

“Change Our Behavior”? Charlie Brown is visiting with me today and he has this to say...

In my ongoing attempt to have you not read this Stupid Article I will now list for you the 11 things in the Stupid Article that Fido does not like (in Bullet Point Format) ...

  • Using Words More Than Body Language
  • Hugging Your Dog
  • Petting a Dog's Face or Patting Her Head
  • Walking Up to a Strange Dog While Looking Her in the Eye
  • Not Providing Structure and Rules
  • Forcing Your Dog to Interact With Dogs or People She Clearly Doesn't Like
  • Going for Walks Without Giving an Opportunity to Explore and Smell
  • Keeping a Tight Leash, Literally
  • Being Tense
  • Being Boring
  • Teasing

If you insist that you are going to read the Stupid Article, here is the link to the Stupid Article...

https://www.treehugger.com/things-humans-do-that-dogs-hate-4864319

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There is a slippery slope here. Next thing we will be in court being sued by Fido. The next thing after the first next thing we will be surrounded by disapproving family members saying to us, “How could you! You have hurt Fido’s feelings!”

 

When Fido starts biting your feeding hand, we will know for sure that all is lost!

 

Would I kid u? 

Smartfella 

Lagniappe: Stop and think about these 11 terrible anti-dog things we are warned not to do. Are you done thinking? If we took these 11 Doggie Dictates seriously, we would spend our day catering to the Fidos of our world. We would have to quit our jobs because, as sure as shooting, #12 Doggie Dictate is Don’t Ever Leave Your Dog Alone. Yes, we will have to stay home and hold his paw as tightly as is necessary to assure him that you appreciate all he has done for you. Never forget, Being a Best Friend Is Hard Work!