The CaronaWorldWeLiveInVirus Is In Control! ... Part 2

More from My Park…

Children’s Playground

We are all in mortal danger!

As you know from my earlier Blog Posting the Playground at my park has been closed and Police Tape had been attached to trees along its perimeter to let all of us know that entering was forbidden.

Since then the Banned Children have been coming up to their Forbidden Playground and staring longingly at where they used to have fun. I have seen many a tear shed during these staring sessions.

Yesterday as I was walking past the Empty Playground a Forbidden Child went up to the Banned Playground so he could stare and be unhappy and he saw that the Safety Tape was no longer making the Playground Safe because it had fallen down to the ground.

I was shocked as the little fellow turned and ran towards his Mother screaming, “Get back! We are in danger! The Police Tape fell down and the germs are getting out!”

Yes, I made up the Terrified Child and his Terrified Terror and what he said to his Mother…Or did I?

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Pavilion

The Park Pavilion has been made safe for all of us by putting up Police Tape and then they removed the 10 to 12 Picnic Tables where we used to sit and spew germs at each other. 

Now if you go inside the Police Tape you are subject to Arrest, Imprisonment (up to 60 days) and a Fine (up to $1,000).

It must’ve been a real chore to move all those picnic benches. They were all one piece with the table and the seats on each side connected and they were extra long and very heavy.

I think they could’ve probably gotten the same result by smearing Jell-O all over the tables and benches and leaving them in place.

I apologize. The Jell-O came out of my Self-Isolated Bored Mind. I admit it is not practical…Or is it not?

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This picture below is an add on that has nothing to do with my Keep-My-Heart-From-Attacking-Me Park. I did it because I was concerned that you might not have gotten your money’s worth out of this Blog Posting…

I Know Of What I Speak. As You Read This Blog Posting Remember My Credentials. I Was Employed In The Automotive Industry For More Than 30 Years, And During That Time, I Rose to The Height Of A Mediocre Career.

Automotive Commercials often show their cars driving through the downtown business districts of large cities while the streets are devoid of other cars.

You have probably never thought much about this happening but I notice it every time I watch an Automotive Commercial because I am a Highly Trained Mediocre Automotive Retiree.

The Coronavirus is going to make the filming of Automotive Commercials Easier and Less Expensive…

Ø To film a Commercial the Automotive Companies have found it necessary to pay for extended periods of time to have the entire Commercial Film Crew waiting on side streets for the main streets to be empty of cars.

Ø Usually they have to stay there waiting for weeks before the Main Street becomes empty and, when it does, they have to run out of the side street and set up all their equipment and film the commercial before cars start appearing again.

Ø More often than not, they get up to the very end of the commercial only to see the whole thing ruined by a vehicle that drove into the middle of all of what they were doing.

Ø One time I saw a bunch of clowns appear. They were the beginning of the Barnum and Bailey Circus Parade.

In life we should appreciate the positive things that come our way while they are coming our way. Appreciate this…

Now all of this Time, Money and Effort will not be wasted because the Coronavirus has made all of the Downtown Streets in the Good Ole USofA empty and available for the filming of Automotive Commercials.

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Several years ago there was a technique used in Automotive Commercials that really confused me. The cars were shown Sliding Sideways on Ice Covered Lakes. I never understood why a person would be tempted to get rid of their perfectly good car that was very practiced at driving straight down a road and replace it with a car that Slid Sideways on a Frozen Lake.

This lack of understanding of the ever evolving Automotive Industry was probably why the Automotive Gods whispered into my confused ears, “Fella, maybe you ought to retire”.

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Another interesting thing (probably only interesting to Fella) about Automotive Commercials is the fact that many of them are now being filmed with the Cars Being Driven on Bridges.

Have you noticed that, for about the last year or so, many Automotive Commercials are being filmed with the cars driving on bridges? If you have not noticed, you will now start noticing because I have just brought it to your attention.

However, there is a Coronavirus Problem obstructing the filming of Automotive Commercials on Bridges. Many of our bridges coming out of our Big Cities are too crowded to allow for Automotive Commercial Filming. This is especially true of the bridges leading out of New York City.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

The CaronaWorldWeLiveInVirus Is In Control!

My son is closing on a new Town House in a few days.

He Sent Our Family His Closing Procedure

"Our closing is still on. We are going to do a ‘drive through closing’. We get the sanitized documents in a bag, we are to bring gloves if we have them, and our own pens. They’ll pass the documents into our car, we sign and pass them back out the window."

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My daughter lives in Dallas and she volunteers at the local Food Bank.

She Replied To My Son’s Message with This

"At the Food Bank they pass the ‘qualifying’ paperwork into the car.  The family closes the window and completes the paperwork and holds it up against the window so the Food Bank can take a photo!"

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At my Keep-My-Heart-From-Attacking-Me Park this has happened.

They Closed the Dog Parks

The gate is secured with a large padlock.

My question is, if the Dog and his Guardian (Formerly Known As: Owner) climb over the fence, who pays the $1,000 Fine and/or Spends the 60 Days in Jail, the Dog or the Guardian?

If it is the Guardian, can he get a reduced sentence if he can prove that the dog threatened to bite him?

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Another at my Keep-My-Heart-From-Attacking-Me Park happening.

They Have Police Taped Off (aks: Closed) the Children’s Playground)

I’m not questioning the necessity for this closing but I do think it is a Sad Picture. L

I have been told that there is a Police Sniper hidden in the trees to enforce the closure if some Little Unlawful Interloper Lopes Under the Tape.

Personally, I do not believe the above. I think it is much more likely that there is a Bureaucrat in those trees and, if and some Little Unlawful Interloper Lopes Under the Tape, the Bureaucrat will spring from the trees and force the little fellow to make a hasty retreat by striking him with his Government Issued Clip Board.

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I must apologize for this Blog Posting. I have been under Coronavirus House Arrest for more than a week and I am getting Silly.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: Speaking of Coronavirus House Arrest, we received this from one of our tennis players, “Unfortunately, I will not be able to play tomorrow.  I am under house arrest until my wife stops watching the news.”

The Poor and My Common Sense Will Always Be With Us But, The Way Things Are Going In Congress The Last Few Days, I Am Beginning To Doubt That We Will Always Be With Us

Our 9% Approval Rated (and falling) Congress is throwing around numbers as if numbers did not count. My Blog Posting (posted at least twice before) makes a strong case that Congress Can’t Count.

Too Many Members of Congress Can’t Handle Basic Arithmetic

This may seem elementary to those of you who have gone through the 5th grade.

Lots of numbers are being thrown around our 9% Approval Rated Congress these days. I watched in amazement recently on CSPAN as one of our elected "leaders" said the following …

"My good friend from across the aisle has just voiced strong opposition to my proposal to spend $10 Billion to convert all states that are using Paper Ballots to Electronic Voting Machines and to convert all states who are using Electronic Voting Machines to Paper Ballots. I continue to be amazed at the short sightedness of the Opposition Party and their ongoing inability to handle basic arithmetic with regard to a mere $10 Billion price tag."

"I am sure that the folks back home have no problem with spending $10 Billion for such a worthy project. They understand that 10 is not a big number. 11 is bigger than 10 and so is 12. If I were asking for 18, that ought to give pause to the taxpayers as to how their money is being spent but 10 is only 10.  It is hardly more than 9."

"Beam me up Lord. I can no longer stand being around these penny-pinchers who are not smarter than a 5th grader."

Ok, I admit I made up all of the above…Or did I?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

I Have The Fix!

I have been watching a Bunch of Briefings, a Gaggle of Speeches, a Plethora of Poking of Holes in the Air with Collective Fingers (I bet all of you can you guess where that was happening) and all of a sudden The Fix for a major source of this country’s problems hit me like a Flock of Bricks.

One of the doctors I heard speaking pointed out that Children Are Not Susceptible to the Coronavirus. 

That’s It! Don’t You See It? You say you don’t see it. Allow me to get out my Bullet Points and explain it to you…

Ø There are 535 Members in our Congress.

Ø Yes they are the Poking Holes in the Air People referred to above (I’m sure you already knew that).

Ø They have been cooperating with each other all weekend and we found out today that they have failed to pass the Coronavirus Relief Salvation Make It All Go Away Bill.

They failed when they were cooperating with each other. No wonder they get so little accomplished because we all know they have not cooperated with each other for many years. Now we find out that while cooperating they get as much done as when they are not cooperating.

Let’s back to The Fix…

Ø We need to replace the current 535 Members of Congress with 535 children aged 7 to 12 years old.

Ø Since they are 7 to 12 years of age they will not be getting the Coronavirus and having to self-quarantine themselves.

Ø This past weekend has proven that the 7 to 12 year old population in the Good Ole USofA is probably smarter than our current Congress.

OK, again many of you think I have gone off the deep end with this Silly Proposal. I have one arrow left in my quiver that will make you see the logic and viability of The Fix…

Because of their young ages none of these Members of our New Congress will be Lawyers!

I knew you would come around to seeing my Foolish Logic. 😃

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

A Needle In A Hay Stack Is A Piece of Cake Compared To Trying To Find Good News About Coronavirus That Isn’t Followed By A Series of “Ya, Buts…”

Have you ever heard of or do you remember Al Capp? He wrote the comic strip Li’l Abner from 1934 till 1977. Al Capp was famous for a long time, the merchandising sales that spun off from his comic strips made millions of dollars and he was acknowledged to be a Comic Strip Genius.

Today I am going to imitate Al Capp in writing this Blog Posting. He was known to say he was an Expert on Nothing with an Opinion on Everything. (I tried to verify him saying this about himself on the Internet and found that a Drag Queen Insult Comic named Bianca Del Rio has taken over what I just said Al Capp said about himself for herself). 

I am not going to be so bold to say I am an expert on the Coronavirus but in regards to this “Ya But…” I am going to claim to have an opinion that no one could disagree with…Or could they?

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A few days ago there was a dramatic announcement about a drug that showed great promise of being a cure for the Coronavirus…

Ø The drug is Chloroquine and is also called Hydroxychloroquine.

Ø It has been used as a treatment drug for Malaria for about 55 years.

Ø Chloroquine was first discovered in 1934 by Hans Andersag while he was working for Bayer AG.

Ø It has also been used to fight Rheumatoid Arthritis and Lupus Erythematosus. 

The Bottom Line is this is a well established and long used drug that any doctor can prescribe to his patients. It Does Not Kill People.

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The very next day after the news about Chloroquine became public, further information about Chloroquine was found in Small Headlined Articles below many much bigger the World is Coming to an End Headlined Articles.

By the third day it was difficult to find anything about Chloroquine and, when you did, the article you found was full of, “Ya Buts…”.

I am going to limit this Blog Posting to one particular “Ya But”…

Ø Here is the headline that caught my eye, “Virus Drug Touted by Trump, Musk Can Kill In Just Two Grams”.

Ø How many readers of this headline (who, as usual, did not read the whole article) said to their collective selves, “I ain’t gonna take that killer drug!”

The facts behind the Killer Headline are…

Ø The recommended dosage is 1 Gram a Day.

Ø It is true that, if one takes 2 Grams instead of 1 Gram, it can be fatal.

Ø This can probably be said for many drugs…If you double the recommended dosage you might get the hiccups, you might get a rash, you might start dressing up as Bianca Del Rio or you might die.

Ø It is also true that, if you double the recommended amount of Paprika in your Goulash, you could end up with Goulash that would make you gag.
>>>We do not see warning labels on Paprika cans saying, “Do not double the recommended amount of Paprika or you will gag!”

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I also saw this “proof” of the Dangers of Chloroquine...

A woman in Wuhan proved how lethal Chloroquine can be when it’s taken beyond the recommended dose. On Feb. 25, Shanghai-based The Paper reported that she took 1.8 grams of the drug she ordered online after suspecting she had the Coronavirus. She did not, but the drug caused her to develop malignant cardiac arrhythmia, which can cause sudden death, and she was admitted to the intensive care unit. 

To panic about the above paragraph the panicer (Ludwig, I know that’s not a word) has to…

Ø Not be too smart.

Ø Determine that she has the Coronavirus without consulting her doctor.

Ø Order the drug on the Internet without consulting her doctor.

Ø Not know about the recommended daily dosage (which she might have known about if she had consulted her doctor).

Ø Taken almost double the recommended daily dosage without consulting her doctor.

Ø There is a good chance she took the 1.8 grams all at one time. Since she had not consulted her doctor, she did not know that the recommended 1 gram per day is recommended by doctor people to be taken in 2 doses of 500 mg.

There are other “Ya Buts…” I could peck out for you but I am tired of pecking and you are tired of reading this blog, so the Blog Posting and I are now coming to an abrupt end.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: There are several graduates of my High School (Jesuit High School) reading this blog. If you don’t know, you are about to know that Al Capp created the Fighting Blue Jay Mascot figure you know so well…

 

Yea, I know the Toronto Blue Jays ripped us off and came up with this silly looking mascot thingy…

What Does a Radio Sports Talking Head Talk About When There Are No Sports to Talk About?

Yesterday I was listening to a Sports Talk Show Radio Station as I was in my park trying to keep my heart from attacking me. It was interesting to hear the Talking Sports Heads talking on and on about nothing.

There are no games to talk about because there are no games being played. They were desperate to find something to talk about. How long can a Talking Sports Head be expected to talk about nothing?

One of them came up with the following Sports Talk About Something Topic For Discussion…

Which Athlete Will Be Able To Turn This Shutdown To His Own Advantage?

Ø The talking sports head who came up with the Topic For Discussion then offered his answer to his Topic for Discussion. He said it would be LaBron James because he is 35 years old and he could have used a rest if and when the season resumes for his playoff run. He said it was obvious last year LaBron was getting tired as the season drew to a close.

Ø Then it was his Co-Host Talking Sports Head’s turn to take a crack at the Topic for Discussion. She said it would be LaBron James because he is 35 years old and he could have used a rest if and when the season resumes for his playoff run. She said it was obvious last year LaBron was getting tired as the season drew to a close.

Ø Then it was the First Caller of the Day’s turn to take a crack at the Topic for Discussion. He said it would be LaBron James because he is 35 years old and he could have used a rest if and when the season resumes for his playoff run. He said it was obvious last year LaBron was getting tired as the season drew to a close.

Ø Then it was the Second Caller of the Day’s turn to take a crack at the question but I changed the station because somehow I had the feeling that I knew what he was going to say.

I’ve got an idea. We ought to cancel the Radio Sports Talk Shows until something new comes bouncing their way.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

I Keep Asking This Question. I Keep Not Getting Any Good Answers. You Will See In This Blog Posting That Even The Answer I Gave To Myself Is Not A Good Answer.

Read the article reproduced from the WSJ below, if you want to.

To me the important points are highlighted in bold by none other than me.

It begs the question, “How do they know all these numbers are true?”

I have included a short Blog Posting of mine from October 2009 at the bottom of this Blog Posting.

Way back then I was already asking the question, “How do they know all of this Specific, Exacting and Minutely Detailed Information?”

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

·         OPINION 

·          COMMENTARY

Young Voters Outgrow Bernie Sanders

Millennials in their 30s, four years older than in 2016, have been far less likely to support him.

By 

Allysia Finley

March 16, 2020 6:38 pm ET

Supporters of Bernie Sanders at a rally in St. Louis, March 9.

Photo: Sid Hastings/Shutterstock

Democrats started down the road to socialism, then took an abrupt U-turn in South Carolina and have been speeding away ever since. One reason is that young voters haven’t shown up for Bernie Sanders in the numbers he’d hoped.

True, Mr. Sanders won 74% of those under 30 in last week’s Michigan primary, according to exit polls. But that was down from 81% in 2016. Their share of the electorate also declined, to 15% from 19%. Voters over 45 made up 63% of the Michigan electorate this year, compared with 55% in 2016. They overwhelmingly favored Joe Biden.

Other states show similar patterns. Under-30 voters still heavily favor Mr. Sanders, but his support in this age group fell by 36 percentage points in New Hampshire, 17 in Nevada, 14 points in Massachusetts and Virginia, and 15 in North Carolina. These states all voted before the field narrowed to Messrs. Sanders and Biden, but that wasn’t enough for Mr. Sanders to carry Michigan, as he did in 2016.

Exit polls show voters under 30 made up a smaller share of the Democratic electorate this year than in 2016 in New Hampshire (6 percentage points), South Carolina (4), Alabama (4) North Carolina (4), Tennessee (4), Texas (5), and Virginia (3). Voters over 65 increased their share by 8 points in New Hampshire, 10 in South Carolina, and 7 in Massachusetts, North Carolina and Tennessee.

Young Democrats also appear to be aging out of their enthusiasm for Mr. Sanders as they mature and start making money. Wages for young workers are rising faster than for any other age group, which may have diminished the salience of his populist economic message. Mr. Sanders’s support this year among millennials in their 30s has been considerably lower than among those in their 20s. In Michigan, he won 53% of voters 30 to 39 compared with 74% of those under 30. In Iowa, 86% of voters under 25 in Iowa supported Mr. Sanders in 2016. This year only 55% of those 25 to 29 did.

It’s an old story. In 1972, when 18-year-olds voted for the first time, baby boomers were far likelier than older generations to support George McGovern. Today’s radical young voters are tomorrow’s cautious older ones.

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October 2012

Exit Polling

I could understand...

• 55% say they voted for this guy.
• 45% say they voted for that guy.

It is the Specific, Exacting and Minute Detail that I don't understand...

• 42% of the white voters, who went to two years of college, who were left-handed carpenters, voted for this guy.
• 63% of fallen-away Catholics, who have been married three times, where the first and third marriages were to the same person, voted for that guy.
• 54% of those who voted in the 1992 election, but did not vote in the 1996, nor the 2000 election, but returned to the voting booth in the 2004, 2008 & 2012 elections, voted for this guy.

Oh well, so much for Secret Balloting.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: Here is a Tongue-In-Cheek Answer I myself gave to this ongoing question back in November 2009…

How Do “They” Know That?

I have been told by my radio that the following is fact…

In The Last Year 82,000,000 Americans Contemplated Suicide

I ask you, How Do “They” Know That?

“They” would probably give me the standard response, “Researchers” told us.

Did “they” ask 82,000,000 people if they had contemplated suicide?

Ok, I know what “they” did. “They” asked a smaller number and extrapolated that smaller number into a larger number…

• If “they” asked 39 people and 10 said they had contemplated suicide, this would be 25.625%.
• There are about 320,000,000 people in the country at this time.
• 320,000,000 times 25.625% equals 82,000,000 suicide contemplating people.

That’s it! That is how “they” got to their number. I should have known that “they” would not give us a bum steer (whatever that means).

If this satisfies your curiosity, you can consider the matter closed and I encourage you to go do something constructive with your time.

Coronavirus Is the Only News

I have often been amazed how we can be covered up with a certain news story by our National News Media and we know (because we are told) that this news story is the Absolute Most Important Happening Happening in the world around us and then some other news story happens and the First Most Important News Happening completely disappears and we are covered up with the New Absolute Most Important News Happening. (Yes, I know the prior sentence was too long but it had to be because it was about Absolute Most Important Stuff.)

It has happened time and again and one of the agains was when the Good Ole USofA was being threatened back in the 1980s by Muammar Gaddafi of Libya with Dire Major Consequences (dire major consequences is a lot more dire and major than dire consequences or major consequences as stand-alone consequences) if we dared to cross his Line of Death in his Gulf of Sidra. Every day we were being told that we were required to worry about Qaddafi and his Line and his Gulf and his Consequences.

Then the Challenger Space Shuttle exploded 73 seconds into its launch and Qaddafi and his Line and his Gulf and his Consequences completely disappeared from the news.

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Have you heard of the Coronavirus? Have you heard of anything other than the Coronavirus since the Coronavirus Exploded onto the World Stage?

The Consequences of the Coronavirus are not just the disease and the deaths related to the Coronavirus. The Economic Consequences are going to throttle this county and its citizens for a long time to come.

If you close Mom and Pop’s Really Good Sandwich Shop it means a lot more than Tom, Dick and Harry can’t get their Really Good Corned Beef Sandwich. The employees of Mom and Pop’s Really Good Sandwich Shop lose their jobs. Losing their jobs does not mean they go home and wait for their pay check to come it the mail. The mail may come but it will bring no pay check.

My Dear Readers, we are talking about an awful lot of Shops and Lost Jobs and Pay Checks that are Never Going to Arrive.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

The Late George Carlin Is a Friend of Mine

The above Subject is a Fella Lie. Ole George might be a friend of mine if he knew who I was but, since he never visits me while I am writing my blogs like the late Paul Harvey does, he will very likely never become my friend.

As for me, I very much would like to be his friend because I enjoy being around anyone who plays with words like he does did.

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This Is A Confusing Menu!

Your options are…

Ø Shrimp Medium Small

Ø Shrimp Medium Large

Ø Shrimp Large Small

Ø Shrimp Large Large

The Late George Carlin loved to eat at restaurants like this. He would have confused the waiter about his restaurant’s confusing menu with this question, “My good man, I see you have Jumbo Shrimp on your menu. Can you tell me if this entree is composed of Large Shrimp or Small Jumbos?”

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Am I Very Smart? If I Am Very Smart, I’m Going To Dumb Down Myself As Quickly As I Can.

Most of you know I’m not that smart. “Smartfella” came about as a play around with not wanting to be uncovered as the publisher of my Foolishness…Or Is It Blog while at the same time being famous for publishing my Blog. 

Am I starting to lose you? Hang with me a little longer and I’ll try and find you and bring you back.

When I started I had visions being famous for my Blog but actually doing it in secret so I could go about my daily routines anonymously. That part of my vision came together in fine fashion because I have never been asked for my autograph.

Being Sly Cunning and Alert I came up with the idea of calling myself Smart Alex (because my name was Alex) but since that might give away my anonymity, I came up with Smartfella (see how smart I can be when I put my mind to it).

There is a lot wrong with the above plan of action. Not least of which is I did not become very famous. Proof of that is I published a book of some of my blog postings and I sold less than a hundred of copies of the book. I would not have flirted with the hundred number except for that fact that a number of my relatives felt obligated to buy a book.

I called my book the World’s Greatest Bathroom Book but, since I sold less than a hundred of them, I probably should have called it A Bathroom Book.

Mao Zedong wrote The Little Red Book (some sources claim 6.5 billion copies have been distributed). My book is green so I could have called it The Little Green Book (but Muammar Gaddafi did that one). Time has proven The Little Read Book would have proven more appropriate.

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Today I found out that I really don’t want to be the smartest man of all time. The smartest man that we know of led an awful life.

No, his name was not Einstein (IQ estimated to be 160). His name was William James Sidis (IQ fell somewhere between 250 and 300). 

Read the link below to come to an understanding of how smart I am to not want to be as smart as he was…
https://www.quora.com/Who-was-the-smartest-person-of-all-time

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

TinyHandsGate

ESPN ran a story headlined…

JOE BURROW MEASURED WITH 9-INCH HANDS AT THE NFL COMBINE

Most people probably looked at this headline and wondered whether 9-Inch Hands were Good or Bad.

ESPN tried to make it sound Worst than Bad until the Sporting World started laughing at them and then they tried to back away from their “shocking” scoop but it was too late.

Was it Forrest Gump who first said, “Silly is as Silly is”?

Here is the kind of Silliness that made ESPN look Silly…

ESPN’s Adam Schefter could hardly contain himself when he said on the air, “The combine’s all about picking apart players and finding flaws. We have found a flaw in Joe Burrow before the combine really gets under way”.

To back up their big story ESPN threw out some “Damning Numbers”…

• Burrow’s hands were now officially a half-inch shorter than last year’s Number 1 Quarterback Draft Pick, Kyler Murray (9.5-inch hands).
  >>>The not silly people said, “Doesn’t anyone at ESPN have a ruler handy? A half inch ain’t that much”. 
• ESPN came back with a Yea But and offered up that Burrow’s hands were even shorter than the Number 1 Quarterback Draft Pick from 2 years ago revealing that Baker Mayfield’s hands were 9.25-inches big.
  >>>The Not Silly people pointed out that 9.25-inches was even less than 9.5-inches and 9.5-inches was already established in the above bullet as being a Silly Little Bit Bigger than Burrow’s 9-inch hands.
• Before ESPN could muster up another Yea But they were hit in their collective Silly Faces by the fact that this year’s Super Bowl Most Valuable Player Quarterback, Patrick Mahomes has 9.25-inch hands.

At this point ESPN saw the Silly in their Foolish Position and cranked up their word processors to publish this turnaround headline…

WHY THE NFL COMBINE BUILT A MYTH AROUND QB HAND SIZE. IT IS A MEASUREMENT THAT DOESN’T MEAN ANYTHING.

I guess the Devil (Combine) Made Them Do It.

Unless the Cincinnati Bengals prove to be Stupider than ESPN is Silly they are going to pick Joe Burrow as the Number 1 Pick in the NFL Draft. If Cincinnati can have a season that is half as big a turn around as the above ESPN headline, they will have had their best season in a long time.

Fella is not very far out on a limb by making the above statement because the Cincinnati Bengals have not won a playoff game since 1990 which is 6 years before Joe Burrow was born.

Cincinnati will take a chance on Joe Tiny Hands Burreaux and pick him #1. Besides Tigers don’t have hands anyway. They got Paws!

Would I kid u?
Smartfella

Lagniappe: If I were to list all the records Joe Burrow had set in his 2 years at LSU I would surpass the Elastic Limit of my Blog. Come to think of it there is no way Joe Burrow using his 9” Tiny Hands could possibly have set all those records, therefore, the records he did set are hereby declared Null and Void and he officially did not do what he did do.

Adapting To The Coronavirus Panic

Just in case you are planning to head out to Walmart or Target or the Grocery Store in the morning to stock up on Hand Sanitizer I am here to help you find the exact location inside the store used for stocking your life-saving Hand Sanitizer.


There are 2 things that will show you where to go as soon as you enter the store…

• Start looking around the store for a large crowd of people. It won’t take long because the large crowd of people will be very large.
• The shelf that the large crowd is gathered around is certain to be the location where the store displays their offering of Hand Sanitizer.

I will give you 2 other hints that you have found the right location…

• Not one single bottle of Hand sanitizer will be on the shelves.
• The Large Crowd staring at the empty shelves will be Weeping and Gnashing their teeth.

Prepare yourself. It is going to be an awful sight to behold.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella


Lagniappe: There is hope. As you leave the store you will have a chance to buy a $.98 bottle of Hand Sanitizer from an Early Bird Entrepreneurial Shopper for $10. Yes, he will be smiling.

I've Had It With Election Up To Here! If You Figure Out Where "Here" Is, Go Up Higher!

Fuggedaboutit!

In the Good Ole USofA we are always having elections. It’s one of the pain-in-the-butt things we have to put up with because we live in a Democratic Country. I do not want to change that but the Politicians keep making us shout, “Aghhhh!” while they run for office.

They take advantage of us because we have a propensity to believe what they tell us during their campaigns for office because we want to believe what they tell us during their campaigns for office.

I once heard a leader of one of our political parties say, ‘Yea, Yea Politicians Say A Lot of Things When They Run for Office’. (I used single quotes because the quote is not exact but it is the essence of what she said.)

She gave this response when asked about something one of her elected party members was doing in office that was in contradiction to what he had said he was going to do before he was elected. 

The saddest part is she laughed when she said it. Watching her laugh made me feel Gullible and a Bit Silly that I had believed her guy.

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While running for election one of our New State Governors promised to, “Fix the Damn Roads”. When she said, “Fix the Damn Roads” during a debate it was suggested that to do that she would need to raise gas taxes by $0.20 a gallon. She labeled this contention as “ridiculous”. 

After being elected her first budget proposal contained an increase in the gasoline tax of $0.45 a gallon.

She then admitted that much of her new tax to fix those roads wasn’t going to be used for fixing those roads.

The slogan to “Fix the Damn Roads” was effective. It is sad that, all too often, we vote for slogans and, all too often, we end up feeling Gullible and a Bit Silly.

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This Blog Posting could have ended with the word “Silly” above but this horse ain’t dead yet.

Recently a politician was found keeping his campaign promises and he came in for criticism because he was actually keeping his Campaign Promises. His opposition actually said (single quotes again)…

'The only reason he is doing this is to keep a Campaign Promise'

Keeping a Campaign Promise sounds like a good reason to do something after you are elected because you made Campaign Promises to get elected but what do I know I’m Gullible and a Bit Silly.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella