Friday, November 18, 2011

Debates Are Boring But I Can Fix That

I have contracted with 7 major television networks to host and moderate a GOP Presidential Debate. It will be called, The Smartfella’s? Google Twitter Backyard Town Hall Meeting Facebook You-Tube GOP Presidential Debate Chit Chat. 

Even if I do say so myself, this is a real catchy name for a debate.

The questions in the 78 debates that have been held since the first of November all seem to have been the same. I am going to break new ground and go where no moderator has gone before. I am going to change up the questions and the questioned to bring a whole new perspective on what has been a very predictable and dull affair.

Here are just a few example questions…

Question #1… Mr. Santorum, while you were Governor of Massachusetts you came up with a Health Care Plan that many say was the model for Obamacare. Why did you call it Romneycare instead of calling it Santorumcare?

Question #2… Mr. Gingrich, what in your background growing up as a poor black person in Jim Crow South make you believe that you could sexually harass 4 different women in the space of 3 years?

Question #3… Ms. Bachmann, during your decade as Governor of Texas it has been reported that on many occasions you moonlighted as an Obstetrician and Gynecologist by the name of Ron Paul. Are you going to continue to deny that you committed this deception? Is it not time to come clean with the American People and finally tell the folks back home how many teeth you filled during this rotten Decade of Deception?

I could list more than three but I think you may have seen enough of my intended line of questioning to fully understand what true investigative questioning looks like or you may have just had enough.

By allowing you to read this blog posting I have taken you into my confidence. You are the only one besides me that knows the intended line of questioning that I will employ as moderator of this ground breaking debate.

Most of all don’t tell the candidates. The American People deserve to know if their next President can think on his/her feet and if they can handle that 3am phone call.

Would I kid u?