Thursday, March 05, 2020

Adapting To The Coronavirus Panic


Just in case you are planning to head out to Walmart or Target or the Grocery Store in the morning to stock up on Hand Sanitizer I am here to help you find the exact location inside the store used for stocking your life-saving Hand Sanitizer.


There are 2 things that will show you where to go as soon as you enter the store…
  • Start looking around the store for a large crowd of people. It won’t take long because the large crowd of people will be very large.
  • The shelf that the large crowd is gathered around is certain to be the location where the store displays their offering of Hand Sanitizer.

I will give you 2 other hints that you have found the right location…
  • Not one single bottle of Hand sanitizer will be on the shelves.
  • The Large Crowd staring at the empty shelves will be Weeping and Gnashing their teeth.
Prepare yourself. It is going to be an awful sight to behold.


Would I kid u?

Smartfella


Lagniappe: There is hope. As you leave the store you will have a chance to buy a $.98 bottle of Hand Sanitizer from an Early Bird Entrepreneurial Shopper for $10. Yes, he will be smiling.

5 comments:

Bobby Tony said...

I thought, I had discovered a secret solution to the problem. The Medical section of the store where they store the bandages and mask will not have as large a crowd, but they may have a few bottles of Rubbing Alcohol (70% Isopropyl) which is the same as the sanitizer without the gelatin. Alas, the shelf there was empty also but there was plenty of Listerine.

Anonymous said...

The same with face masks...........I needed a mask to wear while spraying for bugs up in my attic, forget about it, none to be had!!!!!!

Ludwig said...

There is another place to get your hand sanitizer. The liquor store next door. Head for the vodka shelf. Even the cheapest brand is excellent to use as sanitizer, and besides, it has other uses. ;-)

Bobby Tony said...

Wiki tells me that Since the 1890s, standard vodkas have been 40% alcohol by volume (ABV) (80 U.S. proof).] The European Union has established a minimum alcohol content of 37.5% for vodka.[3][4] Vodka in the United States must have a minimum alcohol content of 40%
They say that you need at least 60% alcohol content to be a sanitizer. My Italian math on the subject of Vodka if that is true then we need to drop the VOLUME Nomenclature and buy two bottles which would make the content 80% alcohol content.
By that same math I knew a country boy who bought made moonshine. It cost him $5 to make a bottle and he sold it for $10. He said he was able to get by on the 2% margin.

Alessandro Rosolino Ortolano said...

I wish this blog site would let me "like" or "laugh out lout" along with the blog and comments. Bobby Tony "like" LOL