Thursday, October 31, 2013

How To Live Forever

When I was in high school I had One Ball Point Pen at a time. It was a Parker T Ball Jotter. When I lost it, I scraped together $2.59 and bought another pen. I also was mad at myself for being so careless and having to come up with another $2.59. I always pledged I would never lose that new one but many times it just disappeared.

It just dawned on me! Maybe I did not lose it after all. I bet it was stolen by one of my classmates that did not have $2.59. I bet it was Carlo Spariscello!

Oh yea, back to How To Live Forever...

I just took note that I have an unbelievable number of Ball Point Pens all over my house. After I took note, I thought, if I had to use all the ink out of all those pens before I would be allowed to die, I would live a very long time, probably forever.

I went online to www.GodI’mReallyUpHere.sky and looked around at what Longevity Plans were being offered at this time. I found one that suited my interest to a tee. It’s called...

Live Forever Because You Won’t Die Until You Have Used Up All Your Ball Point Pen Ink

I was shocked and quite pleasantly surprised and signed up immediately!

What’s that you are saying? You think I am making this up? I thought I had proven my doubters wrong enough times in my storied past that this would not be happening again. I can hardly believe my dear readers sometimes!

OK, I am going to overlook your disbelief. I have my own incentive for looking the other way. If you go to the web site above and signup for Live Until Your Pens Run Dry Offer, I can have another ball point pen magically appear in one of my many pencil boxes. All you have to do is insert the Offer Code Box “Da Smartfella” and I miraculously get my extra pen. Please remember to put in the Offer Code!!!

After pecking in the 3 Exclamation Points above I took a break and watched the National News for 10 minutes. It only took those 10 minutes to make me change my mind. Please do not put me in that Offer Code Box!!! There is no way I wanna live forever.

I also just threw a whole bunch of pens into our family Goodwill Donations Box.

If you think you still do want to live forever, go right ahead and sign up but, my advice to you is, go watch TV News for 10 minutes before you finalize your decision.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

(451)

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Maybe I will get you a pen for Christmas and send it to you. I said maybe because it depends if I can get a freebie next time I go to the bank to pass a mortgage for it. You have to agree to stay alive and lucid until then.
The easier way is just do what I have done. I don't watch any TV news.

SmartFella? said...

You are not listening to me. I said I did not want any more pens.