Tuesday, March 06, 2018

I’m Offended At What You Just Said And I’m Also Offended At What You Did Not Just Say Not To Mention I’m Offended By What You Might Have Said When I Was Not Around To Hear You Say It And Be Offended By What You Said When I Was Not Present To Hear You And Be Offended By It

Do you realize how often an Offense Sensitive Person can get offended? I can’t put a number on it but I can tell you when it will happen...

It will happen every time anyone says anything the Offense Sensitive Person does not think ought to be said.

To avoid hearing something with which he does not agree, the Offense Sensitive Person needs to protect himself and the Fella knows that help on the way.

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The Fella has become aware of an Ingenious Idea that will protect Offense Sensitive People and it involves the use of Virtual Reality Glasses.

I have been in contact with several of the companies who manufacture Virtual Reality Glasses and I found out that they are all feverously working on the same Earthshaking Idea. The one that perfects it and patents this Breakthrough Technology first is going to make a lot of money.

They were very open with me about the progress they are making and they told me everything but they did make me swear to secrecy. I am going to tell you, My Dear Readers, because I know I can trust you to not tell anyone...

Ø There see fortunes to be made by addressing the consternation that Offense Sensitive People experience every day, especially on College Campuses.

Ø Most of you probably know about the built-in feature in Word Processing Computers that corrects for Typing Errors. In Microsoft Word it is called Auto Correct.

Ø I see that one of you does not know what I am talking about. Allow me to give him a few examples...
> If you type the word “their” incorrectly as “thier” your computer automatically corrects it to “their”.
>
If you type the word “that” incorrectly as “taht” your computer automatically corrects it to “that”.
> If you type the phrase “I like that car” incorrectly as “I like tha tcar.” your computer automatically corrects it to “I like that car”.

Ø The researchers in this area believe they ought to be able to use this technology in Virtual Reality Glasses to protect Offense Sensitive People from having them hear Opinions and Logical Lines of Reasoning that might expose them to the possibility they might change their minds about their Set In Stone Opinions and Peer Influenced Beliefs. Allow me to explain how this will work...
> Those who are Offense Sensitive People will have to wear Offense Sensitive People Protection Virtual Reality Glasses anytime they are close enough to any other person to hear that other person speak.
> This needs to be an absolute requirement of their every day existence.
> It can never be left to chance that they let their guard down because they think that the approaching person is someone they feel thinks exactly the same as the Offense Sensitive Person thinks.

> Offense Sensitive People Protection Virtual Reality Glasses will be programmed to change incoming lines of thought that are different from the mindset of the Offense Sensitive Person
to be exactly the same as the mindset of the Offense Sensitive Person.
> Use of this amazing advancement will make sure that Offense Sensitive People everywhere are never exposed to any thinking that is not in line with their own thinking.

I took a giant step toward believing that Offense Sensitive People Protection is an idea whose time has come after I attended a My Opinion Is the Only One That Matters Protest on a local college campus last Thursday.

Then and there I also became convinced that there was a lot of money to be made selling Virtual Reality Offense Sensitive People Protection Glasses when I heard one of the speakers at the protest shout to the wide-eyed protesters that surrounded him...

I was dumbfounded! I could not believe that a Teaching Professor of this university would dare say something that I did not agree with! I had an almost over powering urge to walk out of his classroom but I knew I needed an A in his class to complete my degree in Square Circle Implementation Technology. I just sat there and kept saying over and over… How can he dare to say such things? I can’t bear to listen to him. It’s just not fair that deaf people have it so easy!

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I represent that!!

AND I am upended (or something like that)!!

Anonymous said...

Would the glasses work so the party could not see a ROBERT E. LEE statue at Lee Circle?