Friday, February 03, 2023

Get The Rope! Get The Paint! We Gotta Get To Work!

 

Dumb Guy said, “Hey, Dumber Guy, I just found out who that there memorial is dedicated to. The fools who created that memorial chose to honor an awful man who single handedly was responsible for more damage to the Earth’s Environment than any other person in all of recorded history. This terrible person was Edwin Drake. He was the guy who drilled the First Oil Well. If he had not done that, oil would never have been discovered and the Earth would have more than the 12 weeks it has left to be the Earth.”

Dumber Guy said, “Unbelievable! People like that should not have memorials dedicated to them. I’ll get the paint so we can desecrate his statue. I’ll get the rope so we can pull his statue down! Then you and I can jump up and down on his statue. No need to remind me to get the sledge hammers we will need to break his evil likeness into small evil pieces. I always carry sledge hammers in my back pack.”


************

Then it happened. A nearby Potted Plant spoke up and asked the Dumb Guys a simple question, “Hey, Guys, what is made from petroleum?” They did not know where the question came from but they, in unison, answered, “The only thing that comes from Petroleum is Gasoline!” as they continued to look around for the source of the question.

Out of the Potted Plant came a hand holding a printed list of some (but not all) of the things that are made from Petroleum. It read as follows...

There is quite a large list of products made from petroleum. This list is constantly growing as new inventions are created. Here are some of the items which are made from petroleum...

Solvents

Diesel fuel

Motor Oil

Bearing Grease

Ink

Floor Wax

Ballpoint Pens

Football Cleats

Upholstery

Sweaters   

Boats

Insecticides

Bicycle Tires

Sports Car Bodies

Nail Polish

Fishing lures

Dresses

Tires

Golf Bags

Perfumes

Cassettes

Dishwasher parts

Tool Boxes

Shoe Polish

Motorcycle Helmet

Caulking

Petroleum Jelly

Transparent Tape

CD Player 

Faucet Washers

Antiseptics

Clothesline

Curtains

Food Preservatives

Basketballs

Soap  

Vitamin Capsules

Antihistamines

Purses

Shoes

Dashboards

Cortisone

Deodorant

Footballs

Putty

Dyes

Panty Hose

Refrigerant

Percolators

Life Jackets

Rubbing Alcohol

Linings

Skis

TV Cabinets

Shag Rugs

Electrician’s Tape

Tool Racks

Car Battery Cases

Epoxy

Paint

Mops

Slacks

Insect Repellent

Oil Filters

Umbrellas

Yarn

Fertilizers

Hair Coloring

Roofing

Toilet Seats

Fishing Rods

Lipstick

Denture Adhesive

Linoleum

Ice Cube Trays

Synthetic Rubber

Speakers

Plastic Wood

Electric Blankets

Glycerin

Tennis Rackets

Rubber Cement

Fishing Boots

Dice

Nylon Rope

Candles

Trash Bags

House Paint

Water Pipes

Hand Lotion

Roller Skates

Surf Boards

Shampoo

Wheels

Paint Rollers

Shower Curtains

Guitar Strings

Luggage

Aspirin

Safety Glasses

Antifreeze

Football Helmets

Awnings

Eyeglasses 

Clothes

Toothbrushes

Ice Chests

Footballs

Combs

CD’s & DVD’s

Paint Brushes

Detergents

Vaporizers

Balloons

Sun Glasses

Tents

Heart Valves

Crayons

Parachutes

Telephones

Enamel

Pillows

Dishes

Cameras

Anesthetics

Artificial Turf

Artificial limbs

Bandages

Dentures

Model Cars

Folding Doors

Hair Curlers

Cold cream

Movie film

Soft Contact lenses

Drinking Cups

Fan Belts

Car Enamel

Shaving Cream

Ammonia

Refrigerators

Golf Balls

Toothpaste

Gasoline

Having read through the entire listing, they, in unison, said, “See. I told you so! Gasoline does come from Petroleum!”

Would I kid u?

Smartfella

Lagniappe: I just heard a shouted out question from one of my Dear Readers, “But we are running out of Petroleum and other Fossil Fuels! ... Or are we?”

According to the American Petroleum Institute...

Ø We have enough oil in North America to fuel every single passenger car and long-haul truck for the next 430 years.

Ø We have enough natural gas to provide electricity for every business and household for the next 535 years.

Ø We have enough coal to provide electricity for about 500 years. 



3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Truth, truth, you want the truth? The American people want sensationalism.

Anonymous said...

Carbon dioxide emissions are caused when petroleum is combusted in the presence of oxygen, producing CO2. Most of these products listed contain petroleum that will never be combusted, so they are not a problem. You say that we can continue to use fossil fuels for 400 more years, but that is simply impossible unless we want to become extinct. It is not difficult to see the impacts of fossil fuel burning today, and empirical scientific evidence has proven time and time again that if we do not reduce these emissions , our entire world order will collapse. Climate scientists are setting themselves on fire, chaining themselves to trees and buildings, and still fossil fuel companies are not listening to the cold hard facts. So I say do whatever you want to that statue, because the earth is much more important.

Ludwig said...

Yes, indeed, and those numbers will go up, not down. As more and more EVs take to the roads, those 430 years of supply of car and truck fuel will go up. As more and more wind turbines will cover Texas, the need for natural gas will ebb and the supply increase way beyond 535 years. As homes and businesses get covered with solar cells the use of coal will tank ever more. That supply will stretch way beyond 500 years. Maybe our friends at the American Petroleum Institute and their sponsors should cast their eyes on the ballpoint pens, the slacks, the folding doors, and all those other products on that list. I remember when they said the future is in plastics, way back more than half a century ago. Maybe it still is.