You Understand What I Said Even If I Did Not Say It...Or Do You?

Elliptical Sentence:

In the grammar of a sentence, an elliptical construction is a construction that lacks an element that is, nevertheless, recoverable or inferable from the context. The elliptical construction is a sequence of words in which some words have been omitted. Because of the logic or pattern of the entire sentence, it is easy to infer what the missing words are.

Would you like an example of modern usage of an Elliptical Sentence? I have one for you. The bullets below set it up. I did the underlining...

• U.S. Representative Michael Grimm (R) of New York has pleaded guilty to Federal Felony Tax Charges.
• However, following his guilty plea he said he will not resign.
• He said, “As long as I’m able to serve, I’m going to”.
• He noted he easily won a third term in November despite a 20-count federal indictment unveiled last April.
• He pleaded guilty to aiding the preparation of a false tax return in connection with a health food restaurant he co-owned before his political career.
• He said in court, “While operating a restaurant, we underestimated the gross receipts and used some of the money to pay employees off the books and some other expenses”.
• As part of a plea deal Grimm, whose trial had been scheduled for February, also signed a statement of facts, admitting to concealing over $900,000 in gross receipts from 2007 to 2010 and lying during a 2013 deposition.

Here is my Elliptical Sentence. The Inferred Part is in brackets:

I will not resign (because everyone else in Congress does this kind of thing).

The Fella can see his point. Why should he be the only one to do the honorable thing? Why should he be held to a higher standard? That’s just asking too much.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(322)

Recalling A Holiday Bit Of Foolishness From The Past

Back by popular demand (a couple of dear readers) I bring you a holiday money making Idea from 5 years ago.

Even though this was a sure-fire money maker, where I offered my dear readers the opportunity to invest with The Fella, I still find it hard to believe that no one send me any investment cash.

Click here...   http://forii.blogspot.com/2009/11/grandmanearyoucom.html

Would I kid u again?

Smartfella

(76)

Merry Christmas...Or is it?

This is from One Single Page of my newspaper today 12/24/14...

• France steps up patrols after spate of attacks.
• Canadian found guilty of dismembering Chinese student.
• 60 journalists killed in 2014.
• Officials order Ohio man to take down zombie Nativity scene.
• NY protesters reject plea for hiatus.
• U.S. Rep. Grimm won’t resign after tax fraud.
• Coke to cut up to 2,000 jobs in coming weeks.
• FBI warns of ISIS threat to bridge.
• Fla. Police hunt for shooters who injured nine.

Oh well, maybe it will be all better by New Years Day...Or will it?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(113)

There Is No Doubt He Did It But...

This one is going to be very involved but stay with it. I know you can handle it.

Here are the facts...

• We have in my neck of the woods a Former Boy Scout Leader who is accused of sexually molesting Boy Scouts.
• He was arrested in July 2008.
• A total of 17 children have come forward to accuse him.
• Included in the 17 are his own children.
• Evidence shows that the accused sexually molested the children, took inappropriate pictures of them & many of them were rendered unconscious.
• The molestations took place over a period of 13 years (1995 to 2008).
• The case has been winding its way through our Crack Judicial System.
• He has had many lawyers.
• Eight different judges have recused themselves from the case.

This convoluted court journey ended on December 18, 2014... At least it temporarily ended...

• The current defense lawyer agreed to a Bench Trial (no jury...just a judge).
• The judge found the Boy Scout Leader guilty on 31 of 32 indictments.
• He has been sentenced to 2 Life Sentences plus 10 years (only a lawyer can understand this).
• The defense did not challenge the validity of the state’s case but did not plead guilty either (only a lawyer can understand this).
• This means he did not admit he committed a crime but he admitted to all the facts that constitute the crime (only a lawyer can understand this).

Here is the legal maneuvering that made the use of the word “temporarily” above meaningful...

• On two occasions, there have been attempts made to get the Court of Appeals to review rulings that had previously been made on several pretrial motions.
• The Court of Appeals has declined to review these rulings until after trial.
• The Current Defense Lawyer agreed to the bench trial in an effort to find the most efficient way of bringing this case to the Court of Appeals.
• The Current Defense Lawyer says he is confident that he will prevail on appeal and they will return for a jury trial in the upcoming year.
• If Our Boy Scout Leader had pleaded guilty, he would have waived his right to appeal.

Here is the awful part of what happens in our Judicial System...

The Defense Lawyers delayed, obfuscated, objected and appealed for all these years (arrested in 2008) & the referenced “pretrial motions” have to do with Constitutional Speedy Trial Claims.

In other words, they delayed the proceedings so that they could later claim that the proceeding had been delayed.

Justice Delayed Is Justice Denied... We have met the enemy & he is us.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(492)

Lagniappe: After this guy gets acquitted he will probably sue for Unjustifiable Removal from His Boy Scout Leader Position &, of course, Mental Anguish & Pain & Suffering.

More Unassailable Logic From The Smartfella

Here I go again. I can’t help myself. I am determined to fix what’s wrong with the Good Ole USofA through the use of Common Sense & Logic.

The Secret Service was once one of the most respected organizations in this country. Now it appears to be a hollow facade of Bumblers & Incompetents but fear not because the Fella is coming to the rescue.

Back in September an intruder breached the White House itself. Here is what happened...

• He jumped the White House fence.
• He ran across its big lawn.
• He entered into the White House itself.
• He ran through several rooms.
• He was finally tackled & subdued by an Off Duty Secret Service Agent.
• The security breach triggered a rare evacuation of much of the White House, with Secret Service officers drawing their guns as they rushed staffers and journalists out a side door.

There are the facts. The Fix is there right in front of you. What you don’t see it? I’ll even give you a hint. The fix is in the fifth bullet above.

Oh my gosh! I can’t believe you can’t see the obvious solution to the Secret Service’s many problems!

OK, I’ve waited long enough. You are going to feel silly when I tell you...

We Need To Hire A Whole Bunch Of New Off Duty Secret Service Agents!

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(243)

Everyone In My Neck Of The Woods Is All Excited!

Another Subject Title Of This Posting Could Be... The Most Anticipated After Picture in the History of Before & After Pictures

Calling on my unerring ability to see the future, I predict that the After Picture referred to above will never happen. Please read through this posting until the end to see my irrefutable logic.

First the reason for the excitement...

Krispy Kreme Is Opening a New Store

It is going to be absolute chaos! The Krispy people have set up a bunch of yummy giveaways to ensure that the chaos is chaotic to the nth degree (whatever that means).

On opening day...

• The first person in line will receive a free dozen original glazed doughnuts every week for a year.
• Customers 2 through 100 will receive a free dozen original glazed doughnuts every month for a year.

My prediction is directed at lucky customer #1. As stated in the opening paragraph of this blog posting, I predict that the After Picture will never happen because somewhere between weeks #48 & #51, before that picture can be taken, customer #1 will explode. The only evidence that he ever existed will be his gooey shoes.

Did I hear some of you question why the shoes would remain after such a horrific explosion? Allow me to explain...

Ever since I put the late Albert Einstein’s picture in my Foolishness Office, he has been paying me visits on a regular basis. He does this because no one else appears to know who he is...was. Simply stated, the man is lonely.

He explained to me that the reason the shoes would remain intact is, when things explode, they Blow Up not Down &, obviously, his shoes are down.

Who am I (or you) to question his opinion on this? This man knows all about explosions.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(319)

This Blog Posting Is Apolitical

At first blush those of you who lean to the Left may take this Blog Posting to be an attack on politicians you support. If this is what you see, you are not seeing what I am attempting to point out. Please read slowly.

This is not a Left/Right Diatribe. This is my way of pointing out that our 9% Approval Rated Congress is obsessed with spending money. Their mindset is more akin to... If we spend a lot we have done a lot.

Here is my Apolitical Thinking...

If the Fella had read that Congress had spent $100,000 on their "Torture Report" he probably would have said, "Why did you spend such a large amount of money? What is wrong with you guys? You are obsessed with spending for the sake of spending!"

This indignation proves The Fella has no understanding of the ability of Congress to open our wallets.

The actual number spent by our Drunken Sailor 9% Approval Rated Congress on this report was $40,000,000!!!

Because of my past attempts to educate you, my dear readers, I know you know how much $1,000,000 is but, for the sake of those new to my Blog's Wisdom, I'll lay it out again...

A million is a thousand thousand.

By spending Forty Million Dollars our duly elected Congress has spent...

Forty Thousand Thousand Dollars

It seems to me that 100 thousand dollars ought to be more than enough to spend on any investigation.

Senator Foghorn Leghorn has been looking over my shoulder as I peck this posting out & he has just become agitated at what I am saying. He finally said, "Son, why son, forty ain't much! Hell, forty is not even fifty. Everyone knows fifty is a lot more than forty. If we had spent fifty, you might have a point, son, but you are just being picky, son! You ought to use your excellent communication skill to do something of more importance like getting Postal Workers to Smile Once a Day!"

The Senator really means well & actually is a reasonable fellow. He saw the look of anguish on my face when I contemplated the impossibility of trying to get a postal worker to smile. In an effort to show his compassion, he quickly changed my assignment, "Son, why son, I feel your pain. I'll give you an easier task. Why don't you get the Mississippi River to change course & flow out to California? They need the water out there."

He saw the relief of my face as I realized my new assignment was much easier. We both felt better.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(496)

Lagniappe: I often make reference to Senator Foghorn Leghorn. If you don’t know who he is, click below. Watch as much as you can stand...

Foghorn Leghorn Rants

(Issue: It might take a minute for the picture to appear after the sound starts. If so, click the refresh button. Heck if I know what the problem is.)

Understanding The Logic Behind Congressional Inner Workings

I am certain that your excitement is at a fever pitch about the promise contained in the Subject of this Blog Posting. I am excited also.

Yesterday I was watching a House of Representatives Hearing. The Chairman in his introductory remarks said the following, “All Members Will Have Seven Days to Submit Opening Statements For The Record”.

Did I just hear some of you say that his statement about Opening Statement confuses you? It seems to be pretty straight forward to me.

Sometimes I am at a loss for words to understand why my dear readers do not understand what they do not understand. You are obviously intelligent because you are smart enough to read my foolishness but many times you just can’t understand plain English!

Please allow me to allow me to explain in the simplest wording I can put together. In this context...

• “Opening” refers to the beginning.
• “Seven Days” means anywhere from 24 hours to 168 hours after the beginning.

Now I am confused! Is the Chairman telling us that committee members can actually tailor their Opening Comments about the committee hearing after having the benefit of reading the testimony of what actually transpired in the committee hearing?

I would not be surprised if these Opening Statements are really Forward Thinking.

Would they kid u?

Smartfella

(284)

Lagniappe: Regarding the promise I made in the Subject of this Blog Posting. I must admit I can’t live up to that lofty commitment. I meant well but I have failed and, as they say in Congress, “I sincerely apologize for my shortcomings. That having been said & duly recorded, let’s go to Happy Hour.”

We Have Moved Beyond Good News & Bad News. Now We Have Bad News & Worse News.

The Bad News

A small child asks his Father a question in the not-too-distant future... “I really like this Holiday Season. I especially like all the presents I get on December 25. I really thank you for the Ray Gun you gave me this year. It is going to be a blast to shoot especially since there is now a law that says I can incinerate people with spaces between their front teeth.”

“The Holiday Season is so special! How did the Holiday Season originate?”

The Worse News

The Father says to his Small Child, “I don’t know”.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(151)

Lagniappe: It would be even worse if the Father had said, “I don’t know. I anticipated your asking this question so I Googled it but Google did not know either”.

Is It My Fault That I Have An Uncanny Ability To See The Obvious?

I originally wrote this Blog Posting on January 29, 2010. I have sent it out before as a reminder of how obviously smart I am about the obvious. Now I am doing it again because it is obvious that our 9% Approval Rated Congress is not reading my Foolishness.

I must correct the above sentence. Actually I have it from my sources in Washington, D.C. that many of them are reading my silliness. This makes the future prospects look even worse for the Good Ole USofA. They are reading the Fella’s Foolishness yet they are ignoring the obvious.

I have often said, “If the horse is dead, get off the horse”. If I truly believe that, why am I sending this 2010 piece of wisdom out again? Simply stated I am a Patriot & I keep hoping that one day our 9% Approval Rated Congress will all shout in one voice, “By golly, the Smartfella ain’t stupid!”

Yes, Dear Reader, our duly elected Congress is about to raise the Debt Limit again...

http://forii.blogspot.com/2010/01/what-does-word-limit-mean-to-you.html

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(193)

Who Can Be Opposed To A Caboose?

There is a town next to the town I live in called Suwanee. It is a nice place, well organized & many times has gotten national recognition as a great place to live.

That being said, it appears to me Suwanee is a town that has been Amucked, as in Political Correctness is Running Amuck over there.

This is the time of year when the Lighting of the Christmas Tree used to be on the calendars of communities all over the Good Ole USofA. They did not even have to be Nice Places nor Well Organized nor Recognized to have a Christmas Tree Lighting Ceremony.

This is not the case anymore & not even in Nice Well Organized Recognized Suwanee, GA.

Announcing...

Suwanee’s Jolly Holly-day Celebration

(Formerly the Old Town Holiday Festival & Caboose Lighting)

Yes, Dear Readers, Suwanee is about to light up a Caboose because Who Can Be Opposed To A Caboose? Cabooses are so Correct.

I will never forget the caller to a Radio Talk Show who was objecting to a Manger Scene in front of his City Hall. If you are thinking he was objecting based on Separation of Church & State Grounds you would be wrong in thinking that. He said he was objecting because every time he drove past the Manger Scene he Felt Threatened.

I wonder if there is actually a Christmas Tree over in a dark corner of Suwanee Town Center with a sign on it saying, “Do not look at this relic of the past. If you do look, you might feel threatened”.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(275)

The Dictionary Is A Living & Dying Book

Words come into our English Dictionary all the time...

• Dis... To treat with disrespect. To be rude.
• Humblebrag... An ostensibly modest or self-deprecating statement whose actual purpose is to draw attention to something of which one is proud.
• Amazeballs... Extremely good or impressive; amazing.

Being sly, cunning and alert, the Smartfella has taken note of some words or phrases that are going out of usage. They are still in the dictionary but it won’t be long before they will be stricken...

• Vulgar or Profane... Hardly anything is Vulgar or Profane today.
• Respect... It just does not have much of a place in the today’s Self-Centered Good Ole USofA.
• Politeness... Yes, Sir ... No, Sir ... Yes, Mam ... No, Mam. These all sound sort of silly to too many of us.

That’s progress... Or is it?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(156)

Thinking Of Going Into The Homecare Business? Think Again.

There are more than 3,000 new regulations going into effect January 1, 2015.

Some of you just said that 3,000+ is not that much. Allow me to point out that this is 3,000+ added on to whatever existing regulations there are in effect before January 1, 2015.

I don’t know the total number. Probably no one does. I am comfortable in saying that it is a Whole Bunch of Confusion.

Allow me to narrow this bit of foolishness down to the Homecare Industry.

Below is a link to the January 1, 2015 changes for the Homecare Industry. I must compliment our rulers for giving the ruled more than a year to get ready for these massive changes. This allows us time to get out of the business before January 1, 2015.

You have my permission to skim the link below. Get the feel of it. Then go on to something that is easier to understand like the Mid-East Situation.

Since you are not going to read it all, allow me to paste in one paragraph in order for you to fully understand why you don’t want to be in the Homecare Industry &/or come to the realization that anyone who wants to be in the Homecare Industry ought to have their head examined...

Live-In Domestic Service Employees...

“Live-domestic service workers who reside in the employer’s home permanently or for an extended period of time and are employed by an individual, family, or household are exempt from overtime pay, although they must be paid at least the federal minimum wage for all hours worked. Live-in domestic service workers who are solely or jointly employed by a third-party must be paid at least the federal minimum wage and overtime pay for all hours worked by that third-party employer. Employers of live-in domestic service workers may enter into agreements to exclude certain time from compensable hours worked; such as sleep time, meal time, and other periods of complete freedom from work duties. If the sleep time, meal period, or other periods of free time are interrupted by a call to duty, the interruptions must be counted as hours worked. Under the final rule, employers must maintain accurate records of hours worked by live-in domestic service workers. Employers may require the live-in domestic service employees to record their hours worked and to submit records to employers.”

The Link is below. Remember to skim. I would not want to confuse you and/or depress you...

http://hometrak.com/department-labor-issues-final-regulations-companionship-exemption-effective-january-1-2015/?doing_wp_cron=1417018621.1573030948638916015625

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(493)

Lagniappe: Yes, dear reader, that is a typo at the beginning of the green paragraph above. Can it possibly be that Our Regulatory Rulers made a mistake?

Lagniappe More: On the other hand it is not a mistake if they want to make sure that we understand that, if we have a Dead Domestic Service Worker working for us, this confusing bit of regulation does not apply to him.

Eight Years Ago I Was Already Ahead Of My Time

Probably could not get all of you to agree with me about the happenings in Ferguson, so I will not tell you what I think.

Actually this bit of Foolishness is only peripherally about Ferguson anyway. It is really about those evil Eye Witnesses out there.

There may be one thing that we all could agree on & that is there has been a lot of contradictory testimony given by Eye Witnesses about what their eyes saw...

• Some saw Michael Brown charging head long at Officer Darren Wilson when he was shot.
• Some saw Officer Darren Wilson standing over Michael Brown while he was on the ground & shooting him in his back.

No matter what you believe in this case, we can all agree that is Contradictory Testimony... Or can we?

Remember the Subject of this Blog Posting where I claimed to have been ahead of my time a long time ago (actually August 4, 2006)?

If you are ready for a chuckle or two, click below & you will be impressed with my futuristic blogging abilities... Or will u?

http://forii.blogspot.com/2006/08/we-need-one-eyewittness.html

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(228)

Lagniappe: I sometimes wonder what has happened to Cynthia McKinney since she left Congress. Every time I do I realize that I do not know & it gives me a good feeling that I do not know.

Where Do The People Who Work For The Social Security Administration Come From?

I changed my checking account a few months ago. This account is the account that our Social Security Payments are deposited into each month.
Since this is the first time that anyone in the entire history of the Social Security Administration (SSA) has ever changed their depository checking account, I was in deep trouble because the SSA apparently did not know how to handle such a “complicated” changeover.
Here are some of the things that happened to me because I challenged the SSA to change my Checking Account...

• My most honest estimate is there have been about 20 phone calls to the SSA.
• Calls to the National SSA Office are unbelievably time consuming, the people I talked to did not listen very well to what I had to say, they were often times rude & I did not get my problem resolved.
• Calls to my Country SSA Office did not take nearly as much time, the persons I talked to listened to what I had to say, they were very polite but I did not get my problem resolved till after I had called about 6 times & made 1 in-person visit to their office.
• On 2 calls to the National Office I had to wait an hour listening to the worst sounding music ever written &, at the end of the hour, I was cut off & I had to call back.
• On 2 calls to the National Office I was offered the option to receive a call back. This meant I did not have to hold the phone listening to the worst sounding music ever written but at the end of the hour I was cut off & I had to call back.
• On 9/1 I went into our Online SS Accounts & updated our deposit bank to the correct Routing & Account Numbers. At that time I was trying to get our August SS Deposits which had missed their deposit due dates. I called the National SS Office & told them my situation. I was berated for going in & updating my account information on my own. I was told that, since I had done that, my August deposits were going to be delayed 60 to 90 days to allow for processing.
• I hung up & immediately called back & told a different agent my story & he said I would have my money in my account in 3 days & my deposit was in my account on the third day as promised on 9/4.
• It was not that easy for my wife’s deposit. After several more phone calls, her money was deposited on 10/9.
• The last remaining problem was we did not get our September Deposits on the 9/24 due date. We had already gotten our 10/22 deposits made on schedule. We eventually got our 9/24 deposits on 11/18.
• In the midst of all of the calls trying to get the 9/24 deposits, I was told twice that, since we had gotten our 10/22 checks in October, it was against the law to get our 9/24 deposits in October because that would mean we would have gotten 2 checks in the same month & we cannot get 2 checks in the same month. Stop & think about this logic for a moment.
• The deposit of the 9/24 checks got handled unbelievably fast only after I told my SSA contact that I was in the process of contacting my Congressman.

I could go on but I am certain you are tired of this by now & half of you have decided that I made all of this foolishness up.

------------------------

The story below was copied from the SSA’s own web site. If you wanna check me out, click here: http://www.ssa.gov/history/ssn/misused.html
Social Security Cards Issued by Woolworth
The most misused SSN of all time was (078-05-1120). In 1938, wallet manufacturer the E. H. Ferree company in Lockport, New York decided to promote its product by showing how a Social Security card would fit into its wallets. A sample card, used for display purposes, was inserted in each wallet. Company Vice President and Treasurer Douglas Patterson thought it would be a clever idea to use the actual SSN of his secretary, Mrs. Hilda Schrader Whitcher.
The wallet was sold by Woolworth stores and other department stores all over the country. Even though the card was only half the size of a real card, was printed all in red, and had the word "specimen" written across the face, many purchasers of the wallet adopted the SSN as their own. In the peak year of 1943, 5,755 people were using Hilda's number. SSA acted to eliminate the problem by voiding the number and publicizing that it was incorrect to use it. (Mrs. Whitcher was given a new number.) However, the number continued to be used for many years. In all, over 40,000 people reported this as their SSN. As late as 1977, 12 people were found to still be using the SSN "issued by Woolworth."
Mrs. Whitcher recalled coming back from lunch one day to find her fellow workers teasing her about her new-found fame. They were singing the refrain from a popular song of the day: "Here comes the million-dollar baby from the five and ten cent store."
Although the snafu gave her a measure of fame, it was mostly a nuisance. The FBI even showed up at her door to ask her about the widespread use of her number. In later years she observed: "They started using the number. They thought it was their own. I can't understand how people can be so stupid. I can't understand that."
Remember the subject of this blog? If not, I repeat, “Where Do The People Who Work For The Social Security Administration Come From?”
Based on my dealings with the SSA in the last few months, I have determined what happened to the Mental Midgets who used the Specimen Card as their own... The Social Society Administration Hired Them.
Would I kid u?
Smartfella
(1151)
Lagniappe: If you remember the bullet points above, you will understand my agony. The agony just came back. Three days after our 9/24 checks were deposited on 11/18 we received 2 letters from SSA telling us it looks like they have overpaid us & they are going to take the 2 checks back.
Lagniappe More: They said nothing about sending us to jail because they paid us double but that may come in the next 2 letters.
I sure hope I can continue to Blog from my jail cell & I know you do too... Or do u?

The President & I Know What’s Wrong With The Economy

Yes, the President & I know the problem. Actually it is not just the two of us who are in the know. There is a third person as smart as we are & that person is you.

Did you just say you do not know what you know? If you just open your mind to what your ears are hearing, you would quickly come to the realization that you really know what you don’t know you know.

The manifestation of the problem can be heard daily on your radio. It simply is that radio advertisers are giving away their products for free. No one is making any money!…

• Program about how to Control your Uncontrollable Teenager.
• Pills to make you Lose Weight without having to eat less or to eat differently or do any form of exercise.
• Creams that will Stop Your Itches from itching you.
• Free Investors Kit. When the stock market goes up, you make money. When the stock market goes down, you make money.
• Free Makeup Foundation (whatever that is).
• Credit Reports that are free & some others that are really free.
• Free Web Sites.
• Clean Up Your Computer for free.
• Magical Debt Relief without having to stop spending more money than you have.
• Free book on how to Buy Gold.
• Book on how to make your Erectile Dysfunction function again.
• Stop Low Testosterone for free.

The Problem Is Apparent...Or Is It?

If our economy keeps giving away everything, there will continue to be no generation of income to the economy & our GDP will continue to go deeper into the tank.

The President is doing his best to get a handle on the situation. He keeps going to Hawaii so he can be alone to try & come up with a plan of action to bring this awful situation under control.

We have all seen the news clips on TV of him sitting on the beach for hours. Many times he remains there till the sun goes down with a drink in his hand with a little umbrella it just thinking thinking thinking about this thorny issue.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(379)

Finally Relief Is Coming For Our Fellow Citizens Trapped In The Awful Violence & Mayhem Of Chicago But It’s Going To Cost Us A Lot Of Money… Or is it?

My sources tell me that our Federal Government is launching a plan to physically relocate our fellow Americans trapped in Chicago for their own safety. Before the end of the year the plan will start to come to fruition...

• Whole communities will be created where they can escape their awful living conditions in Chicago to new confines where they can begin to live peacefully.
• Homes will be constructed at taxpayer expense for them to live in safety after their relocation.
• Our government will arrange for their household good to be packed up transported out of their dangerous living conditions in Chicago.
• There was a tremendous expression of gratitude when the Chicagoans came out of hiding after seeing the announcement of the “Escape from Hell Relocation Program” on television.

Some Americans were concerned about where the money to finance this costly project was going to come from but were relieved when they heard that the whole project is being funded by borrowing a lot of money from China.

This means it will cost us almost nothing because money borrowed from China does not have to be repaid. We just have to pay a little bit of interest.

One savvy Talking Head was heard to say on TV, “It’s like free money”.

The “Escape from Hell Relocation Program” will cost the Chicago Refugees absolutely nothing.

In truth their only responsibility will be that they must choose whether they want to go live in Guatemala, El Salvador or Honduras.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(286)

Georgia Has Set Its Foot In The Door & Nobody Told Me

My last blog posting...

“The Rulers Of Colorado Have Determined That Pot Is OK For Coloradans... Or Is It?”

was responded to with this comment...

“Thanks. Is this what we can expect from good olde GA after Jan 1st?”

I am one to keep up with the news but I knew nothing about what SmartRichard was talking about but I looked it up on the Internet &, I’m sorry to say, I now know about it.

Here is the text from the news article I found about what my home state intends to do to itself...

Part 1: “Medical marijuana is one step closer to becoming legal in Georgia, but it's taken a different form from its original version that passed the House 171-4 last week.

The Senate Health and Human Services committee unanimously approved House Bill 885 on Wednesday, which would legalize a form of medical marijuana in Georgia.

But the bill now also requires insurance companies to cover autism treatment for children ages 6 and under.

A few minutes before the vote, the committee's chairwoman said the medical marijuana bill will be combined with the autism bill.”

(The Smartfella hereby interrupts this quote for a comment.)

If I am one thing it is Logical. What did I just hear you scoff at my claiming to be Logical? OK I will modify that contention of mine to more accurately state that I am Logically Silly.

After reading Part 1 above I could logically assume that, in the interest of transparency, my legislature will now call this bill...

“The Medical Marijuana & Care for Kids Bill”

Right?...

Wrong!...

It is now called “The Care for Kids Bill”

How do you like that for transparency?

I ask you, who in their right mind want to go on record as having voted against a bill called, “The Care for Kids Bill”?

Part 2: Our esteemed transparent Chairwomen went on to say, "We also combined the autism bill with it. We're calling it the Care for Kids Act," she told 13WMAZ. "All the people in this legislature care about the children of Georgia."

------------------------

The bill to help Autistic Children in Georgia came to fruition because a 4 year old Georgian Child has a condition where she is subjected to 200 Seizures a Day & it appears someone has determined that Medical Marijuana will help her.

As usual, I have an Alternative Course of Action to propose...

• Send one of our caring legislators to California.
• Have him go into one of their Medical Marijuana Dispensaries.
• Go over to the “Doctor” sitting at that little desk in the corner with the stethoscope around his neck, clutching that bottle of bourbon with a sign over his head reading “Lickety Split Prescriptions”.
• Tell him you have Toe Fungus.
• Get a prescription for a bunch of Medical Marijuana for your Toe Fungus.
• Bring your bunch of Medical Marijuana back to our Suffering Georgian Autistic Child.

There you have it, another logical fix for a perplexing issue from The Fella!

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(584)

Lagniappe: There is a possibility that the legislature is not contending that Medical Marijuana will be used to treat this Autistic Child but they just attached it to a pending Autistic Child Help Bill so they could hide it in the Care for Kids Act. If that is the case, the subterfuge is even worse than I thought.

The Rulers Of Colorado Have Determined That Pot Is OK For Coloradans... Or Is It?

Colorado has legalized pot. It has been big news ever since the State saw the light and decided to mend its ways. Wiser heads than I say there is no turning back the clock on this one because it was the right thing to do.

The Smartfella, however, sees the real reason why the clock will not go back and that reason is money. The Pot Industry is booming and the Pot Entrepreneurs and the State of Colorado are getting rich!

Almost immediately following the State giving the OK to smoke and/or eat pot it started a campaign to discourage Coloradans from smoking and/or eating pot.

Somebody is confused here and it’s not the Fella...

• Colorado has instituted a hard-hitting campaign to emphasize to teenagers that pot could be harmful to them.
• An example of what the campaign looks like is billboards throughout the State that say, “Does Marijuana really cause schizophrenia in teenagers? Smoke it and find out for yourself.”
• Another sign says, "Subjects needed. Must be teenager. Must smoke weed. Must have eight IQ points to spare."
• Another phase of the discouragement program is having human size cages located around the state where they can be seen by potential young pot smokers. The message the cages try to convey is pot smokers are becoming laboratory rats.
• State health officials also say they were concerned by studies showing pot can lead to depression and impairment of cognitive functioning.
• The campaign is being criticized by pro pot smokers and sellers as Scare Tactics. (The Fella believes Scare Tactics are not intrinsically evil. The key factor is, is there anything to be scared about?)

There is a lot in the above bullets that makes one wonder why Colorado would do such a thing. Do you remember my earlier comments about the State getting rich?

It’s like the State saying something like, “The State of Colorado has determined that there are 26 very valid reasons why pot should not be approved for recreational use in Colorado. We have decided to approve pot for recreational use because there are not 27 very valid reasons why we should not approve it.”

The Smartfella has two questions...

• If it is unsafe to use why approve it for use?
• If it is safe to use why spend $5.68 million to discourage its use?

Here is where we come to the full realization of how “smart” the Colorado State Legislature is. Ask yourself this question... Where does the legislature get the $5.68 million to pay for the Anti-Pot Smoking Campaign?

You guessed it... Or did you?...

They're getting the $5.68 million (and a lot more) for the Anti-Pot Smoking Campaign from the revenue generated by their approval of Marijuana for Recreational Use.

If you think you are confused after reading this Foolishness, imagine how confused I am after writing it.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(502)

Can God Tell Time?

There is another Subject Line I could have written for this bit of Foolishness...

Maybe God Won’t Notice. I Understand He Is Pretty Busy.

Actually I did not write the verbiage below. One of you Dear Readers sent this to me. He is sort of like a voice crying in the wilderness. He is crying, “Oh My Gosh! I am beginning to think like the Smartfella. Is that bad? It may be a good thing because he is rather well known in his very small corner of the world”.

For better or for worst, here is what caught the eye of our new contributor, the Smartherr...

“Thought of you this morning as I was reading the AJC, page 2, story about Egypt changing clocks back and forth. The most recent change was to shorten the fasting time for Ramadan which is supposed to be from dawn to dusk”.

Either they really came up with something totally new that affects the rotation of the earth but only for Egypt, or there are hints that they are not about to become a technologically savvy country any time soon.

Maybe I am too harsh. Our Congress is capable of worse.”

Actually the Smartherr has made me feel guilty after his very first posting. Right out of the box he is taking shots at Congress. He is a frequent reader. Did I turn him against Congress?

Maybe I ought to back off a bit. Why it was only a couple of years ago that I was really pleased by an action taken by our 9% Approval Rated Congress. I actually said to myself, “Self, who says Congress is all messed up? That’s a great name for a Post Office!”

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(295)

It’s Time To Recall An Oldie But Still A Goodie

At the end of this posting is the link to a Brilliant Political Observation and a Real Sneaky Plan of Action published by the Fella on October 28, 2012. I bring them to your attention because the questions posed in the “Exit Polling” part have still not been answered (& never will be)...

http://forii.blogspot.com/2012/10/two-prior-postings-because-it-is-silly.html

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(70)

Good News & Bad News

The Good News... Tomorrow the Mid-Term Elections will be over & our crack news media will no longer be talking about Possibilities, Probabilities & Improbabilities of the upcoming Mid-Term Elections.

The Bad News... Tomorrow our crack news media will start talking about the Possibilities, Probabilities and Improbabilities of the upcoming 2016 Presidential Elections.

Oh well, at least they will be just getting started & they won’t be Wide Eyed & Shouting...

“Breaking News!”

“News Alert!”

“This Just In!”

...Or will they?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(92)

Golly Gee! I Certainly Am On Top Of Things!

I just blogged about the Sweet Tax five days ago http://forii.blogspot.com/2014/10/thats-crazyor-is-it.html & now my newspaper tells me that the enemies of sweetness are moving ahead in San Francisco & Berkeley, CA.

These two bastions of intelligence are voting on a Special Tax on Sugary Beverages tomorrow. I am not pecking this foolishness out to redo this last blog (link above). I want to point out to you why this Wave of the Future is going to come crashing down on us eventually.

The reason the Sweet Tax will pass someday is the Intended Use of the Tax Proceeds that its proponents have tagged the measure with...

The tax revenue will be used for School Nutrition, Public Education & Fitness Programs

Who is going to come out & say they are against these three consistent vote getters? Even the Fella is too smart for that but he will give you this warning...

We will be shocked & awed by what that revenue is actually used for.

The truth is we will never be shocked & awed by its use because we will never find out what it is eventually used for but I bet some Special Interest Group like Citizens for the Preservation & Expansion of Kumquat Cultivation are licking their chops as I peck out this warning.

Want proof? Can you say, “Federal Highway Trust Fund” (aka: Gasoline Tax)? We were told these monies would be directed to only pay for Road & Bridge Repairs.

Actually there is a wide range of causes that have received funding from the Gasoline Tax.

Eventually we hear members of Congress lamenting the fact that our Roads & Bridges are in need of repair, our Federal Highway Trust Fund is depleted & we have to raise the Exclusive Gasoline Tax to be used exclusively for Road & Bridge Repair.

How stupid do they think we are?

The simple answer is… Pretty Darn Stupid.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(334)

There Are Too Many Bases Out There

An alternative Subject for this Foolishness...Or Is It? could have been...

There Are Too Many Lawyers Out There

Because There Are Too Many Lawyers Out There we are required to “Cover All Bases” in everything we do. Allow me to prove my point...

A restaurant wants to offer a coupon to draw customers. The cook and the manager come up with wording for their coupon that reads like this... “This coupon may be used to purchase one (1) Classic Soup, Salad and Breadsticks Lunch Combo for $5.00”.

Because they have been sued before, they run it by their lawyer. The lawyer looks at them with distain and says, “When will the two of you ever learn? You have not Covered All Bases”.

He then proceeds to add on the necessary disclaimers to keep the restaurant from being sued by his brother-in-law and a whole raft of other savvy diners.

The list of disclaimers below was taken from an actual restaurant coupon I had in my possession.

• This coupon may be used to purchase one (1) Classic Soup, Salad and Breadsticks Lunch Combo for $5.00 (excludes children’s menu items, soup, Garden Salad, pizza, tax and gratuity).
• Maximum value of discount offer is $4.30.
• Valid Monday – Friday until 4 p.m.
• Limit one (1) Classic Soup, Salad and Breadsticks Lunch Combo per coupon.
• One coupon per visit, per table.
• Coupon must be surrendered at time of use, and any unused value will not be refunded.
• Coupon may not be redeemed for cash or combined with any other offer.
• Dine in only.
• Cash redemption value 1/20 of one cent.
• Coupon may not be reproduced, sold, transferred or traded.
• Sales tax paid by the bearer.
• Valid at any Mama Mia Gonzales Restaurant location in the U.S. Code: Lunch5.
• Expires 10/17/14.

The only thing I changed in this list was the name of the restaurant.

------------------------

It is a wonder the restaurant lawyer did not put in a few more like...

• Mama Mia is not responsible for soup splashed on any piece of clothing.
• Mama Mia will not be held responsible if any of our patrons dies from Ebola after leaving our restaurant.
• Some forms of our pasta have holes in the middle of them. These holes are the exclusive responsibility of the manufacturers of the pasta. Mama Mia is, therefore, not responsible for anyone consuming this type of pasta in our restaurant who is allergic to holes.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(431)

That’s Crazy...Or Is It?

The first time we hear a Crazy Idea we say to our collective selves, “That’s a Crazy Idea”.

The next time we hear that Crazy Idea we say to our collective selves, “There’s that Crazy Idea again!”

The next time we hear that Crazy Idea discussed it is a bunch of Talking Heads on TV and the Crazy Part is gone and they are talking about a Topical Idea of the Day.

The first time we heard that the former mayor of New York City wanted to shoot anyone who drank a big sugary soda in his city most of us thought he was being silly. Thank heaven the courts got involved and stopped him and his sweet police after only a few people were shot.

In the old days that would have been the end of such an idea but not in today’s Good Ole USofA. Not by a long shot. Now we have...

• Representative Rosa DeLauro of Connecticut recently launched the first national effort in years to tax soda drinks.
• The Connecticut lawmaker is under no illusion about the chances that her Sugar-Sweetened Beverages Tax Act will become law.
• She does not even expect the bill to come to a vote.
• However, she is forging ahead anyway anyway.
• DeLauro said, "We have a serious health problem. It is in part related to the consumption of sugar and added sugars and sugary beverages. Therefore we need to move to do something to avert this crisis."
• DeLauro's legislation would levy a one-cent tax on manufacturers for every teaspoon of sugar in their beverages.
• San Francisco and Berkeley will hold ballot measures to introduce soda taxes in November.

(Why is it that the remedies proposed to real or imagined maladies in our society always involve the levying of higher taxes?)

As is usually the case, the Smartfella has alternative courses of action to propose...

• How about an Absence of Taxes Tax? Imagine the number of children we could help with the revenue that could be generated by taxing everything.
• Sugar now and salt next. Actually a Salt Tax should have been before a sugar tax. We could go a long way to eliminating poverty in the Good Ole USofA by levying a one cent tax for every time one of us shook a salt shaker over our food.
• Stupidity would generate a humongous amount of revenue. We could start with that college student I saw on TV the other day who proposed that we fight the ISIS Terrorists by dropping food on them.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(475)

Lagniappe: More than one breathless Connecticut Voter has been heard to say, “I’ll follow Rosa DeLauro anywhere”. Looking at her all dressed up below you can easily see why... Or can you?

The Days Of The U.S. Postal Service Are Coming To An End If...

Based on the never ending volume of mail received at my house all year every week it is my considered opinion that the only thing keeping the U.S. Postal Service alive is Publishers Clearing House.

If Publishers Clearing House goes out of business the U.S. Postal Service will be gone within a week.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(72)

Politicians Worry About Mission Creep...The Smartfella Worries About Government Creep

This happens all the time. Our rulers in Washington D.C. see a wrong & decide to right that wrong. To do this they pass, what seems to be, a simple piece of legislation. Immediately that simple law begins to be expanded until it becomes a large Legislative Octopus with very long tentacles & becomes impossible to stop.

Want an example?...

When the Endangered Species Act passed in 1973, the concern was that iconic species such as the bald eagle would become extinct. The main threats were from shooting, poisoning and trapping.

I repeat... Shooting, Poisoning & Trapping needed to be addressed. Before we knew what was happening the law was reworked to address harassment, harming, pursuing, hunting, shooting, wounding, killing, trapping, capturing, collecting or attempting to engage in any such conduct.

The lawyers started licking their chops. Then the expansion was expanded to include the “taking” of habitat that harbors—or could harbor—endangered species.

Shoes started dropping all over the Good Ole USofA. One of the shoes landed on a North Carolina landowner who was arrested and threatened with fines and jail time for cutting down old-growth pine trees on his property because the trees could potentially provide habitat for endangered red-cockaded woodpeckers.

Imagine your confusion if you were sitting in jail wondering why you had been incarcerated because you had committed a crime of, “Could Potentially”.

------------------------

Did you just think to yourself that I had not made my case? Please forgive me & allow me to try again.

Children Shooting Children in school just begs our rulers to take action. I’m not going to argue with trying to address this issue but here is what Congress did...

They passed the Zero-Tolerance Approach to address this awful phenomenon as part of the 1994 Gun-Free Schools Act. I’m still not arguing but before we could turn around the law was expanded to Other Weapons ... then to Drug Contraband ... then to Ordinary Violations of School Rules, Disrespect & Skipping Class. It eventually became an across the board response to disciplinary problems.”

Over the past 19 years, prompted by changing police tactics and a zero-tolerance attitude toward small crimes, the FBI estimates authorities have made more than a quarter of a billion arrests. Nearly one out of every three American adults is on file in the FBI’s master criminal database. All too many of these “criminals” made their way into the FBI’s Database as students...

• A small pocketknife got a student charged with weapons possession.
• A 12-year-old seventh-grader was arrested & charged with disturbing the peace on school property after a minor hallway altercation.
• A student got a misdemeanor ticket for wearing too much perfume.
• A teen was charged with theft after sharing the chicken nuggets from a classmate’s meal—the classmate was on lunch assistance and sharing it meant the teen had violated the law.
• A student conducted a science experiment before the authorization of her teacher & when it went awry she received a felony weapons charge.
• Talking back or disrupting class has resulted in charges of disorderly conduct.
• Fights in school have lead to assault and battery charges &/or suspensions.
• I already blogged about the 7 year old who chewed his breakfast pastry into the form of a gun. This little terrible person was suspended from school for 2 days... http://forii.blogspot.com/2014/05/this-cant-be-true-or-can-it.html

------------------------

Back in my High School years Farther Heiter would have been shocked if someone had mentioned the possibility of a Criminal Record for a fist fight in his school yard.

He loved fist fights because they gave him the opportunity to get out the Boxing Gloves instead of calling the police. If someone had run to the phone booth & called the police, here is what they would have witnessed when they arrived & they would have loved the happening...

• Father Heiter first stepped between the combatants & told bystanders to hold the two angry youths apart.
• He ran (yes he actually ran), with a big smile on his face (yes he actually had a big smile on his face), to get his boxing gloves.
• The students not doing any holding apart automatically formed a square “ring”.
• The good father returned, had the combatants put the gloves on & we all were treated to a schoolyard brawl.
• When he thought enough was enough, Father Heiter stepped between, stopped the fisticuffs & had the once angry, but now more tired than angry, students shake hands.

It was great fun, no one got hurt, no one got a criminal record & no one went to jail.

------------------------

Before I evolved into the Fella I spent more than 30 years in the Automotive Industry. This happened over and over...

• A manufacturer saw a consumer need for a Small Car.
• It built a small car.
• Every few years that small car was retooled & we would hear the manufacturer advertising, “Our Small Car Is Bigger Than Your Small Car”.

Before long the confused public was heard to say, “Is that a Pinto or is it a Lincoln Town Car?”

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(873)

Congress Fixes Another Thorny Issue

Check out that Domino behind the Domino you are about to push over before you push it over. Dominos are very heavy & almost impossible to pick back up.

Congress takes note that all those 18 Wheelers on our highways are causing lots of problems...

• They tear up our highway system requiring us to have to pay huge sums to maintain & repair them.
• Highways are more expensive to begin with because of the extra durability that must be constructed into them because of the heavy duty wear & tear they inflict on the roadbeds.
• They take up a lot of room causing tremendous traffic congestion.
• They kill lots of people every year in all the accidents they are involved in & they actually cause many of the accidents in the first place.
• They pollute & pollute & pollute some more.

Congress springs into action and bans all 18 Wheelers from our Interstate Highway System.

Immediately Dominos fall all over Congress...

• Overnight there is a shortage of darn near everything in the Good Ole USofA that those Big Trucks used to deliver.
• Congress reacts by telling the business community to construct manufacturing plants all over the Good Ole USofA.
• Senator Foghorn Leghorn looks the Transportation Industry right in their formerly rich faces & tells them, “Why should you have all this manufacturing capability spread all over? It does not make sense! Building your Widgets right across the street from the consumers makes all the sense in the world!”
• The Transportation Industry complies & builds thousands of new manufacturing plants but overnight there is a shortage of workers caused by all these new manufacturing facilities.
• Congress enacts a plan to go into Africa & capture people & bring them over to the Good Ole USofA to work in the many factories.
• Some people call these new workers Slaves. Others call them Relocated Staffing.
• Since many of the new factories are seasonal a problem arises where the factory workers must constantly be moved around the country to man the different seasonal assembly lines.
• Again Congress saves the day by authorizing thousands of 18 Wheelers to transport the workers.
• Since the trucks are everywhere going everywhere, Congress authorizes the trucks to carry toothpaste, tomatoes, widgets & such.
• The commodities authorized to be transported grows dramatically until there is no room for workers.

How to get the workers from place to place is still up in the air but we do not have to worry about that because Congress has set up a Blue Ribbon Panel to study the issue. Anonymous Sources inside the committee tell us that the committee is leaning heavily toward authorizing a lot more 18 Wheelers.

Remember the Yellow Cab Slogan. “A Thinking Fellow Rides A Yellow”? Watching Congress function is like it was operating a cab company called Circle Cabs & its slogan is, “A Thinking Fellow Rides Around In Circles”.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(508)

The Proverbial Slippery Slope Is Alive & Well

There was a time when a female showed her ankle in public and all who saw it were shocked. That bare ankle slid down the Slippery Slope and next thing we knew we are hearing dialog like this on Jimmy Kimmel Live...

Earlier this week, Portia De Rossi appeared on her wife Ellen DeGeneres' eponymous talk show to discuss her role on Scandal and to dispel ongoing reports that they're secretly planning to have a baby. The 41-year-old actress readdressed both topics when she appeared on Jimmy Kimmel Live! Thursday.

"It's been a while," Jimmy Kimmel told her. "I haven't seen you for a little bit of time." De Rossi replied, "Actually, I think the last time we saw each other, we were in bed together. It was you, me and Ellen."

"My first and only threesome," the late-night comedian joked.”

Later on he asked his guest about "rumors that [she] and Ellen are going to have a baby. Is there anything to that?"

Groaning, de Rossi said, "Oh, I know. I know. Oh, gosh. It's just one big rumor that doesn't seem to go away, and at this point, I feel like I'm disappointing the whole of America”...

This from The Fella to Portia De Rossi...

Do you think you are so important that the whole of America is hanging on your every move or not move? Actually most of us do not even know who you are and, now that we do, we don’t really care whether you move or don’t move.

I for one had never heard of Portia De Rossi till now. Don’t email me back and tell me who she is. I can Google her but I probably already know all I want to know about her.

Reminds me of the time Dr. Watson told Sherlock Holmes that the Moon revolved around the Earth. Sherlock replied that, until this point in his life, he had never heard of this fact and now that he had heard it he was going to forget it because he did not need to know it.

That’s the way The Fella feels about Portia De Rossi & her moves & not moves. I understand that Portia De Rossi does not care about The Fella’s moves & not moves but, after much soul searching, I have decided I can handle it.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(404)

Sorry, Mr. President, We’re Too Busy Right Now To Comply With Your Request

As much as I try to stay Apolitical, some of you may have figured out my political leanings but I will persist in trying to stay Blog Neutral in this posting.

Actually, I am going to ask each of you to forget your own political leanings and read this Blog Posting as if you do not know which way you lean.

Global Warming

One Side of the Argument:

The Polar Ice Caps ARE NOT Melting & Are Bigger Now Than They Have Ever Been

Other Side of the Argument:

The Polar Ice Caps Are Melting & By Next Thursday You Will Be Sorry You Ever Doubted This Obvious Fact

Whichever side you find yourself on I ought to be able to get you all to agree with this bit of my Foolishness...

I just read in my newspaper that our Secretary of Defense has plans to, “Retool the military to stop glaciers from melting”.

If you think this is a good idea think about it again using the 3 bullets below as your guide...

• The bad guys just made an amphibious attack through San Francisco Bay.
• The President calls up the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff and orders him to get the military over there and repel the invasion.
• The Chairman says, “Golly Mr. President, this is awful! Under normal circumstances I would be more than glad to comply with your request but all my Trained & Ready for Battle Worriers are all at the poles manning the Ice Cube Making Machines.”

I guess I’m from the old school. I always thought the military was supposed to go around breaking things.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(295)

There, I’ve Covered That One. Now I’ll Move On To The Next One

As you watch the nightly news, did you ever get the feeling that you have heard what you are hearing before and there is a familiar structure to all of it?

If you have not had the feeling described above, you should have had it because it happens every night.

The TV Networks use a check list over and over. At present it looks like this...

• Ebola...Ebola...Ebola.
• All things ISIS.
• Polls ad nauseam that instruct us as to what we should think, now that we know what others think.
• Latest Child Molestation Story.
• The Upcoming Election (there is always an Upcoming Election). No matter how far away the next one is, it is the Next One, so we speculate, palpate, obsess and worry about it.
• The latest Record Drug Bust which breaks the record for Record Drug Busts set two nights ago.
• Boots on the Ground. Boots that ought to be on the Ground. How many Boots would be on the Ground if they were actually on the Ground? When will the Boots be on the Ground? Why are the Boots not on the Ground? How many Boots need we have on the Ground before we have too many Boots on the Ground? What will be the average size of the Boots on the Ground once they actually do get on the Ground?

Back in the Archives next to Indiana Jones’ Lost Arc is the Old Check List that TV News Broadcasters used years ago before Good News became No News. It looked something like this...

• The latest inventions that will be of great benefit to all of us.
• Teasers about what we could expect on Ozzie & Harriet that night.
• Why Charitable Donations continue to be of such importance to the very fabric of this Great Country.
• Now that the price of Sliced Boiled Ham has gone over $.27 a pound, will Americans start eating Steak instead of Ham?
• Is that Buckle on the Back that teenagers are wearing on the back of their trousers a precursor to teens walking around with their pants falling down with most of their underwear showing?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(384)

People Who Put Up Signs Sometimes Confuse Me

I am a person who writes a Blog that sometimes confuses people. The people who put up signs are trying to get even with me.

The picture below was taken in Rosemary Beach, FL by The Fella. Do you see why I am confused?

I have devoted a whole bunch of thought to the No Climbing Sign in the Climbing Thingies Park. Here is what I have come up with...

• Have you noticed, as I have noticed, that these Climbing Parks are often empty?
• More often than not, when they are not empty, they are being used by very young children.
• The very young are in there because they have not yet learned to read.
• Once the little kiddies learn to read, they understand that they are prohibited from going in and having fun.

Congress ought to do something about this situation and, since they are all caught up with their Post Office Naming Responsibilities, I pray they are about to jump all over this one.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(184)

Newton's First Law Is, “An Object At Rest Tends To Stay At Rest” ... The 21st Century’s Finest Example Of Newton’s First Law Is A Member Of Congress

Members of Congress begin to take their Membership in Congress for granted after about 7 weeks. A fine example of the Smartfella’s Law of Inertia follows…

Congressional Record
111th Congress (2009-2010)

Congressional Record article 11 of 354

CONGRATULATING SENATOR ROBERT C. BYRD -- (Senate - November 18, 2009)

Mr. ALEXANDER. Mr. President, I am glad I had the opportunity to hear the comments of the Senator from Iowa on Senator Byrd. We all have enormous respect for Senator Byrd. I had a chance this morning to say a word about him and to reflect on, among other things, that when I first came here as a young aide 42 years ago to Senator Baker, Senator Byrd had already been here for 10 years as a Senator.

Did you pay attention to what you just read? Did you take note that the 42 Year Guy said “42 Years Ago” & “had already been here for 10 years as a Senator” before the 42 Year Guy first entered the building?

The English Language was never used any better in the history of the British Parliament as when Leo Amery addressed Prime Minister Chamberlain & his Cohorts in 1940...

“You have sat too long here for any good you have been doing. Depart, I say, and let us have done with you. In the name of God, go!”

Leo Amery in 1940 was almost exactly quoting Oliver Cromwell from 1653.

I wish someone would deliver an almost exact quote patterned after Messrs. Amery and Cromwell’s words to our current Congress.

The sad part is there isn’t a chance in hell our Current Congress would do as requested because 1% of the average American is a Millionaire but just over 50% of Members of Congress are Millionaires.

I tried to Google how many of them were already millionaires before they were elected but could not find out that bit of information.

What? You think I made the above “The sad part...” paragraph up? How could you think that of me? Click this link... http://billmoyers.com/2014/01/10/washington%E2%80%99s-millionaire-boyz-club/

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(374)

Staring Is A Thing Of The Past

Staring is definitely a lost art. There was a time when we all used to stare and think nothing of it. I am sorry to say we don’t know how to stare any longer.

Back in the old days a person would go into a doctor office, a dentist office or a bank and sit down and stared while waiting to be seen. A lot of the world’s bright ideas and significant life changing plans of action occurred while we did nothing but stare...

• Beethoven was riding on a horse drawn trolley when it dawned on him that four symphonies were not enough.
• General Eisenhower was sitting in the dentist office when he came up with the idea that Normandy was the place for the Normandy Invasion.
• Alexander the Great, who had always had a feeling that he was a bit cramped, decided that Macedonia needed to be expanded to India.
• Doctor Jonas Salk, who had been working on a cure for Homesickness, was sipping a cappuccino and staring at the wall in front of him in the Higher Grounds Coffee Shop when it dawned on him that a cure for Polio just might a better path to travel.

Ah yes, the world was doing OK and making slow but steady progress up and until the point where Steve Jobs introduced his new gadget.

The invention of the Smartphone changed everything. Now we sit and immediately take out our modern pocket electronic wonder toys and...

• We surf the net for earth shaking information or miscellaneous trivia.
• We shop for significant purchases or for things we don’t need (it boggles the mind to contemplate how many more pairs of shoes Imelda Marcos could have owned if the Internet had been invented).
• Sometimes we just poke at it to see where it will take us.

This Blog Posting has now progressed to the point where the Smartfella would probably peck out, “That’s Progress”. If he did, he would probably have a little more pecking left in him and he would go on to peck... “Or is it?”

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(366)