Where Have I Been?

It has been a long time since I blogged. I know (hope) you missed me and you probably have been thinking…

Ø I Gave up the Ghost. (Before moving on to the second bullet I searched “Gave up the Ghost” & found this… “Immediatly the angell of the LORDE smote him, because he gaue not God the honoure: And he was eaten vp of wormes, and gaue vp the goost”). Since I don’t like either worms or wormes, I decided to come up with other bullets that you might be thinking about me.)

Ø I decided to not blog any longer. (That’s not what happened.)

Ø I was not able to get on the Internet for 4 days. (That’s what happened.)

However, my Internet Service Provider performed like one of its TV Commercials and jumped right in and restored my Internet Service immediately. (That’s not what happened.)

Actually, I have had the Internet back for several days but I have been consulting with my Book Publishing Adviser about letting the world know about this whole awful experience by way of the publication of my second book.

We have decided on a title… 4 Days Is A Lot More Than 4 When Your Internet Service Provider Comes To The Rescue.

The title was easy. The rest of the time we were trying to decide whether or not we could keep it under 200 pages.

Here is what actually happened (in no particular order)…

Ø I got cut off while talking to my Internet Service Provider and had to call back (more than once).

Ø I was told that there were No Other Reported Problems with their service in my area.

Ø I was twice given a Definite Appointment Time but the technician did not show up.

Ø One time the technician showed up when I did not expect him.

Ø The first technician said he was from the Maintenance Department (remember “Maintenance Department”) and he confirmed that my Internet Service was not working (I told him I already knew that) and because it was not working he had to kick it up to Higher Level Technicians for repair.

Ø He left me to wait for the Higher Level Technician to arrive.

Ø When the Higher Level Technician finished his in-depth analysis he again confirmed that the Internet Service was not working but he said his department was not the department that should handle this particular type of repair and he would have to send in the Maintenance Department.

Ø I did not tell him that the Maintenance Department had already been here and had kicked it up to his department because I was speechless.

Ø He left me to wait for the Maintenance Department to arrive.

Ø While one of the Technicians was working on my problem, my next door neighbor came out of her house and said her Internet Service was not working. (Remember the second bullet above?)

Ø While another one of the Technicians was working on my problem, my neighbor from across the street came up and said his Internet Service was not working. (Remember the second bullet above?)

Ø All through these kept and not kept appointments I was receiving emails telling me that my Technician was going to be at my house between 8 and 9 PM.

Ø Near the end of the saga one of the Appointment Confirming Ladies told me that the 8 to 9 pm did not mean 8 to 9 pm but only meant that they would be out sometime that day between 8 am and 9 pm.

Ø On several occasions the Internet Service Provider’s Computer would call me and announce that it was calling to confirm an appointment and then put me on hold for anywhere from 25 to 50 minutes before a non-computer person came on the line to confirm the next appointment.

Ø On 2 occasions I got another Computer Call within 10 minutes of the Prior Computer Call’s Termination that made me wait me just as long as the Computer Call in the above bullet and the eventual non-computer person had no knowledge of the Prior Computer Call or the time confirmed by the Prior Computer Call.

All’s well that ends well…Or is it?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: The saddest part is, now that I can connect again to the outside world, the Talking Heads are still screaming at me and talking faster than my hears can hear the same way they were doing before my Internet Service Provider came to my rescue.