They Changed the “W-Word”. That’s Progress Too...Or is it?

You just read my last Blog Posting about the Changes that were made to Mark Twain’s Literary Masterpieces.

In that Blog Posting I told you that that was not the end of the Changing...

“If you think Mark Twain’s works being changed is the end of the changing and now the change people are satisfied and there will be no more changing, think again...”

Then I gave you a link that showed you, believe it or not, they (whoever “they” are) bowdlerized Harper Lee’s To Kill a Mockingbird.

Wikipedia has this to say about Harper Lee’s book...

To Kill a Mockingbird is a novel by the American author Harper Lee. It was published in 1960 and was instantly successful. In the United States, it is widely read in high schools and middle schools. To Kill a Mockingbird has become a classic of modern American literature, winning the Pulitzer Prize.

(Fella did the underlining.)

Hey, Wikipedia, it makes no never mind what you think they (whoever “they” are) messed around with Harper Lee’s carefully chosen words also.

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There is a lot of craziness going on in our foolish world but you probably just said to yourself, “Well, at least, Agatha Christie is safe from this changing for the sake of changing” craziness but, if you did say that, you were wrong.

Here is a silly change to Agatha Christie’s words that Fella wants to zero in on...

In A Caribbean Mystery, the amateur detective’s appreciation of a West Indian hotel worker’s “lovely white teeth” has been removed.

I give you 3 guesses as to which of the 3 word is the “offensive” word and I’ll give you 2 hints. It ain’t “lovely”. It ain’t “teeth”. You got it! It’s “White”!

What kind of Mental Midgets thinks that every use of the word “white” is racist? I don’t know what kind of Mental Midgets they are but I do know that they are Genuine Certified Grade A Mental Midgets.

Do they really think that the word “white” is intrinsically racist? Yes they do but no they don’t. That’s because “intrinsically” has been replaced by “systemically”. They just love the word “systemically”. Many of them don’t know what it means but they do know they love it.

Allow Fella to comment on this Foolishness. If I make fun of some of this while I am commenting on it, it is systemically intentional. Yea, I know this last use of “systemically” is a stretch...

Ø What color are a Person of Color’s teeth? The answer is White.

Ø Is a Person of Color’s teeth Intrinsically White or are they Systemically White? The answer is Yes They Are.

Ø How many Persons of Color would like their teeth to be a Color Other Than White? The answer is None.

If you are not a Person of Common Sense, stop reading this Blog immediately. You should not have been allowed in here to begin with.

If you are a Person of Common Sense, answer this question: What is wrong with calling a Person of Color’s White Teeth White?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: Genesis 11:7 “Come, let us go down and there confuse their language, so that they may not understand one another’s speech.”

They Changed the “N-Word” To “Slave”. That’s Progress...Or is it?

 

NOTE: This article is more than 12 years old...

Benedicte Page

Wed 5 Jan 2011

New Huckleberry Finn Edition Censors 'N-Word'

Alabama publisher says expurgation of more than 200 'hurtful epithets' will counter 'pre-emptive censorship' that has seen 

Mark Twain's classic dropped from curricula

A new US edition of Mark Twain's classic novel The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn is to be published with a notable language alteration: all instances of the offensive racial term "nigger" are to be expunged.

The word occurs more than 200 times in Huckleberry Finn, first published in 1884, and its 1876 precursor, The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, which tell the story of the boys' adventures along the Mississippi river in the mid-19th century. In the new edition, the word will be replaced in each instance by "slave". The word "injun" will also be replaced in the text.

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"The Times They Are a-Changin”...Years ago running a red Light was a rare thing. Now I see red lights being run every day.

Years ago if someone said, “I Object” very likely the response would be, “Get Over It”. Now “I Object”, and it’s even more powerful companion “I’m Offended”, makes everyone who hears these words stop and immediately become uncomfortable and apologetic.

If the Slavic People object to the change referred to in the Subject of this Blog Posting will there immediately be a desperation search to find a new substitute word?

Origin of word “slave”...

Etymology. From Middle English sclave, from Old French sclave, from Medieval Latin sclāvus (“slave”), from Late Latin Sclāvus (“Slav”), because Slavs were often forced into slavery in the Middle Ages. 

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Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Fin have long been referred to as Classics but now they are under attack.

Fella thinks it is a shame some feel they have a right to change what others create, and after they are done changing, they say, “Yes, we changed it but it is still the same”. It’s not. It’s changed.

I may be stumbling over my words here but this Doctor Lady below handles her words a lot better and makes me want to say, “Yea, that’s what I meant”...

But the idea of changing the language in the novel in order to boost its popularity is still viewed with bafflement in many quarters. Dr Sarah Churchwell, senior lecturer in US literature and culture at the University of East Anglia, said the development made her "incandescent" with anger. "The fault lies with the teaching, not the book. You can't say 'I'll change Dickens so it is compatible with my teaching method'. Twain's books are not just literary documents but historical documents, and that word is totemic because it encodes all of the violence of slavery. The point of the book is that Huckleberry Finn starts out racist in a racist society, and stops being racist and leaves that society. These changes mean the book ceases to show the moral development of his character. They have no merit and are misleading to readers. The whole point of literature is to expose us to different ideas and different eras, and they won't always be nice and benign. It's dumbing down."

(Fella did the underlining above.)

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If you think Mark Twain’s works being changed is the end of the changing because now the Change People are satisfied and there will be no more changing, think again...

NOTE: This article is more than 6 years old...

https://www.theguardian.com/books/2016/dec/05/to-kill-a-mockingbird-removed-virginia-schools-racist-language-harper-lee

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: If I knew this word existed, I would have used it...Or would I have?...

bowdlerize

transitive verb

1.   To remove material that is considered offensive or objectionable from (a book, for example); expurgate.

2.   To expurgate, as a book, by omitting or modifying the parts considered offensive; to remove morally objectionable parts; -- said of literary texts.

The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, 5th Edition.

 

Unfamiliar Talk Show Guest Are Commontators

 

No, I did not misspell the word “Commentators”. That is an On Purpose Misspelling. I’m not talking about “Commentators”. I’m talking about “Commontators”. I know what I am doing...Or do I?

What do all guests on News Shows that you don’t recognize have in common that makes them Commontators not Commentators? It’s the fact that they have all just written a book.

Even the Commentators who you are familiar with have all written a book at sometime in the past. It can be the distant past but it will still be mentioned in their Thanks for Coming Introduction and again in their Thanks for Coming Dismissal.

I tried to trick one of the major news channels into having me on as a guest. It didn’t go so well. My problem is I am too honest. I may need to hire a publicist to lie for me. Here’s how it did go (in bullet point format)...

Ø Me: Hello, my name is Smartfella and I would love to be a Guest Commontator on one of your Nightly News Shows.

Ø He: Well, Mr. Fella, have you written a book?

Ø Me: Yes, I wrote the Little Read Book.

Ø He: Do you mean you wrote the same book that Mao Zedong wrote?

Ø He: I find that hard to believe.

Ø Me: No, you don’t understand.

Ø Me: I did not write Mao’s Little Red Book.

Ø Me: I wrote Fella’s Little Read Book.

Ø Me: There is a big difference Little Red and Little Read and actually Mao’s book is Red and my book is Green.

Click!

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

My Plan to Put Starbucks Out of Business

 

My plan to put Starbucks out of business has been in effect for years now but it has been hard for me to tell if it was working or not because of the COVID-19 Pandemic. Starbucks went berserk over COVID...

Ø They shut down their stores.

Ø They depended on their Drive-Through Windows to keep the company going until our Rulers in Washington, D.C. told us the Pandemic was all gone or they told us we were all dead.

Ø They required their Drive-Thru Skeleton Staff to hold their breath in one hour increments.

Ø Any employee who was caught breathing during their Hold Your Breath Hour had their aprons ripped off of their ungrateful bodies and were fired on the spot.

Ø When the OK To Breath Now App on their phones told them it was Ok to breathe, they were allowed to rush outside and suck in as much air as they could for 2 minutes before they were allowed to re-enter the store (their app automatically reset for another hour as they re-entered the store).

My Plan Was Simple. I Decided That, If I Stopped Drinking Their Coffee, They Would Surely Go Out Of Business.

A couple of days ago I came to a full undrstanding of the effectiveness of my Put ‘Em Out Of Business Plan (in bullet point format)...

Ø I brought my wife to a doctor’s office across town.

Ø While driving to the doctor’s office I was amazed to see that there were very few cars on the expressway.

Ø I became baffled and becoming baffled is not something I am prone to becoming.

Ø After the initial consultation with the doctor, I was told they would need to do whatever they needed to do to my wife without my help and I should get out of their way so they could do it.

Ø The doctor said the to do’ing would take about 2 hours and she told me where there was a nearby Starbucks where I could spend my 2 out of the way hours.

Ø I had not been in a Starbucks in several years because, you may remember, I am in the process of putting them out of business.

Ø I decided to make this one time exception to my boycott and go buy a cup.

Ø I went in, bought a cup and sat down against the far wall which happened to be glass and was right next to the Drive Up Line leading up to the Drive Up Window.

Ø As I was sipping I started to notice the line of cars in the Drive Up Line leading to the Drive Up Window.

Ø It was very long.

Ø It never got short.

Ø If it did shorten up by 1 or 2 cars, by my next sip it grew by 3 or 4.

Ø It was amazing!

And before I know what was dawning on me it dawned on me that this is why there were so few cars on the expressway! All the missing cars were in the Drive Up Lines for the Dive Up Windows at all the Starbucks Stores all over the Atlanta Metropolitan Area!

My Plan to Put Starbucks Out of Business Was A Dismal Failure!

I started to formulate a plan of action to give my plan to put Starbucks out of Business a shot in the arm but I quickly realized that it was a waste of time. The looks of desperation, panic and confusion on the faces of the sweating Bucksters as they pulled up to the Clown’s Mouth to plead into the mouth their orders convinced me that there was no stopping them.

Starbucks had won my war against them!

I knew I did not have within me what it took to stop the Bucksters from begging the clown’s mouth to please give them their Morning Venti with a Shot in the Dark.

When I was younger I used to think things like That’s No Hill For A Climber. Now, as soon as I start thinking I ought to climb up a mountain, I quickly shift my gaze to the nearest Mole Hill. Heck, I’m 81 years old and Mole Hills are about all I can handle and Starbucks ain’t a Mole Hill!

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Don’t Mess With Starbucks!

More Than You Want To Read (Certainly More Than I Want To Read) About COVID Masks

It may be more that we want to read but that does not mean it is not really important to read. Oh goody, Fella has provided you with the Overview from a Humongous Article entitled, Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Masks, and the Deadly Falsehoods Surrounding Them.

Please read the article’s shorter overview that Fella pasted below but the link to the entire article is also provided at the very end of this Blog Posting, if you want to spend much of the rest of this day Reading All About It...

Overview

In a terse essay titled “Science and Dictatorship,” Albert Einstein warned that “Science can flourish only in an atmosphere of free speech.” And on his deathbed, Einstein cautioned, “Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters cannot be trusted in important affairs.”

With reckless disregard for both of those principles, powerful government officials and big tech executives have corrupted or suppressed the central scientific facts about face masks. The impacts of this extend far beyond the issue of masks and have caused widespread harm and countless deaths.

Despite the fog of contradictory claims and changing government guidelines, dozens of scientific journals have published consistent data that establish these facts:

• Covid-19 is mainly spread by microscopic aerosols generated by breathing, talking, sneezing, and coughing. The vast bulk of these infectious aerosols easily penetrate common masks because 90% of the aerosols are less than 1/17^th the size of pores in the finest surgical masks, and less than 1/80^th the size of pores in the finest cloth masks.

• Aerosols are light enough to stay airborne for minutes or hours, and hence, they also travel freely through gaps around the edges of cloth and surgical masks.

• Governments enacted mask mandates based on the false assumption that C-19 is mainly transmitted by large droplets generated by coughing, sneezing, and spittle. These droplets are bigger than the pore sizes of most masks and only remain airborne for a few seconds after they are emitted.

• For more than a year, the World Health Organization and the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention denied and downplayed the threat of aerosol transmission while issuing guidelines that don’t amply prevent it. This enabled C-19 to decimate the most vulnerable members of society, like those in hospitals and nursing homes.

• The CDC and WHO quietly admitted in the spring of 2021 that aerosols pose a major threat of transmission but have still not adequately updated their guidelines to reflect this reality. This has allowed countless preventable deaths to continue.

• The risk of aerosol transmission can be greatly reduced by disinfecting air with ultraviolet (UV) light, which is part of the energy spectrum emitted by the sun. This simple and safe technology neutralizes airborne microbes and has been successfully used to control the spread of contagious respiratory diseases for more than 80 years.

• Randomized controlled trials—which are the “gold standard” for clinical research—have repeatedly measured the effects of masks on preventing the spread of contagious respiratory diseases. These trials have found inconsistent benefits from N95 masks in healthcare settings and no statistically significant benefits from any type of mask in community settings.

• The only randomized controlled trial that evaluated cloth masks found that mandating them causes significant disease transmission in high-risk healthcare settings.

• Observational studies—which are a weaker form of evidence than randomized controlled trials—find that masking schoolchildren provides negligible or no benefits.

• Lab studies—which are the weakest form of clinical evidence—don’t support the notion that surgical or cloth masks reduce the transmission of Covid-19.

• Masks of all types have negative impacts on some people, including headaches, difficulty breathing, increased cardio-pulmonary stress during exercise, marked discomfort, and weakened social bonds.

• Because humans create carbon dioxide as they breathe, the CO2 concentration of the air they exhale is about 100 times higher than in fresh air. Masks restrict airflow and thus cause the wearers to rebreathe some of the air they exhale.

• The average CO2 concentrations inhaled by people wearing N95 masks range from 2.6 to 7.0 times OSHA’s work shift limit for CO2. These levels cause headaches and chest pains in some people.

• The average CO2 concentrations inhaled by people wearing cloth and surgical masks range from 2 to 3 times the government CO2 limits for classrooms in many countries. These levels may impair certain high-level brain functions like initiative, strategic thinking, and complex decision-making.

The leaders of big tech corporations like Facebook, Twitter, and Google/YouTube have empowered government officials who misled the public about every matter above and others. Together, they continue to do so by engaging in actions that resemble common disinformation tactics. These include but are not limited to cherry-picking, censorship, muddying the waters, citation bluffs, non-sequiturs, half-truths, and outright falsehoods.

Below is the link to the whole article from www.JustFacts.com...

(Are you thinking about reading the whole article? Are you thinking that you are ready to settle down and read 20,361 words? If not, content yourself with my Overview above. Dat’s enough.)

https://www.justfacts.com/news_face_masks_deadly_falsehoods

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: Much of the Overview could be explained (yes, I have blogged this before)...Trying to stop a Covid 19 germ with a cloth mask is like trying to stop a mosquito from flying through the holes in a page fence...

Don't Stick Your Neck Out Just Because You Promised To Stick Your Neck Out

 

First let’s go back in Chinese/American History a bit...

Ø American President What’s His Name told the Big Guy in China right after the Chinese Nationalist escaped to Taiwan, “Don’t you dare think about doing anything unkind to Taiwan”.

Ø Many years later American President What Ya Ma Call It warned his opposing What Ya Ma Call It Big Guy in China, “You better not even think about getting into a canoe and start paddling in Taiwan’s general direction”.

Ø Actually every American President, if the subject of Taiwan ever came up during his term in office, let it be known that Taiwan was a No No for Conquest, Vacations or Second Looks.

Now it looks like the time might actually be right for Mainland China to try and take over Taiwan and teach those Disloyal Chinese Escapees how the cow eats the cabbage and Washington D.C. is getting nervous.

My sources tell me that the midnight oils are burning in order to come up with a slate of Preemptive Excuses to justify doing nothing if the Mainland Chinese do something. Here are the 3 leading Preemptive Excuses at the time of this Blog Posting...

Ø We ought not to go out on a limb for the Taiwanese because there is not a lot of there there because there is not a lot of it there. After all Taiwan is just a little bit bigger than Maryland. Heck, the United States is about 273 times bigger than Taiwan. If we are going to live up to our commitments, it ought to be over something bigger than this little pipsqueak of an island.

Ø Let’s not get out on a limb here. There are not that many Disloyal Chinese Defectors on Taiwan. There are only 23.6 Million of them. The Good Ole USofA has already taken in our fair share of Chinese...NYC has 685,000, Los Angeles has 678,000, San Francisco has 582,000 and San Jose has 239,000 of them. Enough is enough!

Ø All these former American Presidents made their rash commitments about Taiwan at a time in our history when more American Citizens were playing Chinese Checkers than are playing Chinese Checkers today.

Senator Foghorn Leghorn said it best... ”Son! I say, son, let’s not lose our marbles over a Board Game!”

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Wanna See A Bunch Of Disgusting?

 

I remember being told by my Mother, “Fella, don’t stick your tongue out at people! It’s not nice!”

At the time I thought she was trying to make my life difficult because I thought sticking my tongue out at a kid I wanted to stick my tongue out at was a quite effective way to convey to him my true feelings. The kid I stuck it at would often be taken aback. I felt I had made my point and won the argument. Sure the kid I stuck it at would very likely stick his at me but, if I did a real quick Stick and Turn My Back Maneuver, I would never see his Return Tongue Stick.

A couple of years ago I matured and in my new-found maturity I now realize my Mother was not all right about her reason for not sticking (It’s Not Nice). She should have told me it was Disgusting (my mother was at a disadvantage because she never used the word “disgusting”).

How disgusting depends on the tongue being stuck out. If you want to see Disgusting you can start with the picture below and then you can click on the link below that and get even more grossed out.

I don’t recommend you look at a lot of these pictures. Just long enough to get my drift about disgusting...

https://www.google.com/search?q=images+of+diseased+tongue&client=avast-a-3&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiQuNuursL9AhUqnGoFHcGPBzIQ_AUoAXoECAEQAw&biw=1136&bih=600&dpr=1

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Did They Exaggerate When They Named World War l World War l?

 

Ah come on, man! World War means the World was at War with the World. Fella is here to say, “Let’s get serious”. We need a different more accurate name for World War l. I’m going to research it for you and let you know what I find out and recommend to the World what would be the proper and correct name for World War l instead of World War l.

Here we go...

1914...

Ø July 28 Austria-Hungary declares war on Serbia.

Ø August 1 Germany declares war on Russia.

Ø August 3 Germany declares war on France.

Ø August 4 Britain declares war on Germany.

Ø August 5 Austria-Hungary declares war on Russia.

Ø August 6 Serbia declares war on Germany.

Ø August 10 France declares war on Austria-Hungary.

Ø August 12 Britain declares war on Austria-Hungary.

Ø November 1 the Ottoman Empire declares war on the Allies (France, United Kingdom, Russia, Italy and Japan) this saved the Ottoman Empire from having to declare lots of different declarations.

Ø November 1 Russia declares war on the Ottoman Empire.

Ø November 2 Serbia declares war on the Ottoman Empire.

Ø November 5 Britain and France declare war on the Ottoman Empire.

1915...

Ø May 23 Italy declares war on Austria-Hungary.

Ø October 14 Bulgaria and Serbia declare war on each other.

1916...

Ø August 28 Germany declares war on Romania.

Ø August 28 Italy declares war on Germany.

1917...

Ø April 6 the United States declares war on Germany.

Ø July 2 Greece declares war on the Central Powers (Germany, Austria-Hungary, the Ottoman Empire and Bulgaria). Again a country chooses to save the paperwork and the tremendous amount of finger pointing required if it had declared 4 different declarations).

Ø August 14 China declares war on Austria-Hungary and Germany.

Ø October 26 the Brazil declares war on Germany.

Ø December 7 the United States declares war on Austria-Hungary.

1918...

Ø November 10 Romania declares war for the second time. (I typed this one out exactly as it appeared in the big book where I found all of this Deadly Foolishness.) I do not understand this Romanian Declaration. It is at a time when Armistices and Peace Treaties are being signed by everybody and it was on the day before the Armistice was signed that ended the fighting in Europe. It’s sort of like Romania is saying, “Hey, guys, pay attention to me!”

I take it all back and hereby declare that declaring the name of World War l as World War l was absolutely a perfectly logical choice of words and Fella could not have come up with a better name even if he were the Fella-In-Charge of the Committee that was responsible for Naming Wars so that the rest of us would know which war we are talking about.

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: The soldier in the above picture is Harry Truman.

This Blog Was First Published April 5, 2013. A Special Request From Beyond The Grave Has Asked Me To Publish it Again.

The Very Late President George Washington visited with me today and he asked me to publish this Blog Posting again. He says Washington, D.C. has not changed since it was first published almost 10 years ago and his humiliation in heaven grows with each passing day. He said he is so desperate he is even considering asking for a transfer out of heaven. He looked so sad when he said to me, "Could hell be any worse?"

Friday, April 05, 2013

First Time Ever! A Petition Received From Beyond The Grave

General George Washington has petitioned the Congress to change the name of Washington D.C. to, “Anything else ye damn well please”.

He went on to say...

“I spent my life in service to this once great country and I no longer consider it an honor to have our capital named after me.

Besides, my cohorts up here in heaven have begun to laugh at me every time the word “Washington” is mentioned on the news. Since ye now have the 24 Hour News Cycle, the guffaws are never ending.

Sadly sleep is not needed up here. If we did sleep, I could get away from the ridicule for a wee bit. This being the case, the laughing and finger pointing never stops.

Benjamin Franklin is the worst!”

Authorities are baffled at how Ole George went about communicating with Congress. A Senate Committee will begin holding hearings next week to get to the root of this strange phenomenon. Committee Hearings are a sure way to get to the bottom of any issue of importance...Or are they?

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Where Did All The Dead People Go?

 

Remember when we were bombarded Every Day about how many of us were dying because of COVID. It dominated the news. If an Atomic Bomb had just been dropped on New York City the lead in for the Nightly TV News Shows would have sounded something like this...

Breaking News! Something just happened in New York City but first let’s bring you Up To Date on the Number of Americans Who Have Died From the COVID Pandemic!

Below is a link to a chart of the, “Weekly Trends in Number of COVID-19 Deaths in The United States Reported to the CDC”. The period covered is from March 18, 2020 to February 22, 2023. Position your curser in 2021 as close to the beginning of 2021 as you can get (will be January 6, 2021). Look to the right. That’s a lot of Dead People not being talked about.

https://covid.cdc.gov/covid-data-tracker/#trends_weeklydeaths_select_00

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

 

Three Things That Worry Me

First...People who like to tell Fella what to do have been telling Fella to do this, "Fella, as long as you can distinguish Fly Chit from Pepper, you got nothing to worry about so don't worry about what you are worrying about".

I can’t help myself because I really can’t tell Fly Chit from Pepper and that worries me.

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Second...I’m also worried about what I noticed on TV last night. It’s those My Pillow Commercials. I know you did not notice this because you are not me but I noticed this because I am me...

The people in the My Pillow Commercials are always happily sleeping on their My Pillows. How do I know they are happy? I can tell they are happy because they are smiling while they sleep.

Did you just say, “What do you care if they are smiling while they sleep on their My Pillows?”

I’m not worried about that. I own a My Pillow. I’m worried about whether I smile when I sleep on my My Pillow. I’ve got to know! This is really worrying me!

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Third...I have a third thing I am worrying about more than I am worrying about the 2 above things. I’m worried about Marie Osmond. I’m getting older every day. Marie Osmond is on TV every day advertising Nutrisystem and every day I see her on TV she gets younger.

Not only is she getting younger but she continues to get skinny. Frank Sinatra actually sang a song about Marie 6 years before she was born. Here are the lyrics and a You Tube Link, if you want to listen...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OkhZ51cJVqM

Lean Baby

Frank Sinatra

Do-do-do, do-do
Do-do-do, do-do-ooh

My lean baby, tall and thin
Five feet seven, of bones and skin
But when she tells me maybe she loves me
I feel as mellow as a fellow can be

She's so skinny, she's so drawn
When she stands sideways, you would think that she's gone
But when she calls me, "baby", I feel fine
To think she's frantically, romantically mine

She's slender, but she's tender
She makes my heart surrender
And every night when I hold her tight
The feeling is nice, my arms can go around twice

My lean baby, she's so slim
A broomstick's wider, but not as trim
And when she starts to kiss me, then I know
I love her so, I'll never, ever, let her go, no

My lean baby, strange to see
And all that nothing, it belongs to me
And though she may be scrawny, she's okay
Because I wouldn't want her any other way

And she's so skinny, she's so drawn
When she stands sideways, you would think that she's gone
But when she calls me, "baby", I feel fine
To think she's frantically, romantically mine

I chased her, and I caught her
Then a diamond ring, I bought her
Hey, the diamonds shine, the ring is so fine
But here is the twist, she wears it right on her wrist

My lean baby, she's so slim
A broomstick's wider, but not as trim
And when she starts to kiss me, then I know
I love her so, I'll never, ever, let her go

My lean baby, tall and thin
Do-do-do-do, do-do
Do-do-do, do-do-do, do-do

Written by: Billy May, Roy Alfred

Album: THE WORLD OF Frank Sinatra

Released: 2014

Lyrics provided by Musixmatch

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: I just may be a Worrywart. What’s a Worrywart? Merriam-Webster says a Worrywart is “a person who worries without reasonable cause”. I’ve decided that I am going to quit worrying about being a Worrywart. When I looked up Worrywart Merriam-Webster told me that the first known use of Worrywart happened in 1936. Now that I know this I am going to do my best to forget that I know this because I don’t see any reason to know this. I do worry for the people at Merriam-Webster. First Known Use Was In 1936...Who cares? Do they really think this is important enough to bother going to all the trouble of researching it and telling me about it so I then have to go to all the trouble to forget what they told me?