Wednesday, September 26, 2012

They Are All Dying

Have you browsed through the Obituary Page lately? As is to be expected old people dominate the list of the recently deceased.

This means the percentage of people with strange names is growing. The reason for this is the recent unexplainable penchant modern parents have for misspelling old names. The Correctly Spelled Named People are dying off and the New Misspelled Named People are growing by leaps and bounds...

  • James has become Jymes.
  • Tyler has become Ty-ler.
  • William has become Will.i.am.
  • Sidney has become Cydney.
  • Jasmine has become Jazzmin.

I know I have lamented the awfulness of modern names before but when I do my re-laments I have a different way of looking at them. Let your mind wander with my wandering mind for a moment. Here is what is going to happen about 100 years from now...

  • This misspelling of names craze is going to have run its course.
  • Parents are naming their children names they read about in history books...James, Tyler, William, Sidney and Jasmine.

That’s the good news. The bad news is the campaign to get rid of Schoolyard Bullies which began in the early part of the 21st century has been a 100 year failure. The bullies are still out there and they are still beating up kids in schoolyards all over the Good Ole USofA. Why are they beating their fellow schoolmates you ask? The bullies are pounding on them because they have funny names like James, Tyler, William, Sidney and Jasmine.

The other good news is this means there still will be a Good Ole USofA 100 years from now...Or will there be? Sad smile

Would I kid u?

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