Misleading Headlines Try To Trick Readers Into Reading What The Writer Has Written

 

Here is a good Attention Getting Headline example...

Steve Kerr Had Words for Anthony Edwards After Warriors-Timberwolves Series

Does this not sound like Kerr had harsh things to say to Edwards? It sure sounds that way to Fella. “Had Words” means somebody is mad at somebody and wants to Straighten Somebody Out, Gave Somebody A Piece of His Mind, Told Somebody How The Cow The Eat The Cabbage (Louisiana talk), etc.

In our Internet World today that’s not what’s happening. They (whoever “they” are) desperately want us to read what they want us to read. Why? Because somewhere in what they want us to read is an opportunity to give them some of our money, just laugh at us because they frustrated us, got us to waste our time reading their stuff and/or they are just mean people.

The people who create headlines for Internet Articles often use deception and controversary to get us to read their articles.

Let’s face it, Controversy Sells!

Below are the actual words of the article about Steve Kerr and Anthony Edwards referred to above that I wasted my time reading:

“Shortly after the final buzzer, as the players on both sides exchanged pleasantries following a hard-fought series, Kerr was seen exchanging words (Oh My Gosh! He must have really been mad!) with Edwards on the court. 

It looked like the Warriors shot-caller (This is the first time I have ever heard a Head Coach called a “shot-caller”.) was congratulating (Congratulating? The article headline said he had words for Edwards! Isn’t “having words” a confrontation?) Edwards for an incredible series in what was an endearing moment (“Endearing?” Tom Hanks is visiting with me today and he just said, “There’s no ‘endearing’ in basketball!”) between them. 

While the mics were not able to catch exactly what was said during their brief exchange, what is clear is that there's nothing but mutual respect between the two.” (Did you hear that gagging sound? That’s Fella gagging!)

What’s next? Are we going to be told that all those precision bombs our pilots just dropped on Iran missed the target and blew up Toledo!?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Another Record Is Set

 

I was born more than 80 years ago. Television was born not long after I was born. We got our first TV in the early 50’s. It was not long before the TV Weatherman was invented. The first day he was inside our TV, the Weatherman told us it was hot outside, and to prove it, he told us the outside temperature. We wondered why he was bothering telling us it was hot outside and what the temperature was outside because we knew it was hot outside because it was July and we were in New Orleans and it was always hot outside in New Orleans in July.

The TV Weatherman seemed pleased with his newfound ability to alarm us by telling us the outside temperature and alarming us. It was not long before the TV Weatherman was heard to say, “This is a new Record High Temperature”. The first time he said this was the second day he gave us the temperature (he was comparing the second day’s temperature to the first day’s temperature).

Do you get my drift? My drift is all these years later does it not seem like the TV Weatherman is all too often telling us that today’s temperature is a new high temperature (in summer) and a new low temperature (in winter)? Is it possible that we can set new high/low temperatures every year?

Shazam! I just figured it out. The TV Weatherman is leaving out a few words from his Dire Temperature Alarm Warning. His computer tells him about the places in the Good Ole USofA where the temperature has set a record and he leaves off where the record was set.

Here are 3 examples of his striking through trickery to arrive at another record...

• This is a Record High Temperature for today in Altoona, Pennsylvania.
• This is a Record Low Temperature for today in Palookaville, Montana.
• This is a Record High Temperature for today in Social Circle, Georgia.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: Did you take notice of Palookaville in the second bullet above? Palookaville is actually a town in Montana. It is named after Joe Palooka. You don’t know (remember) who Joe Palooka was? Joe Palooka was an American comic strip about a heavyweight boxing champion, created by cartoonist Ham Fisher. The strip debuted on April 19, 1930, and was carried at its peak by 900 newspapers. It was cancelled in 1984. The strip was adapted to a 15-minute CBS radio series, 12 feature-length films, nine Vitaphone film shorts, a 1954 syndicated television series, comic books and merchandise, including a 1940s board game, a 1947 New Haven Clock & Watch Company wristwatch, a 1948 metal lunchbox featuring depictions of Joe, Humphrey and Little Max, and a 1946 Wheaties cereal box cut-out mask.

It’s In There!

 

In 1981 Campbell Soup Company introduced Prego Sauce. From the beginning their advertising pitch was, “It’s In There”!

Click below and enjoy one of Prego’s classic commercials...

https://youtu.be/2J87QekxQVI?si=FEQtmReta43bu251

Prego had garlic, little bits of herbs, onions and seasoning (for that homemade taste).

Today there are a growing number of products proud to advertise all the things that are Not In There. That is because we are afraid of what we eat (it does not seem to slow down what we are eating). 

Many food producers are obsessive about telling us to buy their product because it will not kill us.

On the other hand, many of us take comfort in saying to ourselves, “It will only make me fat” (which will kill us).

I just bought a new Breakfast Cereal that is obsessed about what they Do Not Put In There...

• They start off by telling you that it does not have grain in there.
• Silly me, I thought all breakfast all cereals had grain in there.
• Not my new cereal. My new cereal brags that it is an, “Organic Grain-Free Cereal.”
• Are they really saying that it has Grain but it is Grain-Free because they do not charge you for the Grain That Is In There?

Then they go into an extensive list of what their cereal does not contain...

• It does not have Refined Sugar.
• It does not have GMOs (whatever that is?).
• It does not have Artificial Dyes.
• It has Nothing Artificial in it.
• It does not have Seed Oils.
• It does not have Glyphosates (whatever that is?).
• It does not have Gluten. This one has been around for years. 80% of Americans are on a Gluten-Free Diet and 65% of that 80% do not know what Gluten is.

Fella’s Questions of the Day… Is there anything in there? It sure looks like there is nothing left that could possibly be in there. If there is nothing in there, why would any fella, let alone The Fella, spend money to buy a Breakfast Cereal that did not contain anything?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

The Old Days Versus The New Days

The New Days…

Zoe Saldaña won the Oscar for supporting actress for her performance as a lawyer who helps with the gender transition of a transgender drug lord.

Compare the above to a description of Shane below.

The Old Days…

Shane contains something more than the beauty and the grandeur of the mountains and plains, drenched by the brilliant Western sunshine and the violent, torrential, black-browed rains. It contains a tremendous comprehension of the bitterness and passion of the feuds that existed between the new homesteaders and the cattlemen on the open range. And it also contains a wonderful understanding of the spirit of a little boy amid all the tensions and excitements and adventures of a frontier home.

Does it surprise you that I prefer the old days?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Mao Wrote a Little Red Book. Fella wrote a Little Read Book.

Around $10 Is Not Much Money for What Might Be the World's Greatest Bathroom Book!

After you have bought my book (or not), send this information to your friends (or enemies who have around $10) who might be smart enough or silly enough to buy my book (I don't care which it is).

Below is the Amazon Link where my book can be purchased...

Once inside Amazon, click on "Read Sample" under the picture of the book and you can read a few pages.

After you have read a few pages and had a good laugh or two, add it to your cart and buy it.

Also available in a Kindle Version ... Click here

I've heard that Justin Bieber reads my entire book every day (that is a complete lie that I made up so I could say I heard it).

I hope you will enjoy my book.

FellaO

Lagniappe: I self-published my little-read book. Self-publishing a book means that no one knows you published your book who you do not tell that you published your book. After you run out of relatives, friends, enemies (who have around $10) and anyone who just plain feels sorry for you (who have around $10) your book sales dry up. Then you just might resort to begging for sales (which is what this Blog Posting is).

The Question of the Day

In September of 2017, Equifax announced a data breach that exposed the personal information of 147 million people. Now Equifax has agreed to a global settlement with the Federal Trade Commission, the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau and 50 U.S. states and territories. The settlement includes up to $425 million to help people affected by the data breach.

I am being told that I am one of the 147 million people who have been harmed by Equifax’s Carelessness and I am due my share of the $425 Million. Yahoo! I am rich...Or am I?

I almost forgot to remember The Question of the Day (Subject of this Blog). The question of the day is, How Much Did the Lawyers Get? They worked hard to get me my Fair Share which is $7.44...Or did they?

Fella’s Wondering Department...I am not going to bother filing for my $7.44. There will probably be millions of us who will not bother also. I wonder if all that unclaimed money will go into a lockbox and somewhere down the road that box will be unlocked and the lawyers will get that too?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

A Football Emergency Has Been Declared By The National Football League

It seems like only yesterday that the NFL was flying high as a kite. Now they are in imminent danger of going out of business. Did you just say to yourself, "Self, how could this have happened so quickly?" 

It's very simple. The NFL must have Football Players to play Football and they are fast running out of Football Players.

Am I going too fast for you? OK, I'll slow down...

• In the past, 99% of the NFL Football Players came from College Football.
• A few years ago, College Football started to change.
• Some people who wanted to make a lot of money started agitating that it was not fair that College Football Players had to practice a lot and really work hard all through their College Careers and all they got was...
  >Free college education.
  >All the free food they could eat.
  >Free accommodations that rivaled the kind of palaces that middle-east Oligarch hang around in. 
  >Beautiful coeds hanging all over them.
  >Lots of mystery money and really nice cars (even though they had no salary).
  >Had to go to a class every so often.

Before we football fans knew what was going on, all that changed...

• It was decided that College Football Players were entitled to make money off of their Name, Image, and Likeness (NIL).
• Since the NCAA approved NIL rules in 2021, athletes have secured agreements with brands, enabling them to monetize their popularity and skill. (Sometimes called their "Personal Brands".)
• Next thing we knew, all rules about transferring schools and tampering with another schools recruited players had been thrown out the window.
• During College Games we began hearing the commentators saying things like, "Bruiser has been to 4 schools during his 3 years in College". 
• We started hearing College Players saying to each other, "What's that song they are singing?" Response: "That's your school's Alma Mater." Response back, "What's an Alma Mater?"

This is near the bottom of this Blog Posting, so here is the Bottom Line...

The NFL is going out of business because it is running out of Football Players coming out of College because the Football Player are retiring rather than go to the NFL because they have all the money they will ever need.

Bruiser said it best: "Why should I go into the NFL? Someone might knock me down and give me a Back Wallet Contusion".

I'll save you having to Google "Back Wallet Contusion"...

A Back Wallet Contusion happens when a person with a very thick wallet falls down, lands on his wallet and causes his Spinal Column to go out of alignment.

In case you are wondering, now that College Football Player are so rich, will they have to pay for their College Educations? The answer is No.

One final point. That last Bullet Point at the top of this Blog Posting that says, "Had to go to a class every so often"...That requirement has been scratched. 

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: During a future College Football Trial on something or other, the Sitting and Listening Attorney hears the Pontificating Attorney say something that confuses him, so he says to his Minion Backup Attorney... What was that word he just used? Quick! Google, "unethical"! And while you are Googling, look up, "School Spirit", "Loyalty" and ''Alma Mater"!

Special Fella Note:

Tired Of Going To Foolishness...Or Is It? Web Site Only To Find Out That A New Blog Posting Has Not Been Published Yet.

If You Will Send Fella Your Email Address by EMail (zooombuggy-forii@yahoo.com) or by Comment to  a Blog Posting, He Will Put You On The Foolishness Notification List.

If Later You Want Off, No Problem. 

Fella Can Handle Rejection.

Send Request to be Removed to zooombuggy-forii@yahoo.com.

Is It A Rule That, If You Are Not Eligible To Participate, But You Sneak In, You Are You Entitled To Stay?

On Fella's Foolishness Scale This Blog Posting Registers As Not Very Foolish

Congress is abuzz about the Members who want to Cut Medicaid Spending.

Is it a Cut to Medicaid if you stop Medicaid Funds from going to people who are not entitled to Medicaid?

I Heard a New York Congresswoman On TV Make These Points:

• In New York State 5 million people are Eligible for Medicaid.
• In New York State 8 million people are Collecting Medicaid.
• That’s 3 million who are Collecting Medicaid who are Not Eligible for Medicaid.
• Medicaid paid $40 Billion for these 3 million Ineligible Recipients of Medicaid Funding.

(Are you saying to yourself New York need not care about the cost of Medicaid because the money for Medicaid comes from the Federal Government...Or does it?)

• Actually, State and Local Governments pay half of the cost of Medicaid Expenditures.
• That means New York paid $20 Billion (its half) and the Federal Government paid $20 Billion (its half).

Now you know. What do you want to bet that some of our representatives in both the States and Federal Governments who are poking holes in the air when they stand up and talk about Medicaid do not know what you now know?

************

It’s not Exact Science...

New York’s Medicaid program is funded through a combination of federal, state, and local dollars. The federal government reimburses 50% of most New York Medicaid costs, with higher matching rates for ACA (Obamacare) Medicaid expansion costs and other special circumstances, which is why the visualizations show the federal proportion as greater than 50%. ^*

Click on this link below only if you have burning desire to become confused...

^{*Source: https://uhfnyc.org/our-work/initiatives/medicaid-institute/dashboards/new-york-medicaid-expenditures/}

************

Since we are at the Bottom of this Blog Posting, here is The Bottom Line...Many are complaining about the people who want to cut Medicaid. Fella’s question of the day is, Is cutting payments to people who are Not Eligible for Medicaid really “cutting” Medicaid?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: These are big numbers but these are only one state’s numbers. If we were to try and wrap our heads around all 50 states and all 50 states had the same Ineligible Medicare Recipient Payment Problem, would you not agree that we are talking about some Really Big Numbers!

Cut To The Chase

 

Theodore Roosevelt definitely Cut to the Chase. The College of Cardinals definitely did no cutting until they had lost a lot of weight and they had snow on their hats. 

************

Teddy wanted to build the Panama Canal. He knew, if he turned the Build or Not Build Decision over to Congress, it would take a long time and he was not of a mind to wait around for that long a period of time. So, he said this...

“My own part in it may perhaps be explained by the fact that I deemed it better not to have half a century of debate prior to starting in on the canal; I thought that instead of debating for half a century before building the canal it would be better to build the canal first and debate me for a half-century afterward.”

Do you not agree that not waiting for Congress to act was the right decision?

It’s been more than 100 years. Do you not agree that our Congress has not changed?

************

An Interesting Fella Sidetrack... The 1268–71 papal election (from November 1268 to September 1271), following the death of Pope Clement IV, was the longest papal election in the history of the Catholic Church.

Politics ruled and the Cardinals could not agree on a Pope for almost 3 years.

The selection process still continued to drag on for more than a year after the magistrates of Viterbo locked the cardinals in, reduced their rations to bread and water and had the roof of the room they were in removed (exposing the Cardinals to the elements) while they continued to poke holes in the air with their collective fingers.

************

Maybe it was easier back in 1370 because there were only 18 Cardinals involved in the selection of the Pope...maybe.

Today there are 252 cardinals in total, but only those under the age of 80 can take part in the conclave.

While that means that 135 cardinals are eligible to vote, two have announced they will not travel to Rome, leaving 133 cardinals to participate in the conclave.

Let’s get back to December 29, 1370...

• On the first ballot in the morning Pierre Roger de Beaufort was unanimously elected Pope.
• He initially opposed his own election but eventually accepted and took the name of Gregory XI.
• On January 2, he was ordained to the priesthood.
• On January 3, he was consecrated Bishop of Rome by the Dean of the College of Cardinals.

Wham bam, thank you, ma'am!

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: Let’s hope there is not a spoil sport out there somewhere who points out that, Canon law stipulates that any baptized, unmarried man is technically eligible to become pope. Someone better close all the windows because Planet Earth has a lot of unemployed baptized unmarried men who just might throw their hats into the ring and then this conclave too might drag on and on.

Everything Is Dangerous! (I'm publishing this blog again.) (Third, and last publication of this Blog Posting.)

There was a time when I knew more about computers than my son did. That time is long gone. Thanks to my son for this fix.

This You Tube link will work... https://youtube.com/shorts/xc3dfATxNlM?si=ZKgqs-ZNUNXyv5ES

Sorry about all the confusion.

************

The question of the day is...

Would This Bird Still Be So Dangerous If We Did Not Have So Many Lawyers?

I first ran into this bird when I was about 10 years old. Actually, I did not run into it. It was put in front of me by a relative who was not related to me. It was my Aunt Betty.

I was immediately fascinated by this Classic Wonder of a Bird. Actually, I may have messed up by saying, “Classic Wonder”. I was trying to quote the box in which My Bird came. I might as well be exact because the box is sitting on the table right next to where I am Blog Pecking...

“This classic novelty is a scientific wonder, using the properties of thermodynamics to keep in constant bobbing motion.”

************

Back to my Aunt Betty who was not my Aunt. She was a neighbor who lived around the corner from our family’s grocery store. She got into our store by coming through the family gate that separated our homes. She would appear every day coming through the gate, then through the back door to our grocery store, to sit on her stool that was always waiting for her and shortly thereafter she would be handed a small bottle Coca Cola.

************

Back to Aunt Betty not being related to us. In many ways she was more than an Aunt because she was my Aunt Betty. To this day, when I say my prayers at night, I say the names of those I want God to pay attention to. First is my Mother, second is my Father and third in line is my Aunt Betty. She has been deceased 74 years but, just in case, I keep her right up there at number three. God must be really busy, if He has not paid attention to My Aunt Betty, after 74 years of my mentioning her name to Him.

************

Does this little birdie look harmless? The Lawyers do not think it is in the least harmless. On the contrary, they think it is downright dangerous and they warn us about its dangers all over its little box...

1. Choking Hazard – Small Parts.
2. Not for children under 8 years.
3. Use with adult supervision.
4. This product is not a toy.
5. This product is not intended for use by children (kind of obsessed with children, don’t you think?).
6. Avoid breaking glass.
7. This product contains methylene chloride.
8. This product will stain clothing.
9. This product will stain other surfaces.
10. Do not swallow this product.
11. Do not allow this product to come in contact with eyes.
12. Keep this product away from flames.
13. Keep this product away from other heat sources.
14. Is this one a warning? ... The drinking bird is nonflammable.

Fella Observation: The Glock G17L Gen5 MOS Pistol does not come close to 14 warnings...

Glock G17L Gen5 MOS Pistol's WARNING: Can expose you to lead, a carcinogen and reproductive toxicant.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: Glock does not mention that it can put holes in you. If they did that, it would prima facie evidence that the G17L Gen5 MOS was dangerous and then Glock would really be in deep doo-doo.

The Good Doctor Is Asking For Help

 Artificial Intelligence (AI) is all the rage. It is going to be wonderful. It is going to fix everything. It has no downside.

Fella is here to say Fella is worried and he does not believe all the hype above. He is worried that one day we may be told that much of AI is AF (All Foolishness).

I gave AI an assignment. I asked it to write a short story about a red-headed boy with freckles who won the Kentucky Derby at the age of 15. 

What I got back was impressive. AI came through and did a remarkable job of giving me exactly what I had asked for in less than 30 seconds, complete with a very nice use of words (you know how I love words) but Fella is still worried.

************

First read the AI Slick Story (bolded text below) and then read the Fella Worry Part below that...

In the rolling hills of Kentucky, a young boy named Finn McCarthy dreamed of one day becoming a jockey. With his fiery red hair and a face full of freckles, Finn was a spirited youth, known for his unwavering determination and deep love for horses.

Finn’s family owned a modest farm adjacent to a renowned horse trainer’s estate. From a young age, Finn would sneak over to watch the majestic thoroughbreds train, mimicking the jockeys’ stances and movements. Recognizing the boy’s passion and potential, the trainer, Mr. Thompson, offered Finn a position as a stable hand when he turned twelve.

Under Mr. Thompson’s mentorship, Finn quickly progressed from mucking stalls to exercising the horses. His natural affinity with the animals was evident; they responded to his gentle touch and calming voice. By fourteen, Finn was riding in local races, often leaving seasoned jockeys in his dust.

Word of the red-headed prodigy spread, and soon, Finn found himself with an opportunity to ride in the Kentucky Derby—a dream he had scarcely allowed himself to entertain. At fifteen, he was set to become one of the youngest jockeys to compete in the prestigious race.

Race day arrived, and Churchill Downs buzzed with anticipation. The crowd’s murmurs grew as they spotted the young jockey with flaming hair atop a sleek, ebony stallion named Midnight Star. Despite his age, Finn exuded a calm confidence, a testament to his countless hours of preparation and innate connection with his horse.

As the gates clanged open, Midnight Star surged forward, guided by Finn’s steady hands. Horse and rider moved as one, navigating the pack with precision. The final stretch saw a neck-and-neck battle between Midnight Star and a favored contender. Drawing upon their deep bond and shared determination, Finn and Midnight Star inched ahead, crossing the finish line first.

The stands erupted in cheers, celebrating the underdog victory. Finn McCarthy, the freckle-faced boy with a heart full of dreams, had won the Kentucky Derby at just fifteen, etching his name into the annals of racing history.

His story became an inspiration, a testament to passion, hard work, and the unbreakable bond between a boy and his horse.

************

Here’s the Worry Me Part

Let’s do a Multiple-Choice Quiz...

1.   You think this Blog Posting is a total waste of your time.

2.   You are not worried in the least about what I am worried about.

3.   You are going to report me and my blog to the authorities (What authorities? You are not sure, but you are so enraged that you are going to Google “Authority Over Fella’s Foolishness” and, when you find out who they are, you are going to turn me in).

4.   I have touched a nerve and now you are worried that one day you are going to be laying on an operating table about to be operated on by Dr. Albert Know Nothing Schultz and, at this crucial moment, you are panicking that Dr. Schultz got his degrees because he AI’ed his way through Medical School using AI to answer every question put to him and write every Research Paper for him. You really started to worry when you heard Dr. Schultz whisper to the Janitor, “I’m confused. Can you give me a hint. Is the brain right next to the liver?”

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

I Often Write Blog Postings About Things That Confuse Me

It seems like every time we turn around our 9% Approval Rated Congress is all wrapped up in the possibility of Shutting Down the Government or Not Shutting down the Government. As I peck this Blog Posting out, they are at it again.

Sometimes they Shut It Down and sometimes they Do Not Shut It Down. Whatever they do, it seems to make no never mind about anything. The sun still comes up the next morning. We just keep on keeping on. The only thing “accomplished” every time we go through one of these episodes is I get confused about something that I hear the TV Talking Heads talk their heads about every time this happens...

We are always told that Essential Bureaucrats keep working but Non-Essential Bureaucrats do not keep working. There are times when I talk out loud to myself and this is one of those times. I will say to myself something along these lines, “Self, if the jobs are Not-Essential, why do they have these jobs at all?” 

Is a Non-Essential Job a Job that is not Important or is it a Job that is not needed? If it is not important and/or not needed, why don’t we save the money and not give them the job in the first place?

After all the smoke has cleared, they all get paid. I don’t mean they start getting their salary again. What I mean is they get all their pay including the pay they did not get when the Government Was Shut Down. I’ll say it another way, They Just Enjoyed a Paid Vacation.

And the whole time they were enjoying their paid vacations we were sitting in front of our TVs worried about their survival.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella 

Lagniappe: If it were not for these Shutdown the Government Interruptions, they could spend all of their time pursuing pursuits they are really good at...Happy Hours and Going on Recesses. 

 

Sex...Or is it?

 

What is that? Oh, I remember that. It once was quite Common. It was called Common Sense. Awhile back they (whoever “they” are) started attacking everything and Common Sense was the first thing to go. The saddest part is those of us with Common Sense just sat back and said nothing. I guess you might say we were dumbfounded by the dumbness of it all.

Now the new Health and Human Services (HHS) has come out and boldly stated What We Always Knew About Sex (Formerly part of Father’s the Birds and the Bees Sit Down) ...

Male and Female Are the Only Two Sexes and That the Sexes Cannot Be Changed

During the Attack Everything Era the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), one of HHS’s Agencies, redefined Sex as...

An individual’s Biological Status as Male, Female, or Something Else

This caused Merriam, Webster, Oxford, Cambridge, Abbott and Costello to say to their collective selves, “This is not acceptable! Definitions are all about the act or process of stating a precise meaning or significance.”

Fella is outraged also. He will now peck out a Fellaifications (he says he will use Silliness to explain the Silliness) ...

Emergency Central Intelligence Agency Text Message: Someone working for the CIA sends an emergency Text Message to the CIA Headquarters in Langley, VA that goes like this, “As directed, I am going to Spies R Us National Convention this morning. My top-secret pouch of spy instructions says that all attendees must wear a certain item of clothing and whoever enters the convention hall without that item of clothing will be shot dead as soon as he enters. My top-secret spy instructions do not tell me what item of clothing I must wear. Please advise ASAP!”

CIA Headquarters’ Response: “We understand your sense of urgency and we apologize for sending incomplete top-secret spy instructions. You should wear a hat like Brear Bryant used to wear when he coached Alabama’s football team or Something Else.”

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: Did fella say something about Abbott & Costello?

The Problem With News Articles About Waste, Fraud and Abuse In Washington D.C. Is The Articles Are Too Long

 

This may surprise you, but I contend I do not write Political Blog Postings. I often write about politics, but I take no position about politics. I do not write about Stupid, Ignorant or Apparently Illegal things that Democrat or Republican Politicians do. I write about the Stupid, Ignorant or Apparently Illegal things done by Politicians who are either Democrat or Republican (those are our only choices).

I am not going to Hoist Myself on My Own Petard. (Yes, I looked up “Hoist Myself on My Own Petard” but I will not bother bothering you about what I found). Just when you think you have gotten your mind around what the article you are reading is trying to prove at word 2,752, the article moves on and at word 5,564 it contradicts and disproves what you thought they thought they were proving way back at that 2,752^nd word.

The article I am trying to understand at present tries to make the point that most examples of government fraud ($2 million for sex changes and “LGBT activism” in Guatemala) do not meet the Legal Definition of Fraud.

When I got to this point in the article, I felt like I was in church because I started thinking, “Alleluia! Alleluia! I am about to see the Definition of Fraud! Now we are getting somewhere!”

It was at this point that my Excitement Bubble Burst because I then read, “Fraud requires a showing of bad intent by the perpetrator and financial harm to the government.”

In the midst of all this Exciting Clarification Confusion, the article threw in this muckety-muck, “On Friday the Times reported that a Nevada woman pleaded guilty to filing more than 1,200 tax returns to fraudulently claim Covid-19 tax credits of nearly $100 million.” She allegedly “used the money to gamble at casinos, take vacations and buy luxury cars and purchase designer clothing from Dolce & Gabbana, Gucci and Louis Vuitton.”

Several points of Confused Common Sense (Common Sense should not be confusing) raised their very ugly heads...

• Joey, said to Shane in the movie Shane, “But, Shane, there’s too many” ... How on the earth could she have filed so many claims without a person, computer or doorknob not noticing that she was filing so many claims? One would think that by the 6^th Claim Filing Alarms would start going off. OK, she got past the sixth claim but 1,200!? We all know that our world likes to round off to even numbers. The only solace I take from all of this is knowing that the real number was somewhere around a more understandably acceptable 1,194 Claim Filings. 
• Fraud requires a showing of bad intent by the perpetrator ... How many Questionable Intents are allowed before they turn into Bad Intent? Does it not automatically turn into Bad Intent when one takes action to acquire money to which they are not entitled? There is an enormous difference between, “It is my money. Give me my money” and “It is not my money. Give the money that is not my money to me.”
• Financial harm to the government ... If the Government really cared about its money, it would pay more attention to its money. I contend it is not possible to Financially Harm the Government by taking money from the Government because the Government does not seem to care if its money is being taken.

It is like the old Jay Leno Commercial for Doritos where he said, “Crunch all you want. We’ll make more.” Only, in this case, the Government is saying, “Steal all you want. We’ll make more.”

Would I kid u?

Smartfella