What Shortage?

It seems only a few days ago that there was a Shortage of Hand Sanitizer in all our stores. Now there are Hand Sanitizer Displays all over our stores, not just in the drug departments.

Do you remember what it was like...?

• Hand Sanitizer Seekers were dashing about the stores with frightened looks on their faces searching for Hand Sanitizer Bottles.
• After you got tired of looking, if you asked a store employee for Hand Sanitizer, they laughed in your face and pointed you out to their fellow associates (formerly known as "employees") who also laughed at you.
• Everyone was going onto the Internet and ordering these huge bottles of Hand Sanitizer that arrived and turned out to be a lot smaller than they looked in the picture on the Internet but the price remained huge.
• You got mad. You thought about returning the little bottles you thought were going to be big bottles but you feared they were the last bottles you would ever see in your lifetime and, if you did return them, the manufacturers would get mad at you and ban you from buying their even smaller bottles at even higher prices in the future.
• Early on when, you did find Hand Sanitizer in a store, fellow shoppers were stealing them out of your basket while you were on your hands and knees looking to see if any bottles had fallen on the floor behind the empty display basket.
• The stores would only allow you to buy 2 High Priced Small Bottles. I followed a High Priced Small Bottle Purchaser out of a store and watched as he put his High Priced Small Bottles in his car. He then put on a fake mustache and headed back into the store.
• I looked into this car after he had gone back into the store and saw a plethora of mustaches, wigs, hats, big sun glasses and masks of Elmer Fudd, Rocky Balboa and Al Gore.

Have I ever lied to you when I did not tell you I was lying to you? What I am about to tell you is going to make you think I am lying to you while not telling you I am lying to you.

I passed a major grocery store yesterday where a sign company had its big crane out front and they were removing “Grocery Store” and changing it to “Hand Sanitizer Store”.

Ok, I am now telling you I just lied to you...Or did I?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella