They Try To Get Us To Worry About Everything!

 News Article Headline

Skyscraper-Size Asteroid Will Buzz Earth

The above headline happened several months ago but I did not blog about it then because I’ve been busy.

This sounds like something that could be very dangerous. Skyscrapers are very big. This sounds like the kind of thing that got rid of the Dinosaurs. If I remember right, Dinosaurs were a lot bigger than we are. This probably kept a lot of people awake at night back when I was busy not writing about our impending doom.

OK, I agree we are not interested in hearing about all the cats stranded up high in trees but do we really want only Bad News? We are getting so caught up in Bad News that I am thinking we are to the point where we don’t want to hear about every bad news story out there.

We especially don’t want to hear about all the bad news out there that is really not bad news but the News Media is taking Interesting News or Curious News or So What News and making it sound like Really Bad News.

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Back to the News Headline that got my attention and got me started on this blog... “Skyscraper-Size Asteroid Will Buzz Earth”

• Do you see the word that caught my attention and started me stumbling through this blog?
• That’s right, it is “Buzz”.
• If they had said a Skyscraper-Sized Piece of Something was going to Pass By the Earth it would not have gotten our attention but Buzz By sounds really close!
• Buzz By sounds like NBA Basketball Players better get ready to duck.

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On the other hand, we read in the article... Don’t worry: There’s no chance of it hitting us since it will pass seven times the distance from Earth to the moon or said another way, Safely Passing Within 1.7 Million Miles.

That does it! There ought to be a law against Making Mountains Out Of Mole Hills. If this news article would have been presented to Dr. Jonas Salk as he was nearing finding his cure for Tuberculosis, he quite possibly would have jumped up and knocking over his lab table with all his really important test tubes on it as he rushed out of the building to seek cover.

And then where would we be? I’ll tell you where many of us would be. We would be in Iron Lungs Scattered All Across The Fruited Plain.

I shudder to think of it!

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: This Lagniappe comes to you from Fella’s Go Ahead and Google It Department which tells you that you have Fella’s permission to Google Dr. Jonas Salk, Iron Lung and/or Tuberculosis.

Are We That Stupid?

Hello out there. It is The Noticer here. It happened again when I least expected it. I was driving on a Big 4-Lane Highway the other day when it happened. I Noticed something that only I, The Noticer, would ever Notice.

I had made my turn out of my 2 lanes going north and, as I crossed over the 2 lanes going south, I Noticed that there were 3 red signs on the right side of the 2 south bound lanes and 3 signs on the left side of the south bound lanes that were facing toward me and not facing toward the oncoming traffic.

Are you wondering why they were not facing oncoming traffic? That’s because they were intended to prevent stupid drivers from taking a right turn and beginning to travel into oncoming traffic. That’s right, they were signs that read Wrong Way...

  

These were Stupid Signs. No, the signs were not stupid they were there to prevent Stupid Drivers from having head-on collisions with oncoming traffic.

At first, I thought, “If the signs were not there, it would be a great way to get rid of a lot of Stupid People!” But, since I am pretty smart, I immediately saw that was not a good idea because the Stupid People might collide with Smart People and get rid of people who need not be gotten rid of like...

• A brilliant doctor who was days away from finding a cure for all forms of Cancer.
• A baseball player who was 1 swing away from breaking the all-time record for home runs in a single season.
• A young man of 22 years of age who, 38 years into the future, was destined to become President of the United States, and in his 2^nd year in office, he was going to solve the Middle East Situation.

Forrest Gump is visiting with me today. He just expanded on his famous Stupid Line in his movie, “Stupid is as stupid does and driving the wrong way into 2 lanes of oncoming traffic is stupid. It is hard to comprehend how much money is spent every year all across the fruited plain buying signs and erecting signs that try to prevent stupid people from doing stupid!”

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: 

Environmental Fatigue

I don’t want you to think that Fella is uncaring about the things I am destroying every day but I can only worry about so many things at one time.

• My car spews things that should not be spewed. If I really cared, I would walk. Yosemite is not that far. The walk would do me good...Or

 would it?  

• Among the things I am known to put into my grocery basket are: Water in Plastic Bottles, Sausage wrapped in Plastic on a Plastic tray, Plastic Wrap so I can wrap other things in Plastic, etc. Then I go to check out and I am told that Plastic Bags have been discontinued because they are bad for the environment, so I have to take Paper Bags instead. I find myself in a quandary thinking, “Where does that material to make Paper Bags come from? I’m going to Google that question as soon as I get home”

Ø My father was a grocer in an age where Corner Grocery Stores were all over our corners. We used to sell Soft Drinks in Glass Bottles. The Glass Bottles were returned for the 2 Cent Deposit or traded in on New Glass Bottles full of Undrunk Soft Drink. Now we get Soft Drinks in Plastic Bottles (which we throw away) or in Glass Bottles (which we throw away).

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Today is my Birthday! My daughter gave me a very nice Birthday Card. I never should have turned it over. Waiting there for me was Another Environmental Quandary.

It was an Environment Comfort Message that only confused me much more than it comforted me...

this card is produced entirely in england using low chlorine pulp from sustainable forest and printed with finishes which naturally disperse or biodegrade when this card is composted or recycled

Notice how they saved ink by not capitalizing anything and not using a period.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: Then they put it in a jet plane and spewed it to me across the Atlantic Ocean from England.

These People Are Going To Make Millions Because Some Of Us Are Not As Smart As Some Others Of Us Are Smart

 

We have all received Fake Emails from an African Prince that wants to give us millions of dollars.

We have all thought to ourselves something like this, “One would have to be a complete idiot to believe that someone we do not know and will never know wants to give us millions of dollars. No one could ever believe this is true!”

When we thought this we were completely wrong to think what we thought. There are a lot of people who do believe this Unbelievable Foolishness.

Then one day I saw an article on the Internet (so you know it was true) that explained it all. The email was intentionally unbelievable. The thinking of these shysters was anyone who does respond was a certain candidate to be a person who they can take money from. They were looking for stupid and people who did respond were certain to be stupid.

How many people respond? ... Tens of thousands of foolish people do respond and get fleeced by this Unbelievably Foolish Email every year.

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The other day I was contacted by a shyster who hoped I was stupid enough to send him $19.51. I did not send him any money but I betcha this Crook is making Millions of Dollars because his email is really slick (see email below).

Several years ago, I had made a trip through Florida’s Toll Road Hell. A few days after I got back, I received a couple of emails from Sunpass Toll Services telling me I had failed to give the State of Florida some of my money which they said now belonged to them and I paid the money.

Did I get fleeced? Possibly I was fleeced but back then it was believable because I had just gotten back from my trip.

Now, years after I got back, I received this...

(Here is the below email...)

Sunpass Toll Services: We’ve noticed an outstanding toll amount of $19.51 on your record. To avoid a late fee of $50.00, visit: xxxx.xx/xxxxxx/xxxxxxxx to settle your balance.

I did not send them $19.51 because, as I said, it has been years since I had dared to go into Florida’s Toll Road Hell and this late a follow up just ain’t as believable.

I faked the payment link because I was afraid you were going to click on the real link and send them some of your money.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: I thought as I was driving through Florida’s Toll Road Hell, “It seems like, every time I turn around, I owe another toll to Florida”. I even stopped turning around, in the hopes that I was going to save money.

This List Is Far From Complete!

 

This is from the United States’ Secret Service web site...

The Secret Service is dedicated to maintaining an environment that is free from all forms of discrimination, harassment, or retaliation for engaging in protected activity. This assurance extends to all employees, former employees, contract employees, applicants for employment, and any persons dealing with the Secret Service on official business, regardless of their…

Ø  Race

Ø  Color

Ø  Religion

Ø  Sex (including pregnancy)

Ø  National Origin

Ø  Age

Ø  Disability

Ø  Protected Genetic Information

Ø  Sexual Orientation (Sexual harassment is a form of sex discrimination and is prohibited)

Ø  Marital Status

Ø  Parental Status

Ø  Political Affiliation

Ø  Veteran Status

Ø  Retaliation 

Ø  Or any other basis protected by law. 

This list is not complete! I am amazed that the smart people who put together this extensive list were so blind that they missed a Very Obvious Often Discriminated Against Category!

I am certain all of you, once you see what they missed below, will say to your collective selves, “But, of course, they certainly missed a big one!”...

People With Spaces Between Their Front Teeth

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

It’s May Be Out There ... It Is Definitely Not Down Here

This quote is a Fella Find from an article in the Wall Street Journal on July 15, 2024 that is conclusive proof that the cartoon that follows it is no joke...

The Quote:

“Some without evidence suggested Trump staged the shooting for his political benefit”.

The Cartoon:

Can’t you just hear Trump saying to his staff, “I need you to find a completely inexperienced marksman who is less than 21 years old to do the shooting. Tell him to promise to make sure the bullet comes less than an inch away from killing me so this whole thing will be absolutely believable. I’m glad I thought of this because it is certain to get me enough additional votes to put me over the top!”

Would I kid u?

Smartfella