When I Make Something Up You Know I Made Something Up

Please allow me to explain why I chose the Subject for this blog Posting to be...

When I Make Something Up You Know I Made Something Up

Two Possible Reasons...

• Because I will tell you I made something up.

or

• Because it is so obvious that I made something up I would feel Silly if I told you I made something up.

Now that I have gotten that Silliness out of the way, I will get pecking on today’s Blog Posting.

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In the world of Dollar Stores there is confusion. Don’t worry yourself none because I am about to unconfuse you...

Dollar General Stores...The far greater majority of what they sell costs more than a dollar. I would venture to say if you asked for change for a dollar, the cashier might look at you with a confused look on his face and say, “What’s a dollar?”

Family Dollar Stores...Read above my clever comments about Dollar General Stores.

Dollar Tree Stores...Everything in Dollar Tree Stores Costs a Dollar (except Vienna Sausage which is 2 for a Dollar). THAT IS A LIE! It was not a lie until a couple of days ago when I was slapped in my disbelieving face with this lie for the first time.

I have always liked to eat Campbell’s Chicken Noodle Soup. Dollar Tree sells a 25% Larger than Campbell’s regular can of Chicken Noodle Soup for (wanna guess?) a dollar.

I went in to stock up on Campbell’s Chicken Noodle Soup. I got 10 cans in my basket and went to the checkout counter and, being sly, cunning and alert, I noticed the little screen was ringing up $1.25 each instead of $1.00 each.

I asked the checkout girl why it was not $1.00 each. She said, “Almost everything in the store is now $1.25”. 

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Another Lie...

Inflation in the Good Ole USofA is not that high! It is only 7%. Only 7% is not much. It’s not even 8% and it’s hardly more than 6%.

Based on Fella’s Dollar Tree Inflation Determination Calculation, Inflation is 25%! (You probably did not need your calculator to figure out that my figuring was correct.)

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe:

Way back when I lived in my Cabin  outside of Dahlonega, Georgia there was a store up that way that I was afraid to go into.

It was named “$6.99 and Up”. What is up above $6.99? Every dollar amount from $7.00 and higher is above $6.99. This frightened me. I was afraid to go into that store because I feared I might meet up with a Great Salesman who would get a hold of me and sell me a $3,000 Etch a Sketch!(Put away your calculator. Trust me. I'm not lying when I tell you $3,000 is above $6.99).

Did You Just Say Again What You Just Said?

 

I'm sure tired of how politicians become attached to certain words and, before we know it, Every One of Them Is Using Every One of Them Over and Over.

Here are some of today’s words that are Surging All Across the Fruited Plain...

Ø Racist

Ø Indigenous

Ø Pandemic

Ø Systemic

Ø Racist

Ø Woke (whatever that is)

Ø I’m Offended! (Exclamation Point Is Always Used)

Ø Transparent

Ø Lockdown

Ø Mask(s)

Ø Racist

Ø Mandate

Ø COVID-19

Ø Racist

I can handle hearing 12 Transparencies being used in an hour news show but I was mesmerized recently when a politician blurted out...

I am as transparent as anyone I know. I could not believe my ears when I recently was called a non-transparent by a person who I know to be as non-transparent as anyone I know.

If the above paragraph makes sense to you, it might be because you are suffering from a lack of oxygen because of those 5 Face Masks you are wearing.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

I Know Nothing!

 

The Late Sergeant Schultz visited with me today and before he could say, I know nothing, I beat him to the say by saying, I know nothing about Texas Deceased Voters, Non-Citizen Voters and Cross State Duplicate Voters nor do I know anything about How Many Registered Voters Can Be Fit Into One Single Family Home but I do have a few questions.

Below I will list some things about all of the above that look Suspiciously Foolish...

Ø Why are some people fighting removal of Dead People from the voting rolls?

Ø Why are some people fighting removal of Non-Citizen from the voting rolls?

Ø Why are some people not concerned about Cross-State Duplicate Votes? (This means some individuals may have cast a ballot in both Texas and another state.)

Ø Why do some people see nothing wrong with that single family home in Wichita Falls which is reported to have over 500 Registered Voters living in it?

Would you not agree that the above 4 Bullet Points sound Suspiciously Foolish?

The Texas Secretary of State said a Forensic Audit is being conducted in 4 counties that will use “analytical tools to examine the literal nuts and bolts of election administration to determine if any illegal activity may have occurred.” (I did the underlining.)

Huh? Dear Mr. Secretary of State, I guess it is good for you to not jump to my conclusions but may I give you a bit of advice? I think you ought to go to that 500+ person living there single family home and arrest anyone not living there.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: I don’t understand the use of the word “only” in this sentence that came from a Texas State Official...“The Texas Attorney General’s office lists only 386 active election fraud investigations in Texas.” I don’t mean to quibble but allow me to quibble a bit even though I don’t mean to...is not 386 a lot and not an only?

In Washington D.C. What Goes Around Doesn’t Always Come Around

Federal agencies are required to respond to any Freedom of Information Act request within 20 days. Many times this does not happen.

A request can be denied on several grounds. An often used ground is for National Security Reasons. When this happens, the requestor’s only recourse is to file suit.

Even when the request is approved, it can take a long time to comb through all files, particularly if the request itself is for a massive amount of information stored on analog or non-digital materials or if the request is of a sensitive nature and requires selective redactions.

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In August 2020 a request was filed by the organization called Public Health and Medical Professionals for Transparency. They requested a large number of documents from the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) about Pfizer’s COVID-19 vaccine.

The FDA has claimed that it will take 55 years to review the requested documents. The FDA contends this much time is necessary to remove private, personal and corporate information. This means the request wouldn’t be completed until the year 2076.

“Since the Biden administration is hell-bent on forcing these vaccine mandates on us, the public has every right to know how this vaccine was approved, especially in such a short amount of time,” Rep. Ralph Norman said. “After all, the FDA managed to consider all 329,000 pages of data and grant emergency approval of the Pfizer vaccine within just 108 days. So it’s hard to rationalize why it now needs 55 years to fully release that information to the public.”

Rep. Norman is fighting back. He has countered that he thinks 100 Days is quite enough.

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My sources tell me that the real reason the FDA needs 55 Years to comply with the Rep. Norman’s request is they do not intend on starting to work on it until 54 years, 11 months and 2 weeks from now.

I asked my sources to go back at the FDA and ask why they will not start working on the request until 54 years, 11 months and 2 weeks from now. The FDA Guy replied in an exasperated tone, “Because we are too busy not working on a lot of other requests!”

The American Public is so used to this kind of thing happening in Washington D.C. we are likely to shrug our shoulders and say, “That makes sense”.

Because we respond with a meek “That makes sense” is proof positive that they are winning and we are losing.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

This May But Should Not Surprise You. My Blog Is Not Very Political...Or is it?

 

Buy One For Yourself, A Friend or An Enemy.

https://www.amazon.com/Foolishness-Thought-provoking-wandering-serious/dp/1450517730/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3DKBPSYU3AKPE&keywords=Foolishness...Or+Is+It%3F&qid=1642686639&s=books&sprefix=foolishness...or+is+it+%2Cstripbooks%2C73&sr=1-1

I take the position that my Blog is about Foolishness not Politics. If you would go back and read past Foolishness...Or Is It Blog Postings you just might agree with me...Or would you?

I talk about a lot that is not political. Is it my fault that Foolishness is so often found in Washington D.C.? My political blogs are written because our nation’s capital is so often downright Silly.

Let’s check out my contention here and now. Below I will list the last 10 Blog Posting I published. Let’s see if they are about Everyday Foolishness or are they about Political Foolishness?

#1 Monday, January 17, 2022

When I Was Young I Would Often Hear Someone Say, “Time Marches On” But I Don’t Hear That Said Anymore

Not Political Foolishness! About foolish COVID prevention practices.

#2 Wednesday, January 12, 2022

Why Is The Stock Market Going Up While Everything Is Going Bad?

Not Political Foolishness! About ineffective COVID prevention.

#3 Monday, January 10, 2022

Amazon Is Asking Me To Do The Impossible To Prove I Am Me!

Not Political Foolishness! About ridiculous questions asked of me by Amazon on phone calls I made to Amazon.

#4 Saturday, January 08, 2022

I’m from the Federal Government and I’m Here to Help You

Not Political Foolishness! About the IRS telling us to report what we steal on our tax returns.

#5 Wednesday, January 05, 2022

COVID-19 Evolution

Not Political Foolishness! About the changing way we look at COVID-19.

#6 Tuesday, January 04, 2022

I Think the Shooter Be Given A Medal for Being A Nice Guy

Not Political Foolishness! About an intruder who shot a woman and then took her to the hospital for treatment.

#7 Monday, January 03, 2022

Masks Are The Answer...Or are they?

Not Political Foolishness! About COVID face masks.

#8 Friday, December 31, 2021

Stupid Is As Stupid Does/Was/Is

Not Political Foolishness! About our failing education system.

#9 Thursday, December 30, 2021

It’s A Lot Worse Than You Might Think

Not Political Foolishness! About our obsession with cell phones.

#10 Monday, December 27, 2021

.84 Ounces Is A Lot!

Not Political Foolishness! About the ingredients in my .84 ounce Millville Chewy Chocolate Chip Food Bar

Wow! This surprised even me. I got the idea for this Blog Posting on the spur of the moment. I expected that some of the 10 would be Political Foolishness.

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Now where was I? I forgot what today’s Blog Posting was intended to be about. Do any of you know? Hold on. I got it...

Voter ID Is Not Part of An Evil Conspiracy by Evil People To Do Evil!

I better be careful with this one. Voter ID has got to be political...Or might it not be?

We can all list many occasions where we must show a Photo ID to do something or gain entrance to some place or to buy something, etc. etc. etc.

I have an example where I have to show a Photo ID and I’m not sure I understand why I have to show it at all.

For more than 20 years I have been a regular donator of Platelets, Plasma and/or Red Blood Cells. The Process is called Apheresis. The products extracted are vital in treating many diseases and disorders including Cancer and Burn Victims.

Every time I check in to donate they ask me for a Photo ID and every time I say, “Are you worried I will give you someone else’s platelets?”

They don’t always think my joke is funny but I always laugh.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: If this Blog Posting convinces even one of My Dear Readers to become an Apheresis Donor this will be my Best Blog Ever!

Oh yea, while you are donating, they treat you very well by serving you from a fine selection of Cookies, Fruit Drinks, Popcorn, etc.

Click on this link to learn more about Apheresis... https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apheresis

When I Was Young I Would Often Hear Someone Say, “Time Marches On” But I Don’t Hear That Said Anymore

 

The reason we no longer say “Time Marches On” is because we are too busy saying, “The Pandemic Marches On”. The thing about this Pandemic Marching is there is often a touch of Silliness to its Cadence...

• I was watching an NBA Game a couple of nights ago and, during a game break, 2 players who were not dressed out for the game were talking to each other with their faces about a foot apart so they could be heard over the noise in the arena. Neither one of them had a mask on. They looked silly because, as each took his turn to talk, he would pull his t-shirt over his mouth before he did his talking at the other guy. This may be the Pandemic Prudent thing to do but it sure looked Silly to me.

I’m curious. Is COVID only spewed hanging on spoken words or is also spewed by breathing back and forth at each other?

• We had a Power Outage yesterday and my Power Company keeps me informed of what’s happening by Texting Messages like this one: “Our crews are following the CDC's recommended guidelines on social distancing. In the event a member of our team needs to work near your home, customers are asked to keep children and pets indoors and maintain the recommended 6 feet distance from crew members. Following these guidelines will help us ensure the health and safety of both our crew and our customers during this time. Thank you.”

I’m curious. Is this intended to protect the Power Company’s Worker from getting COVID from Our Pets or to protect Our Pets from getting COVID from the Power Company’s Worker?

• I always try to give My Dear Readers 3 bullets and I’ve mentioned this one before but I still see it almost every day. Why do drivers driving their cars with no one else in their car Drive with Masks On?
  

I’m curious. Don’t these drivers know they can prevent COVID from being sucked into their cars by driving with their heating or cooling systems on Recirculation Mode? Then, if they catch COVID from themselves, they will only have themselves to blame.

I’m curious. Am I this “smart” because I am a Wise Guy or because I am a Wiseguy?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Why Is The Stock Market Going Up While Everything Is Going Bad?

 

The Stock Market is going up because of the COVID Economy. Did you just ask, “What is the COVID Economy?” Glad you asked...

The COVID Economy is all around us but you have not noticed it because you do not notice things like I notice things. You may recall that I am The Noticer.

When something really bad happens some of us say to ourselves, “Wow! That is really bad!” Others say to themselves, “Wow! That is really a good opportunity to make money!”

For example, it could be as simple as Selling Flowers. When that building fell down in South Florida I bet there was a Flower Kiosk set up near the fall down site that sold flowers to people who wanted to buy flowers and go stick then in the fence surrounding the fall down site.

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So it is with COVID. The COVID Economy came about because Entrepreneurs (honest and dishonest) have come up with new ways to capitalize on the fact that COVID has all of us Petrified about COVID.

I could spend the rest of this day giving you examples of new COVID Economy Products but you would not bother to read them because you are busy hiding in your bedroom closet trying not to breathe.

I am aware that being in your bedroom closet and not breathing is hard (I feel your pain) so I will not drag this Blog Posting out but I will give you this single COVID Economy example because I think this one is funny and silly and I like silly.

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Wind Instrument Musicians in future years will not play their Wind Instruments very well because the “COVID Smart” people who control us have decided that Wind Instrument Musicians should limit practice on their Wind-Blown Instruments because their Wind-Blown Instruments are spewing out COVID Germ Stuff all over the Fruited Plain. (Practice Makes Perfect is a thing of the past.)

Or

In my Blog Posting of January 3, 2022 I sent you this information...

Cloth Masks are made of common fabrics that tend to be highly permeable. These masks were already worn before the C-19 pandemic in developing countries because they are inexpensive and can be used more than once. The CDC says they should be washed at least once a day, and washing them makes the fabrics even more permeable.

Keeping the above in mind, are you ready to spend your money on this below?...

May I point out this excerpt from the above excerpt from my January 3 Blog Posting which plainly says...

Cloth Masks are made of common fabrics that tend to be highly permeable.

My Dear Reader, that’s a Highly Permeable Cloth Covering on that Wind-Blown COVID Germ Spewing Instrument. Are you ready to stand in front of her Wind-Blown COVID Germ Spewing Instrument and take a few deep breathes because you are certain you are protected because of her Highly Permeable Cloth Covering?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Amazon Is Asking Me To Do The Impossible To Prove I Am Me!

Internet Security is a real and growing problem but the fight against Hacking needs to guard against Security Overkill. Asking me questions that I can’t know the answer to is Security Overkill.

At present the Hackers (Bad Guys) are winning! I find I have to spend a lot of my computer time jumping through Security Hoops. Before I can even get to the Security Hoops I have to make Phone Calls to answer Security Questions to prove that I am me, peck in Passwords, Passphrases and PINs, wait on hold for extended periods of time listening to awful music and listen to repeating messages telling me how important I am.

My problems with Amazon started about 3 weeks ago when Amazon Security got nervous about me not really being who I say I am. Eventually it got down to Amazon saying they were going to send me a Security Identification Text Message. I was supposed to respond with a 6-Digit code from the Text Message but the Text Message never came. Since I was not responding to the Text Message that I was not getting, Amazon would not allow me into my Amazon Account.

I ended up having to call Amazon over and over and talk with one of their Customer Annoyer Representatives. This happened on 5 different occasions and each call lasted between 30 and 45 minutes...

Ø The first Customer Annoyer Representative was a complete waste. She must have been hired 20 minutes before I called and had no idea how to help me. Her highest skill was having me repeat my email address 4 different times.

Ø The second sounded very confident that he had fixed my problem but he had not.

Ø The third sounded very confident that he had fixed my problem but he had not.

Ø The fourth made real progress in a completely different direction but he did not fix the problem either.

Ø The fifth continued along #4’s different direction and she Fixed My Problem!

Here are the kinds of hoops I was subjected to...

Ø I was asked my email address.

Ø I was asked the last 4 digits of my credit card number.

Ø I was asked the expiration date of my credit card.

Ø I was asked my mailing address.

Ø I was asked my birth date.

(I was waiting to be asked if I was the same sex today as the day I was born but that question never came up.)

You would think those 5 bullet points above would have been enough to prove that I was who I said I was but then it got really crazy...

Ø I was asked to recite the last 3 items I had purchased from Amazon!

Ø Who can remember the last 3 items they had purchased from Amazon?

Ø I can’t.

Ø You can’t either.

Ø I objected but my Customer Annoyer Representative held firm. He said he was required to ask whatever questions his computer screen put up in front of him and I could not get him to agree with me that this was an unreasonable question.

Ø If I could have gotten into my Amazon Account I could have told him the last 3 items I had bought from Amazon, but you may remember, this is why I had called him in the first place...I Cannot Get Into My Amazon Account!

Ø Since I could not answer this question he would have to ask me more questions.

Ø He then asked me what was the month and year that I first signed on to Amazon Prime!

Ø I have been with Amazon Prime for many many years and I had no idea what my sign-on month and year was.

Ø He said I should guess.

Ø I said March 2015.

Ø He started to move on to the next Security Question when I asked him if March 2015 was the right answer.

Ø He said he was not allowed to tell me.

Ø In other words I am not allowed to know my Private Information.

Now I feel really bad because I got a call from #5 Customer Annoyer Representative. She was in tears. She had been fired because I gave her an Excellent Rating in my Amazon Customer Satisfaction Survey. I am haunted by her tear-filled words just before she hung up on me, “How could you do this to me!”

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

I’m from the Federal Government and I’m Here to Help You

 

Look at the Top Center Column below. It might be too small. I’ll peck it out for you...

“Stolen Property. If you steal property, you must report its fair market value in your income in the year you steal it unless you return it to its rightful owner in the same year.”

Yes, My Dear Readers, the IRS actually tells us we must report what we steal.

Can’t you just hear Al Capone saying, “Yo, Vito, before New Year’s Eve remind me to return that money I stole last week from the Poor Box at Church. I wanna save on my taxes.”

What it does not tell you is that 20 minutes after the IRS receives your tax return you will be placed under arrest. You will charged with stealing and you will be charged with being stupid enough to tell the IRS that you stole.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

COVID-19 Evolution

I had an appointment on Tuesday January 4^th (yesterday) with my Primary Care Physician for my Semi-Annual Physical.

On Monday January 3^rd I received a phone call telling me that my Primary Care Physician had COVID and my appointment would have to be delayed until he returned.

I was also told that one of his 2 nurses had COVID and the other nurse’s son had COVID.

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If my Doctor and his nurse and his other nurse’s son had gotten COVID in the early days of The Pandemic here is what would have happened...

• There would be lots of weeping and gnashing of teeth because they all had been diagnosed with The Disease!
• The phone call would have speculated about whether my Primary Care Physician his nurse and his other nurse’s son would survive or not.
• Just to be on the safe side I would have been advised to begin planning on how I would go about getting a new Primary Care Physician who did not have The Disease!

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That was then and this is now...

I received a phone call telling me that my Primary Care Physician his nurse and his other nurse’s son had COVID and asking me if I would be available to come in on Tuesday the 11^th (exactly 1 week delay) for my Semi-Annual Physical.

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Those of my Dear Readers who have been My Dear Readers for awhile probably know what my next line is going to be...

The Times They Are A-Changin’

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

I Think the Shooter Be Given A Medal for Being A Nice Guy

I’ll let the News Article lay out my case for why this Mean Guy should be given a Medal for being a Nice Guy...

Home Intruder Shoots Woman, Then Takes Her to Hospital

By City News Service

January 3, 2022 Updated: January 3, 2022

SAN DIEGO—A 29-year-old woman was recovering Jan. 3 from a gunshot wound she suffered over the weekend during a home invasion in the Mountain View area, authorities reported.

A handgun-wielding man who is known to the victim forced entry to her residence in the 3800 block of National Avenue about 11:30 p.m. Sunday, according to the San Diego Police Department.

The woman tried to push the intruder out of her residence, and was shot during an ensuing struggle, SDPD Officer Sarah Foster said.

The shooter then took her to a trauma center for treatment of the non-life-threatening bullet wound, Foster said.

Police arrested the 28-year-old alleged shooter at the hospital, she said.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Masks Are The Answer...Or are they?

 

Trying to stop a Coronavirus Germ with a Cloth Mask is like trying to stop a Mosquito with a Page Fence.

My source for the information below is an analysis from JustFacts.com. It is 48 Pages Long, it has 20,273 Words in it and it contains a whole bunch of Pictures, Illustrations and Graphs. I did not come close to reading it all and you are not going to read it all either. Read as much as you like by clicking the link below...

https://www.justfacts.com/news_face_masks_deadly_falsehoods

What’s Up With Masks?

N95 Masks or Respirators are mainly intended to prevent wearers from inhaling fine aerosols and microscopic particles. These are supposed to be used only once, must meet strict filtration standards, and must be moldable to each user’s face to form a tight seal. Because N95s heavily restrict breathing and “may place a burden on an employee’s health,” OSHA requires employers to conduct a medical evaluation of each employee who wears them.

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Surgical or Medical Masks are primarily designed to prevent wearers from spraying liquid droplets and large particles on other people. The FDA’s Covid-19 guidance for these masks states that they cannot be labeled “for antimicrobial or antiviral protection” and cannot make “filtration claims” for particles of any size. Per a 2013 paper in the Journal of Occupational and Environmental Hygiene, surgical masks have “poor filtration” and a “poor fit,” and thus, they “cannot be expected to significantly reduce the inhalation of infectious aerosols.” They are supposed to be used only once.

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Cloth Masks are made of common fabrics that tend to be highly permeable. These masks were already worn before the C-19 pandemic in developing countries because they are inexpensive and can be used more than once. The CDC says they should be washed at least once a day, and washing them makes the fabrics even more permeable.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella