What If You Held A Hearing And No One Came To Your Hearing?

In our 9% Approval Rated Congress this happens all the time.

I just passed through the TV Room where my wife was watching a Congressional Hearing on CSPAN (I make a habit of passing through and never sitting down to watch CSPAN Congressional Hearings).

What caught my eye as I passed through was here was another hearing in process where the chamber was empty, except for the Chairman and the Testifier. 

Actually the Testifier was not there either because he was COVID Elsewhere. It looked to me like he was in a Taco Mac because of all the men jumping around behind him. Someone must have just scored a touchdown.

Because of my many trips to D.C. (usually wearing my potted plant outfit) I saw I actually knew the Chairman so I texted him. He was excited to get my text because he was having trouble staying awake and my ring a dingy jolted him back into a state where he looked to the CSPAN Viewership like he was interested in the proceedings before him.

He said he was trying to figure out how he could resign his Chairmanship without being accused of some major transgression of some regulation or stipulation or something or other. He said he was especially concerned about being put on trial for Treason. He did not think for a moment he was guilty of Treason but these days Senators and Congressmen are accusing each other of Treason a lot and he just does not want the hassle.

He started to get his dander (whatever that is) up. He said it was not fair that he was required to sit through these hearings just because he was the Chairman while others were free to stay back in their plush Congressional Offices and drink fruity drinks with little umbrellas in them and take naps or, better yet, take bribes.

At this point I had had enough of him and I started to make like the call had dropped by saying, “Hello. Hello. Are you there? I can’t hear you. Have we been cut off? Hello. Hello.”

His response was kind of sad. He said, “I know what you are doing. I get this from the folks back home a lot.”

And then he hung up the phone and I felt sorry for him all over again.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella