The Money Is Rolling In

Each day I am being bombarded by ads on radio and television about how I can save $300 to $500 just by changing Auto Insurance Companies. This got me to “thinking” (I’ve got to stop doing this … I think).

If I can save just by changing, it will take about six to seven changes and I will find myself being paid to insure my car.

This could be a real economic boon to Car-Owning America but it will not be as simple as it now appears once the boon gets to booming. We will most certainly need Federal Intervention…

• We cannot have a situation where too many people pick the same company to be their last company because that is the one that will have to send a check (or an Electronic Funds Transfer).
• If this were to happen, that unlucky company would go out of business very quickly.
• The Federal Government will have to step in and set up a Computerized Rotational Last Company Selection Regulation (CRLCSR).
• This will bring order to a process that might otherwise become very chaotic.

Can’t you just hear one of our Congressmen saying…
“Once again Congress has come to the aid of the Folks Back Home! Without our timely action on this issue, some of our Auto Insurance Companies would have gone out of business very quickly. This legislation will insure that the all go out of business very slowly”.

Now is that not a lot better?

Would I kid u?

Construction of a Shower Stall with a View Toward Preventing Litigation

The health club where I am desperately trying to prevent my heart from attacking me has a brand new shower stall. Because I have a tendency to allow my mind to wander, I find this seemingly mundane plastic cleaning compartment quite interesting.

Here is what my wandering mind has been taking note of…

• The floor of the stall is constructed with a very gentle slope toward the center drain hole. This has been done to ward off law suits due to a person’s slippery foot slipping on the slippery floor if the slope were too sloping and thereby causing the showering person to slip and fall. If this were to happen, there would almost certainly be a lawsuit because the showering person slipped in lawsuit happy America.
• The floor of the stall is constructed without any kind of lip or ledge on the floor where the dirty person steps in to become clean. This has been done to ward off law suits due to the stepping in (or out) person tripping on the way in (or out) thereby causing the dirty (or now clean) person to trip and fall. If this were to happen, there would almost certainly be a lawsuit because the shower person tripped in lawsuit happy America.
• Because the slope is so gentle the water does not drain fast enough.
• What the water does do is build up and overflow out of the shower stall because there is no lip or ledge to prevent it from doing so.
• This results in water flowing out of the stall onto the tiled bathroom floor.
• The water on the tiled bathroom floor is waiting for the slippery clean foot to step onto it which will, any day now, cause a newly cleaned person to slip and fall which will almost certainly result in a lawsuit in lawsuit happy America.

At first I did not understand why that young trial lawyer was sitting outside the bathroom with his business card at the ready. Being sly, cunning and alert, it was not long before I figured it out. He is there waiting for the thud and the moan from inside the bathroom. He is there as a “public servant” to see that we get what’s coming to us (and to make payments on his Mercedes Benz) in lawsuit happy America.

Would I kid u?

Over There, You Are Evil ... Over Here, Okie Dokie

In the Wall Street Journal I read where a corporation is in trouble with the U.S. Justice Department and the U.S. Securities Exchange Commission about paying bribe money to foreign officials in order to do business in Africa, Asia and Eastern Europe.

This investigation has been going on since 2004 but will now be called to a halt because the corporation has agreed to pay $185,000,000 to our government.

I know those people up there in government are smarter than little ole me but does this not seem like they are paying a bribe in order to call a halt to a bribery investigation?

Yea, I know I am wrong ... Or am I?

Would I kid u?

Ever Heard Of A Boomerang Bullet?

Recently I saw an article about a happening in Europe that will most certainly have my dear readers chuckling and saying to their selves, “Self, he made up another one. He is not as good at disguising his made-up foolishness as he once was. He has lost his touch”.

I am going to see if I can make you believe this one anyway…

• In Switzerland an attorney went to court in defense of a 22-pound pike that fought a fisherman for 10 minutes before surrendering.
• The attorney is the only official animal lawyer in Switzerland.
• He became interested in animal rights at the age of 23, when an accident left him unable to speak for 10 days, helping him understand the plight of animals who can't express themselves.
• He wound up with the pike for a client when animal-welfare groups filed a complaint alleging animal cruelty in the fish’s epic battle with an amateur angler.
• He represents the interest of pets, farm animals and wildlife.
• The thinking justifying the need for animal lawyers galore is that: If people accused of mistreating animals can hire lawyers, the victims of such abuse are also entitled to representation.
• Serious animal cruelty is punishable by three years in jail
• Since the 1970s, Swiss animals have enjoyed greater protection than critters anywhere else in the world…
  o Prospective dog owners must take a four-hour course before buying a pet.
  o Social species including birds, fish and yaks must have companionship.
  o Bird cages and aquariums must have at least one opaque side to make the occupants feel safe.
  o The law specifies how to put down a sick fish: with a sharp blow to the head or immersed in water mixed with clove oil dissolved in alcohol.
  o You can't just flush fish down the toilet.
  o Scientists must consider the dignity of plants before embarking on experiments.

There was a referendum on March 7, 2010 that proposed to compel all of Switzerland’s cantons (member states of the federal state of Switzerland) to have an animal lawyer.

If the referendum had passed, animals would have had the right to be represented by lawyers in court. If the animals could not have afforded a lawyer, one would have been appointed at government expense.

The referendum was defeated but, based on my years as being a keen observer of foolishness, this issue will be back. Switzerland may have dodged a bullet this time but this is a Boomerang Bullet … it is turning around even as I peck out this Foolishness…Or Is It?.

Click here, if you have not had enough:
http://goldismoney.info/forums/showthread.php?p=2214783#post2214783

Here comes my Super Duper Foolishness … Or Is It? ...
If this referendum had passed, here is what we would have started to see in the world around us…

• Fishermen would be required to use hooks made out of stiff cardboard.
• Hand guns would be issued to all pets, farm animals, wild animals, fish and, of course, plants.
• Pet owners would be required to sleep in those little doggie houses with their best friends.
• Litter boxes … I’ll leave this one alone.

Would I kid u?

Talking On A Cell Phone While Doing Other Things

Every day that goes by cell phones are more a part of our lives.

The other day I saw a lady in a coffee shop who was talking on a cell phone while she was reading a book. That was a first for me but she seemed to be handling her dual chores with ease.

In the past I have seen the likes of…

• Talking on a cell phone while driving a car.
• Talking on a cell phone while using any number of different pieces of exercise equipment in a gym.
• Talking on a cell phone while tennis matches are being interrupted because one of the players got a call and the other players have to watch and wait.
• Mommy talking on a cell phone in a restaurant while her little darling child runs around annoying the other diners. This is called bonding (Defined as: A relationship that usually begins at the time of birth between a parent and offspring and that establishes the basis for an ongoing mutual attachment).

What does the future have in store our divided-attention world?

• Talking on a cell phone while doing brain surgery.
• Talking on a cell phone while being knighted by Queen Elizabeth II.
• Talking on a cell phone while your six year old son directs traffic at a major metropolitan airport.

That’s progress…Or is it?

Would I kid u?

Heaven Forbid We Should Do Any Such Thing

Another day in the Middle East…

• Someone blows up a whole bunch of people.
• One side is accused of blatant unmitigated discrimination against the other side.
• The several militant groups on one side turn against each other instead of directing their hate against the other side.
• Someone blows up a whole bunch of people.
• One side makes speeches vowing to wipe the other side completely off the face of the Earth.
• One side is reported to be on the verge of lunching an air strike against the other side.
• Someone blows up a whole bunch of people.

Cooler heads now step in to do their prevailing. One of the cooler heads makes a speech in which something like this is said…
“It is very important that this proposes plan of action should not be put into effect. If that were to happen, it might destabilize the entire Middle East”.

Heaven forbid that anyone should destabilize the Middle East because, up until now, it has been so peaceful.

Would I kid u?

If It Sounds Familiar … It’s About To Change

There are some people whose primary objective in life is to change things. The question I am trying to answer is are we better off after the Changers have done the Changing or are we just plain Confused.

Don’t know what I am talking about? Allow me to explain myself…

• “Meeting” now has become “Meetup” … Why bother? Is this better?
• “Increase in Taxes” now has become “Revenue Enhancement” … I fully understand the reason for this. It is Taxpayer Deception.
• “Tax Cut” has now become “Lost Revenue” … (See above bullet).
• “Adultery” has now become “Encounter with Another Person” … Adultery had a smutty connotation but an Encounter is just one of those things. Heck, Cole Porter even wrote about it in 1935. He was way ahead of his time.
• “Suspect” has now become “Person of Interest” … It took a lot of TV Detective Show watching for me to figure this one out.
• “Gas Tax” has now become “Road User Fee” … (See reference to Deception above).
• What was formerly known as “Pork Barrel Projects” and then became “Earmarks” has now become “Budgetary Tools”.

Here is what got me going on this subject…

• Recently my newspaper informed me of a story involving a Fire Chief that was on his way to the scene of an accident.
• While he was on his way to the accident, he died.
• Did he die of a heart attack?
• Did he die because he had his own accident?
• Did he die because he had a stroke?

I can’t tell you why he died because it was reported that he died of a “Critical Medical Episode”. Do you know what that is? I don’t. I can guess but why should I have to guess? Is it not the task of our News Media to take the guesswork out of our information seeking?

The purpose of communication is to communicate. This is really not that complicated. Here are some of the ways in which we communicate: Talking … Emailing … Twittering … Texting … Mailing Letters (remember them?) … Sign Language.

The last category above has a subcategory called, Hand Gestures. These may be the only means of communicating that cannot be obfuscated. There is no doubt about your having been communicated with if someone sends a Hand Gesture your way.

Would I kid u?

We Are Great At Naming Laws

When our rulers in Washington, DC decide that they are going to create a law the first thing they do is spend lots of our taxes trying to come up with a real neat name for the law.

I used the word “neat” in the above paragraph. Many times the word “deceptive” can be substituted for “neat”. The objective is to sell us on the justification and/or dire need for law in the name of the law.

The same holds true where I live. In 2006 my home state passed a law called Georgia Security and Immigration Compliance Act. With a name like this the vote was assured as soon as the naming was done. Who of us could be against Security?

Now we find out, four years later, that the law’s name has tricked us, again…

• The law did not provide any funding for auditing of contractors.
• Since there was no funding, there was no auditing.
• If there had been funding for auditing and if auditing had actually been performed to determine if contractors were complying with the law, there are no penalties provided in the law for failure to comply with the law.

What if our Income Tax Laws were written by the geniuses that wrote the Georgia Security and Immigration Compliance Act? We would have our beloved IRS trying to enforce tax collections with something like this…

• Citizens must pay their taxes.
• No one will ever check to find out whether or not you paid your taxes.
• If anyone in the government ever did find out that you did not pay your taxes, there are no penalties in the law for not paying your taxes.
• If any member of our government ever did find out that you had paid your taxes, a team of tax-payer funded psychiatrists will be send out to examine your head.

I admit I got carried away with this last part … Or Did I?

Would I kid u?