Give This Guy A Job

My newspaper tells me that there is a guy in San Francisco that has made more than 30,000 bogus calls to the 911 Emergency Service since 2007.

Here is a good example of the magnitude of the problem as taken from my newspaper...

During a 24-hour period on Thanksgiving Day 2012, dispatchers at the city's Department of Emergency Management reported 1,527 false 911 calls—more than one a minute. They believed all the calls came from just five phones, based in part on the cell phone towers from which the calls were connected. Police were unable to make any arrests.

Many cities all over the Good Ole USofA are being flooded with this problem. It will become even more widespread now that my newspaper has given it exposure by publishing this article that I am blogging about.

At the root of the problem is a 1997 FCC requirement that all carriers include emergency-dialing capability on cell phones whether they have working service or not. Back then, 911 centers supported the feature as a potential lifeline.

I do not blame Congress for trying to protect the poor among us but the experiment has proven to be an uncontrollable disaster that is being abused and cannot be stopped.

What I do blame Congress for its inability to see this (or any problem) and then taking action to fix the now-seen problem. Once regulations are imposed, they live forever.

The fix is to cancel this emergency use provision.

That is not going to happen because not one of our elected Representative/Senators is going to stand up and say something like, “I am sorry that there are some of the folks back home that may suffer harm but that’s the way it has to be”.

If such a logical thinking person were in Congress and that person actually did stand up and say those heartless words above, the whole proposal will go up (or down) in flames when another member of Congress stands up and says, “If one single person’s life is saved, this program is justified and must continue”.

That would do it. We will keep this uncontrollable regulation and we will keep spending all the dollars that have to be spent sending out our emergency people to investigate bogus 911 calls all over the Good Ole USofA.

As an aside, have you ever noticed that, when discussing Regulations, the word “imposed” is always used? For example: A regulation has been imposed whereby people with gaps between their front teeth must wear hockey masks so that their fellow Americans who are opposed to gaps between front teeth will not have to look at their front teeth gaps.

We never hear, “a new regulation has been bestowed”. It is always imposed but, come to think of it, “imposed” sort of fits, does it not?

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Why don’t our authorities go out and grab these evil people by the collar, take their phones away from them, put the phones on the ground and hit them with big hammers and send the evil people to jail for a very long time?

My wish expressed in the above paragraph is not going to happen because, since there is no phone number associated with these phones, our law enforcement people say they can’t find the phones.

I understand how hard it is for Congress to get their arms wrapped around this dilemma but, as usual, the Smartfella has a recommendation to fix this thorny problem. It is simply this, why not go get one of those Computer Experts from one our many TV Cop Shows and have them find the bad guys for the police? They do it every week on TV...

• Good morning, Homer, may I say I sure like that new propeller on the top of your hat.
• We need you to help us find this week’s bad guy.
• The only information we have is that his name starts with an “M” and he lives is Los Angeles.

Homer seems to be oblivious to the complement directed at his new propeller but immediately he turns around and starts entering information into his computer with its 3 massive computer screens behind the keyboard. Within 15 second he says, “My data base is a little sketchy on this guy but I will give you what I do see here and it may help you capture this dastardly fellow before the end of this hour and prevent us from having to turn this one into a two-part episode”...

• His name is Milton.
• He is 5’ 10” tall.
• His family emigrated from Bulgaria in 1975.
• He was once a cab driver for Circle Cab Company but threw his cap at his dispatcher one day and said as he stormed out the door, “I’m tired of going around in circles”.
• He is very fond of pastrami.
• His is a Baptist but he has not been to services since August 17, 2011.
• He lives at 2387 Bogus Street in Anaheim next to the Dunkin Donuts.

Homer apologizes again for the sketchy information and returns to his Words With Friends game.

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How good is your memory? Remember the Subject of this blog posting? It was, “Give this guy a job”. I was referring to that San Francisco guy who punched in more than 30,000 bogus calls to San Francisco’s 911 Emergency Service since 2007. He could not possibly have a job. If he had a job, he would not have had time enough to make more than 3,000 bogus calls.

I apologize and must admit that my call to get him a job was not well thought out. Can’t you just see this guy in court in front of a judge after being told the Justice Department had found him a job saying, “Your honor, I thank the court for thinking about me but I don’t want a job. If I had a job, I would not have time to do what I really love to do and that is, of course, make bogus calls to 911 Emergency Service”.

The saddest part is, the judge will probably say, “I see you have a valid point. Case Dismissed”.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(1102)

Lagniappe: If you got this far, you have just read my longest blog posting ever. If you did, and you wish you had not, go back to the beginning and not read what you just read. Use the time saved to do something else. I hope that something else is not making bogus calls to 911.