Question: “What Exactly Is It That You Are, Little Fella?” Response: “I’m A Despised And Feared Peanut.”

Being a Peanut used to be a wonderful thing. You were sought after for taste and nutrition. You got to sponsor TV Shows like Hopalong Cassidy. Howdy Doody had a special place for you on his show and children were thrilled to sit in The Peanut Gallery and make silly faces and wave at the camera.

 

That was then and this is now and now is tough on the Lowly Despised and Feared Peanut…

·       Airlines are afraid to serve peanuts because passengers might eat them, get sick and sue the airline or not get sick and still sue the airline for exposing them to Second-Hand Peanut Breath emitted by the peanut eating flyers.

·       Grocery store shoppers have sued grocers for having had to walk through aisles where peanuts are displayed. Testimony was given in court like this, “It was horrifying! I was texting my way through the aisle where the uncaring grocer had displayed peanuts in plain view for all to be exposed to and all of a sudden there they were … Peanuts! I was extremely offended and I actually felt threatened!”

·       (I did not make this one up.) My local Minor League Baseball Team (Gwinnett Braves) is having a Peanut Free Game. The promo goes like this…for one game we will create an environment where our fans with peanut allergies can come to the ballpark and enjoy a game to its fullest.

·       WhatDoYaWannaBet we will soon be seeing demonstrations to ban peanuts from all games? The proof of the Gwinnett Braves evil intent will be the fact that the team admitted to the hazards presented by Peanuts by having a Peanut Free Game.

 

It is awful! About the only “good” thing that comes out of all this is that a whole bunch of Lawyers got a whole bunch of new Lexus’.

 

Footnote to History: Most people think Jimmy Carter walked in his Inaugural Day Parade because he wanted to walk. Actually, his Peanut Mobile had not broken down, so he had to walk.

 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Lagniappe: If you want to quibble with me for using Lexus’ to denote more than one Lexus, click this link to see that I am not the only one confused about how to spell more than one Lexus…

http://www.cartalk.com/content/my-husband-and-i-recently-had-question-we-thought