We Have A National Obligation To Encourage & Support The Use Of Electric Cars

This posting is about cars. I say that upfront because I am forewarning you that I know what I am talking about in this one. I am a retired Automotive Executive and I was much respected in my rise to the height of my mediocre career. Accept what I am imparting to you in this Foolishness Posting because I know cars

Electric Cars apparently have a range of 40 miles. This is very limiting for the Electric Car Owners but Electric Cars are important. They save trees or icebergs or other such things. We all have to do our part to help the Electric Car Buyers out wherever we can.

If one of us is patriotic enough to buy an Electric Car, anyone who is a friend of said Electric Car Owner should be required by Federal Law to sell his house, if it is more than 40 miles away from the Electric Car owner’s house, and move to within 40 miles of the Electric Car Owner’s house.

Once the distance has been reduced to 40 miles or less, the Electric Car Patriot will be free to go over for a visit anytime he wants to socialize with any one of his friends.

It goes without saying that the visited friend should allow the Electric Car Patriot to charge his vehicle during the socializing so his patriotic friend can get back home.

Would I kid u?

There Must Be A Better Example Of Tax Money Being Wasted ... Or Is There?

Can you believe it? A wasteful federal program has been defunded.

Up until recently the Good Ole USofA has been spending $20,000,000 to beam Sesame Street throughout Pakistan.

The good news is we have just saved $13,300,000. The bad news is we saved $13,300,000 because $6,700,000 has already been spent on this project.

The funding was cancelled because of corruption and misappropriation of funds by the man in charge of the Sesame Street Project in Pakistan. It appears that he was doing such things as...

• Paying off old personal debts.
• Giving lucrative contracts to friends, relatives and/or people who kicked back monies to him.
• Building himself a fancy residential complex.

When Senator Foghorn Leghorn was informed of the kinds of things that stopped the remainder of the $13,300,000 from going to Pakistan he said, “What’s wrong with that?”

Would I kid u?

I Support Violence!

The “I” above is not the Smartfella. That “I” belongs those among us who defend violence when it is committed by people who think the way the defenders of violence think we all ought to think.

Now that I have you completely confused, I will peck on...

The Freedom from Union Violence Act was proposed in both the House of Representatives and the Senate and was passed unanimously in each chamber within minutes.

The above paragraph is not true. It ought to be true but it is not true and the bill has never passed.

The Smartfella does not claim to have all the answers (or does he?) and he admits this is one of those times he is completely baffled.

From Wikipedia...

The Freedom from Union Violence Act of 1997[1] and 2007[2] were identical bills proposed in the United States Congress. Their intended purpose was to amend the Hobbs Act and make violence committed in pursuit of labor union goals a federal crime.

You read correctly. The Freedom from Union Violence Act is not new because it was first proposed 15 years ago. It was again proposed 5 years ago.

The bills faced strong opposition from labor unions and others and failed to pass into law both times.

Just when I get to the point where I think I know what a No Brainer is, I find out that there are No Brainers out there that prove to me that I know nothing about No Brainers.

Would I kid u?

Me Going Places and Them Getting Carried Away

I recently enrolled in a Rewards Program for a National Hotel Chain. I received a Welcome Letter that is so full of adjectives it appears to have been written to a very important person and, since it was addressed to me, I must be a very important person.

In it the hotel chain’s Letter Writer really got carried away …  Catch a ball game in Chicago. Go to the opera in Vienna. Eat blowfish in Tokyo.

It is mind boggling to realize that I am getting all of these wonderful trips around the world simply because I have a new piece of plastic in my wallet!

I don’t know what kinds of trips make you happy but I am really looking forward to eating that blowfish in Tokyo.

Don’t worry about missing out on my blogging while I am away. I believe I am safe in saying that Chicago, Vienna and Tokyo all have the World Wide Web. I’ll stay in touch.

Would I kid u?

NOTE: Don’t blame me… BlogSpot (Google) is responsible for those ads at the bottom of my Foolishness.

John Wayne Is Dead

Please note the Gadget on the left called “Share it”.

If you are entertained by this Foolishness (or one in the future), use “Share it” to tell your friends or enemies about it on Facebook or Twitter.

This Blog Posting is coming to you from one of my Ruts (I’ve blogged about this before). The Rut under discussion here is the Feminization of Men.
We once had John Wayne to lead us. Now we are the stupid one in television commercials, our “heroes” in movies have to always have a three day growth of beard (so we will be sure they are males) and we are told that we ought to carry Man Bags (used to be called purses) to hold our stuff.
I will now bring this Foolishness…Or Is It? Rant to an abrupt end and use pictures to prove my point. Below you will find three pictures from a recent four day Fashion Event in London.
If a picture is worth a thousand words, these three pictures shout from the rooftops...

Case Closed...Point Proven...End of Discussion

It is not possible to picture John Wayne in one of these outfits.
I wish I were kidding you.

Fat Thieves Are Now A World-Wide Concern

The profession of Thievery has a real problem. They are all getting fat.

There was a time when thieves would put on their masks and go out to commit crimes. They had to run from the police. They had to jump over fences. They had to do a lot of crouching down low and sneaking around.

All this physical activity led to a healthy lifestyle that resulted in our thieves being a very fit lot. In fact, they never went to a gym at all unless they went there to burglarize it.

Now they just sit at their computers and create scam emails, send them out and wait for the money to come rolling in. It is hard for many people to resist a plea for money from a Kazakhstanian who has a child born with no hands who stutters and has one functioning kidney that is on the verge of failing because Kazakhstan’s drinking water is saturated with quitanian crystals from the BP Oil Spill.

It has been reported that Mayor Bloomberg recently received one of these email solicitations for donations and he became very alarmed.

Actually he is not concerned about the child’s kidney problem. He became alarmed when an aide told him about the weight problem of the scammers.

He immediately called his advisors into emergency session to formulate a plan of action to reduce scammers’ weight in New York City and is hoping that the world will follow his lead.

My sources tell me that he and his advisors have zeroed in on the sugary cup size ordered by scammers in NYC’s fast food restaurants. At this time they have all agreed that scammers will be required to show their Internet Scammer/Thief Association Membership Card and then they will be limited to a 2 ounce cup.

That ought to do it. What clear thinking person could object to this approach?

Would I kid u?

Our Education System Is Making Students More Dumb

The first time I saw a news article about someone Texting While Driving I honestly thought that our News Media was sensationalizing again.

I said to myself, “Self, there they go again. They found the only person stupid enough to Text While Driving and put that dummy into their newspaper just so we would spend a nickel to buy a newspaper to read all about it.”

Now I find out that there is more than that one dumb person in the country. In fact, our Department of Transportation is calling Texting While Driving a National Epidemic...and it is getting worse.

43% of our high school juniors admit they text while driving

After another year of being educated in our high schools...

58% of our high school seniors admit they text while driving

I’m sure glad someone had the foresight to invent higher education. Our colleges and universities will fix this problem for sure...Or will they?

Would I kid u?

Pristine City Parks Or Bust!

Why do we say “or bust” in statements similar to the Subject Line of this Foolishness...Or Is It? After I pecked “or bust” above I decided to look up the etymology of the term.

After looking the etymology of the term up I decided to forget what I looked up because you really don’t care about what Mr. Etymology has to say, do you?

Wow! Talk about getting off on the wrong track with this Blog Posting! I am here and now officially changing the subject of this Blog Posting to...

Is Pristine All It’s Cracked Up To Be?

We are all familiar with public officials, bureaucrats, do-gooders or nosey people trying to protect us from evil. In the area where I live, we are very close to banning Tobacco from all City Parks.

That probably did not strike you as that unusual but take note that I said “Tobacco” not simply the “Smoking of Tobacco”.

My fellow citizens are about to ban Smoking and Dipping Snuff and the Chewing of Tobacco. The public officials, bureaucrats, do-gooders or nosey people behind this sweeping action have stated...

Our goal is to provide pristine facilities for our young people.

This tobacco banning thing got its start in the 1960s. I was OK with that but the movement went off the deep end when someone invented Second-Hand Smoke. I used to lie awake at night fearing Second-Hand Smoke.

My fear turned into thinking (another endangered American trait). I thought such things as, “Did I hear that right? Did that guy really tell me today that breathing in someone else’s dissipated and exhaled smoke was worse than dragging that filthy stuff into my lungs direct from a cigarette, letting it swish around in there for a bit and spewing it out through my nose?”

I understand that my local public officials are worried about protecting our children from breathing in someone else’s exhaust because they genuinely fear Second Hand Smoke. What I don’t understand is their concern that our children are going to have second-hand snuff jump into their little noses. How is someone else’s chaw, that was once stuffed between someone else’s cheek and gum, going to get between our precious little one’s cheeks and gums? These kinds of things are just not going to happen.

Mr. Merriam and Mr. Webster tell me that Pristine means “not spoiled, corrupted, or polluted”. That means to be truly Pristine they want us to avoid such things as...Many Modern American Children, Our Congress and the rivers in the Good Ole USofA.

Sometimes I think I am getting pessimistic but actually I’m really too cynical for that to happen.

Would I kid u?

Species Expansion & Endangered Species

My father owned a corner grocery store. There used to be lots of corner grocery stores. My grandfather owned 3 of them (did not operate them but rented them out). His 3 rented stores were located within a 4 block area. Did I say there used to be lots of them?

My father could have been rich if he had known how to properly price his Cheez-Its.

I don’t mean to be critical of him but he sold his boxes of Cheez-Its for 19 cents. If he had sold them for the $3.14 they are being sold for today, his family could have been wealthy.

I guess he did alright because he did put my brother and me through college and we owned a 1951 Desoto but I always wished he had not traded in his 1941 Packard.

I am certain that all of you see the absolutely unassailable logic of my premise that he was Pricing Maximization Challenged, so now I will get into today’s Foolishness..Or Is It?.

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Cheez-Its used to come in one flavor. It was called Cheese Flavored. Some called it Cheez-It Flavored. Today we are covered up in different flavors or varieties of products that once came in one color, one size, one flavor, etc.

Today “they” (whoever “they” are) keep pumping out different versions of their products and we keep buying up their “new” offerings. I once heard an acquaintance of mine say, “I have 2 laptops but I don’t have a blue one”. (You probably think I made this one up but I did not...Or did I?)

Back to Cheez-Its...

Cheez-Its now come in many different flavors, sizes and combinations. My local Publix has darn near an entire aisle devoted to Cheez-Its. If you are intending to purchase Cheez-Its during any visit to this store, it can be a dizzying and confusing experience. Here is what I saw the other day...

The Original Flavor (but it was hard to find), White Cheddar, Scrabble Junior, Colby, Mozzarella, Baby Swiss, Italian Four Cheese, Reduced Fat, Reduced Fat with Cheddar, Cars, Big (original) and Big (Monterey Jack), Hot & Spicy, Pepper Jack, 2 different DUOZ (2 flavors in one box), Cheddar Jack, Whole Grain, Snack Mix, Snack Mix Double Cheese, 12 Pack Boxes of Small Bags and Various Larger Family Size Boxes.

And Sunshine’s Web Site tells me they come in many sizes:

6 ct/3 oz, 2 oz vend, 4.5 oz, 2 ct/24 oz, 3 oz, 2 ct/9 oz, 9 oz, 21 oz, 13.7 oz, 7 oz

I feel fairly certain that the Cheez-Its Rep is constantly browbeating my Publix Manager about getting more shelf space so he can win that trip to Hawaii his wife is browbeating him about winning.

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Now for the Endangered Species part of the above subject of this Foolishness...Or Is It. It has to do with Politics.

In Politics, historically, there have always been two kinds of Politician. There was the Honest Politician and there was the Dishonest Politician. I’ll leave it up to you to decide which one is the Endangered Species.

Would I kid u?