Taking The “High” Road

According to the federal government...

• 8,400 Americans begin using drugs every day.
• 50% of them are under the age of 18.
• 68% of folks who become addicted to drugs begin with marijuana.

Two Too Bads...

• Too bad our heads do not turn left and right. If they did we could look around our collective selves and see what’s going on in the world around us. If we did look around collective ourselves, we could benefit from the mistakes made by the world and not repeat their mistakes... Or could we?... Or would we?
• Too bad we don’t have a 24 Hour News Cycle to feed us information about what’s going on in the world.

What’s that you say? Did you just say to your computer screen that I am all wet again because our heads do turn left and right and we do have a 24 Hours News Cycle?

I find this hard to believe because, if what you just said about what I just said were true, there is no way we would be moving more and more towards Legalization of Marijuana.

The world has experimented for us but we are determined to not see the awful result of their tinkering. We are determined to do what they did and trust the results will be different...

• In Holland, they sell pot in "coffee shops". The problem is their people have learned how to walk out of coffee shops. It seems the streets of Amsterdam, in particular, have become saturated with stoned people doing things outside that should not even be done inside.
• The Netherlands also passed a new law forbidding children from smoking pot IN SCHOOL. That's right, some of the urchins were getting high between classes. One teacher told the press it's hard to stop that when pot is being legally sold across the street, where hardcore drug addicts buy it and then sell it to the kids in order to get heroin money.
• In Portugal, they have legalized all drugs. The result: drug-related homicides have increased 40% and drug overdoses are up 30%.
• In Switzerland, drug-related deaths doubled and the health care system was overwhelmed after heroin was made legal in Zurich. The law was rescinded.

Did you notice the last part of the bullet above where it says, “The law was rescinded”? They took back their mistake. They said, “Oops!”

Over here in the Good Ole USofA we look right at their screw ups and say, “Dat’s Kool! Why can’t we be forward thinking like those European Type People?”

Here’s hoping we can learn to be clearer thinking in the future. That way we could learn from the steps they will take when they start putting their society back together and we could follow their example when we attempt to put our society back together.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Flickr Tags: marijuana,legalization of marijuana

The Non-Partisan Congressional Budget Office Is Always Right...Or Is It?

This happens all the time...

One side of an argument presents irrefutable, undeniable and conclusive numbers that prove that their position is irrefutably, undeniably and conclusively correct.

The interviewer seems skeptical and says, “Where did you get your numbers?”

The Position Taker confidently says, “The Non-Partisan Congressional Budget Office”.

The interviewer has no comeback because the numbers came from the Non-Partisan Congressional Budget Office.

The show goes to commercial break.

After the break a representative of the other side of the argument is sitting there smiling where the first side of the argument guy sat smiling before the commercial break.

The Other Side of the Argument Guy presents his argument using irrefutable, undeniable and conclusive numbers that prove that his position is irrefutably, undeniably and conclusively correct.

The interviewer really seems skeptical now and says, “Where did you get your numbers?”

The Other Side Guy confidently says, “The Non-Partisan Congressional Budget Office”.

The interviewer has no comeback because the numbers came from the Non-Partisan Congressional Budget Office.

There is the possibility that the first side utilized a systematized transitional projection to reach its irrefutable position and the second side had the benefit of synchronized monitored contingency that made their argument bullet-proof.

Are you saying to yourself, where did those buzzwords in the prior paragraph come from? I got them from the Non-Partisan Congressional Budget Office. That means they are absolutely correct even though they make no sense at all…

• Is the Non-Partisan Congressional Budget Office being paid off?
• Maybe one side or the other (probably both) are lying about the numbers they got from the Non-Partisan Congressional Budget Office.

I’m getting carried away again. Neither of those two bullets above is possible. Certainly the one about lying is not possible. Our Congress has never lied to us...Or have they ever?

Would I kid u?

The Smartfella

Flickr Tags: Non-Partisan Congressional Budget Office,Congressional Budget Office

Have I Ever Mentioned That Congress Knows How To Kick Cans Down Roads?

Our 18% Approval Rating (and falling like a rock) Congress had a year and a half to take action to fix the Sequester.

The Sequester was set up when a Super Committee of Congressmen and Senators (of both parties) could not come to any recommendations about anything having to do with our Fiscal Crisis.

In case you have forgotten what the Super Committee’s task was...

“The objective of the committee was to develop a deficit reduction plan over 10 years in addition to the $917 billion of cuts and initial debt limit increase of $900 billion in the Budget Control Act of 2011 that avoided a U.S. sovereign default.”

During the 18 months Congress had to avoid the Fiscal Cliff Congress did nothing to fix the Sequester.

After we officially went over the Infamous Fiscal Cliff, they passed the "American Taxpayer Relief Act" (Those guys come up with the greatest names).

This act has many confusing provisions. (Don’t they always have many confusing provisions?) One of the confusing provisions caught my eye, not because it dealt with the Sequester, but because it gives the Smartfella (that’s me) a chance to demonstrate to you why our 15% Approval Rating Congress (I told you they were falling like a rock) is just obsessed with Kicking Cans Down Roads...

“Sequester Delay for Two Months...Two-month “turn off” of the Sequester putting the new deadline at February 28, 2013. The intent of the delay is to give Congress time to work on a balanced plan to end the Sequester permanently through a combination of additional revenue and spending cuts in a balanced manner.”

They had a year and a half to address this issue. What did they do? They gave themselves another 2 months. That ought to be enough time...Or will it be?

Would I kid u?

The Smartfella.

Technorati Tags: Sequester,Budget Control Act of 2011,Kicking Cans Down Roads,Super Committee

What’s Sillier The Petition Or The Answer To The Petition?

Our present White House has established the We the People Petition Process. It is supposed to give all Americans a way to engage their government on the issues that matter to them.

It sounds worthwhile. It sounds noble. It sounds like it is the kind of thing that would make our Founding Fathers proud...Or would it?

After a certain number of signatures are received, administration people are assigned to write up a formal response. These assigned responders are either very angry to have to waste their time writing these responses or are having a hard time keeping from laughing as they try to make their response letter sound as if they really think the petitioners are not idiots.

There have now been enough petitions that are downright silly that we ought to cancel this Foolishness and, as Bill Clinton, was want to say, “Get on with the work of the American people”.

Some of the petitions are so foolish that even the Smartfella would have no part of them...

• Let El Paso secede from Texas and become part of New Mexico.
• Ask Governor Jerry Brown to Give California Ferret Owners a Fair Hearing.
• Deport everyone that signed a petition to secede.
• Let Atlanta secede from Georgia if Georgia secedes from the United States.

If the above are not enough evidence for the need to cancel this program, try this one on for size...

Star Wars Geeks have asked the Obama Administration to build a Death Star

The Death Star petitioners argued the project would create jobs and strengthen national defense.

The head of the White House Budget Office’s Science and Space Branch had to respond on behalf of the White House. For the love of heaven I hope this man had better things to do than peck out the White House’s Official Position on this silliness.

Here are some of the things he had to say...

• The Administration shares your desire for job creation and a strong national defense, but a Death Star isn’t on the horizon.
• The Administration does not support blowing up planets.
• The construction of the Death Star has been estimated to cost $850,000,000,000,000,000. We are working hard to reduce the deficit, not expand it.

Heck if I knew how to say all these zeros in words but I did hear on the radio that $850,000,000,000,000,000 is called 850 Quadrillion Dollars.

I wonder if China has 850 Quadrillion Dollars lying around that they could loan us?

Would I kid u?

Technorati Tags: We The People Petitions,Death Star

One More Won’t Hurt

Are you aware that if you only add one to anything over and over you will eventually end up with a whole bunch of some things?

Every time a New Regulation is created we lose our right to do something or are required to do some other thing that we might not want to do.

If there were only about 10 Regulations levied on us we could put them on a 3X5 Index Card, have it laminated and keep it in our collective pockets in order to stay on top of what we are required to do and not do.

The problem is we have to keep track of a lot more than 10 regulations. Of special interest is the State of California where 876 New Mandates went into effect on the same day last week.

How many mandates Californians actually have I do not know but I would bet they would never fit on a 3X5 Index Card.

This is actually not important because the California Legislature is a very forward thinking bunch. Years ago they passed a mandate that stipulated that 3X5 Inch Index Cards must be bigger than 3X5 Inches.

Whatever the total number of California mandates is they now have 876 more to keep track of as they go about their never-ending daily quest of trying to be Kool.

You just said to yourself that you think I am over reacting again. The thought probably just crossed your mind that every one of these 876 New Mandates is probably worthwhile.

If you really think so, I ask you to read the details below of just two of these new mandates and see what you think about their worthwhileness...

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Californians Can No Longer Hunt Bears with Trained Dogs...

Since I am always logical, this must, of course, mean that it is OK to hunt bears with Untrained Dogs.

Can you just imagine how many Forest Rangers Disguised as Bushes are going to have to be stationed throughout the Golden State to catch hunters who are using Trained Dogs?

The suspected offending dogs will have to be tested on the spot to determine whether they are trained or not. Just what the testing procedure is going to be is now in the hands of the Regulators. When they come out with their new set of Trained Doggie Determination Testing Procedures I will write a Foolishness...Or Is It to help you understand this new silliness. Check back with me later.

I have one final point I wish to bring up that the California Legislators did not foresee. Can you imagine how many Forest Rangers Disguised as Bushes are going to be eaten by bears once this mandate is fully implemented?

You never thought of this, did you? I can assure you that the California Department of Bear and Dog Interaction did not think of this factor either but, once they do, they will certainly implement a bunch of regulations.

I sure hope the bears are able to read the regulations that they are going to be required to abide by.

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I wish to apologize to you for the length of this posting but these are important issues that you need to know about.

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Limited Parking Next To Broken Parking Meters...

In California it is now against the law to park next to a Broken Parking Meter for more time than you could park next to the Broken Parking Meter if the Broken Parking Meter were not a Broken Parking Meter.

Stop and think about enforcement of this mandate. How are the enforcers of this regulation going to know how long the offending Californian has been parked next to the Broken Parking Meter?

Are they all going to be issued Stop Watches to catch the “offenders”. Are the police really going to stand there waiting for the hours to tick by before they write the ticket?

Once the standing by and the watching has started, will they have to finish the standing and the watching before they can go on to other transgressions of the law that might happen around them?

Criminals have proven long ago that they are resourceful. These bad guys will probably start robbing banks, mugging Californians, jay walking, carjacking with impunity all around the Standing and Watching Policeman knowing that the Long Arm of the Law is busy and, is therefore, powerless to stop them.

I have an idea for California. (I always have thoughts on how to fix the pressing problems of the day)...

Why not just fix the broken parking meters?

Would I kid u?

Technorati Tags: Parking Meters,California Regulations,California Mandates,876 New California Mandates,Trained Dogs

John Wayne Is Still Dead

(May 4, 2017…This is an old posting that I am experimenting with. I am modifying it to see if I can reinsert the pictures that disappeared from it back into it. The bottom line is you should ignore it. On the other hand, you can read it again because it is still interesting and still sad.)

Saturday, January 12, 2013

Sometimes I hear you saying out there that I do not know what I am talking about. I find that hard to believe but I am a realist.

On June 21, 2012 I blogged the posting reproduced below. After you read this enlightened bit of Foolishness you will see three pictures from my newspaper this morning that, without any further words, proves that I am a Smartfella.

Here is the posting...

Thursday, June 21, 2012

John Wayne Is Dead

This Blog Posting is coming to you from one of my Ruts (I’ve blogged about this before). The Rut under discussion here is the Feminization of Men.

 

We once had John Wayne to lead us. Now we are the stupid one in television commercials, our “heroes” in movies have to always have a three day growth of beard (so we will be sure they are males) and we are told that we ought to carry Man Bags (used to be called purses) to hold our stuff.

I will now bring this Foolishness…Or Is It? Rant to an abrupt end and use pictures to prove my point. Below you will find three pictures from a recent four day Fashion Event in London.

If a picture is worth a thousand words, these three pictures shout from the rooftops...

Case Closed...Point Proven...End of Discussion

It is not possible to picture John Wayne in one of these outfits.

I wish I were kidding you.

Here are today’s pictures...

Would I kid u?

All This Time Congress Has Had It Backwards

In our heart of hearts we all know that all of our elected members of Congress are completely honest, intelligent and strive every single day to do the right thing. Up until now their problem was they did not know which thing was the right thing.

In the past we have heard them referred to as Tax & Spenders. This was definitely not intended to be a compliment. However, it did not seem to bother them at all. Many times it seemed to spur them on to greater heights of Taxing & Spending. To us folks back home, this became a very taxing situation.

Times are a changing in our 14% Approval Rated Congress. These guys are nothing if they are not conscientious! They are always thinking of new ways to serve.

Effective with this new congress, Tax & Spend is a thing of the past. From now on it is going to be... Spend & Tax. This Make-It-Happen-Bunch is going to do what's best for us No Matter What the Cost and then they are going to tell us what our taxes are going to be...Retroactively.

Their New Motto has already been embroidered on their new Congressional Blazers...

We Know What’s Best!

I don't want to speak for the rest of you but this makes me feel good all over. As usual some of the Folks Back Home are questioning this Spend and Tax Policy (STP). The murmuring (once called chatter but now called twittering) by these folks caused Senator Foghorn to take to the floor to express his amazement...

“Mr. Chairman, I rise to express my complete befuddlement as to why some Folks can’t see the absolute logic of our new Spend and Tax Policy.

Just last night at Happy Hour, I and my colleagues were commenting how our Founding Fathers erred in allowing such people to be able to vote. We were elected to spend their money! We take this responsibility very seriously.

If I could remember which state I was elected from, I would head right back there and give them a piece of my mind.

It is perfectly logical that there is no way to know how much money we have spent until we have spent it. We all have known for a while now that budgeting is a thing of the past. We are now boldly going where no Congress has gone before into the Era of Retroactive Budgeting.

My only question to you, Mr. Chairman, is, why did it take us so long to progress to where we are now?

I ask for unanimous consent that we ignore these millions of malcontents back home and go to Happy Hour. Olives surrounded by gin are a beautiful sight to behold.”

Would I kid u?

Technorati Tags: Tax and Spend,Budeting

Perfecting Packaging

Getting into the Plastic Packaging which contains the stuff we buy causes many a cuss word to be uttered...

• We tug. This never works.
• We bang. This never works.
• We chop. This sometimes works but is entirely dependent on how big an implement we chop with. With things like meat cleavers extreme caution must be exercised on the down stroke to make sure we do not destroy the item we went all the way to the store to acquire.
• There are even special tools for opening such packaging that are sold in hardware stores and online. They really work but they do have the shortcoming of our needing the tool that is inside the packaging for opening the packaging containing the tool which we can’t open.

I never realized how much the people that create these packages are dedicated to their product until yesterday. I had finally succeeded in opening a maddening plastic package and was feeling flushed with success when I started hearing a recorded message coming from the destroyed packaging itself. It seems there was a computer chip embedded inside the packaging and, when I lifted my electronic thingy out of its molded plastic bedding, the computer chip was activated.

Some of you already know that the Smartfella has a photographic memory and here is exactly what the recorded message said to me...

“We at Acme Packaging take great pride in our craftsmanship. We are disappointed that you have actually succeeded in breaking through our Display Containment Packaging. You are obviously a highly skilled and determined consumer. Please take the time to complete our Consumer Survey. This will go a long way in assisting us in future package development. Always remember, we take our motto very seriously, No one gets inside anything we make!”

We need to know the answers to these important questions...

• How long did it take you to break into our packaging and retrieve your purchased product?
• What tools did you utilize?
  >Fingernails? (If so, how many did you break?)
  >Teeth? (If so, how many did you break?)
  >Did you utter cuss words? (If so, how many?)
  >Scissors? If so, we are obligated to inform you that use of scissors on our packaging is a violation of Federal Law. (Does this not tell you how strong our lobbyists are?) Your scissors violation will be held in strictest confident and we will not turn you in to the Feds.

We are making available to the buying public our Packaging Penetrator for only $14.99. For a $35 Surcharge we will ship the Packaging Penetrator to you unpackaged so that it may actually be of use to you.

Would I kid u?

Technorati Tags: Difficult to open packaging

Political Atrocity Right Before My Unbelieving Eyes

At this very moment our elected “leaders” in congress are debating the...

Fiscal Cliff Stop Gap Kick the Can Down the Road the Devil (those Rascals on the Other Side Of The Aisle) Made Me Do It Bill

I hope that, no matter what your political leanings are, you are as ashamed of this fiasco as I am.

I do not care if the end result of all this Foolishness in Congress tonight results in the finest piece of legislation in the history of the Good Ole USofA, the process stinks!

To ignore important legislation, Over and Over, and not take the issues up until the Very Last Minute (this time we even went over the very last minute) Stinks!

We are broken and I am not kidding u.

Technorati Tags: Fiscal Cliff,Fiscal Cliff Legislation,Fiscal Cliff Debate