I Thought They Were Bike Riding Robots

 

I just looked out the front door of my cute little house and saw 2 Bike Riding Robots going by...Or were they Bike Riding Robots?

I fell off my bikes dozens of times when I was a Little Fella and not one single time did I die. I feel certain if I were to say this to a Modern Parent, I would be verbally attacked for my Systemic Ignorance.

Yes, I know “systemic” does not quite fit into the above sentence but darn near everything is Systemic these days so I stuck it in.

Actually I think it looks pretty good where I stuck it. I sort of look like I am In The Know or maybe even Woke but I’m not sure about Woke because I am yet to figure out what that means. Maybe I would have been better off if I had used Systemically Woke.

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Let’s get back to the Verbal Attack on me by the horrified Modern Parent. Such an attack would sound somewhat like this...

Oh yea, Mr. Smarty Pants, (at this point I would be thinking she seems to know who I am) don’t you know that hundreds of thousands of un-helmeted innocent children are injured in this county every year because their un-caring parents do not love them enough to make their darling children wear a helmet on their darling heads when they venture out on bicycles! I know this hundreds of thousands number is true because I saw it on the Internet!

Allow me to take a step back. Did I say anything about the Pads? I apologize but I forgot to mention the Pads. I would not have said anything to the Modern Parent if the Bike Riding Robots were only wearing Helmets.

The reason these 2 Darlings looked like Bike Riding Robots was because they both had Elbow Pads secured to their Darling Elbows and Knee Pads secured to their Darling Knees and Wrist Pads secured to their Darling Wrists.

I know you are not the Noticer that I am but I bet you would have noticed these Darling Children struggling to ride their bikes while wearing Helmets and Elbow Pads and Knee Pads and Wrist Pads.

I fear these Darling Children are going to grow up without ever experiencing the wonder of scraping some part of their Darling Bodies, seeing that scrap turn into a scab and (the most wonderful part) seeing the scab dry up and fall off their Darling Bodies bit by bit.

It is quite possible that the Injure and Healing Process might never befall them until they are in their 30’s.

If you have been watching your TV since the Summer Olympics, you already know what’s coming next...

When they suffer their first scraping injury they are going to develop Mental Health Issues!

The Psychologists of the future are going to make a fortune!

Would I kid u?

Smartfella