Happy Birthday To Who?

Here I go again reminding you that I am a Noticer. I notice things that other non-noticing people do not notice. I know each of my dear readers is happy that I notice what I notice...Or are they?

My iPhone gives me access to over 1,500 Emoticons. I actually tried to count them but had to finally decide that a 1,500+ guess was the best I could do.

In looking through my 1,500+ Emoticons I saw that there was one of everything for anything...Or was there?

What I could not find was anything having to do with Christmas. (It must have something to do with Separation of Church & Smiley Faces.) There used to be a little Christmas Tree, but not anymore. I know some of you consider this progress but Old Fashioned Fella does not.

I was out & about in my car a couple of nights ago when I started thinking about creating this Blog Posting & I began looking at Holiday Decorations (formerly known as Christmas Decorations) as I drove along. Based on what I saw, I got to wondering about whose birthday we were celebrating. Was it...

Ø Frosty the Snowman?

Ø Charlie Brown?

Ø Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer?

Ø A Bunch of Nutcrackers?

Ø The Candy Cane?

Ø The Grinch?

To me it looked like Rudolph was the clear winner. Frosty was a strong but distant second. It is only a matter of time before we are going to be frantically scurrying around buying presents & greeting everyone we see with, “Merry Rudolphmas”.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Christmas Silliness

Congress ought to pass a law that says it's against the law to run Commercials and TV Shows every year about the absolutely awful time American Families have with awful relatives who visit with them for the holidays.

Usually there is an Uncle Jake &/or an Aunt Hazel that are the culprits. They have different names but they ruin everything for the rest of the relatives. Everyone dreads them coming & they come every year.

I think that such families are the exception & not the rule. However, by running so many such Commercials & TV Shows the producers make such families seem like the rule.

One thing I know for sure is my family does not have this problem. We don’t have a single Uncle Jake, Aunt Hazel or any such person by any other name. We are always glad to see each other & we enjoy being around each other.

If the depictions of these Commercials and TV Shows are actually true, I feel sorry for the families that experience such Christmas Silliness.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: Merry Christmas

When The Fella Sees Something...The Fella Says Something

I have just eaten my lunch. The whole time I was eating my lunch I was watching a TV screen full of Los Angeles Unified School District, Los Angeles City Officials, State of California Officials and Los Angeles County Officials standing behind a podium that was occupied in turn by one of them as they said what they had to say about the Closing of the Los Angeles Unified School District’s Schools today.

Each one of them was saying the same thing as the one before them had said and the one after them was going to say.

So far you are thinking I am being critical for over-reaction or repetition or loitering behind the podium but I am not. What I am blogging about is an important issue I saw on my TV and, as usual, I do not just poke holes in the air with my finger but I am here to propose a Fix.

The Issue/Problem:

• It appears that the Chief Official for every one of these entities were on my TV screen.
• By having to appear to speak and stand in support of others who are speaking they are not doing their jobs!
• Should they not be out chasing the bad guys?
• Should they not be at, the very least, tweeting words of encouragement in support of their people who are out chasing the bad guys?
• The Bottom Line: They can’t do their jobs because they are required to be at this podium telling us how they are doing their jobs and how much they care about us and how much they feel our pain.

The Fella Fix:

• In times like these there ought to be a Federal Bunch of Official Distinguished and Responsible Looking People ready to be flown to any such happening to stand in for the real Official Distinguished and Responsible Looking People who are out doing their jobs.
• This At The Ready Stand-In Team would be there to give us Folks Back Home confidence that everything is being done by the real Official Distinguished and Responsible Looking People and how much the real Official Distinguished and Responsible Looking People care about us and how much they feel our pain.
• If they want the Fella to help, I will be glad to go to Dollar Tree and buy them a bunch of Stars for their use on their hats, collars and upper lets (Yea, there were a whole bunch of stars on all of them.)

The Fella’s Sad Closing: We are told that these Officials are the ones in charge of the Los Angeles Unified School District, the Los Angeles Police Department, the State Police Department, the Mayor’s Office, etc. Actually they are not in charge. I’m sorry to say that it appears that the Terrorist, in cahoots with Alexander Graham Bell, are calling the shots.

Can a single phone call cause all this?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Sudden Death & Other Bad Things

Every day I am amazed at all these Prescription Drug Commercials on Television. What’s that you say? You say you have not seen one of these commercials in the last few minutes. Let me say this about that, “Wait another minute”.

What am I amazed about? It is simple. I am amazed that products can be sold to the American Public by running commercials where 80% of the contained information imparted is made up of Warnings about the Dire Consequence of what could happen to you if you took the Advertised Drug, including Sudden Death.

The whole scenario just does not make sense but, actually the Pharmaceutical Companies are making lots of Cents by running these commercials (millions of dollars).

I’ve often told you about my Potted Plant outfit which allows me to gather information for Foolishness...Or Is It?. Another arrow in my quiver is my Fly on the Wall Outfit. I used this outfit to get into a Board of Directors Meeting of a major pharmaceutical company last week & what I heard confirmed my ongoing confusion & general lack of comprehension as to why their sales pitches work.

Here is what I heard...

• A board member: Mr. Chairman, are we ready to launch our latest Wonder Drug Zxyjrza? (Have you ever noticed how often these drugs have J or X or Y or Z in their name?) 
•  Chairman: Before I answer that question of yours, Ed, how many times have I told you that it is against Federal Law to address me as “Chairman”? You know darn good & well that my title is “Chairperson”. 
•  Chairperson: That having been said, the launch delay is that our launch commercial team is stuck at 50% Bad Effects on the huperson body. We all know that we will not get the attention of the American Drug Buying Public if we launch a commercial that is not at least 80% chock full of Dire Catastrophic Warnings. 
•  Chairperson: If we launch with less than 80% God Awful Devastating Content, we would be forced to talk about the benefits of taking this drug. You all are well aware that we have many highly successful drugs on the market for years that we have yet to come up with any good reason why they ought to be taken. 
•  Chairperson: We know from past experience that, if we don’t put at least 80% Catastrophic Content in our commercials, the American Buying Public will pay no attention to us & we all are well aware of what that can do to our bonuses.

Ever wonder why these drugs are called Wonder Drugs? That’s because, after they tell you all the bad things that can happen to you by taking them, it is a Wonder that anyone actually dares to take them.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

The “Must Read” Requirement...Again

Years ago I took note of my local newspaper’s ongoing practice of labeling certain articles with a white on gray box that reads, “Must Read”.

I played around with this concept in two blog postings... http://forii.blogspot.com/search?q=Must+Read.

I had fun with it & I know those of you who read them had fun also...Or did u?

Today’s “Must Read” has the headline...

Scientists develop algorithm to make computers to think like people

I will finish this Posting with a Fella Assignment & a Simple Question...

Assignment:

• Go read the news in your morning newspaper or the news section of the Internet for 5 minutes.
• That ought to be long enough to come to a full realization of How People Think.

Simple Question:

• Do you still think it is a good idea for computers to Think Like People?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Is The Fella Smarter Than Many State Governors?

This commentary is not about Muslims or Syrian Refugees or Immigration Policy. It is about Common Sense. Do you remember Common Sense?

The Federal Government plans to bring in 10,000 Syrian Refugees into the Good Ole USofA. Many State Governors are taking a Firm Stand against any of the 10,000 coming into their particular states.

As you well know, the Fella is an expert on Silly. I am thinking that the Firm Standing Governors are being a bit Silly. To take meaningful action the Governors need to go one step further by demanding that the Federal Government ensure that, no matter what state the Refugees are brought into, their shoes are taken away from them before they enter the Country. 

Am I wrong in thinking that, once the Refugees are inside the Good Ole USofA, they can walk to any of 49 Continental States? If they were brought in without shoes, the Firm Standing Governors constituents would be safe...Or would they be?

I must be wrong again. Certainly these duly elected public servants (whatever that means) are smarter than the Fella & have thought about this possibility...Or are they?...Or have they?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Hate Thy Neighbor

I like watching football but I think our announcers getting carried away with their Game Day Hysteria. This year’s Georgia vs. Georgia Tech game is a good example of why I think we are not in danger of falling in love with our neighboring football player anytime in the near future.

The catch phrase of the day on this game broadcast was “Clean Old Fashioned Hate”. They said this phrase over & over. I would be willing to bet they said it more than they said, "15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance."

Do the players want to score more points than the opposition? I certainly hope so! But do they really hate their opponents? I hope not.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Love Your Lawyer

A Line From Shakespeare: ''The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers”.

Here are the first 3 paragraphs of an article out of the Wall Street Journal on November 6, 2015. Those of you who have been with me for awhile will think I made this foolishness up. Those of you who reading your first Foolishness...Or Is It? will think I made this foolishness up...

The First Thing We Do, Let’s Love All the Lawyers

For a profession sometimes held in contempt, it was a plaintive plea: Lawyers were looking for love.

“WHEREAS, Lawyers have consistently been the target of verbal bashing, derogatory portrayals and literature is rife with lawyer bashing dated back hundreds of years,” reads the preamble of a resolution unanimously passed by the American Bar Association’s law practice division last month.

“Lawyers throughout the nation,” it said, “are urged to celebrate ‘Love Your Lawyer Day’ to help promote a positive and more respected image of lawyers and their contributions to society.”

The First Friday in November (this Foolishness is intended to be an annual celebration) has come & gone. Did any of you hear of anything happening on The Big Day? I certainly have not.

How about all you lawyers out there who are addicted to reading Foolishness...Or Is It?. Did anyone make love to you on November 6? If so, submit a comment to this blog posting & tell us all about it.

If no one made love to you, I am here to tell all of you why. It’s because of those silly law suits you are clogging up our crack judicial system with, that why!

Here are just a few of the law suits that made you feel so unloved on November 6^th...

Ø A Hardware Store was sued because it sold a Trash Can without trash in it. The plaintiff’s lawyer said his client had to go to all the trouble to create and/or buy his own trash.

Ø A company dumped a humongous amount of toxic waste in a stream but it was not sued by the Federal Government. Another company on a different stream was sued for all the toxic waste that the not-sued company had dumped. The plaintiff’s lawyer argued in court, “Your Honor, the company that did the dumping is in a precarious financial condition. If we had sued the dumping company, we would not have gotten enough damages to cover our exorbitant fee”.

Ø A Mom & Pop Novelty Store was sued out of existence because a shopper slipped on a banana peel in a Big Box Store seven blocks away from Mom & Pop’s little establishment. The Big Box’s Lawyer successfully argued in court that the Bog Box Store was important while the Mom & Pop Store was not.

Ø A Big Box Store was successfully sued in court for paying an hourly wage that was not a Living Wage by an employee that did not work at the Big Box Store. The plaintiff’s lawyer contended that, if his client had actually worked at the Big Box Store, he would not have been able to support his Nine Children, put gas in his Speed Boat or even gas up his Motor Home, which he uses to drive to his Ski Home Getaway in Idaho each winter.

A spokesman for the American Bar Association jumped into fray by saying Love Your Lawyer Day may not be necessary. He came armed with statistics that say 21% of Americans like lawyers. A spokesman for The Fella (me) has this to say about that, “21% isn’t much. Heck a baseball player who batted only 21% would only be able to sign a contract for $4 Million!”

I predict that the successful implementation of Love Your Lawyer Day could very well change the national perception of lawyers in the Good Ole USofA. No longer will Lawyers be upon as Sleazy. In the future they will be seen as Silly & Sleazy.

The Fella’s Question of the Day: What’s next, National Nacho Maker’s Day or National Oboe Player’s Day or, more logically, National Fella’s Day?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe One: If you want to read the WSJ whole article, click here: http://www.wsj.com/articles/SB22518117221366974746504581337521970654338

Lagniappe Another: After all the slamming I did about lawyers in this Blog Posting, I will now attempt to make up with all my loyal lawyer readers. This comes from the New York Times...

'Kill the Lawyers,' A Line Misinterpreted

Published: June 17, 1990

In reference to the review of ''Guilty Conscience,'' (May 20) Leah D. Frank is inaccurate when she states that when Shakespeare had one of his characters state ''Let's kill all the lawyers,'' it was the corrupt, unethical lawyers he was referring to. Shakespeare's exact line ''The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers,'' was stated by Dick the Butcher in ''Henry VI,'' Part II, act IV, Scene II, Line 73. Dick the Butcher was a follower of the rebel Jack Cade, who thought that if he disturbed law and order, he could become king. Shakespeare meant it as a compliment to attorneys and judges who instill justice in society.

DEBBIE VOGEL

Westbury

Funny Things Come In Twos

My Blog is named Foolishness...Or Is It? The first of my two twos is going to strike many of you as shear unmitigated silly foolishness because it is so far out that you are going to shout at your computer, “He made that up! That could not have happened!”

------------------------

• I was crossing a street yesterday on a four lane road.
• There were two cars stopped on my left waiting for the light to change as I walked by.
• Both cars were occupied by young good looking ladies.
• Since they were both young good looking ladies, I looked at them.
• Neither one of them was talking on or pecking at their Smartphones.

I just heard the mockery out there in Blog World. Many of you are jeering at me for daring to think that I could make you think it is possible to find two drivers of automobiles anywhere in the Good Ole USofA who are not on their Smartphones.

This is a cross I have to bear. If I am going to be world famous as a Blogger of Note, I have to accept the fact that, no matter how true what I peck out is, there are many that will not believe me.

------------------------

The second of my twos (actually it is two twos) is easier to believe because each of you will instantly see the absolute necessity of spending this two.

My sources in Washington, D.C. have told me on the Condition of Anonymity that President Obama is preparing to issue an Executive Order outlawing all use of Cell Phones in the Good Ole USofA.

He is fully cognizant of the biggest problem his action is going to create & he is borrowing from China the sum of Two Billion Dollars to teach Americans how to again drive with two hands on their steering wheels.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Oh Darn! I Violated My Warranty!

I don’t want to imply that the packaging around products we buy today is too hard to get into but what I really want to say is the packaging around products we buy today is too hard to get into.
The above paragraph may have confused you but imagine how confused I was when the following happened to me after I opened the packaging that contained my new Widgit & found I had a problem because I was missing a component.
I called Widgit Customer Service & the call went something like this...

• Widgit: “Widgit Customer Service. How may I help you today?”
• Me: “Hi. I sure hope so. After I opened the packaging containing my new Widgit I found I was missing the charging cable.”
• Widgit: “Excuse me, sir. Would you repeat that?”
• Me: “After I opened the packaging containing my new Widgit I found I was missing the charging cable.”
• Widgit: “Sir! That is impossible. We go to great expense to make sure that our packaging cannot be gotten into. This is the first time I have ever heard of anyone breaching our packaging. Our Penetration Prevention Engineers are going to be devastated by this news!”
• Me: “Well it was not easy but with the help of a set of channel locks, a jig saw, a scissors & my next door neighbor who is a professional wrestler I got in there. It took an hour and a half but I got in there.”
• Widgit: “Sir, because of your rash actions, I must inform you that you have violated the terms of your Widgit Extremely Limited Warranty. You, sir, are up the creek without a paddle.”
• Me: “I don’t understand. Am I not within my rights to use the product I paid good money for?”
• Widgit: “Of course not! If we had wanted to allow you to actually use this product, we would not have gone to all the trouble & expense to design packaging which is obviously intended to be bullet proof & which you & your burley neighbor went out of your way to destroy! Sir, I would like to help you but you have made you bed & now you are going to have to lie in it!”

He was right. I should have known better.
OK, I admit I made up this whole call to Widgit Customer Service...Or did I?
Would I kid u?
Smartfella

Coffee Coffee Everywhere But Not A Drop To Drink

There was a time when we in the Good Ole USofA just drank our coffee & we paid no attention to our coffee.

Then Coffee Experts started telling us Coffee Was Bad for Us & later Coffee Will Kill Us.

This went on for decades.

Earlier this year we were told that coffee might not be bad for us after all.

Now we being told if we don’t drink coffee we will die. Click here... http://www.fox5atlanta.com/news/50629897-story

Next time I meet up with a Coffee Expert I just might punch him in his smart nose.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: If you have not had enough of me for the day, read 2 other Blog Postings I did about Coffee...

http://forii.blogspot.com/2012/02/dont-take-me-there.html

&

http://forii.blogspot.com/2010/06/little-mr-starbucks-asks-his-father-for.html

I Can’t Believe What That Talking Head Just Said To Me Through My TV

This is not a quote but it went something like this... It is a shame that this country, with all its wealth, does nothing for the poor.

I have heard in the past that there are 82 Federal Programs that are intended to help the poor. I did some research & could not find a link to 82 Federal Programs but I stumbled upon a listing of Aid Programs in the State of Rhode Island.

As further explanation, I added small print to those programs where the name gave little or no hint as to what the program actually does...

Ø Child Care Subsidy Program

Ø Head Start

Ø Early Head Start

Ø Supplemental Nutrition Program

Ø Summer Food Service Program

Ø Supplemental Nutrition Program for Women Infants and Children

Ø Other Food Assistance...Meal Sites & Food Pantries around the state.

Ø Free/Reduced Meals

Ø Dental Care

Ø Emergency Medical Assistance...Individuals that meet the eligibility criteria for one of the Medical Assistance Programs (seniors, people with disabilities, children and parents) but who are ineligible for benefits because of immigrant status (including undocumented individuals,

Ø Free Clinics

Ø General Public Assistance Medical... Provides limited medical coverage to individuals who are disabled longer than 30 days and unable to work. 

Ø Hospital Free Care

Ø Katie Beckett Program... Provides medical coverage through the Medical Assistance Program to children with serious disabilities so they can live with their parents instead of in an institution.

Ø Medical Assistance for Women with Breast or Cervical Cancer

Ø Medicare Premium Payment Programs

Ø Community Health Centers

Ø Medicaid - Adults 65+ and people with disabilities

Ø RIte Care/RIte Share... For families with low income, all family members may be eligible for RIte Care/Rite Share (Medicaid).  For families with moderate income, children will be eligible for Rite Care and the parent(s) may be able to enroll in coverage through HealthSource RI and receive federal and state assistance to help buy a commercial health insurance plan.  Similarly, pregnant women may be eligible for Rite Care/RIte Share if income is within the limits or for help purchasing commercial coverage.

Ø RI Pharmaceutical Assistance for Elderly Program

Ø Hospital-based Primary Care

Ø Community Mental Health Centers

Ø Other Health Coverage... residents who are not eligible for other health insurance can purchase family or individual health and/or dental coverage directly from Blue Cross & Blue Shield of Rhode Island (BCBSRI).

Ø Prescription Assistance

Ø Medicaid - Adults 19-64

Ø HealthSource RI... Affordable Health Coverage Property Tax Relief Circuit Breaker Program.

Ø Rental Assistance

Ø Emergency Shelters

Ø Child Care Tax Credit

Ø Child Support

Ø Child Tax Credit

Ø Earned Income Tax Credit (EITC)

Ø General Public Assistance (GPA)... Time-limited cash assistance to individuals who are disabled.

Ø Rhode Island Works Program... Cash assistance to families with children up to age 18 and work readiness services for enrolled parents.

Ø Supplemental Security Income (SSI)

Ø Unemployment Insurance

Ø Temporary Caregiver Insurance Program (TCI)

Ø Temporary Disability Insurance Program (TDI)

Ø Low Income Home Energy Assistance Program

Ø Telephone Assistance Lifeline Program

Up until I researched for this blog posting, I did not realize that Nothing could be So Many.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella