Friday, March 22, 2019

My Post Card Must Have Gotten Lost In The Mail

Do you remember all the talk about our being able to do our Income Taxes on a Post Card? Go ahead and admit you forgot all about this vote getting promise. The people who ask for our votes count on us forgetting about such things. History has proven they know how to count.

 

This is the kind of promise that will always get out the vote. It got votes in the last election and it will get votes in the next election. That’s why in political circles it is called, A Never Ending Promise.

 

If it became a Fulfilled Promise it would quickly become a Forgotten Promise and it would no longer be effective in gathering votes. No one is going to get excited when a politician makes a promise to give you something that you already have.

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Here is how I came to remember this Post Card Promise...

Ø I was in Starbucks the other day and I took note of this Buckster who looked really beaten up.

Ø I asked him why he looked so frazzled and he replied, “I’m a CPA and it is Tax Season and, as usual, we are covered up in boxes of Raked Paperwork”.

I interrupted him to ask what Raked Paperwork was.

Ø He said that was where the American Taxpayer goes into his garage gets his garden rake and uses it to clear off his desk by raking all his tax documents into a big box and brings that box into his CPA, leaves it there saying as he leaves, “Hurry up”.

Having answered my interruption, he got back to explaining his frazzled state...

Ø He said it’s worst than awful this year because of the Post Card Promise various politicians had campaigned on (again) in the last election.

Ø The politicians had turned the promise over to the IRS for implementation and then they went to Happy Hour.

Ø The IRS had performed a vague swipe at the Post Card Promise which resulted in the 2018 Tax Return incorporating 5 New Tax Schedules into the madness that we have all come to hate so much.

 

The Bottom Line is, to put your tax calculation numbers on a Post card (if there actually was a Post Card) the Tax Payer must still make a Humongous Number of Calculations on Tax Schedules and 5 New Tax Schedules have been added.

 

The CPAs are being driven over the edge this year more than ever. They are feeling Betrayed, Put Upon, Beaten Up but one thing they are not feeling is Surprised.

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I tried to cheer my new CPA friend up. I cracked a few jokes but they all fell flat like, “It could be worse. They could have come up with 6 New Tax Schedules”. It was about then that I thought he was going to hit me.

 

I quickly ascertained that cheering him up was hopeless. I started backing away leaving him to his misery.

 

By the time I backed out of the door the poor fellow had actually started to whimper loudly and the Bucksters nearest to him were beginning to relocate further away from him and/or put in their Starbucks Logoed Earplugs that are displayed right next to the Baconless, Eggless, Glutenless Bacon and Egg Biscuit Display.

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

5 comments:

Bobby Tony said...

As a seasoned and somewhat gullible reader of your blog, I feel it appropriate that I plagiarize the "Raked Paperwork" terminology. Knowing that you often make stuff up, I want to be sure who I am plagiarizing when I use it without attribution.

Did you really get that from a CPA, or did you make it up? I may occasionally (but not often) give credit when I use this term, but most often I will pass it off as my own creative use of words.


SmartFella? said...

Bobby or Tony,
I appreciate your honest dishonesty. Here is the truth...Or is it?
>I got the 5 Additional Tax Schedules Issue from a live CPA who looked frazzled.
>I made up the Starbucks part of the story.
>I made up the Racked Paperwork Imagery but are either of us sure it is not true?
>I will have to wait till after tax season to ask my CPA friend because he is too busy right now to give me a coherent answer.
>Yes, Congress went to Happy Hour.
Would I kid u?

Bobby Tony said...

Thanks for the Full Disclosure. Your blog never fails to give me a chuckle or two.

Here is a quote I made up (or did I?)

"I never let the truth get in the way of a good story!"​

Alessandro Rosolino Ortolano said...

Don't CPAs charge by the hour? Your friend should be jumping for joy!! With five new tax schedules, he can probably afford a Venti baconless glutenless biscuit.

Anonymous said...

Enjoyed it and the comments you provided after its end. It is all say it, enact it and forget until campaign trail for reelection which for a representative is the day after his election or reelection. Senators have a someone different time schedule due to longer terms but it still applies. In between waiting for mccain to rise from the dead and strike down the President and his supporters the reasonable man has the time and $ to go pay for a starbucks product whose founders and owners hate them? Is it reasonable to diss a winning President who enacted most of what he supported when he was going to crash & burn? Even if the entire collusion report is released it will not tell the who, what, how and why it was done because the media will not cover it which was the real to release it with as little as possible fanfare. Thanks for letting me ramble.