My Visit To The Beach

I am often asked by people who are contemplating retirement, “What do you do with your time?” I give many different answers because I do many different things.

If I were asked this question today I would probably tell them, “I visit places”. This would be my current answer because I just spent more than a week Visiting The Beach (Panama City Beach, FL).

“My Visit To The Post Office” posting in June 2009 was one of my all time greats. If you care to reminisce with the Smartfella, click on the link below...

http://forii.blogtownhall.com/2009/06/18/my_visit_to_the_post_office.thtml

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As I said, I was at the beach for more than a week. There is no way I can be anywhere for more than a week and not generate a Foolishness...Or Is It?

My Visit to the Beach Observations

• Walking Phones: Only 3 of every 10 women walking along the beach are not talking on their cell phones.
• Bonding While Walking With Phones: I made a big mistake one day. I saw two women walking together and both were talking on their phones. I could not help myself. I rushed up to them and tried to explain that they were losing a great opportunity for solidifying their friendship. Instead of talking to each other they were ignoring each other and talking on their phones. They looked at me with distain and, if looks could kill, I would have been dead. In unison they put me in my place by saying, “We were talking to each other!” As I said, I made a big mistake. I should have known.
• Dolphins Are Smart...Or Are They?: Dolphins are supposed to be very smart. I watched them every day and I now contend they are rather dumb. First they swim to the west and then they swim to the east...All Day Long. It looks to me like they can’t make up their minds. Does that sound smart to you?
• Noah Made 2 Big Mistakes: Being from Louisiana I have often thought ill of Noah for taking those 2 mosquitoes on his boat. Several times during my visit to the beach I again thought ill of the old boy. He should have left those 2 Sand Flies off his boat also.
• Hiding In The Middle Of the Beach: When I was on the beach I liked to smoke Parodis (small, hard, ugly, cheap, Italian cigars). I got way back from the water’s edge in order to minimize the possibility of a law suit. As soon as I lit up people as far away as 75 yards would stand up out of their beach chairs and start sniffing and looking around for the source of the cigar smoke. What really baffled me was this 75 Yard Odor Detection Radius works both downwind and upwind. How is that possible?
• This is intended for the men reading this posting...I’ll Let You Know When All Is Lost: My always observant beach watching eyes are here to tell you that women now have as many tattoos as men do. Women do still have exclusive ownership of those Low Down Center of the Back Right Above the Butt Tattoos. If ever men start getting tattooed in this area, I’ll send an email and let y’all know. When you get that email from me consider yourself officially notified All Is Lost. You can stick a fork in the male of the species because We Are Done.

If you have not had too much of me and my visits, click below and enjoy (?) my Second Visit To The Post Office in July 2010...

http://forii.blogspot.com/2010/07/another-visit-to-post-office.html

Would I kid u?