Get The Rope! Get The Paint! We Gotta Get To Work!

 

Dumb Guy said, “Hey, Dumber Guy, I just found out who that there memorial is dedicated to. The fools who created that memorial chose to honor an awful man who single handedly was responsible for more damage to the Earth’s Environment than any other person in all of recorded history. This terrible person was Edwin Drake. He was the guy who drilled the First Oil Well. If he had not done that, oil would never have been discovered and the Earth would have more than the 12 weeks it has left to be the Earth.”

Dumber Guy said, “Unbelievable! People like that should not have memorials dedicated to them. I’ll get the paint so we can desecrate his statue. I’ll get the rope so we can pull his statue down! Then you and I can jump up and down on his statue. No need to remind me to get the sledge hammers we will need to break his evil likeness into small evil pieces. I always carry sledge hammers in my back pack.”

************

Then it happened. A nearby Potted Plant spoke up and asked the Dumb Guys a simple question, “Hey, Guys, what is made from petroleum?” They did not know where the question came from but they, in unison, answered, “The only thing that comes from Petroleum is Gasoline!” as they continued to look around for the source of the question.

Out of the Potted Plant came a hand holding a printed list of some (but not all) of the things that are made from Petroleum. It read as follows...

There is quite a large list of products made from petroleum. This list is constantly growing as new inventions are created. Here are some of the items which are made from petroleum...

Solvents	Diesel fuel	Motor Oil	Bearing Grease
Ink	Floor Wax	Ballpoint Pens	Football Cleats
Upholstery	Sweaters	Boats	Insecticides
Bicycle Tires	Sports Car Bodies	Nail Polish	Fishing lures
Dresses	Tires	Golf Bags	Perfumes
Cassettes	Dishwasher parts	Tool Boxes	Shoe Polish
Motorcycle Helmet	Caulking	Petroleum Jelly	Transparent Tape
CD Player	Faucet Washers	Antiseptics	Clothesline
Curtains	Food Preservatives	Basketballs	Soap
Vitamin Capsules	Antihistamines	Purses	Shoes
Dashboards	Cortisone	Deodorant	Footballs
Putty	Dyes	Panty Hose	Refrigerant
Percolators	Life Jackets	Rubbing Alcohol	Linings
Skis	TV Cabinets	Shag Rugs	Electrician’s Tape
Tool Racks	Car Battery Cases	Epoxy	Paint
Mops	Slacks	Insect Repellent	Oil Filters
Umbrellas	Yarn	Fertilizers	Hair Coloring
Roofing	Toilet Seats	Fishing Rods	Lipstick
Denture Adhesive	Linoleum	Ice Cube Trays	Synthetic Rubber
Speakers	Plastic Wood	Electric Blankets	Glycerin
Tennis Rackets	Rubber Cement	Fishing Boots	Dice
Nylon Rope	Candles	Trash Bags	House Paint
Water Pipes	Hand Lotion	Roller Skates	Surf Boards
Shampoo	Wheels	Paint Rollers	Shower Curtains
Guitar Strings	Luggage	Aspirin	Safety Glasses
Antifreeze	Football Helmets	Awnings	Eyeglasses
Clothes	Toothbrushes	Ice Chests	Footballs
Combs	CD’s & DVD’s	Paint Brushes	Detergents
Vaporizers	Balloons	Sun Glasses	Tents
Heart Valves	Crayons	Parachutes	Telephones
Enamel	Pillows	Dishes	Cameras
Anesthetics	Artificial Turf	Artificial limbs	Bandages
Dentures	Model Cars	Folding Doors	Hair Curlers
Cold cream	Movie film	Soft Contact lenses	Drinking Cups
Fan Belts	Car Enamel	Shaving Cream	Ammonia
Refrigerators	Golf Balls	Toothpaste	Gasoline

Having read through the entire listing, they, in unison, said, “See. I told you so! Gasoline does come from Petroleum!”

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: I just heard a shouted out question from one of my Dear Readers, “But we are running out of Petroleum and other Fossil Fuels! ... Or are we?”

According to the American Petroleum Institute...

Ø We have enough oil in North America to fuel every single passenger car and long-haul truck for the next 430 years.

Ø We have enough natural gas to provide electricity for every business and household for the next 535 years.

Ø We have enough coal to provide electricity for about 500 years.