They Used To Announce, “Elvis Has Left The Building”. Now We Think To Ourselves, “The Mental Midget Has Not Left The Car”.

I saw it with my own eyes. I timed it on my Apple Stop Watch. I am here to tell you she was a certified (certified by me) Mental Midget.

 

At this point you are saying to yourself, “Self, what the heck is Fella talking about?”

 

I apologize. Sometimes I get carried away. Please allow me to walk this one back to the point of clarity.

 

I was pumping gas in a crowded gas station. On the other side of the pumps a lady pulled in but did not get out of her car right away and start pumping gas. Instead she started Texting. Right away the question hit me about how long she was going to Sit There and Text, so I started my Apple Stop Watch.

 

She sat there for 4 minutes and 17 seconds while the lady who had pulled up right behind her waited to get her gas. She looked like a nice person but, to my way of thinking, she was being discourteous and oblivious to the lady behind her.

 

I found myself thinking... Does she not know she can start the gas flowing and, while it is flowing, she can get her Important Texting done?

 

Important Texting means different things to different folks. Here are 3 examples of what passes for Important Texting in the mind of a Texting Obsessed Mental Midget...

Ø Do you wanna do lunch today?

Ø I’ve about had it with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I’m going to go into the grocery store right after I pump this gas and buy some ham and cheese. (It does not dawn on her that “after” she pumps her gas will never come if she does not start pumping her gas.)

Ø Did you hear that Agnes and Walter are calling it quits again?

 

What I found hard to believe was that the person behind her in line did not get out of her car and start shouting at the Sitting and Texting Mental Midget to Start Pumping Your Darn Gas! (Or some such words.)

 

Then I looked at the Potential Pumper behind her and saw why she was not shouting at the Not Pumping Person...The Potential Pumper Behind Her Was Texting!

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella