I Contend That $136,000,000 Is Not A Drop In The Bucket

The Yahoo News article link below reports how changing to Garamond Font will save the Federal Government $136,000,000 (that’s 136 Million Dollars) a year in ink costs. It appears that, now that our Federal Government has become aware of this easy-as-pie way to to save $136,000,000, it has strangely decided not save this $136,000,000.

It seems that the D.C. Bureaucrat who is in charge of rejecting brilliant money saving ideas has said nyeht (a lot of bureaucrats have started using Russian just in case the rumor that Putin is going to be elected our next president turns out to be true).

Also the article goes on to tell us that, if all state governments changed to Garamond Font, their total savings would be $234,000,000 a year.

Benjamin Franklin, (A Penny Saved Is A Penny Earned) is turning over in his grave...

There are reports that the original designer of the Garamond Font Typeface, Mr. Claude Garamond, is pretty dizzy himself...

Yes I did change the font in this blog posting and will change it for all future Foolishness...Or Is Its? to Garamond because, based on the amount of times America prints out my blog postings, they will easily save $1.89 per year in printer ink costs.

Do I see you laughing at me? Hey, mister jolly person, that’s a lot more than a penny.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Click here to see the whole article: http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/sideshow/your-font-is-showing--student-comes-up-with-plan-to-save-u-s--big-bucks-192231144.html

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World Turned Upside Down ... Again

It is a fact of history that, as the surrendering British Troops matched out of Yorktown, their band played a tune entitled, The World Turned Upside Down.

In the times in which we live it appears to be happening again ... over and over. One of the agains involved a Mother in North Carolina who was concerned that the meals provided at her child’s school were starchy, sugary and full of empty calories (sugary cereal, Pop Tarts, pizza, etc.).

She packed a more healthy lunch for her child (carrot sticks, tuna, fresh fruit or other nutritious fare) but the packed lunch was sent home with a note. The note said that school-supplied meals ensured children got nutritious meals and meals from home were not allowed.

I hope you could feel the world turning a bit Upside Down as you read this blog posting.

Where’s that British Band when you need it?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WJKZ-J7VeHs&feature=player_detailpage

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

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CNN News Alert About Lack Of CNN News Alerts

CNN has just issued a very testy News Alert about why they have failed to cover the Atomic Bomb that destroyed New York City 3 days ago...

CNN is always first with the news that is most important to our listeners. You trust us to bring the news. We never have betrayed that trust.

With you in mind we have been covering the Disappearance of Malaysian Flight 370. We have given you every bit of Rumor, Unfounded Speculation, Wild Ass Guess, Uncorroborated Allegation and Water Cooler Scuttlebutt that was out there.

Some have been critical of our around the clock coverage but we have been dedicated to this major news story since it broke 3 weeks ago because we owe it to you our faithful listeners.

We are now coming under criticism because we have failed to mention that atomic bomb that destroyed New York City 3 days ago. Ah come on fellas, what do you want from us? NYC will be rebuilt before you know it.

We are content in the knowledge that one day this unfounded controversy will be forgotten and America will thank us for sticking to our principles and laboring to bring you the stories that we know in our hearts are most important to Our Loyal Listeners.

One final point sure to make our critics shut up and maybe even apologize. In dependent fact checkers have proven that 14% of what we reported concerning Flight 370 was based on Solid Factual Evidence.

Would I or CNN kid u?

Smartfella

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I Just Had A Surprise Visit From Abbott & Costello

Abbott & Costello’s visit was a complete surprise because I was expecting the late Paul Harvey. They told me that Mr. Harvey had to stay behind to try and cheer up God because God has been very depressed lately about what He has wrought...Planet Earth.

It certainly was exciting to see Abbott & Costello standing here talking to me but their reason for coming to see me turned out to be very frustrating for them and, they had to admit, a complete failure.

The reason they came was to explain to me something they knew I was confused about...

Executive Orders that Give the Executive Order Signer Authority to Do What He Already Has the Authority to Do

They sensed my confusion about all of this (they are very good at sensing things up in heaven).

Our President yesterday signed an Executive Order to give himself the authority to impose further sanctions on Russia...

If he has the Executive Power to do something like this, why does he have to sign a piece of paper to give himself the authority to do what he must already have the authority to already do because he obviously has the authority to give himself the authority because he authorized himself to do it?

I sense you are confused and I’m not in heaven yet...

In other words, if he did not have the authority to do what he authorizes himself to do, he need not authorize himself to do it, therefore, why bother doing it?

I’m glad I took the time to clarify that for you.

Would it not save a lot of ink and paper to just sign an Executive Order to do whatever he wants to do?

If he gave himself the authority to do whatever he wants to do, it would also save a lot of Ceremonial Signing Time which is always a requirement when they sign things in Washington D.C.

I am now sensing that you are confused about what exactly Ceremonial Signing Times is. Please allow me to clarify...

Ceremonial Signing Time is where they gather all those Senators and Congressmen to stand behind the President while he signs all those things he signs.

Let’s face it, these Stand-Behind People, if they did not have to be standing behind, could get on with doing important things. Certainly they have important things to do...Or do they?

Actually Abbott & Costello got so confused they launched into their Who's On First Routine, which they said was easier to understand.

I had to agree with them, it was easier to understand.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

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You Have Always Dreamed About Doing This & Now, Thanks To Me, You Can See Your Dream Come True

I know that you have always wanted to go to New Orleans, buy a home and rent it out to tourists. It is amazing how I know these things but I just do. It’s a gift.

I and almost all of my family (18 of 20) just got back from 3 days in a rented house in New Orleans celebrating our 50 Year Wedding Anniversary. It was great!

I would have rented your house, if you had already bought it and had it available for me but you have been holding back and I know why. You have been worried about all those Electronic Connections you would have to set up to make your property acceptable for a modern home rental prospect (stereo system, wireless internet, television, security system, etc.).

Worry no more. I have taken the picture below of the electrical connections in my rented New Orleans house. Look at the picture and just do the same in your rental house and you will have lots of tourists with money in their hands lining up to make you rich.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

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They Want Us To Worry About Everything

As instructed, we have been worrying ever since 2008 about the Housing Construction Shortage in the Good Ole USofA. Now that housing construction has started to pick up, my TV is telling me that I should be concerned because there is a Skilled Labor Shortage and that this dire shortage is putting the housing recovery in serious jeopardy.

I have determined that I am not going to worry about the above. I am much more concerned about the real possibility that one of those hideously tattooed NBA Basketball Players might run in to me at the grocery store and that parts of his hideous tattoos might be transferred to my up-until-that-point pristine body.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

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