You Understand What I Said Even If I Did Not Say It...Or Do You?

Elliptical Sentence:

In the grammar of a sentence, an elliptical construction is a construction that lacks an element that is, nevertheless, recoverable or inferable from the context. The elliptical construction is a sequence of words in which some words have been omitted. Because of the logic or pattern of the entire sentence, it is easy to infer what the missing words are.

Would you like an example of modern usage of an Elliptical Sentence? I have one for you. The bullets below set it up. I did the underlining...

• U.S. Representative Michael Grimm (R) of New York has pleaded guilty to Federal Felony Tax Charges.
• However, following his guilty plea he said he will not resign.
• He said, “As long as I’m able to serve, I’m going to”.
• He noted he easily won a third term in November despite a 20-count federal indictment unveiled last April.
• He pleaded guilty to aiding the preparation of a false tax return in connection with a health food restaurant he co-owned before his political career.
• He said in court, “While operating a restaurant, we underestimated the gross receipts and used some of the money to pay employees off the books and some other expenses”.
• As part of a plea deal Grimm, whose trial had been scheduled for February, also signed a statement of facts, admitting to concealing over $900,000 in gross receipts from 2007 to 2010 and lying during a 2013 deposition.

Here is my Elliptical Sentence. The Inferred Part is in brackets:

I will not resign (because everyone else in Congress does this kind of thing).

The Fella can see his point. Why should he be the only one to do the honorable thing? Why should he be held to a higher standard? That’s just asking too much.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(322)

Recalling A Holiday Bit Of Foolishness From The Past

Back by popular demand (a couple of dear readers) I bring you a holiday money making Idea from 5 years ago.

Even though this was a sure-fire money maker, where I offered my dear readers the opportunity to invest with The Fella, I still find it hard to believe that no one send me any investment cash.

Click here...   http://forii.blogspot.com/2009/11/grandmanearyoucom.html

Would I kid u again?

Smartfella

(76)

Merry Christmas...Or is it?

This is from One Single Page of my newspaper today 12/24/14...

• France steps up patrols after spate of attacks.
• Canadian found guilty of dismembering Chinese student.
• 60 journalists killed in 2014.
• Officials order Ohio man to take down zombie Nativity scene.
• NY protesters reject plea for hiatus.
• U.S. Rep. Grimm won’t resign after tax fraud.
• Coke to cut up to 2,000 jobs in coming weeks.
• FBI warns of ISIS threat to bridge.
• Fla. Police hunt for shooters who injured nine.

Oh well, maybe it will be all better by New Years Day...Or will it?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(113)

There Is No Doubt He Did It But...

This one is going to be very involved but stay with it. I know you can handle it.

Here are the facts...

• We have in my neck of the woods a Former Boy Scout Leader who is accused of sexually molesting Boy Scouts.
• He was arrested in July 2008.
• A total of 17 children have come forward to accuse him.
• Included in the 17 are his own children.
• Evidence shows that the accused sexually molested the children, took inappropriate pictures of them & many of them were rendered unconscious.
• The molestations took place over a period of 13 years (1995 to 2008).
• The case has been winding its way through our Crack Judicial System.
• He has had many lawyers.
• Eight different judges have recused themselves from the case.

This convoluted court journey ended on December 18, 2014... At least it temporarily ended...

• The current defense lawyer agreed to a Bench Trial (no jury...just a judge).
• The judge found the Boy Scout Leader guilty on 31 of 32 indictments.
• He has been sentenced to 2 Life Sentences plus 10 years (only a lawyer can understand this).
• The defense did not challenge the validity of the state’s case but did not plead guilty either (only a lawyer can understand this).
• This means he did not admit he committed a crime but he admitted to all the facts that constitute the crime (only a lawyer can understand this).

Here is the legal maneuvering that made the use of the word “temporarily” above meaningful...

• On two occasions, there have been attempts made to get the Court of Appeals to review rulings that had previously been made on several pretrial motions.
• The Court of Appeals has declined to review these rulings until after trial.
• The Current Defense Lawyer agreed to the bench trial in an effort to find the most efficient way of bringing this case to the Court of Appeals.
• The Current Defense Lawyer says he is confident that he will prevail on appeal and they will return for a jury trial in the upcoming year.
• If Our Boy Scout Leader had pleaded guilty, he would have waived his right to appeal.

Here is the awful part of what happens in our Judicial System...

The Defense Lawyers delayed, obfuscated, objected and appealed for all these years (arrested in 2008) & the referenced “pretrial motions” have to do with Constitutional Speedy Trial Claims.

In other words, they delayed the proceedings so that they could later claim that the proceeding had been delayed.

Justice Delayed Is Justice Denied... We have met the enemy & he is us.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(492)

Lagniappe: After this guy gets acquitted he will probably sue for Unjustifiable Removal from His Boy Scout Leader Position &, of course, Mental Anguish & Pain & Suffering.

More Unassailable Logic From The Smartfella

Here I go again. I can’t help myself. I am determined to fix what’s wrong with the Good Ole USofA through the use of Common Sense & Logic.

The Secret Service was once one of the most respected organizations in this country. Now it appears to be a hollow facade of Bumblers & Incompetents but fear not because the Fella is coming to the rescue.

Back in September an intruder breached the White House itself. Here is what happened...

• He jumped the White House fence.
• He ran across its big lawn.
• He entered into the White House itself.
• He ran through several rooms.
• He was finally tackled & subdued by an Off Duty Secret Service Agent.
• The security breach triggered a rare evacuation of much of the White House, with Secret Service officers drawing their guns as they rushed staffers and journalists out a side door.

There are the facts. The Fix is there right in front of you. What you don’t see it? I’ll even give you a hint. The fix is in the fifth bullet above.

Oh my gosh! I can’t believe you can’t see the obvious solution to the Secret Service’s many problems!

OK, I’ve waited long enough. You are going to feel silly when I tell you...

We Need To Hire A Whole Bunch Of New Off Duty Secret Service Agents!

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(243)

Everyone In My Neck Of The Woods Is All Excited!

Another Subject Title Of This Posting Could Be... The Most Anticipated After Picture in the History of Before & After Pictures

Calling on my unerring ability to see the future, I predict that the After Picture referred to above will never happen. Please read through this posting until the end to see my irrefutable logic.

First the reason for the excitement...

Krispy Kreme Is Opening a New Store

It is going to be absolute chaos! The Krispy people have set up a bunch of yummy giveaways to ensure that the chaos is chaotic to the nth degree (whatever that means).

On opening day...

• The first person in line will receive a free dozen original glazed doughnuts every week for a year.
• Customers 2 through 100 will receive a free dozen original glazed doughnuts every month for a year.

My prediction is directed at lucky customer #1. As stated in the opening paragraph of this blog posting, I predict that the After Picture will never happen because somewhere between weeks #48 & #51, before that picture can be taken, customer #1 will explode. The only evidence that he ever existed will be his gooey shoes.

Did I hear some of you question why the shoes would remain after such a horrific explosion? Allow me to explain...

Ever since I put the late Albert Einstein’s picture in my Foolishness Office, he has been paying me visits on a regular basis. He does this because no one else appears to know who he is...was. Simply stated, the man is lonely.

He explained to me that the reason the shoes would remain intact is, when things explode, they Blow Up not Down &, obviously, his shoes are down.

Who am I (or you) to question his opinion on this? This man knows all about explosions.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(319)

This Blog Posting Is Apolitical

At first blush those of you who lean to the Left may take this Blog Posting to be an attack on politicians you support. If this is what you see, you are not seeing what I am attempting to point out. Please read slowly.

This is not a Left/Right Diatribe. This is my way of pointing out that our 9% Approval Rated Congress is obsessed with spending money. Their mindset is more akin to... If we spend a lot we have done a lot.

Here is my Apolitical Thinking...

If the Fella had read that Congress had spent $100,000 on their "Torture Report" he probably would have said, "Why did you spend such a large amount of money? What is wrong with you guys? You are obsessed with spending for the sake of spending!"

This indignation proves The Fella has no understanding of the ability of Congress to open our wallets.

The actual number spent by our Drunken Sailor 9% Approval Rated Congress on this report was $40,000,000!!!

Because of my past attempts to educate you, my dear readers, I know you know how much $1,000,000 is but, for the sake of those new to my Blog's Wisdom, I'll lay it out again...

A million is a thousand thousand.

By spending Forty Million Dollars our duly elected Congress has spent...

Forty Thousand Thousand Dollars

It seems to me that 100 thousand dollars ought to be more than enough to spend on any investigation.

Senator Foghorn Leghorn has been looking over my shoulder as I peck this posting out & he has just become agitated at what I am saying. He finally said, "Son, why son, forty ain't much! Hell, forty is not even fifty. Everyone knows fifty is a lot more than forty. If we had spent fifty, you might have a point, son, but you are just being picky, son! You ought to use your excellent communication skill to do something of more importance like getting Postal Workers to Smile Once a Day!"

The Senator really means well & actually is a reasonable fellow. He saw the look of anguish on my face when I contemplated the impossibility of trying to get a postal worker to smile. In an effort to show his compassion, he quickly changed my assignment, "Son, why son, I feel your pain. I'll give you an easier task. Why don't you get the Mississippi River to change course & flow out to California? They need the water out there."

He saw the relief of my face as I realized my new assignment was much easier. We both felt better.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(496)

Lagniappe: I often make reference to Senator Foghorn Leghorn. If you don’t know who he is, click below. Watch as much as you can stand...

Foghorn Leghorn Rants

(Issue: It might take a minute for the picture to appear after the sound starts. If so, click the refresh button. Heck if I know what the problem is.)

Understanding The Logic Behind Congressional Inner Workings

I am certain that your excitement is at a fever pitch about the promise contained in the Subject of this Blog Posting. I am excited also.

Yesterday I was watching a House of Representatives Hearing. The Chairman in his introductory remarks said the following, “All Members Will Have Seven Days to Submit Opening Statements For The Record”.

Did I just hear some of you say that his statement about Opening Statement confuses you? It seems to be pretty straight forward to me.

Sometimes I am at a loss for words to understand why my dear readers do not understand what they do not understand. You are obviously intelligent because you are smart enough to read my foolishness but many times you just can’t understand plain English!

Please allow me to allow me to explain in the simplest wording I can put together. In this context...

• “Opening” refers to the beginning.
• “Seven Days” means anywhere from 24 hours to 168 hours after the beginning.

Now I am confused! Is the Chairman telling us that committee members can actually tailor their Opening Comments about the committee hearing after having the benefit of reading the testimony of what actually transpired in the committee hearing?

I would not be surprised if these Opening Statements are really Forward Thinking.

Would they kid u?

Smartfella

(284)

Lagniappe: Regarding the promise I made in the Subject of this Blog Posting. I must admit I can’t live up to that lofty commitment. I meant well but I have failed and, as they say in Congress, “I sincerely apologize for my shortcomings. That having been said & duly recorded, let’s go to Happy Hour.”

We Have Moved Beyond Good News & Bad News. Now We Have Bad News & Worse News.

The Bad News

A small child asks his Father a question in the not-too-distant future... “I really like this Holiday Season. I especially like all the presents I get on December 25. I really thank you for the Ray Gun you gave me this year. It is going to be a blast to shoot especially since there is now a law that says I can incinerate people with spaces between their front teeth.”

“The Holiday Season is so special! How did the Holiday Season originate?”

The Worse News

The Father says to his Small Child, “I don’t know”.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(151)

Lagniappe: It would be even worse if the Father had said, “I don’t know. I anticipated your asking this question so I Googled it but Google did not know either”.

Is It My Fault That I Have An Uncanny Ability To See The Obvious?

I originally wrote this Blog Posting on January 29, 2010. I have sent it out before as a reminder of how obviously smart I am about the obvious. Now I am doing it again because it is obvious that our 9% Approval Rated Congress is not reading my Foolishness.

I must correct the above sentence. Actually I have it from my sources in Washington, D.C. that many of them are reading my silliness. This makes the future prospects look even worse for the Good Ole USofA. They are reading the Fella’s Foolishness yet they are ignoring the obvious.

I have often said, “If the horse is dead, get off the horse”. If I truly believe that, why am I sending this 2010 piece of wisdom out again? Simply stated I am a Patriot & I keep hoping that one day our 9% Approval Rated Congress will all shout in one voice, “By golly, the Smartfella ain’t stupid!”

Yes, Dear Reader, our duly elected Congress is about to raise the Debt Limit again...

http://forii.blogspot.com/2010/01/what-does-word-limit-mean-to-you.html

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(193)

Who Can Be Opposed To A Caboose?

There is a town next to the town I live in called Suwanee. It is a nice place, well organized & many times has gotten national recognition as a great place to live.

That being said, it appears to me Suwanee is a town that has been Amucked, as in Political Correctness is Running Amuck over there.

This is the time of year when the Lighting of the Christmas Tree used to be on the calendars of communities all over the Good Ole USofA. They did not even have to be Nice Places nor Well Organized nor Recognized to have a Christmas Tree Lighting Ceremony.

This is not the case anymore & not even in Nice Well Organized Recognized Suwanee, GA.

Announcing...

Suwanee’s Jolly Holly-day Celebration

(Formerly the Old Town Holiday Festival & Caboose Lighting)

Yes, Dear Readers, Suwanee is about to light up a Caboose because Who Can Be Opposed To A Caboose? Cabooses are so Correct.

I will never forget the caller to a Radio Talk Show who was objecting to a Manger Scene in front of his City Hall. If you are thinking he was objecting based on Separation of Church & State Grounds you would be wrong in thinking that. He said he was objecting because every time he drove past the Manger Scene he Felt Threatened.

I wonder if there is actually a Christmas Tree over in a dark corner of Suwanee Town Center with a sign on it saying, “Do not look at this relic of the past. If you do look, you might feel threatened”.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(275)

The Dictionary Is A Living & Dying Book

Words come into our English Dictionary all the time...

• Dis... To treat with disrespect. To be rude.
• Humblebrag... An ostensibly modest or self-deprecating statement whose actual purpose is to draw attention to something of which one is proud.
• Amazeballs... Extremely good or impressive; amazing.

Being sly, cunning and alert, the Smartfella has taken note of some words or phrases that are going out of usage. They are still in the dictionary but it won’t be long before they will be stricken...

• Vulgar or Profane... Hardly anything is Vulgar or Profane today.
• Respect... It just does not have much of a place in the today’s Self-Centered Good Ole USofA.
• Politeness... Yes, Sir ... No, Sir ... Yes, Mam ... No, Mam. These all sound sort of silly to too many of us.

That’s progress... Or is it?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(156)