In many parts of the world today people are blowing themselves up so they can blow up those people standing around them. If we could reassemble a bomber’s body parts and interview him, he would probably say that the now dead people that happened to be standing next to him deserve to be blown up because of what their ancestors did to his ancestors back in the year 1156. (More proof that I’m not responsible for all the Foolishness in the world today). 
But in the Good Ole USofA we have real problems...
Starbucks is having a very difficult time keeping up with our demand for Pumpkin Spice Lattes!
There you go thinking I made another silly bit of foolishness up but again you are wrong. Actually I am having less and less need to make anything up. The crazy world we live in is sillier than anything the Smartfella could come up with.
Here is the kind of thing that has been happening at Starbucks Locations in recent days...
- A disappointed Latte Seeker left a Starbucks in Manhattan saying he had a bitter taste in his mouth and said he was depressed.
- Baristas are hitting the streets searching for stashes of the Pumpkin Flavored Sauce necessary for Pumpkin Spice Lattes at other Starbucks stores.
- Customers denied their fix are tweeting their dismay.
- A Lexington, KY twit tweeted, “My world almost ended this morning when the local Starbucks told me they were out of Pumpkin Spice Lattes.”
- Back in Manhattan a Barista said her customers have grown emotional on days when she has run out of the Special Pumpkin Sauce. This girl has spunk. She was quoted as saying, “They go crazy. I tell them, you guys do know this is just a drink, right?”
- The desperation is such that many frenzied customers have turned to a powdered version of the latte.
- Stores are now running out of the powdered stuff too and prices are shooting up on the secondary market. An eBay auction has been set up and $6.95 boxes of the powdery blend are selling for $17.
- Some store operators are actually hesitant to get in new product because they fear renewed anger from customers when the limited supplies run out.
- McDonalds has employed a similar limited time marketing strategy with their McRib Sandwich which caused some of their customers to drive as long as 10 hours to hunt them down.
- I’ll finish up these bullets with a quote from a disappointed latte seeker, “A terrible tragedy happened. I placed my order, and the barista informed me that they were out. I was so distraught.”
There are people in our country in real trouble during the dire economic situation we find ourselves in today...Can’t pay their mortgage, Can’t find a job, People are homeless, Gas prices are shooting up, etc.
Contrast the above real problems with the Pumpkin Spice Latte Seekers Imitation Problems as exemplified by the words used in the bullet points above...Disappointed, Bitter Taste, Depressed, Dismay, World Almost Ended, Emotional, Desperation, Frenzied, Prices Shooting Up On Powdery Blend, Renewed Anger, A Terrible Tragedy And Distraught.
I could make their angst all go away with one tidbit of information. There is no actual Pumpkin in a Pumpkin Spice Latte. There is instead a “Pumpkin-Flavored Syrup” which is made up of Natural and Artificial Pumpkin Spice Flavor.
If they knew the true ingredients of a Pumpkin Spice Latte, they would go back to drinking Dr Pepper...Or would they?
Would I kid u?
No comments:
Post a Comment