I Can Shorten His Search

 

A young Eager-To-Succeed New Federal Employee is hired and told he has one job and that is to know where Hunter Biden is at all times. At first his job is a piece of cake but out of the blue one day he finds he is in deep trouble because Hunter has disappeared and he fears his Cushy Federal Career is at an end!

Fella is not here to say Eager-To-Succeed could come to me and I will always be able to tell him where Hunter is but I can assure you (and him) that I can narrow down his search for him. I will always be able to give him a for certain where Hunter is not and then he only has to look everyplace else which means he can find Hunter more quickly than he could have if I had not narrowed his field of search for him.

************

Oops! Did I forget to tell you where Hunter is not? Forgive me...

With absolute certainty I could always assure you (and him) that Hunter Is Not In Jail but there is a good chance Jail Is exactly where I will be going if my local Library can carry through with its recent threats directed at me.

************

As you may remember we recently moved. Since the move we have been to our Local Public Library several times, we have borrowed and returned a few books. Our library, however, says we did not return one of the books we borrowed and it has sent me a carefully worded threat that has me very nervous about the possibility that I may be heading for Jail...

...If such person shall thereafter willfully and knowingly fail to return such article within 15 days, such person shall be guilty of a misdemeanor and, upon conviction thereof, shall be punished by a fine of not more than $500 or imprisonment for not more than 30 days.”

(Fella did the underlining)

************

Do you see why I’m feeling less than loved and warmly welcomed in my new county of residence?

I bet Hunter never received such a nasty letter as this nasty letter is nasty.

If, after I unpack my 30 overnight bags and look in the next cell and see Hunter in there, I promise I will text Young Eager-To-Succeed New Federal Employee and tell him that he should come look in the cell next to mine.

However, I do not think I will ever send such a text message because there ain’t no way Hunter is gonna be in any jail cell anywhere in the Good Ole USofA even if he were to check out and not return a half dozen books from my Local Public Library.

Hunter is not afraid of my Local Public Library but I sure am.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: Here is what I did. I threw in the towel. I called my library and begged to be allowed to pay for the lost book (which I really think I have already returned). I did this because I knew that my Local Public Library had many lawyers at its disposal and I do not even have a brother-in-law who used to be a lawyer. I paid $28.99 for that book I probably already returned.

Lagniappe Part 2: Now I am sitting here perplexed and trying to understand how a measly $28.99 could be equated to a $500 fine or 30 days in a jail cell that is not even next to Hunter Biden’s Jail Cell.

(Fella did the underlining)

 

Christmas May Not Be Losing Steam After All

 

Tokyo December 22, 2023

Merry Christmas!!!

🎅🎄🤶

FellaO

Lagniappe: According to the Government of Japan, 69.0% of the population practices Shintō, 66.7% practice Buddhism, 1.5% practice Christianity and 6.2% practice other religions as of 2018.

(Can anyone explain why this adds to 143.4%?)

 

I Did This One on April 16, 2017 But You Forgot I Did So I'm Doing It Again Cuz It's A Good One

I'm about to go on another Steve Allen Tirade. Get ready cuz it's gonna be worth the time you take to read what I have to say about a true comic genius (and song writer and musician and author).

Hang on. It's going to be worth the long read that I'm going to send in the next few days (and I promise you it will be a long read) but for now here is a Steve Allen Short Read that's very interesting...

INTRODUCTION

(Steve Allen’s Book ‘HiHo Steverino’)

A public figure undertaking to write his autobiography faces at least one problem: so much is already known of him that his story can scarcely hope to surprise the reader at every turn of the narrative. The novelist is under no such handicap. Unhindered by facts, he need be guided only by his imagination, which has unlimited freedom. The autobiographer on the other hand, if he has a conscience, must conform to the details of his history, particularly those which are a matter of public record.

I choose to start, therefore, by referring to several elements of my personal history which have been reported by the media. Let me briefly set them down:

Ø I was born in Chicago.

Ø I am Jewish. My first wife was Jewish.

Ø I am the third richest man in the entertainment field, after Bob Hope and the late Bing Crosby, with a personal fortune of over 200 million dollars.

Ø I play the piano only in the key of G.

Ø I write every word of my own comedy material.

Ø I am generally procommunist, despite which I at one time recommended bombing China's nuclear facilities.

Ø I am a pacifist.

Ø I am also a Unitarian.

Ø I take drugs.

Ø I plan to run for political office.

Ø I am the composer of such successful songs as "Misty," "Teach Me Tonight," and "Quando Caliente El Sol."

Ø I am a gifted clarinetist, as proven by my performance in the motion picture The Benny Goodman Story.

Ø I replaced comedian Jerry Lester on the Tonight show.

Ø Though generally affable, I am a man of occasionally violent temper, and in one instance broke the plate glass door of the William Morris Agency building in Beverly Hills, after having been refused admittance late at night by a security guard.

Anyone about whom the above specifics are true must be a fascinating fellow, indeed. Unfortunately, I am not nearly so interesting. There is no truth at all to any of the statements listed above, though each has appeared in the public record.

------------------------

May 2017...Today the news is full of stories about Fake News. It looks like Fake News has been with us since at least May 1992 because that’s when Hi Ho Steverino was first published

Quick! Turn On The Faucet!

 

An effective fighting force is not achieved by turning on a faucet. They happen because of years of training, years of hard work and dedication by those doing the training and those that are being trained.

During COVID-19 lots of silly things were done and among the silliest was the decision made to kick out of our Armed Forces large numbers of well-trained members of our Army, Navy, Marines, Air Force and Coast Guard because they refused to be Vaccinated with the Covid Vaccination.

************

Now, years later, the chickens have come home to roost and the safety and security of our country is in jeopardy.

Amid a historic military recruiting crisis, unvaccinated soldiers who were kicked out of the U.S. Army are now being invited back.

Somewhere in the Pentagon this recently happened...

Ø Oh, chit! Get ‘em back! Quick! Turn on the faucet!

Ø But, General Silly, it does not work that way! It’s gonna take awhile!

In a recent letter to “former service member[s],” Brigadier General Hope C. Rampy informed recipients that “former soldiers who were involuntarily separated for refusal to receive the COVID-19 vaccination may request a correction of their military records.”

The COVID-19 Vaccination Mandate was officially repealed early this year in line with a provision in the defense package passed in December 2022. Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin first mandated COVID-19 Vaccination on Aug. 24, 2021, just weeks after announcing his intention to do so through an Aug. 9 memo.

************

I know that My Dear Readers are clear thinkers because they read my Foolishness. Being clear thinkers each of you know how important and expensive it is to develop and maintain a force of Highly Trained Combatants. Once our money and resources have achieved the high level of combat readiness that is necessary to defend our country it is something that must be protected because, if lost, it is hard to achieve again.

Back in 2021 some of our military leaders lost sight of the good sense described in the above paragraph and put into place a Vaccination Mandate that kicked out more than 8,000 troops from the various military branches because they were not COVID-19 Vaccinated.

Here is a Fella Explanation of why this Kick ‘Em Out Mandate makes perfect sense...Or does it?

Ø A member of our Armed Forces who refused to take the COVID-19 Virus Shot would be at high risk of getting the Coronavirus.

Ø If this were to happen that Stubborn Highly Trained Armed Forces Guy could become a Highly Trained Armed Forces COVID-19 Virus Carrying Guy.

Ø If that Stubborn Highly Trained Armed Forces COVID-19 Virus Carrying Guy was deployed into a combat zone and if he were to become engaged with an enemy combatant in hand to hand combat it is possible he could give the virus to that Unsuspecting Enemy Combatant Guy and that would not be nice!

Aren’t you glad you read this Blog Posting? If everyone in the world also read this Blog Posting, everyone in the world would be as well informed as you are and that would be nice.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella