The Major Cause Of Automobile Accidents In Atlanta

It happens every day. An Atlanta Automobile Driver is rolling along and singing a song and the driver in front of him does something completely bizarre and unexpected and it confuses and frightens the Singing Atlantan and he drives off the road and hits a tree.

Something ought to be done and, as usual, I am ready to propose a very logical and irrefutable course of action.

Oh yea, I forgot to tell you the cause of the accidens that I am proposing to remedy. It is automatic turn signals on cars. These, once thought of as great safety features that were going to save countless lives, are causing lives to be lost every day of the year.

The problem is that they are used so seldom that, when they are used, they cause panic, knee jerk reactions and fear in drivers who are following the turn signal using car.

My fix is simple...

• I propose that we go back to hand signals for left and right turns.

Hold on a moment. The late Paul Harvey just came into my computer room and told me The Rest of the Story. He told me the real history of Human Arm Signaling through car windows in America. He is right, of course. I had forgotten about the consternation that Hand Signals had caused in their heyday. Some of you who are old enough to have lived through the Arm Signal Era will probably remember its tremendous shortcomings...

• Sometimes an arm sticking out of the driver’s window meant that the driver was a woman and she was drying her nails.
• In modern America this could mean that the nail dryer was either a woman or a man.
• Sometimes an arm was not stuck out at all because it was too cold out there.
• In modern America it might not be stuck out because it was too cold out there or too hot out there or the driver is determined not to be told by a dictatorial society what he should or should not do with his arm.
• Sometimes the female driver may object because that is the hand that is holding her cell phone and at that distance it will be awfully hard to continue her never ending conversation about all sorts of insignificant trivia.

OK, I see the error of my ways. The hand signal is not practical. I am now at a loss as to what to propose to address this problem.

Actually, I must admit I really have lost interest in this issue. You see I drive a Prius and I go so fast that I don’t have time for any kind of signaling.

You, my dear readers, will have to fend for yourselves (whatever that means).

Would I kid u?